Page 78 of Brewer Family Collection, Part 1

Tears fog my vision as I soak in the moment, trying to make sense of my reaction. I’m so drawn to this. I feel a hollowness, an ache inside me that begins so deep in the fibers of my body that I don’t know how I haven’t noticed it before.

I want this. I want this for myself.

The fierceness of the realization is overwhelming. I’m dizzy from the power of it.

Is this what I really want? Or, am I just reacting to seeing a sexy man hold a baby?

It’s confusing and baffling because, just last week, I was certain I didn’t really want kids. But as Jason looks at me with the most tender look in his eye, I remember that just last week, I was certain I didn’t want a husband, too.

Maybe it takes this—the right person at the right time—to rip the shields down that protect you from potential harm … and open you up to the one thing you really need the most. Love .

“Do you want to hold him, Chloe?” Jason asks.

“ Oh . Um, sure,” I say, as Jason places Arlo gently into my arms.

Oh. My. God.

He’s so tiny.

He’s so … precious.

The feeling of the child nuzzling against me makes me reconsider everything I thought I knew about myself. Because this ? This feels right.

My palms sweat under the hospital blankets. Jason excuses himself to take a call in the hallway.

“Renn, Arlo is so sweet,” I say, taking in his little pursed lips and button nose.

“It’s wild.” He laughs as if the fact that he’s a dad is hitting him. “I’ve never experienced anything like this before. As soon as I saw him, I loved him more than I’ve ever loved anything. I’d die for this boy right now. No questions asked.” He blinks back tears. “I wasn’t prepared. That’s all.”

“I don’t think you can prepare for something like this. How could you?”

He stands behind me, peering over my shoulder. Arlo takes Renn’s finger and squeezes it.

“Here,” I say, returning the baby to his father. “I think he wants you.”

“I don’t know what I would’ve done without Jason last night,” Renn says. “He’s a really good guy, Chloe. I hope you know that.”

My heart swells. “I do. I know that.”

Footsteps capture our attention just before Jason appears in the room again. There’s a shadow on his face that sends a shot of concern racing through my body.

“Gannon and Bianca are here,” Jason says. “If you’re good, Chloe and I’ll go and let them visit.”

“Yeah. That’s fine. Thanks for being here, Jase.”

Jason nods. “I wouldn’t have been anywhere else, buddy.” He offers me his hand, squeezing my palm a little harder than usual.

My heartbeat picks up with each step we take toward the elevator. Jason doesn’t say a word in the elevator. We walk through the parking lot, the air smelling like fresh bread from the bakery across the street and stop in front of my car.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, the breeze picking up the ends of my hair and billowing them.

He runs a hand down his chin. “Dad has until Monday to take the plea deal. He’s going to refuse unless I fly to Florida and meet with him.”

“Why is he in Florida?”

“Because he was arrested in Florida. He’s facing attempted murder charges there.”

My spirits sink. “So what are you going to do?”

He blows out a frustrated breath and looks at the sky. The struggle is clear, and I hate it for him.

“What do you think I should do?” he asks.

I take his other hand and hold it in mine, too. “I think you should go to Florida and talk to your father.”

His face snaps to mine.

“Don’t do it for him,” I say. “Don’t do it because he’s holding something over your head.” I squeeze his hands. “Do it for you. Do it so when you wake up Monday morning, this can all be set behind you, and you never have to deal with it again.”

He holds his breath.

“If you go there and just get closure for yourself, that’s a win. And if he follows through on his word, that’s a double win,” I say. “But the worst solution is you go, and he doesn’t follow through, and then you go to court anyway. You won’t be any worse off.”

“I know, but I just feel like he’s winning if I go.”

I smile at him. “How is he winning? He’s rotting in prison while you’re out here, living your life, taking care of your family.

You’re filling his role better than he ever did.

You’re winning, Jason. You control all the shots.

Don’t let your pride get in the way of what’s best. You’re smarter than that. ”

“If I go, I need to go now. Towlin can set up a meeting for this evening. Then Dad can sign the plea deal in the morning.”

“So go. I’ll be here when you get back.”

I’m not sure if that’s what he needed to hear, or if he needed reassurance, but the relief on his face is undeniable.

“You are the best thing that ever happened to me,” he whispers, before planting a sweet kiss against my lips. “I love you so much, Chloe Brewer.”

Those three little words hit me hard. I gasp a quick breath at his voice saying those three little words to me .

He loves me.

I know he loves me, and I know I love him, too. I love him with my whole fucking heart. I don’t know when it happened or how it happened, but at some point over the last week, it’s become clear as a bell.

But saying those words, even though I know them to be true, fills me with a fear in the deepest part of my soul. It feels like I’m slicing myself open, baring my heart to him. And even though I know he’d never hurt me, that doesn’t mean I can override the strangulation I feel at this moment.

“Chloe?” he asks, searching me. Prompting me. Begging me to return his words to him.

“Jason, listen, I’m sorry. I just … I’m struggling over here to get the words to come out.” I’m talking too fast, too panicky. But I can’t slow down. “Let’s go home. I?—”

He takes a step back, anger flashing in his eyes. “Go on home. I need to catch a flight.”

“Jason, wait.”

He takes a deep breath, the wall I used to see around him all the time—but haven’t witnessed since we got married—comes back up.

“We’ll talk at home,” he says. “But, right now, I have to take care of this other bullshit because, if I don’t, there will be hell to pay for us all.”

Tears streak down my cheeks at the pain in his face that I caused. Even if I tell him I love him now, he won’t believe me. He won’t understand. He’ll think I’m saying it to make things okay.

I press a kiss to his lips and then back away. “Come home to me. Go take care of this, and then come home to your wife. I have a lot of things I want to tell you.”

That I love you … and that I think I want to keep you forever. And that one day I want to be the mother of your children.

I need time to process that, anyway. Maybe a day apart will do us both some good.

“I’ll let you know how it goes,” he says, nodding at me.

Then he turns and walks away.