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TWENTY-ONE

Tuesday morning, Meredith trudged through the icy air, then froze in mid-step when she saw Gray standing at the door to her office, a large thermal box held in his hands. She tried to squash the little flutter that skittered through her body at the sight of him.

No. She was not happy to see him. She was mad. She was not going to fall into his arms because he brought her flowers and ... whatever was in that box.

She kept her mouth closed until she stepped beside him and entered her code to unlock the door. “Good morning, Chief Ward. How are you?”

“I’m fine, Dr. Quinn.”

“That’s good. I’m surprised to see you this early. I heard you were out busting up the lovebirds at the falls last night.”

“How did you hear that?”

“Aunt Minnie left some markers at my place yesterday. I ran them by Papa and Granny’s on my way here. Papa had been listening to the police scanner again.”

Of course.

“And I believe there might have been a certain young Shaw present?” She was fishing, but she was almost positive one of Connor’s boys had been in the group that decided dancing by a waterfall in February was a good idea. Kids these days.

“I’m afraid I can’t say. Confidentiality and all that.”

She humphed. She didn’t offer to let him in, but he followed her inside anyway and set the box on her desk.

“Enjoy.” He turned to go.

“What is it?”

He slowed but didn’t stop walking. “What’s what?”

“What’s in the box?”

“Coffee.” He winked at her and walked out the door and up the street to the police station. Meredith opened the box and gingerly lifted out four small cups. They were numbered. The numbers corresponded to the notes on a card tucked in the middle of the box.

Four different flavors of lattes. Each one unique.

He’d brought her a coffee flight.

A text popped up on her phone. It was from Judy.

What do you think of your latte flight? The chief walked in this morning and asked if I could do something like that. I never have, but I may put it on the special menu. It was so fun mixing the flavors and creamers. And I had to throw in one iced just for you. Hope you enjoy. And don’t even think I won’t be spreading it all over town that Gray Ward is courting you. What?! He was so cute. He watched me make each drink and asked me a ton of questions. Adorable.

Lovely. Just what she didn’t need. And this wasn’t courting. This was ... well ... she had no idea what this was. She wasn’t sure Gray knew what it was either. Was this some long drawn-out apology? Because if it was, it had to stop.

At least she knew they weren’t poisoned. Gray had watched Judy make each one. And poor Judy. She’d thought it was sweet. It wasn’t sweet. He still suspected that she might have been aiding and abetting the people who attacked her and Bronwyn.

She sipped her hot lattes and iced latte and couldn’t decide which was her favorite. Then she stared at her phone. She would have to say thank you.

Again.

Was this part of his plan? To keep her talking to him?

Because if it was, it was working.

The coffees are all delicious. Thank you.

You’re welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed them.

And that was that.

She definitely did not check her phone throughout the day on Tuesday to see if he commented further, but Wednesday came with no answers, and no random deliveries of special treats arrived at her home. And she wasn’t disappointed, because that would be silly.

But on Thursday morning, she was completely gobsmacked when a delivery arrived at 10:00 a.m. with a tray of Chick-fil-A biscuits and minis.

There was no Chick-fil-A in Gossamer Falls. The closest one was forty-five minutes away. And she missed her biscuits and minis. So much. She’d even tried to make her own. They were okay. But they weren’t the same.

There was a note. She took it to her office, closed the door, and opened it.

I overheard you say once that the only thing you missed about Raleigh was the easy access to CFA, specifically for breakfast. I didn’t know if you were a biscuit girl or a mini girl, and really, can you go wrong either way? I think not. Hopefully there will be enough here to satisfy your craving.

He didn’t sign it, but did he need to? No. He did not. This really had to stop.

But she didn’t know how to make that happen.

And deep, deep in her soul, she didn’t want to. She wanted to see what he would do next.

The knock on her office door had her shoving the note into her jacket pocket.

“My, my, my.” Bronwyn Pierce stood in the doorway. “What have we here?”

“Biscuits and minis.” Meredith touched the tray. “Want some?”

“Why do you think I’m here?” Bronwyn grabbed two minis and took a bite. “Oh, sweet deliciousness. How I have missed you.”

Meredith took a bite of a biscuit, then turned her attention back to Bronwyn. “How did you know?”

“That would be for me to know and you to never find out.”

“Beep!”

Bronwyn grinned. “I saw him come in with them. Figured I’d give you a few minutes and then invite myself for breakfast. Looked like he had plenty.”

“What do you mean, you saw him?”

“I mean, I saw him get out of his car with a tray. I said, ‘Good morning, Gray, whatcha got there?’ and he said, ‘Morning. I got Meredith some CFA.’ And I said, ‘I’m totally going to eat some of it.’ And he said, ‘There’s plenty.’ Then he walked into your office. Twenty seconds later he walked out, smiled, got back in his car, and drove to the station.”

