Page 29

Olivia

I ’m angry. I’m frustrated, I’m angry, and more than anything else, I’m turned on. It’s been weeks of this back and forth with Crew, and I’m sick of it. I’m sick of denying that I’m attracted to him. I’m sick of him acting like he isn’t attracted to me.

Spending my life worrying about doing everything wrong is honestly getting exhausting.

Why shouldn’t we?

Night after night, I toss and turn, wondering why the hell my own hands leave me feeling unsatisfied… I’ve never had trouble drawing out my own pleasure. Now it takes forever.

That’s if I’m even able to finish.

I’m too busy for this. I’ve got too much going on to be thinking about how my bodyguard tastes .

I huff, drawing my arms over my head in an attempt to stretch the ache building in my spine.

Today is the first morning all week I’ve had time to wake up, make breakfast, and stretch before work. I plan on taking full advantage of it. Normally after years of doing yoga, a flow comes naturally. I can roll out a mat and sprawl out in no time. This morning though, everything feels wrong.

The sun isn’t shining. The poses don’t come naturally. Chesna doesn’t watch from the couch like normal. Across the room, my phone vibrates every so often with a new alert.

When it dings for the seventh time, I sigh, falling out of child’s pose. I groan as the guest room opens and Taylor steps out. He sees me draped across the carpet and smiles as he tugs on his blazer.

“Good morning,” I offer lazily.

“Yoga’s going well, I take it?” he says as he deposits a bag on the kitchen island and works on breakfast.

“Yoga’s fine. Everything’s fine.” I say, more to myself than anything.

Because it has to be fine , I remind myself.

“Any end in sight? Of work, I mean,” he asks gently, and in his own way, he’s asking whether or not I have more time planned for myself.

The question is another glaring reminder of Crew… because I do have an end in sight. A date with Chase this weekend on one of the rare Friday nights I have off. A date with a man who- so far- has been polite and kind and available.

So why is Crew the one on my mind?

I squeeze my eyes shut at the thought, clearing my throat and straightening my back.

“As a matter of fact, I do. I meant to tell you. Eight PM this Friday at this pasta place called Corino’s.”

Taylor raises a brow curiously. “Is this a date?” The amused smile on his face reminds me that he’s well aware of my dating troubles, but I ignore the look, smiling as I stand.

“It is,” I answer, strolling for the coffeemaker. He sips his own coffee with a secretive smile- as if he knows something I don’t.

I don’t particularly like that smile.

“What??” I demand, and he shrugs again.

He strolls past me. “Better get ready or we’ll be late again.”

The rest of the day is spent at a venue on the Drumstone River. By the time midnight rolls around, I fall into bed and wake up with barely enough sleep to do it all over again.

This weekend is jam-packed with another round of weddings. I still have five more interviews for bookings before the summer’s over. I’m just hoping the traffic will help cover the cost of Chesna’s bills. Maybe go toward a new studio too.

As the clock nears seven, I scoop an armful of papers off the kitchen counter and head for my bedroom. Only I’m a minute too late because the door beeps and Crew steps inside. The air in the room instantly feels hotter, and I hate that I stiffen as Crew’s eyes flit over me. Then he glances at his colleague just in time to catch the keys Taylor throws.

“See you at handoff?”

“Sounds good.” Taylor smiles, tapping me on the shoulder as he passes. “See you tomorrow for that hot date, yeah?” he teases, and if I wasn’t red before, I certainly am now.

“Bye!” I chirp as the door closes. “Warden,” I say, ducking toward my room before I trap myself in another embarrassing situation.

“Olivia.”

I try to hide my wince as I halt, nearly causing my tea to slosh over my mug. “Yes?” I finally look at him.

And god , I wish I hadn’t because he’s looking at me like I’m a mystery he wants to solve.

I wipe my expression clean and force myself to look at the box in his hand.

“There was a letter and a package for you.”

He offers them to me.

The letter is an invitation to Midsummers. It's already half-way into the summer, and I nearly forgot that means that everyone who knows anyone will be attending. The Benenatis has been hosting it for over 35 years- which means that Skar and Charlotte are continuing the tradition again this year.

I've yet to figure out whether or not I'll attend.

Another problem for later , I remind myself.

The box I don't recognize however. I rack my brain trying to remember what I ordered, I flush when I realize it’s a vibrator . A vibrator I ordered when I realized how useless it is to get off alone when the man in front of me is all I can think about.

“Thanks,” I squeak, maneuvering my binders so I can take the box without touching him. “G’night!”

I bar myself in my room, my back against the door and my skin hot with embarrassment. I don’t bother trying to work for the rest of the night.