Page 26 of Break My Heart (The Haydon Falls #2)

He’s right. I do. But that’s not what I want.

I don’t want to be like Ryder, always working and not having a personal life.

His obsession with his business destroyed us.

We didn’t even have a chance to make it work, not that it would’ve even if he was home more.

Ryder and I weren’t good together. Sometimes I think I only dated him because he was older and established in his career.

Compared to younger guys, Ryder felt stable and secure, two things I desperately wanted when I was growing up.

Having a mom who died and a father who took off all the time left me feeling unsure and afraid, never knowing what might happen next.

‘What do you say? You want me to help you win?’

I take a moment to consider it, my gaze going to the bills piling up on my desk. The money my grandfather left me is long gone. Now I’m relying on profits to not only keep the place open but to support myself. I need publicity, and winning this competition is the fastest and cheapest way to get it.

‘The cider is in the storeroom,’ I say.

Ryder smiles. ‘I can’t wait to try it.’

‘You can go wait by the tasting table. I’ll be there in a minute.’

He leaves and I shut the door and call Sawyer .

‘Hey,’ he answers, in a cheery tone. I love that about him.

He always seems happy. Even when he’s angry, like when I beat him at stuff, he gets over it fast and goes back to being his usual upbeat self.

I wish I was more like that. ‘Do you want me to pick you up? I should’ve asked you that this morning, but—’

‘I can’t make it. I can’t come to dinner.’

‘Because of work? You won’t be gone long. We’re keeping the dinner short since Nash needs to drive back to Chicago tonight.’

‘Sawyer, I’m sorry, but I can’t. I’m having some issues here and I can’t leave. Tell your mom I apologize for not being there and thank her for the invite. Or I could call her myself. Do I call the orchard number or how do I reach her?’

‘Don’t worry about it. I’ll tell her. I’m at the orchard right now. I checked the barn and the wood is still there for your table. I think I found the perfect piece. If I get time I’ll start on it this week.’

‘Sawyer, you don’t have to do that. I can just buy a table.’

‘It won’t take long. If I use the metal legs like I have at the brewery, I could put it together in a few hours. But if you’d rather buy a new table, that’s okay too. I was just trying to make good on our deal.’ He laughs a little. ‘I did promise to fix your table.’

‘You did.’ I smile.

‘I’ll let you go. You want me to save you some leftovers? Your fridge looked pretty empty and my mom will insist I bring you something since you couldn’t make it.’

‘That would be great. Thanks.’

‘I’ll drop it off later.’

‘Just bring it back to the brewery. I’ll come pick it up.’ I don’t want him coming to my apartment. It might lead to us having sex and we probably shouldn’t do that again.

‘Yeah, okay. I probably won’t be there until around six.’

‘I’ll text you before I head over. Bye, Sawyer.

’ I end the call, annoyed with myself for having all these feelings for him.

I was really looking forward to this dinner, seeing Sawyer and watching him with his family.

I always wanted a family like his, with siblings and parents who were around.

My grandfather did the best he could raising me, but he couldn’t replace my mom or give me the type of family other kids had.

‘Hey, Gina!’ Ryder yells.

I get up and go out to the tasting area, which is between the office and the storeroom.

It has a big long table where I hope to someday host tasting events.

The metal fermenting tanks are just behind it.

People like seeing those, which is why I didn’t hide them behind a wall.

I left the area open, thinking I might do tours and tastings if G’s became popular.

‘You already tried them?’ I ask, noticing my ciders lined up on the table. I’m a little angry he took them without asking, but that’s Ryder. He does what he wants.

‘Just the first one.’ He holds up a glass that’s half full of cider. ‘You see how cloudy this is? This wouldn’t make it through the first round.’

‘Yeah, I was going to dump that one.’ I walk over to him. ‘You should’ve waited for me. I was going to explain what I did.’

‘I think I should taste them first and then you can tell me. There’s no sense wasting time talking about one that will never win.’

‘Try this one.’ I get him a sample of the one I plan to enter in the competition. ‘This is my best one. I think it could actually win.’

He takes a sip. ‘It’s good.’

‘I know, right?’ I feel my excitement building. I’m proud of myself for making something that good. I’m confident in my beer-making skills, but I wasn’t as sure of myself with the hard cider. ‘The color is good. It’s clear. The flavor is bright and complex.’

He takes another sip. ‘You think it’s complex? I think it’s a little flat.’

‘Flat?’ My excitement fades. ‘Why do you think it’s flat?’

‘Try it.’ He hands me the glass. ‘Let it sit on your tongue a moment and then tell me what you taste.’

I take a sip and get what he’s saying. ‘It’s too mild.’