“He went to CFA and got this for me? This morning?”

Bronwyn nodded and spoke around a bite. “Would seem so. And, can I just say that if he keeps this up, you’re going to have to marry him.” Then she held up a hand. “Kidding. Kidding. Kinda.”

“I heard there was Chick-fil-A in here.” Mo’s voice rang through the hall.

Bronwyn’s eyes widened, and she took a step back from the desk. Mo barged into Meredith’s office, eyes only on the tray. “Baby sister, don’t ever forgive him.” He popped a mini into his mouth whole, and it was only then that the realization that they weren’t the only ones in the room hit him. For a moment, his eyes widened, and his body stiffened.

But he didn’t turn and leave. Neither did Bronwyn.

Never underestimate the power of a chicken biscuit. Or, in this case, chicken mini.

“I’m kidding, of course. Forgiveness is divine and all that. But if you could not forgive him for a few more weeks? He might end up buying you a car.”

“I don’t need a car!”

“Who’s getting a car?” Lucy walked in and went straight for the biscuits.

“Maybe Meredith.” Bronwyn and Mo said the words at the same time, same inflection, same humor. They studiously avoided looking at each other, but Meredith couldn’t stop the whisper of hope for a future that might include her best friend and her brother speaking to each other again.

“Not Meredith,” she said. “Meredith likes her current modes of transportation just fine, thank you very much.”

“He’s brought flowers, coffees, and CFA.” Lucy wiped a crumb from her lip. “What do you suppose he will do tomorrow?”

“Nothing.” Meredith eyed the quickly vanishing tray of delights. “I’m going to put a stop to this.”

Meredith stood in the door of Gray’s office. “We need to talk.”

“Words no man ever wants to hear, but okay. Close the door behind you if you will.”

She did and took a seat in the chair across from his desk. She cleared her throat. “Thank you for the Chick-fil-A. It was delicious. I managed to save myself one biscuit from the rabid scavengers who helped themselves to the food. It was all wonderful.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Why are you doing this, Gray?”

“Doing what?”

“Don’t play coy.”

Every sign he’d ever seen that told him he needed to get out of a situation blared in his brain. He ignored them all. She was here. She wanted answers. And he was done with any kind of dishonesty. Miscommunication and missed signals were for teenagers still trying to figure out who they were.

They were adults and adults could have hard conversations. He hoped. “Are you sure you want the answer?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. But remember, you asked for it.”

She eyed him warily as he walked to the chair beside her and sat on the edge.

“I’m sorry, Meredith. I’m sorry for leading you on. I’m sorry for being confusing. I’m sorry for being a jerk.”

Her cheeks flamed. “You forgot about being sorry for kissing me.”

“I most definitely didn’t forget about kissing you. And I can’t apologize for that because saying I’m sorry would be a lie. I should be sorry, but I can’t seem to manage it.”

Meredith tilted her head. “I think I might be more confused than I was when I walked in here.”

“These aren’t apology gifts, Meredith. Well, I mean, they can be. They partly are. But that’s not the real reason for them.”

“Okay.” She drew the word out.

“This is my way of trying to break the ice between us. To open a path of communication. Maybe to give me a chance to worm my way into your affections? I’m trying to show you that I pay attention to you. That I’ve been watching you—in a completely non-creepy way, of course—since the first time you walked in. I know you love coffee and Chick-fil-A, and I wanted you to know that I know.”

Meredith’s brow crinkled adorably when she was confused. “I ... don’t ... um ... you’re going to have to be more specific. Because I hear what you’re saying, but I don’t understand why you’re saying it.”

If he told her he was in love with her, that might be a step too far. Especially at this stage in the process. But he wouldn’t, couldn’t, lie to her. Not if he wanted them to have a chance.

“I made a huge mistake.”

She watched him warily.

“I was so sure that there was no room in my life for relationships that whenever I was with you, or around you, I tried to convince myself that what I was feeling for you was friendship. And even though I’ve never felt this way about anyone else, I tried to tell myself that the intensity of what I feel for you was just the protective nature any man would have toward his best friend’s sister, or cousin, or whatever.”

Meredith pinched her lips together like she was trying not to say something.

“I know it was stupid, but it was a defense mechanism.” He leaned closer to her. “I’m not afraid of love. But I am afraid of losing someone I love. I’ve survived so many losses that I’m not sure I could survive another one.”

He leaned back. “I don’t expect you to trust me. Or forgive me. But I hope you will. Because I want to see what a relationship with you looks like. I want to talk to you in the morning and hear your laughter over the phone in the afternoon. I want to love every moment of our lives here in Gossamer Falls, but I also want to visit Iceland and New Zealand with you.”

