Page 25 of Brave Spirit (Bound Spirit #6)

Callie

I t’s been a long week since I told Mildred my secret about Felix.

The lecture regarding the ethics of what I did was substantial, and now, on top of my magic lessons, we’ll be going over the ethical use of my power, both magical and family influence.

She assured me it isn’t a punishment but part of preparing me for when I’ll eventually take over as the Volkov Coven matriarch.

Every time I’m reminded of this part of my future, I feel an anxious weight in my belly.

I can barely manage my own life. How am I supposed to lead a coven that supports hundreds of thousands of people?

Pushing thoughts of my impending future out of my mind, I pull up to the main gate that leads to the center of pack lands.

Relief washes over the two betas guarding the gate when they see me.

At first, I think it’s the general ease of the call that comes from being in my presence, but then I feel a rising wave of tumultuous emotions crash over me—anger, pain, grief, despair, and an undertone of pure stubbornness.

It pours over me until tears blur my vision.

Blinking until I can see clearly, I speed past the guards as soon as the gate is open.

It’s early evening, and the sky is painted in swaths of pink, orange, and indigo as the sun slides behind the shadowed sentinel of trees that guard the shifters living within their protective depths.

Any other time, I’d marvel at their beauty, but all I have room for is Connor.

My heart pounds to the refrain of, “Faster, faster, faster,” the closer I get, his pain acute through our bond.

Gravel sprays from beneath my tires as I skid to a halt outside of the alpha house.

Built up in the trees, its grand wooden stature is meant to represent a symbol of power and authority, literally positioned higher than all the homes around it.

There was a time when it was once a point of pride, but the blood of recent history stains the walls.

Even with the renovations, it feels like we are trying to build a new life on the screaming memories that time wants to forget, but I can’t.

They haunt me, whispering of the crimes committed by the previous alpha.

Following the tether that connects Connor and me, I jump out of my car, leaving its door open, and race up the stairs, blowing past the guards at the base.

There are so many steps, and as desperate urgency fuels my movements, my magic answers my unintended call.

Suddenly, a gust of targeted wind wedges beneath me and catapults me to the top.

With a strangled shriek, I fall on my hands and knees with a jarring thud.

I groan as a set of feminine hands help me to my feet.

Looking up into Sam’s worried gaze, I ask, “Where is he?”

“Alpha suite,” she answers, turning toward the front door once she’s sure I’m steady on my feet. “I’ll take you to him.”

We don’t bother with small talk as she escorts me toward a back part of the house I’ve never been to. The shifting reflections of relief follow me as I pass various guards and staff. They know their alpha is hurting, but they don’t know how to help. I’m a promise that everything will be okay.

Near our final destination, Connor’s mother is blocked by three betas and a set of shifted wolves.

“Let me through,” she demands, outrage pulling her wolf closer to the surface. “I am his mother. If there’s something wrong with my son, I need to be with him.”

The shifted wolves let out a warning growl as the beta in the center states, “No visiting alphas are allowed in the alpha suite,” and not the first time.

“This is ridiculous,” she complains, her words slurred by her elongating teeth. “I’m not some alpha on a diplomatic visit. He is my son. Either let me pass, or I’ll go through you.”

With a quick snap of her arm, Sam grabs Martina by the bicep, her wolf claws digging into the woman’s flesh.

“You harm any member of my pack, I will personally see you in the ring.” She tugs her back and lets go, causing Connor’s mom to stumble.

“Go back to your room. You are not wanted or needed here. We will support our alpha. Why don’t you worry about your own pack which is currently overstaying their welcome. When are you leaving again?”

“How dare you speak to an alpha with such disrespect?” Her claws grow past her fingertips, and the whites of her eyes give way to black.

“I am Connor’s second,” Sam growls, shifting to a defensive posture. “I answer only to him. You have done nothing to earn my respect.”

With my magic eager within me, I slam my hands together. “Enough!”

Before anyone can respond, I open my hands like I’m parting a sea, sending everyone and everything flying into the walls. “All of you, go. Connor is my mate. He is mine to protect and care for.”

Without waiting for objections or permission, I march down the hall, growing a thick wall of ice behind me.