‘Exactly. The judges want something that brings their senses alive. This one is good, but it’s not spectacular. It’s the type of cider you could serve to your customers and they’d be totally fine with it, but it’s not going to win the competition.’

‘Damn.’ I sigh and slump down on the stool. ‘I really thought that was the one.’

‘Go get the recipe you used. I’ll look it over and give you some suggestions to boost the flavor. Do you have the ingredients to make more?’

‘Yeah, and I have some new apples. I got them at the orchard here in town.’

‘Kanfield? The place where the competition is?’

I nod. ‘I picked them myself.’

‘Use those. Not sure if it’ll help you win, but if you do, it’ll be good for your image, which will help sales. People like it when a business uses local ingredients.’

Even though I’m irritated Ryder showed up here without telling me and I had to change my plans, I’m happy he’s helping me. He knows a lot more than I do about this and his suggestions might help me win.

After I show him the recipe and we discuss how to change it, I gather all the ingredients and make another batch of hard cider.

It needs time to ferment before we can assess the flavor, but tasting it now, I can already tell it’s better than the original one.

The same flavors are there, but they’re bumped up to a level where you can actually identify them.

‘I think this one is it,’ I say to Ryder .

‘Check it in a week. Make sure it’s not too bitter.’

‘I will.’ I check the clock on the wall. ‘You should get going. It’s late.’

‘I was going to have a beer first.’

‘Before you drive home?’

He smiles. ‘I’ll drink a low alcohol one. C’mon. Join me.’

‘Okay, but only for a few minutes. I need to help Aria. She’s been out there alone.’

We go out to the bar, get our beers, and sit down at a table.

‘I think Aria can handle it,’ Ryder says, noticing the lack of customers.

‘It’s usually busier. Sundays tend to be slow.’

‘Not during football season. This place should be packed.’ He takes a drink of his beer. ‘You should’ve taken my advice and bought bigger TVs and more of them. Guys come to bars to drink and watch games. The place with the biggest and most TVs gets all the business.’

‘I didn’t want people only coming here to watch TV. I want them coming because they like the beer.’

‘Gina.’ He puts his hand on my arm and leans closer. ‘What you want doesn’t matter. You have to think of the customers and what they want. And it’s not like you can’t have both. You can serve great beer and also have TVs for people to watch games.’

‘Well, I don’t have the money for that right now.’

‘Gina?’ I hear Sawyer behind me and yank away from Ryder.

‘Hey.’ I turn to Sawyer. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘I brought you the food from dinner.’ He comes up to the table and sets the foil-covered plate down, his gaze going to Ryder.

‘I told you I’d pick it up,’ I say.

‘I thought you might want it now, in case you didn’t have time to eat.’ His eyes are still on Ryder. ‘But maybe you already went out. ’

‘I didn’t. I was working.’

‘Hey, I’m Ryder.’ He reaches across the table and shakes Sawyer’s hand. ‘I was in the area and stopped by to see Gina.’ He smiles at me. ‘I missed her. It’s been awhile.’

‘How do you two know each other?’ Sawyer asks.

‘Ryder was my boss,’ I rush to say. ‘At the brewery I worked at in Green Bay.’

‘Your boss,’ Sawyer says, like he’s confirming what I said.

‘And boyfriend,’ Ryder says.

‘Ex!’ I say, almost yelling it. ‘He’s my ex.’

‘We lived together for awhile.’ Ryder glances at me. ‘But unfortunately, it didn’t work out.’

‘And now you’re here,’ Sawyer says, sounding angry. ‘In Haydon Falls.’ He looks at me. ‘I guess this explains why you missed dinner.’

‘Sawyer, we were working. Ryder has to leave soon and—’

‘Sawyer?’ Ryder says, cutting me off. ‘Sawyer Kanfield?’

Sawyer looks back at Ryder. ‘Yeah. Why?’

‘The guy who owns Kanfield Brewery.’

‘Yeah? What are you getting at?’

‘Can you give us a minute? I need to talk to Gina.’

‘Go ahead. I’m leaving.’ Sawyer takes off for the door.

‘Sawyer, wait!’ I yell, but he keeps going, storming out the door.

Shit. Sawyer thinks I lied to him, that I missed dinner to be with my ex, or maybe he thinks I’m still dating him.

Even if he did think that, he shouldn’t be angry about it.

He shouldn’t care. Sawyer and I aren’t in a relationship.

I’m single. I can date whoever I want. And so can he.

But if I saw Sawyer with some other girl, I’d react the same way. I’d be angry and hurt.

What does that mean? Are Sawyer and I in a relationship and don’t even know it?