Page 24 of Brave Spirit (Bound Spirit #6)

Her sensitivity hits like a piercing dagger in my chest as all the secrets I’ve kept from her pile on my tongue.

Even today, after she teaches me something wondrous, I plan to use manipulative tactics to get the approval I need, because I’m scared of telling her the truth.

I’m scared to tell her that this whole thrall thing is just to cover up for bringing Felix back from the dead by inserting his soul into James’s corpse.

My feelings must show on my face, because she puts the ball down and crawls over next to me. Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, she pulls me against her. “What is troubling you, my darling? Please tell me. I may be able to help.”

The dam holding back all my guilt and shame breaks, and I can’t help the tears that begin to trickle down my cheeks.

It’s over. I can’t lie to her anymore. Resting my head against her shoulder, I breathe in her rose perfume and hope she’ll still love me when she learns I broke the ultimate supernatural law.

“I’m sorry,” I sob, squeezing the tennis ball in my hands.

My nan brushes her lips against the top of my head. “It’s okay. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out.”

I shake my head, wishing I could run away from this sick feeling inside me. “I did something I know I shouldn’t have, but it was the only way to save him.”

“Save who? Nolan?” she asks gently, her hand softly stroking down my arm.

Again, I shake my head, and then in a broken whisper, I admit what might make her hate me forever. “Felix. He’s… alive now.”

My nan goes frighteningly still. “How?”

My face crumples under the weight of what I did—what love, desperation, and too much power led me to do. “James didn’t survive the accident.”

“By the goddess, please tell me you didn’t put Felix’s soul in that young man’s body.” Her voice shakes as she sounds equal parts horrified and terrified.

“Yes, I did.” Once the words fall from my lips, I expect her to push me away and despise me for abusing my powers.

What I don’t expect is for the bouncing tennis ball to go flying into my nan’s bag, bonking Mischief right on the head.

He makes an angry hiss sound and jumps out of the bag, only to get smacked by the ball again.

When he tries to catch it to tear it apart, it only leads to him floating up into the air and then promptly being smashed into the ground.

It’s as if the spell has designated Mischief as the ground, and the ball must keep bouncing by pummeling him like the worst game of dodge ball.

It’s so absurd that I’m shocked out of my fear and despair.

I look up at Mildred and see the swarm of thoughts bombarding her mind. I also notice she hasn’t let go of me.

Waving a hand in front of her face, I comment, “The ball is attacking Mischief.”

She blinks and flicks her wrist, and the tennis ball goes flying into the woods to continue its bouncing mayhem. This solution is unlike her, and I wonder if she’ll even remember after what I told her.

Free from the great tennis ball battle, Mischief looks ready to huff off, but something on my nan’s face makes him stay.

He fluidly strolls to her side, rubbing against her free arm.

I’m relieved when she starts to run her hand along his fluffy fur, deciding this isn’t the time to remind her that the fuzzy creature is a sentient, ancient being.

“Do you hate me?” I ask, my voice small and fragile.

This seems to snap her from her swirling thoughts. She shakes her head, her eyes troubled but her expression loving. “No, my darling. I don’t hate you. Nothing would make me hate you, but do you have any idea what you did? What it means?”

“It’s a death sentence if the council finds out.” My shoulders lift in a defeated shrug. “They already want me dead, so at the time, it didn’t seem to make a difference what reason they’d use to justify it.”

My nan pulls my head onto her shoulder and rests her chin against me. “Ignoring the difference of a hidden agenda against you, and now having a legitimate law broken to cite to enact it, there’s a reason the dead need to stay dead. I wish you had come to me first.”

“I knew you would stop me.” My voice is strained as I try to explain what seems less and less defensible. “Felix was going to blink out of existence.” Tears once again start to drip down my face. “He was my first friend, and… and I love him. I couldn’t let him go.”

She shifts so both of her arms are around me.

“Oh, my darling. I can only imagine how hard it was to face a situation like that, but death is a natural part of life. It has to be.” Her tone is full of compassion while she explains why this line must hold.

“A society can only continue to change and adapt because there’s a finite amount of time in one’s lifespan.

It’s already challenging to evolve in the witching world since those with power tend to live longer.

” She swallows heavily, her voice hinting at the fear inside.

“Imagine if those in power could never die, because their spirits could forever be placed in new bodies. Unlike with James, I doubt they’d choose their donors from the available deceased. ”

A new, sickening sense of dread settles in my stomach as I envision the existing council living forever, and what they’d do to me to make it a reality. “They wouldn’t kill me. They would cage me and every spirit witch after me.”