Doing my best to release my anger and frustration over the barriers that stood in my way, I approach the door that has a pewter placard featuring a bust of an intimidating wolf.

After knocking gently, I slowly open the door.

The bedroom is dark, both in color and in the fleeting sunlight that barely crawls through the French doors leading out to a private balcony.

Connor sits on the edge of a massive four-poster bed that has thick forest green curtains tied to the posts.

His head is bowed, his hands are curled over his knees, and his gaze is lost to the internal demons only he can see.

My heart bleeds for him and the abandoned boy who spent too many years knowing so much pain.

Walking with soft steps on the hardwood floors, I approach his troubled form and place my hand against his cheek. “ Mi lobo , I can feel your pain. Why do you suffer alone in here?”

As if drifting from a dream, his amber eyes meet mine. “The renovations are finished. I am the alpha. These rooms are mine.”

“That doesn’t mean…” The sentence dies on my lips as a vision of a different man lost to despair takes Connor’s place.

He has the same dark brown hair that Connor does, except his loose curls are cut short.

His face, more than twenty years younger since I last saw it, doesn’t yet hold the familiar cruelty.

So much of Connor’s features are mirrored in that face.

Pity I don’t want to feel wells up inside me as I watch the way he quietly breaks.

Beside him is a woman ravaged by illness who is sleeping beneath the bed’s thick blankets.

Dressed in scrubs, a twenty-something Martina finishes an injection into the sleeping woman’s IV.

Compassion is etched on her features as she observes the man who will one day be her future husband.

“She’ll sleep soundly for the rest of the morning.

You should get something to eat and maybe take a shower. It’ll make you feel better.”

Connor’s father shakes his head, his gaze fixed on his dying mate. “I can’t leave her.”

Connor’s mother walks over to his side and places a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I know how hard it is to watch someone you love fall prey to cancer. It breaks your soul, but no matter how much it hurts, you can’t check out. You have twin boys who need you.”

“They look so much like her,” he whispers, his voice tight within the straining barrier of unshed tears.

“All the more reason to take care of yourself so you can take care of them,” she replies with a gentle squeeze of his shoulder. “She lives on within them.”

Suddenly, I’m jerked out of the vision to the sounds of Connor shouting my name. He’s no longer sitting. Instead, he towers over me as he shakes me by my shoulders.

“It’s okay,” I slur, trying to readjust to the here and now. “I’m fine, I promise.”

Connor bends over, cupping my face in his big hands, and stares searchingly. “What happened, mi reina ? You were here, and then I couldn’t reach you.”

Tears sting my eyes as I fight to keep them from falling. That monster doesn’t deserve my sympathies, since trauma doesn’t excuse cruelty, but it’s time to let go of another one of my secrets, the side effects too obvious to hide from Connor any longer.

Clearing my throat, I hold his gaze with stubborn determination. “What I’m about to tell you isn’t your fault. Do you understand? This isn’t your fault.”

Doubt swims within the dark shadows of his amber eyes, but he nods in response.

Sweat collects on the nape of my neck as an anxious swarm of bees bounces around in my stomach. I don’t want him to take on this burden of knowledge that will only hurt him, but he is my mate. He deserves the right to care for me, as I do for him.

“Since the night I… destroyed all elements of the old alpha’s existence, I feel the stain of him on my soul,” I explain carefully, trying to find the words to describe something I don’t fully understand.

“I think it’s the price of using my power to destroy a soul.

All that he was and all that he could have been haunt me.

” I sniff as I lose the battle against my tears.

“I get visions of his memories, especially the places that seemed to have left lasting impressions.”

Shock, horror, and deep shame flows from him into me. “Have you seen…”

I put my hands over his. “Yes. I saw what he did to you.” Turning my head, I place a soft kiss against his palm.

“You have nothing to be ashamed of. What he did wasn’t your fault.

He started when you were a kid, too small to fight back, and then wore you down until it felt like there was no escape.

” I hold his gaze so he can see that the darkness that lives inside him also lives within me.

“I know what it’s like to feel helpless against them and begin to wonder if you deserve the pain. ”