Page 34 of Broken Skulls (Rebel Skull MC #7)

Chapter Thirty-Three

Elizabeth

I blink up at him. I know exactly what he’s talking about. I feel it too.

“I’m sorry.”

He smiles down at me before bringing his mouth to my ear. “Promise to be mine the rest of eternity,” he whispers.

“Eternity,” I assure him right before his lips descend on mine.

Someone starts clapping behind us. “Beautiful. Now get the fuck up. We have a situation,” Jackson says.

Jacob slowly tears his mouth from mine. He stares down at me. “I’m going to kill this fucker for you.”

Jackson laughs loudly at this. “Oh, threatening to kill your president? You are smitten with this one, aren’t you?”

I grab his shirt, my gaze bouncing over Jacob’s face. He’d do it. For me, he’d do it. I give him a tiny shake of the head. His intensity scares me a little, but at the same time, I like it. He’ll protect me at all costs.

Jacob pushes himself off me.

“Next time knock.” He scowls at Jackson as he helps me to my feet.

“We did, fucker,” Elijah joins the conversation, coming up behind Jackson. “Do you have Tylenol?”

Jacob rubs his temple. “There’s some on the microwave.” He looks at me. “I’m sorry. I think I may have forgotten to mention that my brothers are pains in the asses who might show up at any given moment.”

It makes me giggle.

Jackson ignores Jacob. “Hey.” He wraps his arm around my shoulders. “Do you remember the girl I told you about yesterday?”

I nod. “Yeah. Her name was Lexie, right?”

“Yep. She’s here, and I think she could use a woman to talk to. She’s a handful, and she somehow managed to slip away from us tonight. Elijah just found her wandering on the side of the road.”

I glance at Jacob, unsure of my ability to provide comfort to this girl.

“Go on.” He presses a palm against the small of my back. “All you have to do is listen. You can’t fuck that up.”

Jackson nods in agreement. “I’m going to leave her here with you guys. I need to get to the warehouse for the charity run. Don’t leave her alone.” He points to Jacob. “She remains in your sight from here on out.”

“Yeah,” Jacob sighs reluctantly, agreeing with him.

We all walk out to the living room together. Elijah is already offering the young woman on the couch a glass of water and the Tylenol he found. Her eyes are red and puffy, and mascara is smudged under her eyes.

My steps slow. Her hair is a mess, and there’s mud on her palm and her knees. I stop. When my gaze rests on the leaves caught in her hair, I hurry to her side. I wrap my arms around her, tucking her face against my chest.

“You’re okay. I’ve got you. I’ve got you,” I whisper, rocking her back and forth.

I’m not sure if what I’m doing is helping, but this is the way I fantasized about it with my own mother. I just wanted someone to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be alright.

“What the fuck happened?” Jacob asks.

Jackson shrugs. “Don’t know. She won’t talk.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to talk,” I whisper to her.

She lifts her head, peeking up at me. “Nothing happened. My friends were playing a game. I agreed." As soon as she’s done speaking, she buries her face back against my chest.

The men all grunt in unison, thinking there is more to her statement. They might be right. One thing I recognize is the humiliation in her voice.

“Ash is going to be so disappointed in me,” she cries softly.

While I can relate to her shame, I’m not going to let it fester inside her like it did me.

Jacob approaches cautiously, sitting on the coffee table in front of us. “Are your parents’ home, darlin’?”

She shakes her head.

Elijah laughs harshly. “They’ve been gone longer than Ash has.”

Jacob and I exchange a look.

“They’re out of town a lot for work,” Lexie mumbles into my chest, defending them.

I push her away from me and place both of my palms on her wet cheeks. “Good thing your Skull family found you, huh?”

The way her eyes dart from mine tells me she doesn’t believe she deserves their kindness.

I shake her lightly. “I didn’t think I deserved them either.” I glance at the men in the room. “I’m still not sure I deserve them, but one thing I’ve learned is they won’t give up on you. I’ve never met Ash, but if he’s anything like the Skulls I’ve met so far, I’m sure he’s on your side.”

Her gaze slowly comes back to me. I smile at her. The dark circles under her eyes lets me know how tired she must be. She needs to rest.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” I help her to her feet. She needs to keep moving.

Jackson stops us as we pass him. He chucks her under the chin with his knuckle. “Don’t run,” he tells her.

She gives him an embarrassed little nod.

Elijah ruffles her hair. “See you at the warehouse, kid.”

He then turns his attention to me, mouthing a thank you. I feel my cheeks warm. It feels good to be on the same side as these men.

“I’ll scramble up some eggs,” Jacob says before walking his brothers out.

I tug Lexie down the hall. “Do you need help in the shower?” I ask.

She shakes her head.

“Okay, well, we’ll just leave the door cracked open a little in case you need something.”

I heard Jackson say she needed to be in our sight at all times. I’m not sure if that’s because she got away from them or if it’s because he thinks she might hurt herself. I’m not going to take a chance either way. I don’t want to fail her … or them.

I get busy setting everything she’ll need on the counter. Her gaze follows me as she sits on the toilet, hugging herself.

