Page 8 of Brave Spirit (Bound Spirit #6)

Nolan laughs as he rubs my back with his free hand. “It’s okay, man. Really. I’ve processed. Even though you look like James, five minutes with you is more than enough time for me to see you instead. In my mind, when I look at you, I just see you, Felix.”

“That’s good,” I reply, rubbing the back of my neck while my stomach does a small somersault over his affectionate touch.

He clocks the gesture and narrows his eyes. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“What? I… don’t… I mean, I’m not…” I stammer, my cheeks feeling like they are on fire, as my not-so-friend-like feelings for him come barreling to the forefront of my mind.

“You’re rubbing your neck and blushing,” he points out, his hand still firmly on my back.

I don’t know why I’m suddenly so affected…

or why he has to smell so good, his spicy cologne doing very unhelpful things to me.

He leans into my line of sight when I start to examine the pen in front of me with way too much focus. “Spill it.”

I try to sound normal, but my voice comes out thin and reedy, while my fingers drum against the table. “Because I’m such a good friend, I’m not going to point out how hypocritical it is to demand I talk when you kept things from me.”

A wry smile that is definitely not attractive curls his lips. “That’s very magnanimous of you.”

“Oh, nice SAT word,” I praise, hoping to distract him.

“Felix.” He says my name in that I’m not going to drop this tone that I’m pretty sure he picked up from Callie.

Unable to confess with him so close, I escape my chair and flee to the open space behind the couch. “It’s not a big deal,” I reply in an awkward attempt at casualness that sounds fake to my own ears. “I just… um… sometimes see certain people… certain guy people… and, uh, think they are… hot.”

Nolan relaxes back into his chair and rests his hands in his lap. “Am I one of these certain guy people?”

Examining my shoes for very important, not at all to avoid looking at Nolan, reasons, I mumble, “Yes.”

“And this worries you?” he asks gently.

“Yes. No. Sort of,” I ramble. My brain turns into a muddled mess as I try to explain.

“The thing is… James was bisexual. Totally cool, nothing wrong with that.” I start to pace, my hands swishing in the air as I talk.

“But now, I’m James, and I have these feelings, but I don’t know if they are my feelings or if this is because my body was into dudes before I took over.

” I stop and frown at the windows that are letting in the remaining slivers of afternoon sunlight before it disappears behind the trees.

“There was also the time I was in Callie’s dream about all of us.

I was me, and she straddled my lap. You came over and kissed her.

I, uh, liked that.” I stuff my hands in my pockets, my shoulders drooping. “I don’t know if that means anything.”

Nolan startles me when he responds next to me, since I completely missed that he walked over.

“I don’t think it matters why you feel the way you do.

” He wraps his arm around my shoulders, causing my heart to jump a bit.

I refuse to move, because he’s my best friend and I’m not going to make this weird.

Unaware of my internal struggle—or choosing to ignore it—he continues, “This shit is confusing and complicated enough without trying to figure out why you feel it in the first place. Everyone wants sexuality to fit in neat little boxes, but it’s a spectrum.

Labels are just words to try to explain what we feel.

It’s not a rulebook on how you have to be. ”

“So what you’re saying is that it doesn’t matter if it was the bi-chicken or the bi-egg that came first,” I respond, some of the tension draining from my body. “All that matters is what I feel now.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s what I’m saying,” he replies, his smile evident in his voice. “And what do you feel right now?”

I take a moment to really think about it outside of what my feelings say about me. “I love Callie. I’m attracted to Callie, and I’m happy being with her. That doesn’t mean I don’t find other people attractive—guys and girls.”

“It also doesn’t mean you love Callie any less,” Nolan points out, squeezing my shoulder.

“Your attraction or love for one person doesn’t take away the love or attraction for someone else.

It’s not a finite resource.” He bumps me with the side of his body.

“Which you know, or you wouldn’t be with Callie in the first place. ”

“You’re right.” I sigh and lean into him as the nervous energy leaves my body.

He’s silent for a moment, appearing to gather some courage of his own. When he finally speaks, his tone is cautious, the words coming out slow and with great care. “You do understand that if I make you my thrall, then the attraction will become more intense, right?”

