Page 18 of Break My Heart (The Haydon Falls #2)

Gina

‘Do you date much?’ Sawyer asks.

‘I don’t have time to. How about you?’

‘I do, but it’s nothing serious. I’m not looking to settle down anytime soon.’

‘Me either.’

‘But do you want that someday? To get married? Have kids?’

‘That’s a really personal question.’

‘Is it? I get asked that all the time. Doesn’t bother me.’

‘You get asked that all the time? By who?’

‘People in town. Usually old ladies. They think I’ll end up alone if I don’t hurry up and find a wife.’

‘But that’s not what you want.’

‘I do eventually, but not now.’ He notices my tapping foot. ‘Are you nervous talking about this?’

‘Yeah, kind of.’ I force my leg to stop moving. ‘I don’t like the idea of being that committed, having all that responsibility.’

‘Why? Did something—’

‘I just don’t. Can we leave it at that?’ I get up and walk over to the metal bookshelf that’s along the wall, noticing a picture of Sawyer and his parents in front of the brewery, a grand opening sign hung above them. Next to it is a photo with some guys holding Kanfield Brewery beer mugs.

‘What are you looking at?’ Sawyer asks.

‘The pictures from your opening.’ I take one of them from the shelf. ‘Who are these guys holding the beer mugs?’

‘My cousins from Chicago.’ Sawyer comes over to me and points to the guys in the photo. ‘They’re all brothers. That’s Nash, the oldest. He’s getting married in October at the orchard. Next to him is Bryce, and that’s Jake, and the youngest one is Austin.’

‘Good-looking guys.’

‘We share the same genes, so yeah,’ he kids.

I set the photo down and point to the one next to it. ‘That’s a good one of you and your parents.’

Sawyer picks up the photo. ‘Right after this was taken my dad had his heart attack. Scared the shit out of me. I thought we were going to lose him.’

‘He seems okay now.’

‘He is. He just needs to watch his diet and not work so hard.’ Sawyer puts the photo back. ‘So did you and my mom talk before you came in the house today?’

‘Not really. She just asked why I was there. She’s really nice. I like her.’

‘She’s a little too into my personal life, but other than that, she’s great. And an awesome baker. She makes the best pastries you’ve ever had.’

‘Was she around when you were a kid?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Like did she work or was she at home?’

‘She was at home. She helped my dad with the orchard but mostly did mom stuff, like taking us to sports practice, being involved with our school.’

‘You’re lucky.’

‘Meaning what?’

‘Nothing. Forget it.’ I go over to the coffee table and pick up my glass. ‘Could I have another beer?’

Sawyer walks up to me, taking the glass from my hand. ‘First tell me what you meant just now. Why am I lucky?’

I shrug. ‘Having a mom. Mine died.’

‘Shit, sorry.’ He sets the glass down. ‘I didn’t know.’

‘It’s okay. I don’t even remember her. It was a long time ago.’

‘How did she—’

‘She was in the Army. A bomb exploded.’

‘How old were you when she died?’

‘Six. I was living with my grandpa, my mom’s dad. I remember him giving me a stuffed bear the day he told me. He didn’t usually give me presents other than at holidays so I knew something was up.’

‘Where was your dad?’

‘He was deployed at the time. They let him come home for her funeral, but then he had to leave again.’

‘That must’ve been tough with your mom gone and your dad not around.’

‘It’s all I knew. I never knew what it was like to have parents around. The military is my dad’s life. For as long as I can remember, he’s either been living on a base somewhere or serving on the front lines.’

‘And he never took you with to wherever he was stationed?’

‘He thought it was better for me to have a stable home than move around all the time. But honestly, I think he just didn’t want to be a father.

’ I look down, wanting to kick myself for saying that.

It’s something I know is true, but I never tell people that.

I tell them my father is a hero, a man who’s brave and strong and willing to sacrifice for his country.

It’s true, but I also see him as someone who chose his career over his daughter.

‘So that summer at camp .?.?.’ Sawyer waits for me to tell him more.

‘Was right after it happened. My mom died in May, a few weeks before my seventh birthday. In June I left for camp. My dad thought it’d be good for me to get away and be with kids my own age. He thought it would get my mind off what happened.’

‘But didn’t you want to be around family instead of people you didn’t know?’

‘Yes, but it wasn’t my decision, and you don’t talk back to my father. You do what he says and don’t complain.’

‘Do you still talk to him?’

I clear my throat and pick up my glass. ‘I’m going to go get another beer.’

‘I’ll do it.’ Sawyer takes the glass. ‘Another IPA or do you want something else?’

‘I’ll take the stout this time.’