“You’re new. I’ve never seen you before,” she says, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, I guess I’m the new girl.” I chuckle lightly. “Jacob drove halfway across the country for me. He saved me from jumping off a cliff.”

Her eyes widen. “Who is Jacob?”

I forget he’s not Jacob to them. “JD.”

“Oh.” She drops her head, letting her dirty hair fall over her face. “He’s the quiet one.”

My butt rests against the counter. “What happened tonight?”

She sighs. “It’s not what you’re thinking.”

“What am I thinking?”

“No one made me do anything I didn’t want to. Things just got a little out of hand. It’s my own fault. I don’t know if the guys already told you, but I’m easy.”

“They didn’t tell me anything.” I sit on the edge of the tub. “Isn’t Ash your boyfriend?”

This makes her laugh. “No. He acts like he is, but we’re not a thing. I’m not dating material.”

I stay quiet, sensing she has more to say.

“He’s like a straight up hero. He doesn’t belong with a slut.”

She stops there.

“Why do you do it?” I ask.

Her brows furrow, and I know this is a question she’s asked herself many times.

“It doesn’t look like you enjoyed it.”

Her hand reaches up, and she pulls a leaf from her hair. “If I knew that, maybe I could stop. Because you’re right. I never liked it.” She chuckles sadly. “It’s never been enjoyable.”

“There’s your answer,” I say, standing and turning the water on for her. “If you’re not doing it for the pleasure, then maybe you’re doing it to hurt yourself. It’s a form of self-harm.”

When I turn back to her, she’s blinking at me wildly. The thought had never crossed her mind.

I kneel in front of her, placing my hands on her knees. “And this Ash guy. Maybe he used alcohol, drugs, whatever he’s in treatment for, to hurt himself. From the outside it might look like he’s trying to numb the pain, but he’s only adding to it. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t judge you like so many others have. He understands you. He sees you.”

“I’ve never thought of it …” she pauses. The gears in her mind are turning slowly as she processes what I’ve just said.

I stand up. “I’ll be right outside the door.”

Jacob is waiting for me in the hallway. “Everything good?” he asks after I pull the door partway shut.

My hand rubs over my chest as I look at him. Talking with Lexie made me realize something about myself. “I think I had been waiting for someone to save me. To take me away and shield me from the world.” I chuckle sadly.

“Hey.” He runs his hands over my arms.

“The entire time, I could have saved myself. Why didn’t I see it? Why didn’t I reach out to the people around me?”

“You were protecting what was yours,” he reminds me.

He’s right, and I’d do it a zillion times over. I kept quiet because I didn’t want Mr. Baxter to know he had a child. But I could have saved myself before it got to that point. I endured so many days watching a mad man give into his demented desires. Fear. I let fear rule my life. Sure, I was terrified of him, but I was also afraid of how people would look at me if they found out. I didn’t want to be a victim, so instead I let myself be the villain … just like Lexie.

“I could have told someone before then. For months he just painted me, he didn’t …” I pause, again letting my fear rise. The fear of what he will think of me. I’m tired of living in fear. Actually, I haven’t been living in it. I’ve been drowning in it.

I pull my shoulders back and look him in the eye. “He only had sex with me once. He didn’t like it. I … I was too warm, too alive. Looking back, I’m sure something made him that way.”

“Don’t make excuses for him. You don’t have to forgive him.”

“I know that. But how do I forgive myself?”

His face changes, and his lips part. “I’ve asked myself that same question several times. I watched my dad kill my mom. I stood in the doorway and did nothing as he beat the life out of her. How do I forgive myself for that?”

“You were a child, Jacob.”

“So were you.”

He presses his forehead against mine. “How about we start over together. Let’s be kids again. We can give ourselves a do-over. That’s how we forgive ourselves.”

His enthusiasm makes me giggle.

“Perfect,” he whispers.

I stare into his blue eyes, full of mischief and wonder. “Do you really think we can do it?”

“Of course we can. We can do anything we want. Two kids against the world.”

Soft sobs begin to waft from behind the bathroom door.

“Should you go to her?” he asks.

“No. I think she needs a minute to think about things, but I’ll be right here when she’s ready to open the door.”

He leans away from me. “You understand her?”

“I think I do.”

His lips press against my forehead. “I’ll finish getting breakfast ready.”

I nod, laying my head against the wall as he walks away.

A few minutes later, Lexie opens the door, hugging her towel around her. I take her hand and pull her to Jacob’s room. It makes me feel good to be able to offer this young girl help.

“Here, I think these will fit you.”

I turn my back to her as she gets dressed. When she’s finished, I grab a brush and sit on the bed. She sits beside me, and after a few moments turns so I can brush her hair.

It’s the same color as my daughter’s.

“I don’t know why all of you are so nice to me,” she says quietly.

It makes me laugh. “I’m new, remember? But I understand. I don’t know why they’re nice to me either.”

“I don’t recall the last time someone brushed my hair.”

I continue to do it. “I’m not hurting you, am I?” The nurses at the home brushed my hair for me most days. They were definitely not nice about it.

“No. It feels good.”

I blink away tears. “I’m glad.”

