Page 30 of Bound to a Scot (Sins in a Kilt #2)

CHAPTER THIRTY

“ A re ye all right, lass?” Lorn asked.

“Aye. I’m fine. Just… I’m embarrassed. I’m mortified. I’m…”

Her voice trailed off, but Lorn took her hand and gave it a squeeze as he offered her a sympathetic smile. As he always did, he’d listened to her tell him everything that had happened with Maddox the night before without judgment… even if she knew she deserved to be judged for what she’d done. She’d certainly judged herself.

“’Tis nothin’ fer ye tae be embarrassed about, lass,” Lorn said. “Ye’ve done nothin’ wrong.”

“If only that was true,” she murmured.

After a largely sleepless night, Emmeline had once again thrown her covers back with a growl and gotten out of bed. She’d splashed some cold water on her face, trying to banish the memory of the kiss she’d shared with Maddox. It hadn’t worked. Nothing she’d tried could erase the memory and the rush of sensations that followed it. Her skin had continued to tingle, and her lips still burned where his had been pressed to hers.

The more she had tried to wipe away the memory that had been seared into her mind, the firmer it had seemed to stick. Nothing she had done to rid herself of it was working. Frustrated and feeling humiliated, she’d left her bedchamber and sought out Lorn as she always did when she needed to talk and ask for the sage counsel he always gave her.

“Look, ye stopped it before things went too far,” Lorn said. “Ye kept things from gettin’ out of hand. ‘Tis all that matters. Ye’re a good woman with a good heart. Naethin’ that happened with Maddox changes that. Especially since ye put a stop tae it.”

Emmeline desperately wanted to believe him, she wanted to accept what he was saying. But the fact that she couldn’t stop thinking about the moment she and Maddox had shared—and that she continued to long for him—argued against it. The fact that she had not only kissed him, but wanted to kiss him again, told Emmeline that she wasn’t as good a person as Lorn thought.

“Put it out of yer mind, lass,” he said. “Nothin’ happened and soon enough, he’ll be out of the castle and back tae his own lands. Ye willnae have tae see him again and ye can put this all behind ye once and fer all,” he said.

Emmeline let her gaze fall to the floor. If only it was that simple. Maddox might be back in his own lands, but she knew the memory of him would linger long after he’d gone. She wasn’t sure she would ever be able to purge her thoughts or her feelings. But she was afraid of saying that to Lorn. Although he’d never judged her for anything she’d ever told him, she feared that if she said she had feelings that strong and that deep for a man who was not her husband, that would change. That he would see her differently. It was something Emmeline didn’t think she could live with.

“I hope ye’re right,” she said.

“I ken I am. Dinnae worry. Everythin’ is goin’ tae be fine,” he said. “Ye just need tae get on with yer life like he isnae even here. Or like he’s just another guest. Ye need tae dae yer normal things and act like he’s nae even here.”

Easier said than done, but Emmeline knew he was right. The sooner she got back into the flow of her normal life, the easier it would be to banish the thoughts and memories of Maddox that continued to plague her. Maybe. And he was also right that soon enough, he would be gone. But so would Cecilia. Emmeline knew her life was going to be lonely without her and miserable with only Burchard to keep her company, but that was a bridge to be crossed another day. The task in front of her was to get her head back on straight and her emotions in check.

“Thank ye fer talkin’ tae me. And fer yer counsel,” she said.

“Of course,” Lorn replied. “Ye ken I’m here fer ye anytime, Emmeline.”

She offered him a smile then stood on her tiptoes and planted a soft kiss on his cheek.

“I should go,” she said.

“Where are ye off tae?”

“I need tae go intae the village tae pick up Cecilia’s dress like Burchard told me tae,” she replied with a hitch in her voice.

Lorn gave her a long, even look as if he’d heard the hesitation in her voice and knew what she was struggling with. He didn’t mention it though.

“Would ye like me tae come with ye?” he asked.

“Nay. But thank ye,” she replied. “I’ll be fine.”

“Well… be careful.”

“I will.”

Emmeline turned and walked away, her mind still spinning wildly as she fought to control her emotions. She slipped through the corridors, praying silently that she did not run into Maddox. She let out a small breath of relief when she stepped through the main door and into the yard without incident. As workmen and serving women bustled through the yard, attending to their chores, Emmeline headed for the stables.

“Eldritch, please fetch me horse,” she said.

“Right away, me lady,” the young stableboy replied.

He scurried away to do as she’d asked, leaving Emmeline standing alone. She glanced back at the keep, terrified she was going to see Maddox coming her way. She’d had the strength to push him away the previous night, but she was half-afraid she wouldn’t have the same sort of strength to do it again. She was afraid her yearning for him would get the best of her and that her resolve would crumble. And if she was being true, she’d admit there was some small part of her that wanted that. Which was why it was best that she got away from him completely.