‘Be right back.’ He goes downstairs, leaving me with thoughts of my dad and the last time I saw him.

It was a year ago. My dad was home on leave.

We had a fight, the biggest one we’d ever had.

He told me to sell the building I’d inherited from my grandfather and get a house instead, and to use the money my grandfather left me to go to college so I could get a better job.

I didn’t want a house and I didn’t want to go to college.

I wanted a business, something that was all mine, something that I built.

My dad didn’t understand that. He said it was too risky, that most businesses fail.

It took me a few months to realize he was thinking more about himself than me.

He ordered me to go to school and get a house because it meant he wouldn’t have to worry about me.

I’d have a place to live and get a degree that would help me make more money.

He could go on with his life and forget all about me.

Putting all of my inheritance into a brewery meant I might end up broke and homeless and asking my dad for help.

My dad’s never believed in me or cared about what I want.

He doesn’t even know me. If he did, he’d know I’d never ask for his help.

If G’s had to close, I’d find some other way to support myself.

‘The food is here,’ Sawyer says, coming back in the apartment with our beers. Behind him is a guy holding two paper sacks. ‘Gina, this is Eric.’

‘Hey!’ The guy smiles at me as he sets the sacks on the kitchen counter. ‘Sawyer says you’re the owner of the new brewery.’

‘That’s me. You should stop by.’ I walk over to him.

He’s kind of cute, in a boyish type of way.

He’s average height with messy blond hair, light blue eyes, and a dimple in his cheek.

But I’d still pick Sawyer if I had to choose.

Sawyer has a more manly look. He’s tall, with an athletic build, and I like his dark hair and brown eyes.

I’ve never been that attracted to blonds.

‘I might have to okay that with Sawyer,’ Eric jokes.

‘Go ahead,’ Sawyer says. ‘I’ve got no problem with you going there. It’s not like I only eat at your restaurant.’

‘Wait—what?’ Eric gives him an angry look. ‘You’re telling me you eat at other places?’

Sawyer laughs. ‘Get out of here so we can eat.’

Eric smiles at me. ‘Good meeting you. I’ll stop by this week for a beer.’

‘Looking forward to it.’

He starts to leave, then turns back. ‘Hey, Sawyer, Angie asked if you’d dance with her at the festival this year.’

‘Tell her I’d love to,’ Sawyer says, walking Eric to the door. ‘I might even do two dances if she’s up for it.’

‘Are you serious? Because she would love that. ’

‘Yeah, of course. You need help getting her there?’

‘No, my parents will take her in the van. Hey, man, thanks for doing this. It means a lot to her.’

‘I’m happy to do it. See you later.’

‘Yeah, bye.’ He gives me a wave. ‘See ya, Gina!’

‘Bye, Eric.’

When he’s gone, Sawyer returns to the kitchen and starts unloading the sacks. ‘Plates are right behind me if you want to grab some.’

I go to the cupboard and take out two plates, setting them on the counter next to Sawyer. ‘So who’s Angie?’

‘Eric’s little sister. She’s 16. She was in a car accident when she was 12 and was paralyzed from the waist down.

She doesn’t get to do a lot of the stuff kids her age do because of the wheelchair, so sometimes Eric and I will take her out on a Friday or Saturday night so she’s not stuck at home, feeling like she’s missing out. ’

‘That’s nice of you.’

‘Yeah, except I haven’t been able to do it since opening the brewery,’ he says, putting the food on the plates. ‘Jason offered to take my place. We just need to figure out a time and check with her parents about getting the van.’

‘If she ever wants some girl time, I could take her out.’

‘She’d love that. Would you really do it?’

‘Sure. Aria could come too.’ I smile. ‘She’s more fun than me.’

‘What do you mean? You’re fun.’

‘Not for a teenage girl. I’m not great at girl talk and I don’t really like shopping.’

‘You don’t have to go shopping. Just getting her out of the house would make her day.

Take her to a park or out for dessert. She loves sweets.

’ Sawyer hands me a business card. ‘That’s the number for the restaurant but it’s the best way to reach Eric.

If you really want to do this, call him up and you two can arrange a time for you to meet Angie.

’ He gives me my plate. ‘You can go sit down. I’ll be there in a minute. ’

I return to the couch but sit next to it on the floor, setting my plate on the coffee table.

‘Gina, I really don’t care if you spill on the couch,’ Sawyer says, standing next to me holding his plate and glass of beer. ‘It’s leather. Anything you spill can be wiped up.’

‘I’m good with the floor.’

He sits beside me. ‘I should probably get a real table.’

I laugh as I watch him try to fold his long legs. ‘Sawyer, you don’t have to sit down here. Let’s just sit on the couch.’