Page 21
Twenty
HOPE
I can’t help but think about what Knox said. It’s impossible not to think about it. It keeps playing in my head. Of course, so do the good parts of that night. The things I shoved way down because if I enjoyed all three of them using me like that, what does that make me?
No . I shake it off and take a few deep breaths.
I managed to last this morning after giving Knox the all clear.
I’ d forgotten to do it last night. I’d actually left early since I was worried that he’d come back, or that Jaxon and Dimitri would find me and corner me.
Jaxon is the only one who’s made a real effort.
I have a feeling the flowers were his idea.
He notices things like that. He’s the only one who’s asked what I wanted.
“Warning,” Jaxon says before coming into my office.
I turn to look at him. Dimitri shoves him. “What the hell is that about?”
“She knows,” Jaxon says. “There are plenty of options, plenty of… methods to make something obvious.”
“Yeah, I’ll say it. Hey, he wants to fuck you,” Dimitri says. He lowers his voice and turns his gaze on me. It’s intense, hot, ripples across my body. “And he’s not the only one, sweetheart.”
I swallow and look between them. “This is—”
“Professional space. You wear that word like it’s armor, but the fun thing about armor,” Dimitri says, “is that it can be peeled off, bit by bit.”
“Boundaries are important to me. Here especially,” I say slowly. I want them to understand. Maybe logic will get through to them. “I worked hard to be here. It’s mine. This is my victory. I want to keep it. I don’t want… I don’t want to lose it. I earned it.”
Jaxon nods. “The guys say you’re damn good. We don’t want to take it from you.”
“Hell no. We just want to add some very necessary perks,” Dimitri purrs. “God, I’d even buy you dinner just to let you eat while I devour you under the table, never letting you come until you beg. ”
I shudder and look around, not sure exactly what to do with that information. “I, um… I…”
“Knox got alone time with you last night,” Dimitri says suddenly.
Jaxon’s eyes flare at that reveal. I step back again. The guys both look at me. Dimitri speaks. “He’s not capable of being in the same room as you without doing something. We like to stay even. Fill us in.”
“He talked to me. Almost gave me an apology. He grabbed my wrist and…” The rest of the words fall away. He did touch me. He was clearly thinking about doing more, but if I tell Jaxon and Dimitri that, I have a feeling they’ll want to do at least that. And they won’t stop.
“And?” Dmitri asks.
“Don’t keep us on our toes,” Jaxon says as his hand lingers against my side.
I push them both away from me, or I try to. They don’t move. I shake my head. “No. No. If either of you touches me, then you won’t stop. I know you. My words won’t matter. The whole team will hear and everything will be gone. Everything will be gone. You already let my dad come back.”
Jaxon freezes. His hand falls away. Dimitri’s eyes darken and he shakes his head. “You don’t want to say no to us.”
“Right now, it’s no. It’s no,” I breathe.
The guys both take deep breaths. Heat rolls off them. I know they’re ready to go. I know how much they want to continue forward, but instead, Coach Carpenter calls the team. Jaxon is the first one to take a step back .
“She said no, Dimitri. Coach called,” he says.
When Dimitri keeps watching me with confusion, Jaxon pulls him away. But he looks at me and winks. “Home isn’t professional.”
“Not even close, Sweetheart. Home… I have plenty of ideas for home,” Dimitri answers.
My blood burns with that promise. It’s a wrong response.
I know that. I shouldn’t want them like this.
The basic courtesy they’re showing me shouldn’t matter, but it does.
Their restraint matters. They are a part of me.
And since they’re not staying in my past, I don’t know what hope I have for keeping myself in line in the future.
“I have good news, Jared,” I say two days after Dimitri and Jaxon nearly got their hands on me.
“What’s that?”
“You’re cleared! You’re good to go back. I told you that finesse would make the difference, and it has,” I say brightly. “You’re good to play.”
He grins. “I’m glad to hear it.”
But he looks at me a little differently. He looks at me like he wants to say something, wants to do something, but there’s something else in his eyes, a wild glint that has me worried. I lick my bottom lip, then gently wave my hand in front of his face.
“Jared? Are you still with me?”
“With you,” he says, then snaps back. “Yeah. Of course. This is great news.”
I smile. “You’ll get to spend your days with the guys instead of with me. That’s a step up,” I say brightly.
“A step up,” he repeats, then shakes his head. “You smell better than they do.”
I laugh, a real laugh. It feels good. Really good. I pat his chest. “I’m proud of you, really. You worked hard, and it’s paying off. I can’t wait to see you on the field.”
“It’ll be great,” he says. “But I will miss my time with you.”
“I’ll still be here, making sure no one hurts themselves in the gym. You’ll see me plenty,” I assure him. “Now get out there and have some fun.”
As he walks away, I catch Jaxon watching me. Dimitri is spotting Knox, but Knox’s gaze is locked on me as well. I adjust my shirt, feeling self-conscious, and try to go about my day.
The day runs smoothly and goes by pretty quickly. I clean up, glance around, and make sure everyone is out. Then I close up and start walking through the building, heading to my car outside.
And it seems my shadow is still here.
A cigarette rests between his lips as his intense gaze lands on me. Green, hot, and overwhelming. He flicks his cigarette into the road.
“I think you could use an escort home,” he says .
“Funny enough, I’ve survived plenty long without you,” I say, but only half the venom I intend comes out. “And you have a weak ankle.”
“Oh, sweetheart, nothing about me is weak. You know that better than most, no matter what you saw,” he corrects, slinging his arm over my shoulder. His thumb grazes the side of my breast. “But I know one of us is never enough to satisfy you for long, is it?”
I scoff and try to rip away from him but nearly choke on that when I see Dimitri and Jaxon waiting at the corner.
They fall into step without stopping their conversation about who’s got the best odds of scoring more.
Dimitri drapes his arm around my waist, and Jaxon walks backward so that he gets to look at me.
I’m frozen in their touch and move with them as confusion settles within.
“Undo a few buttons, Knox. I think she looks a little hot,” Jaxon says while staring at my tits, then lifts his gaze to look at me. “You are always hot, but that blush…”
“We can’t have you dying of heat stroke,” Dimitri agrees.
“Nope. That view and that pretty mark between her tits is for us and only us,” Knox says.
I look up at him. “The… the video?” I force myself to ask. “Are you going to show it?”
He grinds his teeth. “Our team needs their eyeballs in their heads.”
“And that video…” Dimitri trails off.
Jaxon nods, though. “Tell her, Knox. ”
“Tell her yourself, asshat,” he quips back.
Jaxon chuckles. “Just so happens that video was deleted. Knox must have let his thumb slip while jerking off.”
Knox flips him off without moving his hand from my breast. His thumb keeps making passes that have my nipples hardening. Dimitri rubs my hip. “Next time we make a video, you’re approving the angles and begging for a copy.”
“Not that you’ll need it,” Jaxon said. “Three guys with high libidos are a lot to keep up with.”
My legs pause. Knox nearly trips over himself, and Dimitri walks forward a few steps before he realizes I’ve fallen behind. All three of them stare at me. Jaxon smirks at me, obviously proud of himself for bringing it up. Knox is watching me warily, and Dimitri arches an eyebrow.
“Are you going to beg already, sweetheart?” Dimitri asks.
“You really deleted it?” I ask, looking between them.
“Felt wrong considering the context,” Jaxon says.
“Means I need to replace it, and now that you’re here, that seems like it’s a matter of time,” Knox says, tightening his grip on me and hauling me forward. “Very soon.”
I shake my head. “Never.”