“If they could figure out how to cage you while still harnessing your power, yes.” She runs her hand down my long hair. “And if they can’t, they would kill you before you could use your abilities on their rivals.”

“That’s why you’re afraid,” I mutter, beginning to grasp the weight and scope of bringing Felix back from the dead.

“Yes.” She squeezes me painfully tight. “No one can know what you did. No one can know that you’re capable of harnessing such magic on your own.”

“Only the guys, Mei, and Rand know,” I admit, cringing because seven people—now eight—seems like a lot of people to know a society shattering secret.

She sighs, reaching up to rub between her brows. “Do I need to swear them to secrecy?”

“No,” I answer with firm confidence. “They know not to tell anyone.” I shrink into myself as I add, “Though I could use your help in making sure Felix doesn’t lose his memories before the wrong person finds out he knows about the supernatural.”

“I feel for the lad, but I must discourage you from marrying him.” She pulls far enough back to look straight into my eyes with full-blown parental panic. “I know you’re an adult and love him, but you’re so young, and feelings change as you continue to grow.”

“What?” I bark, shaking my head violently. “No. I’m way too young to get married.”

“Oh, thank the goddess,” she exclaims with a hand on her chest.

“I need you to approve Nolan making Felix… James, you know who I mean, into his thrall.” I sigh with relief now that what I needed to say is finally out. “Oh, Nolan’s grandmother said she could convince the vampire queen to make this the reciprocity for Nolan’s curse, which means no council.”

“What?” my nan shouts at the same time as a flock of distant birds squawk in outrage and fly into the sky. The tennis ball strikes again. “That’s… I can’t possibly… To use the queen in such a way. That woman!”

“Whoa, breathe.” I rub circles on her lower back, the silken fabric of her shirt soft against my fingers. “Clench your teeth any harder, and you’ll chip a molar.”

She takes a few deep breaths, slowly returning to the calm, collected woman I know. “Callie, making Felix a thrall is forever. He will be permanently bound to Nolan. His entire life will be subject to Nolan’s needs first.”

Dropping my hands in my lap, I pull on broken threads on my jeans. “I know. Believe me, I have my own misgivings, but it’s what Felix wants. It’s his life to live.”

“Not just his life,” she states, her expression shifting to lecture mode, and not the fun scholastic kind.

“By taking over James’s life, he is tied to all those who love him.

Becoming a thrall means letting them all go with, at best, weak excuses.

After all that family has been through, they’ll never understand why James disappeared from their lives.

” She then goes for the jugular with a disappointed gaze.

“And we’re going to talk about all the moral implications of what you’ve done.

A family doesn’t get to mourn their son because they don’t know he’s dead. ”

Hunching my shoulders, I shrink more into myself. Despite the heat, I wish I was wearing my red hoodie, if only to hide from her disappointment.

She stands up and holds out a hand to me. When I take it, she helps me to my feet then holds me in a powerful hug. “I love you. I will always love you.”

“I feel a ‘but’ coming on,” I mumble against her neck.

“However,” she continues, her tone colored with parental exasperation, “that doesn’t change the need to have a long conversation about using your magic ethically. Even if it hurts, sometimes the best course of action is to do nothing. Some things have to run their natural course.”

“Like death?” I whisper.

“Yes.” She rocks me from side to side for a moment, letting her love wash over me and sink in. Once she can sense that I’m a little more settled, she pulls back and looks into my eyes. “Now, we’re going to finish our lesson, then we’re going to have our talk.”

“Okay.” I sniffle, rubbing the remnants of tears from my cheeks and eyes.

She sighs, running a hand along her low French twist. “Convincing the Yonu matriarch that it’s better to sacrifice a teenage boy as a thrall to appease the vampire queen than go to the council is going to be a challenge.”

I frown at her as I take my seat once again in front of the remaining tennis balls. “Why do you need to convince her?”

“The Twin Cedar Coven is now part of the Yonu Coven. All of North America is Yonu territory.” She returns to sitting in front of me. “It was her ancestor who donated this land to the new coven in the first place.”

“When is she officially taking over?” I ask, concerned what this might mean for Felix.

“She technically already has. I’m simply filling in for day-to-day needs until her niece arrives in a few months.

” My nan holds out her hand, murmurs something under her breath, and the bouncing menace comes flying through the trees and back into her grasp.

She hands the now motionless ball to me.

“Remember to focus and empty your mind of everything except the image of the ball bouncing, and don’t forget to breathe. ”

Sure, after the roller coaster of a conversation we had, I’m supposed to just empty my mind and think of tennis balls. I sigh, stare at the ball, and once again, hope my troubled mind doesn’t lead to bouncing trees.