Page 235 of Boys Who Taint

“You don’t mean that,” Apollo says.

Tears well up in her eyes, but she blinks them away. “It’s destroying me.”

God.

All I wanted was to earn her love.

And I ruined it all.

I step closer, and when she backs away, I kneel in front of her. “I’m sorry.”

She frowns. “You’re all trying to hurt each other because of me.”

I avert my eyes.

She’s right. We did try to end each other on the beach.

But how could I not when I saw him on top of her, having his way with her?

“But Levi—”

“Levi didn’t hurt me,” she interjects. “He didn’t even kill Mavis, but she died because he fell in love with me, and I was too scared to get close.”

Apollo approaches too and listens in on our conversation.

“What do you mean?” I ask, glancing at Levi, who’s still standing farther away.

“He didn’t kill her! You saw the video. Levi told me the truth. They made a pact to forget about their unrequited love by jumping off the ledge. But in the end, he couldn’t do it. And then she fell.”

She rubs her forehead, clearly shaken up. “He’s been feeling guilty all this time and literally tried to jump to end it all. But I couldn’t let him die. I couldn’t … take my hands off him.”

Oh God.

It didn’t hit me until now.

She’s not just upset because of our fight.

She’s upset because she lost herself to him.

I grab her hand and squeeze it softly.

“I’m sorry.”

I don’t want to lose her. I can’t. I won’t.

“I loved you so much …” I try to protect my heart from shattering into a million pieces. “I loved you so much that I was blinded by jealousy because you never loved me back. It destroyed me little by little.”

“What?” she mutters. “What do you mean?”

“When I told you I loved you, you didn’t say it back.” The silence between us was deafening. “And I knew it was because of him.” I glance at Levi, who just stands there watching us. “You loved him more than you could ever love me.”

She shakes her head.

“And I don’t blame you. I’m a monster, I know that. I lied to get my way. I was obsessed with the idea of having you, and I took it too far. But I am so in love with you that I can’t see straight anymore. If someone hurt you … I’d kill them in a heartbeat.” I gently caress the bottom of her hand with my thumb. “But I understand now. And I’m here, begging you for forgiveness. For every lie I told. Every video I ever took. I’m but a monster infatuated with a single girl.”

I lower my eyes.

Even when I tried so hard to keep him away, he still found his way back into her heart.