Page 29 of Bride Takes a Laird (Highland Vows & Vengeance #2)
K endra held her swaddled babies, one on each side of her body. The babies were a good size and she realized how blessed she was to have survived giving birth to them. The lass had barely any hair at all, but the lad had a full head of shiny dark locks like his father’s. She tilted her head to smell the scent of the lad’s hair. She smiled to herself and a sense of pride filled her heart.
When she glanced up, she found Magnus standing at the door staring at her. He quietly closed the door behind him and approached with silent steps. As he reached her, a grin widened on his handsome face. How she’d missed him. She dreaded the words she needed to say to him. Kendra decided that if he was going to continue to be laird to his clan then she would stay at her home and give him his freedom. Her decision nearly broke her heart when she considered it, but it was best not to have false hope that he would ever care enough about her to put her before his clan.
“There are two? Ye went beyond your duty, Kendra, for I would’ve been pleased with just one bairn.” He chuckled and set a gentle hand on the lass’s head then leaned forward and kissed the lad’s hair. “Are ye well?”
“I am, Magnus. I cannot lie and say it was easy but I am well enough.” Kendra had thought so many times about what she’d say to him when she saw him but the words seemed to vanish in her mind. She sighed and tried to shift upward.
“Do not move, sweetheart. Rest, for ye deserve it.” He sat by her knees and reached to take a baby from her. “What have we? Lads, lassies, or one of both?”
“One of each. I cannot believe you stayed and thought you would return to your clan. I did not think you would stay because of the bairn.” She sighed and wished she could tell him how much she cared for him, that she didn’t want to lose him, and that she needed him.
His eyes found hers and he frowned. “Of course I stayed. Why wouldn’t I stay?”
“You did not reply to any of my missives. I sent you three and not once did you reply.”
Magnus’s voice pitched, “I did not receive them, Kendra. Had I done so, I would have come even sooner. I regret now that I was delayed. Believe me, I wanted to come when I first found out ye had left for your home.”
“I understand that your duty was to your clan. It shall always be. That is why…”
He pressed the baby against his chest, leaned toward her and set a light kiss on her lips. “It was wrong of me to put my clan before ye. I realized my error soon enough but then the snows came and I was unable to get to ye. Believe me, sweetheart, the last thing I wanted was to be parted from ye.”
“I cannot leave with you, Magnus. Not if you—”
He pressed a finger on her lips. “I will not hear of such—”
“Let me speak, please, because I have thought about this for months. You are finally here and I can tell you that I cannot return with you. If your duty to your clan outweighs your care for me and your children, we shall stay put. I have been alone for so long and it won’t matter if I remain so. Have no guilt over that. But I cannot bear being there amongst your clan with you traipsing about as if we don’t exist. That is more than I can take.” Kendra held back a sob that tore at her at admitting how she felt about his absence.
Magnus stood when the baby, his daughter, fussed in his arms. He gently rocked her and peered at her small face. Without glancing at her, he said, “I understand, Kendra.”
“Then you shall leave us?” Emotion snuck its way into her words and she about wept as she spoke. At that moment, she felt more alone than she ever had.
“Nay, sweetheart, wherever ye are, that is where I shall be. Ye are my home. I am more than ready to be a husband, a friend, and a lover to ye, and a father to our bairns. It took me a long time to understand what my duty was and is to my clan, but I will not allow it to come betwixt us. Ye and our bairns are more important than any duty to my clan. All I need is ye and our children.”
She sniffled back her tears. “I do not know what to say… Do you mean that?”
“Aye, I do. I came here with the intention of begging ye to forgive me and I wanted to tell ye that I…” Magnus retook his seat next to her and settled the baby in the crook of her arm.
“What? What did you want to tell me?” Kendra shifted their daughter and pulled her closer to her. She watched Magnus’s expression and noted the weariness on his face. He looked tired and sad. That tightened her chest and she reached for his hand and held it. “You can say anything to me, Magnus. I want us to be truthful.”
“I wanted to apologize about how harsh I was when I last saw ye. It was not that ye handled the stewart’s duty that irked me, but that I failed to do it. My anger was more directed at myself but I failed to say that to ye when I had the chance. I want to tell ye that I love ye, Kendra. I love ye more than I can bear. Without ye, I am a man with no existence, no joy, no meaningful moments. I am nothing but…but his clan’s laird. I want much more than that if ye are willing to…”
She squeezed his hand. “Look at me, Magnus.” He shifted his gaze to hers and she peered at his soft greenish-brown eyes. “You are more than just a laird. You are the man that I love and have loved for such a long time. I vow that I have loved you probably since you challenged me to find you a stronger drink at the king’s castle on the night we met.”
