Page 93 of Broken Beyond Repair

“I was, but I wanted to see you.” He eyed her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, a little tired. So you flew halfway around the world to see me. That’s extremely sweet, but I have a flight booked tomorrow. I was coming home for Christmas. Though it will be nice not to fly alone for a change.”

It would be good to have the company over the holidays too; it might even prevent a full-blown Dickensian Christmas.

“Yeah, about that. I’m not coming home for Christmas.”

“Where else are you going to be?”

“I’m staying here if you’ll let me. Chef Anthony has a house here, and he’s invited me to stay with him and his family for a few weeks. His youngest son, Freddie, is my age. I played against his school in hockey. We swapped numbers and we’ve become friends.”

“That’s very generous of him. I’ll need to call him and check everything’s okay.”

“It is, Mum, honest. I flew out here with them. They’re watching the show. You can talk to him after. He’s going to help me develop my skills whilst I’m here, too, and he said I could do some shadowing in the kitchens of a couple of his New York restaurants.” Alex stopped to take a breath. “I couldn’t say no, Mum. Dad spoke to him, too, and said it was okay for me to come out here with him but to see you first.”

“He did, did he? And how does he feel about you not spending Christmas with him?”

“He has a new girlfriend; she’s horrible. I could tell they didn’t want me there.” Alex hesitated. “I don’t want to go to his place anymore. I don’t feel comfortable. Is that going to be a problem for you during the holidays?”

Beatrice frowned and slowly shook her head. “No. I’m sure we can sort something out. Why don’t you want to stay with him? Did something happen when you were there?”

Alex shook his head. “I know about him, Mum. I know everything.”

Beatrice blinked.Everything?

“I overheard Syd and him talking the day he dropped me home.”

Everything!

“I’m sorry he put you through all that,” Alex said wiping his moistening eyes. “And I’m sorry that I thought it was you that forced me to go to boarding school.”

Beatrice reached out and stroked his hair. “Hey. It’s okay.” As he didn’t brush her off, she put her arm around him and pulled him into her. He came easily. “I would have had you by my side every day if I could have. It’s this damn job.”

“Even so. I know you weren’t responsible for Dad leaving us. Dad’s the dick.”

Beatrice laughed, making Alex laugh. He pulled out of the hug.

“I understand why you didn’t tell me, but you should have.”

“He was your hero as a little boy. I didn’t want to destroy that.”

“I get it. You were doing what mums should do, protecting me. Like Syd said, you got it the wrong way around.”

“You spoke to Sydney about this?”

“Yes. She’s been a good friend to me, Mum.”

Why didn’t that surprise her? Sydney was a good friend to everybody.

“She’s also been helping me… with something else. Well, Sam has.”

“Sam?” When the marine engineer returned to her mind, Beatrice immediately knew what that meant. How could she have been so blind? “Is this why you’ve been so sad all the time? You’re struggling with your identity?”

“I’m not sad because I’m questioning my gender, Mum. I’m sad because people will hate me and attack me for it. I’m sorry I didn’t come to you about it, but…” Alex shrugged. “You know.”

“I do know, and I’m sorry I’ve not been there for you. I promise I’ll do better from now on and I’ll support you with whatever decision you make about how you want to live your life. I’m glad you were able to talk to Syd and Sam.”

It explained why Sydney was keen for Alex to join them when they collected Gertie; she wanted him to meet Sam. Beatrice had thought the woman didn’t want to be alone with her. She’d agreed for what she thought was the same reason. Yet again she owed more to Sydney than she’d given her credit for, and she’d already given the woman a lot of credit.