Page 13

Twelve

KNOX

I can’t focus on practice. I feel off. And my playing shows it. I get tackled four or five times before the sense is knocked into me.

Thankfully, before I can screw up further, we’re told to hit the locker rooms. I get into a shower, making sure no one else can see me.

I cross my arms on the wall and press my forehead to my arms. The hot water rolls over my body, but I can’t wash away the way that Hope looked at me. Her gentle fingers on my body, the softness in her eyes.

I don’t want her fucking pity. I don’t want her to see me as weak because I’m not. I’m not weak. I’m not… I’m not that scared little boy. My scars are my past, and since I can’t rip them off my body, they exist.

She wasn’t supposed to see them. She was supposed to check that box like a good girl and if she wasn’t mine , I would show the entire team the video of her taking all three of us.

I don’t want to leave the shower as it is. I hate using the locker room. I hate feeling like I can’t walk out and about without everyone asking me what happened.

Jaxon clears his throat. “Dude.”

I move the curtain slightly and see he has a towel and my clothes for me. I turn off the shower and grab my stuff and put it on before leaving the shower.

Dimitri shakes his head. “You look like a bad ass—like some John Wick dude. You should embrace it.”

I flip him off. “Not happening.”

“I could set you up with my tattoo artist,” Jaxon offers.

“If I wanted tats, I’d get them,” I say calmly. “End of conversation.”

“Yeah,” Dimitri says. “Anyway, let’s hit the gym tonight. The other one.”

As we start making plans to box, Jared walks over. He looks between the three of us. “Hope’s something, isn’t she? ”

“What?” I ask.

Jaxon watches Jared, waiting to see where this is going to go as he puts his piercings back in. Jared shrugs. “Coach said that she’s one of the reasons you guys joined, so I figured you’d know how great she is.”

“She’s something,” Dimitri says hesitantly.

“Her smile is amazing. She’s honestly the best person I’ve met. She said she’s not dating any of you, but I wanted to check with you guys before I make a move on her. I’ve been trying to hint to her that I like her as more than a friend, but I’m ready to take my shot.”

I nod once.

“The team comes first, though. If you’re not cool with it, any of you…” He swallows as he watches me.

He must know I’m seething. I don’t want to hear about someone else wanting her. I don’t want to think that now that she’s here, now that she’s seen me, I’m going to lose her to some fucker that I can’t take out because he’s my fucking teammate and…

I roll my neck and rub the sudden tension there. Think, don’t act. Think, don’t act. Think, don’t act.

“I can ask her out, right? She isn’t your girl… right? Or did I misunderstand something?” Jared asks, looking between the three of us. “Can I…?”

I’m about to lose my temper. He’s not even man enough to say the fucking words. He’s asking our fucking permission instead of setting up a date with her? He’s not good enough for her. She deserves someone who takes action, who can give her what she needs. He doesn’t check a single box.

Dimitri holds my shoulder, keeping me back. “Take your shot.”

Jared flashes a big smile and heads off. Jaxon shrugs once, then finishes getting his shit. I shove Dimitri off me. “Why did you say that?”

“Why not?” Dimitri asks with a shrug.

“She’s mine, you know that,” I snarl. “If we lose her because of this—”

Jaxon laughs. “Ours. She’s our fucked up little plaything.”

“Exactly,” Dimitri adds. “And she will never go for a guy like Jared. She might not want to admit it yet, but she’ll realize sooner or later that she’s meant for us.”

My phone buzzes and I see a message from Coach. Not Coach Carpenter, but the coach we’ve been waiting on. “Coach is here.”

As much as I don’t like everything about Hope’s father, he was there when I needed him.

Once he realized what my grandfather was doing to me, he beat the shit out of the old man.

Coach was good to me when no one else was, when no one else cared.

A man who’s willing to defend me like that wouldn’t hurt his own daughter. He’s not a monster. He saved me.

He protected me, brought me under his wing, made sure I was eating, that I had somewhere safe to go. There’s no way he can be terrible like she says. It’s impossible.

“Let’s go pick him up,” Dimitri says. “We need to show him around. ”

That’s exactly what we do. He’s impossible to miss at the airport.

He has a thick head of graying hair that he doesn’t try to save.

He’s got broad shoulders and he’s clearly been adding to his beer belly.

He wears jeans and a sports jersey as if he doesn’t own anything else and the letterman jacket from our old university.

He sits up front when Jax moves to the back and pats my shoulder. “My boys. It feels good to see you three again. Doesn’t feel right in town without you.”

“You know how things go. Once you have every mailbox memorized, it’s time to get out.” Dimitri chuckles.

Coach doesn’t say anything to that, but the way his eyes darken, it makes me wary. It never used to bother me, but now, my muscles tense like I’m expecting a blow. That’s just because of the inspection. It’s just because of what Hope saw. That’s all.

“We’ll show you around,” I say simply.

The first stop is the stadium. He whistles as he drinks it in. I almost lead him to the physical therapy wing, but Jax pipes up talking about the food and giving me a look that says No .

“I’m always eager for food,” Coach says.

Dimitri insists on showing him a stir fry place, then a Mexican spot, while saving the wings and sports bar for last. Which is where we settle in to eat. When I walk out to have a cigarette despite Coach’s warning that it will slow me down, Jax comes out.

I give him a look. “There a reason you’re limiting things?”

“Yeah. And you know it, or you would have ignored me,” he answers, eying me intensely .

She called him a monster. She was terrified.

That look in her eyes… It lingers in my head until I banish it by downing water until I’m sloshy and eating the hottest wings on the menu.

Then we’re left with the option to show him our apartment.

It’s a win for me. I’m not relying on my shitty family, not at anyone’s mercy.

I’m almost proud to show him how far we’ve come.

When we get in the elevator, he shifts slightly. “And Hope?”

Jaxon shakes his head once, but I handle that. “We’ll bring her to you.”

Dimitri grins. “A reunion.”

Coach lights up and happily checks out my apartment as Jaxon gets out to get her.

Her dad doesn’t need to know that she lives here, that her apartment is on this floor.

That’s something just for us. Jaxon has reasons and I have mine.

Hope is ours, not his. She’s outgrown him just like we outgrew that town.

Her specific location, her home, the place she likes to go to eat, that’s all off limits. I’m not going to lose control.

I might not believe he’s a monster, but I’m not about to give up my access to Hope. I don’t want her running again. Not this time. Like Jaxon said, she’s our plaything, and until she accepts that, I’m not risking a thing.