“I was drawn to ye from that moment too. Mayhap I should send the king a message to thank him for such a gift.” Magnus chuckled and his eyes shone with mirth but then he sobered. “I am undeserving of ye and well I know it.”
“That is not true, Magnus, because you deserve to be happy. You do realize that the queen instigated our marriage. I never told you this but she said if I made you smile that night that you would be mine. I did more than that, I made you laugh.”
Magnus chuckled again and nodded. “Aye, ye did. Ye were a wee bit brazen but no other lass affected me like ye did. I suppose then I should thank Queen Margaret instead.”
“Oh, nay, you shouldn’t. I don’t think the king knew about her trickery. Let us allow the king to believe he made the matches.” Kendra giggled and considered how angry the king would be to learn that his wife instigated relations between them without his knowledge.
“I remember what ye said to me that night. When that man knocked ye over and I caught ye. I asked if ye were falling for me and ye replied that ye might get me to fall for you too. Kendra, I beg ye to forgive me for not realizing sooner how much ye mean to me. I should have put ye first and not my clan. But all that is going to change. I dealt out my responsibilities to the clan and am giving myself more freedom. I only want to be with ye, to raise our bairns, and to have ye with me. Say ye will come with me when I return?”
Kendra released his hand and moved her gaze to the babies, first glancing at the lad and then the lass. “More than anything, do I want to return with you. But I will not have my son taken from me as you were taken from your mother. You may not know this but your mother has regretted not being the mother she wanted to be to you and has suffered. I couldn’t bear that.”
Magnus set his hand on her thigh and lowered his chin. “I know. My mother and I spoke at length about her regrets and mine before I left to come to ye. I agree, Kendra. No one will force us to part with our children until we are ready to let them go.”
She felt a tear fall from her lash and it rolled down her cheek. With no free hands, she couldn’t wipe it away. Kendra sniffled and tried not to weep but she wanted to cry at the joy she felt that Magnus had finally found his way home and opened his heart.
Magnus pressed her cheek with his thumb and smeared the tear there away. “Our son will be the laird to our clan one day, but he will be guided by me. And I vow to ye, he will not give up his childhood or be taught to be nothing but a laird, like I was.”
“I am pleased to hear that, Magnus. If we do return to your clan, it shall be a while yet for we cannot travel. Oh, I just thought about the manor. Who will take care of the Grahams…? Perhaps we can ask John.”
“Ye will need weeks to recover. Perhaps in early spring, we’ll return. And have no worry for your clansmen and women… Your brother has returned.” Magnus took the lad from her and held him up. “What a handsome braw lad he is, our son. Our daughter is a bonny wee lass too. Ye have done well, Kendra, aye for our bairns are beautiful.” Emotion snuck into his praise.
“My brother… Aston has returned? When?” Kendra wasn’t sure if she was happy to hear that her brother returned or not. He’d been gone for so long that she doubted she would even recognize him. And yet, she was gladdened to be rid of the responsibility of the manor and its servants. A little guilt twinged in her heart for thinking such, but she’d given more than any woman should to such an undertaking. The duty now lay at her brother’s feet.
“A short time ago. I should tell ye that I struck him for he deserved a thrashing for leaving ye to fend for yourself all these years.” Magnus cradled the lad and his eyes found hers. “What are we going to name these two?”
“I cannot believe Aston returned because I thought him long dead. Well, I am pleased that the Grahams will have their lord looking after them now. As to our children, I thought to name him Hugh after your grandfather and her Catherine after my mother. What think you of that?”
Magnus bent toward her and kissed her lips. “That is most pleasing, Kendra. My grandfather will be honored as would your mother. This pleases me greatly. Aye, Hugh, my wee lad, and Catherine, a great beauty like her mother—my children. I am the most blessed father.”
“My thanks, Magnus, for coming to me. I am happy that you are here and that you love me. It is all that I hoped for.” Kendra couldn’t hold back her smile. Happiness filled her. Not only did Magnus come to her, but she had two beautiful babies to love, and a clan—the Camerons, a family that would endure hardships together like a family should.
He smiled and gave her another kiss. “There is no one I love more or anywhere else I would rather be than here with ye.”