Eldritch came back with her horse then set a box down for her to step on as she climbed into the saddle and got herself situated.

“Thank ye, Eldritch,” she said.

“Ye’re welcome, me lady.”

She offered him a smile then reined her horse around and trotted through the yard, passing beneath the sallyport in the main gate, then went in direction of the road to the village. It was a short ride but being in the fresh air and sunshine did her a world of good. She was feeling lighter and even had a smile on her face as she entered the village. Emmeline rode to a stable and climbed down off her horse, handing the reins to the stableboy.

“I’ll take good care of her, me lady.”

She handed him a couple of coins and gave him a smile. “Thank ye.”

Emmeline turned and walked through the streets of the small village, stopping to chat with some of the vendors and getting something to eat. The good humor of the villagers was like a balm to her soul. She walked through the streets, reveling in the unexpected sense of freedom and joy she felt.

Near the end of the row of a line of vendors, a small boy, of no more than ten or eleven years, approached her, his big brown eyes wide, a look of fear on her face. He took her hand and gave it a firm tug.

“What is it, lad?” she asked.

“Me sister,” he said, his voice pitched high and shuddering with fear. “Please, help me. Me sister is lost in the woods.”

His hand trembled as he pointed to the forest behind him. The soaring trees reached high into the air and the space between the trunks was dim and murky, as if the sunlight she’d bathed in all afternoon wasn’t able to penetrate the interior of the forest.

“Please, me lady,” he begged. “She needs help. I think she’s hurt.”

“Show me where ye saw her last.”

With the child running ahead of her, Emmeline darted into the forest. She followed the path that cut through the gloom that held fast to the forest floor, the tall, ancient trees pressing close on either side of her.

“Wait, dinnae run so fast, lad,” she called as the boy sprinted ahead of her.

The sound of the boy giggling drifted back to her as he rounded a bend in the trail and disappeared from view. The hair on the back of Emmeline’s neck stood up and her skin prickled with gooseflesh. Something didn’t feel right. In fact, something felt very wrong. She stopped running and turned in a circle, staring hard into the gloomy shadows of the forest around her.

“Lad,” she called. “Where are ye?”

The sound of a branch cracking echoed through the forest followed by the rustle of leaves that sounded like somebody walking through the undergrowth. Her heart jumped into her throat as fear gripped her. She turned to run back to the village to see a tall, broad man standing on the path behind her. The sun was behind him, leaving him as nothing but a silhouette, which made him all the more threatening and drew a sharp squeak from her lips.

Emmeline took a step backward but stopped, feeling the presence of somebody behind her. She spun around to see another man on the trail. He was tall with hair blacker than coal that fell to his shoulders, a long, scraggly beard that matched, and dark eyes that looked positively demonic. That image was only reinforced by the sneer that curled his lips, making him look like something other than human. Something darker. Something evil.

“Where ye goin’ lass?” he asked, his voice deep and gravelly.

“Please,” she said. “I’ve got coin in me purse?—”

“We’re nae interested in yer coin,” he said.

“’Tis nae true,” called the man behind her. “We’ll take it after we kill her.”

A third man emerged from between a pair of trees to her right. He looked so much like the man standing in front of her they could have been brothers. The man behind her drew close enough for Emmeline to feel his breath on the back of her neck, which sent a cold chill washing through her. The other two men stepped closer and Emmeline’s legs quivered so hard, she thought they were going to give out beneath her.

“Please,” she said.

“Please, what?” the big, dark-haired man sneered.

“Please, dinnae hurt me,” she said, her voice little more than a whisper.

“Dinnae worry, lass. Ye’re nae goin’ tae feel a thing.”

The man behind her scooped Emmeline up in a bear hug from behind and all three laughed. He casually slung her over his broad shoulder like she was nothing but a sack of laundry and they carried her into the trees. Emmeline kicked and struggled but couldn’t break the man’s grasp. But when they carried her into a clearing in the forest and she saw the large pond in front of them, she realized what they were going to do. She kicked harder and pounded on the man’s back, but that only made him laugh harder.

As the man stepped into the pond, Emmeline writhed and thrashed, panic starting to set in as her fear of water overwhelmed her. She felt weightless for just a moment but then she crashed down into the water and when her head went under, she lost her mind. Thrashing and spitting, kicking and screaming, she fought against the man’s hand as he put it on top of her head and pushed her down harder beneath the water.

Her heart was racing faster than it ever had as a fear she’d never felt before flooded her veins. She screamed but got a mouthful of water for her efforts. Hacking and spitting, she was able to squirm away from the man, trying to cough of up all the water she’d swallowed. The man grimaced and grabbed her by the hair again and delivered a hard punch to her face that snapped Emmeline’s head back as her body grew limp.

A satisfied grin touching his lips, she screamed with all the breath in her lungs one final time as the man pushed her head beneath the water again.