“I figured, considering what you all told me about vampire bites.” Awareness of him tingles down my skin, and awkward butterflies fill my stomach.

I don’t know what to do, as my current position against him feels intimate in a way I didn’t intend it.

My palms start to sweat again, and they feel too big for my body.

Nolan examines my profile with concern in a way that makes me want to find a volcano so I can throw myself into it.

“Whatever boundaries you set now, I’ll uphold them.

We’ll ask Callie to be there to help with any urges you get after the bite.

I can stay close without being actively involved, if that helps. ”

That suggestion conjures all kinds of thoughts I’m not ready to look at.

Instead, I turn around, out of his half embrace, and flop over the back of the couch.

Groaning into the couch cushion, the black leather cool against my heated skin, I confess, “Callie and I haven’t gotten that far yet.

We’ve made out, and that’s about it. We haven’t even had our first real date yet. ”

Nolan chuckles while making his way over to the matching armchair that sits diagonally from the couch. Sitting down, he comments, “You may want to get on that.”

“I know,” I bemoan as I climb over the back of the couch and flop face-first into one of the seat cushions. “But I’ve never actually been on a date before, so I don’t know how to plan one.”

“You’re making this way more complicated than it needs to be,” he states, humor lacing his tone.

“Just go do something you both like, or if you want to make it special, take her somewhere that means something to you. You’ve already done the hard part.

She loves you. You love her. A date is just going to do shit together. ”

I turn my head to look at him. “You really are a romantic.”

“We aren’t talking about me, and I can be very romantic when I want to be,” he insists with a challenging raised brow.

Finishing my journey over the couch, I lie long ways on it and stare at the vaulted ceiling. In a small voice, I ask, “So what do we do now? About the thrall thing, I mean.”

He clears his throat and leans back into the plush armchair.

“First, I’ll have to convince my parents that I need a thrall.

My grandmother, Dalia, could probably help convince them.

However, that won’t matter if we can’t get permission from the local coven since we’re living in witch territory, which means also convincing Mildred. ”

“I thought the world was witch territory. Do all vampires have to negotiate with witches to have thralls?” I ask. I have never really considered how difficult this would all be. Recently, we’ve been very do first, explain later, but I don’t think that’s going to work here.

“As far as I understand it, vampires have their own territories, Prima being the largest. It’s hidden somewhere in Europe,” Nolan explains, the leather of the armchair creaking as he tries to get comfortable.

“Vampires have complete authority in these territories, as long as they don’t break the treaties with the witches and vice versa, I suppose. ”

“Wait! Does that mean if witches fuck up enough, vampires would take over?” I ask, my curiosity overpowering my awkwardness. There’s so much about the supernatural world I don’t know. I hope when I’m a thrall, I can study all of it.

“In theory, but more likely, there’d be a war between them,” he answers. “War would be bad for everyone.”

I nod. “Yeah, that does sound bad. Got it. Following the treaties is very important, which means doing the thrall thing by the book.” I tilt my head back to look at him upside down. “So what do we do now?”

“Be patient, mostly.” Nolan thinks for a moment, and then he adds, “And maybe try to convince Callie to help with Mildred.”

“Sure… I can, uh, do that… I think.” I release a big breath all at once while considering that conversation.

Hey, pretty girl, so I want Nolan to turn me into his personal Capri-Sun so I’m not left out of the supernatural stuff .

“Patience. Convince your parents. Convince Callie. Convince Mildred. I’m sure that won’t be a problem. ”

“Super easy,” Nolan quips sarcastically then releases a deep sigh of his own. “We’ll figure it out.”

“Can we watch a movie or something?” I ask as I reach for the remote sitting over my head. “My brain hurts.”

“Mine too.” Nolan turns in the chair so his legs can hang over one of the arms. “Just nothing superhero related.”

“Boo, you’re no fun,” I teasingly complain while turning on the TV. “Fine, no superheroes. We’ll watch Star Wars instead!”

Nolan groans but doesn’t fight me for the remote, resigned to watch the greatest space opera of all time.