Jacob leans against the doorway quietly. He watches us a few minutes before speaking.

“Breakfast is ready,” he finally says.

“Come on.” I grab her hand and pull her to her feet. “Jacob makes the best eggs.”

He steps aside, letting us slide past him.

“Have a seat, ladies,” he tells us, waving his hand out to the table.

Lexie glances around the kitchen as Jacob plates our food.

“I … I didn’t know you lived here. At the junkyard, I mean.”

Jacob takes the chair between us. “That’s kind of what I was going for.” He laughs.

She blushes, embarrassed she might have said the wrong thing. “I didn’t mean …”

He stops her. “I know what you meant, sweetheart. No worries. I’m not offended. This is my sanctuary.”

“Well, it’s nice. Cozy,” she says, picking up her fork.

Jacob looks at me sadly before turning his attention back to her. “You’re welcome here anytime. Day or night.”

Lexie drags her fork through her food, stirring it around. “I heard Jackson tell you he’ll meet us at the warehouse later today.”

He nods, his mouth full of food.

“Um, well, um, I don’t want to go there.”

“Why not?”

She curls in on herself, sitting back in her chair. “That little girl. You know the one whose mom picks her up from school on the bike?”

“Charlotte?” Jacob asks.

She nods, and tears begin to pool in her eyes. “Yeah. Um …” She pauses, tucking her wet hair behind her ear. “I was mean to her.”

Jacob’s face softens. “It takes a lot to not only recognize that but to admit it.”

“If it’s okay, I’ll just stay here.”

He shakes his head, taking a drink of his orange juice. “Sorry, sweetie. No can do. You’re tagging along.”

“But …” she starts to argue.

He taps her plate with his fork. “Get eating, and then I’ll let you sleep for a bit. But afterward we’re heading over there.”

The panic on her face makes me uncomfortable. She really doesn’t want to go. I’m about to open my mouth when Jacob shoots me a look that makes me snap my lips closed.

He turns back to her. “You’re going to be around the club a lot. Jackson is done messing around. You’ve been putting yourself in bad situations, and we’re not going to allow that anymore.”

Her anxiety rises, and her gaze shifts to the door.

His hand reaches for her as she begins to stand. It wraps around her wrist, holding her where she’s at. “Listen to me. I know Charlotte’s parents are scary motherfuckers, but believe it or not, I bet if you let them see the real you, they’d be the first people in your corner.”

“I was horrible to Charlotte.” She begins to cry.

“Then fucking apologize to her. Jesus, don’t make it harder than it is.”

I squirm in my chair. He makes it sound so easy. Evidently, I huff out loud because he turns on me.

“Yeah, it really is that easy.”

The rest of breakfast is spent in silence. All three of us lost in thought. Lexie yawns into the back of her hand.

“Why don’t you guys go find something to watch? I’ll clean up,” he tells us.

She jumps at the chance to get away from the table. I follow behind her, but a big hand wraps around my neck, stopping me. Jacob gently backs me into his chest. “Danielle and Anthony are still staying at the warehouse,” he says quietly in my ear.

When I don’t respond in any way, he sighs loudly. “I’m not saying you owe her an apology, but I do think you love her. You need to talk to her.”

His fingers slide upward, forcing me to tip my head back to look at him.

He’s right. I do love her. She was my best friend, and I did my best to protect her from Dr. Williams, her stepfather.

“I had to juggle my daughter’s safety and hers. She’ll never understand why I did the things I did,” I whisper.

His blue eyes soften. “Why don’t you just tell her about the baby?”

“Besides my parents, you and I are the only people who knows she exists. That’s how I want to keep it.” I pull away from him. He doesn’t stop me.

Lexie is sitting on the middle of the couch with her hands tucked between her legs. I plop down beside her. “These people,” I laugh.

She chews the inside of her cheek nervously. “No joke.”

My eyes widen when she leans over and lays her head in my lap. “I kind of like them,” she admits quietly.

“Me too,” I agree on a sigh.

“I’ve never sat down and had a meal with my parents.”

Hesitantly, I run my fingers through her hair, still surprised she is laying on me. I remain quiet, letting her have a chance to speak freely.

“Technically I have, but it’s rare, and I’m not sure they even noticed I was there. They’re very focused on their careers.”

She pauses, her eyes blinking slowly.

“I like it here. I wish you two were my parents,” she says sleepily before her eyes fall closed.

A few seconds later, I hear Jacob step away. I bite back tears as the water turns on.

It’s made me think … does he want kids?

I don’t think he’s much older than me. Maybe mid-forties. At least as far as I know he doesn’t have children.

My head begins to spin. What am I doing here?

This morning, I was so sure. I spent it deep in thought, even talking to his mother. I was only thinking about what was good for me, but what about him?

Jacob walks through the living room, pausing when he sees the look on my face. “Are you okay?”

I nod, biting the inside of my cheek.

He doesn’t believe me, but he lets it slide. “Okay. I’m going to get some work done outside. Just holler if you need anything. I’ll stay close.”

Every time he kisses me on the forehead, I want to cry. It feels good. Safe.

Jacob would make an excellent father. He deserves that.

The one thing I can never give him.