Her eyes—her gorgeous, expressive eyes—told him he’d shocked her, and maybe not in a good way.

Too far. Too far. Time to pull this ship back to shore. “I’m not foolish enough to think that we’re at that point. But I want you to give me a chance. I want us to have a chance.”

Meredith’s jaw moved up and down, but no words came out. When they did, they weren’t what he was expecting. “I don’t understand you at all.”

The words nearly broke him, but he tried to keep his voice encouraging and light. “If you’d care to be more specific, I’d be happy to try to explain.”

“I”—she waved a hand toward herself—“said horrible things to you. How did we get from there to here?”

“I—”

“No. Wait. Don’t answer that yet. I need to apologize.”

“You just did.”

“No. I didn’t. I stated a fact. I didn’t ask for forgiveness. I didn’t tell you how sorry I am. I—” She blew out a breath, her shoulders dropped, and she closed her eyes. “Wow. This is hard.”

He waited. Giving her time, hoping that was the right call because he had no clue what she was about to say or what was hard. And he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

“I want to tell you that I’m not like that. That I’m kind and gentle. But obviously, you heard me say the words. And in the moment, I meant them.”

He believed that. He’d seen it in her face, heard it in her voice.

“But the moment? It didn’t last. By the time I walked in my door, I was horrified at myself. I could hardly believe I’d said those things to you. But I did. And I did it out of a mean, spiteful place that I rarely turn loose.”

She looked at him with an obvious plea for understanding, so he nodded in encouragement while hoping she would keep explaining, because if he had confused her earlier, she had completely befuddled him now.

“And in response, you bring me all these gifts.” She threw her hands up. “And tell me you ... you...”

“I’m not sure that I spelled it out as clearly as I could have, but I would very much like to date you.”

“That!” She shook her head. “Why? I mean, why now?”

“Why not now?”

“I was mean to you!”

“Have you forgotten that I was mean to you first?”

“That’s no excuse!”

He rubbed his hands over his face. “Okay. Let’s back up a little bit. No confusion. No mixed signals. No crossed wires. Full disclosure. Total transparency.”

“That seems like a lot.”

“You don’t have to reciprocate, but please hear me out.”

She nodded.

“The first day I saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. You laughed with Cal, and if I hadn’t known you were cousins, I would have been consumed with jealousy on the spot. When I realized that I’d reacted to you so strongly, I made a conscious effort to minimize my contact with you. But you kept showing up. You redecorated and reorganized and painted and nearly killed me with kindness. Things were getting shaky on my end. But then your mom was diagnosed with cancer, and for a while you pretty much disappeared.”

“It was—”

“No apologies, Meredith. None whatsoever. Honestly, it was a bit of a relief for me. I thought I could use the time to get you out of my system. To clear my head of you. Build my walls higher to keep you from getting in. And I thought it had worked. But it turns out that when it comes to you, I might build walls, but they’re flimsy. One little push from you and they didn’t just fall. They disintegrated.”

He leaned toward her again. “It took me a while to realize that I was wide open to you. That the reason I needed to protect you, to be around you, to know what was going on in your life, was because you had already set up shop in my heart. I just didn’t realize it.” He reached for her hand, and she slid her fingers across his.

“I want to rebuild the walls, but I want to build them with you. I want to build them around us, together. I want the walls to protect what we’re building together. I want there to be things that go on behind the walls that are ours and no one else’s.”

He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “I would never try to separate you from your family or your friends, but there are things I don’t want to share with Cal or Mo.”

She shuddered. “I should hope not.”

This time, he leaned until his forehead rested against hers. “I’m sorry, Meredith. I was a fool. Please consider giving me a chance.”

She was quiet for so long, he feared her answer.

“If you hurt me again, I’m not sure I would have enough mercy in me for us to stay friends. I’m not sure Gossamer Falls would be big enough for both of us. You could lose everything, Gray. Everything. I’m not trying to be entitled or overdramatic, but have you thought it through? My family will choose me. And if you hurt me again, my father will do his best to have you run out of town.” Her smile this time was sad. “I know this because he’s already volunteered to do it. Also, you should know, Mo wanted to kill you or give your computer viruses.”

Gray pressed a hand to her cheek. “What did you tell them?”

“I said to hold off.” She leaned into his hand. “But seriously, Gray. You need to be sure. Because if you aren’t, you could lose everything.”

“You don’t trust me.” He could see it in her eyes. A wariness that spoke of pain and hurt. All of which was his fault.

“I ... I want to. But I’m afraid to take the risk. And really, you should be too.”

“As crazy as this is going to sound, I’m not afraid at all. And you won’t let anyone kill me.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I wouldn’t. But I would probably let them run you out of town.”

“Sweetheart, if I ever hurt you again, I’ll run myself out of town.”