Page 5 of Bonds of Magic (Vesperwood Academy: Incubus #3)

“Good morning,” she said, her usually brisk tone quieter today.

“By now, I’m sure you’ve all heard the dean’s message at breakfast this morning.

Erika Martinez died from a fall last in the woods last night.

She was found by another student, who stayed with her until faculty arrived.

Efforts were made to revive her, but her death was sudden, and they were ultimately unsuccessful. ”

Most of the heads in the room swiveled to look at Erika’s empty desk, right next to mine. Some people studied me, too. My friends weren’t the only ones who’d noticed I’d missed breakfast.

“As Dean Mansur said, any student who feels unsafe at the university at this point is free to leave. Your spot will be held for one year, and you will be welcomed back warmly. I encourage you to make the best decision you can for yourself. But I will also say that I hope you choose to remain. You are all bright minds with huge potential, and extra security measures have been put in place to ensure your safety. Going forward, all undergraduate students must be accompanied by professors when outside of the manor, which should prevent any further accidents.”

Kazansky smiled sadly. “Erika’s death is a tragic loss for her family, her friends, your class, and for Vesperwood as a whole.

We will all miss her quick mind and intelligent contributions to class discussions.

But Erika was an inquisitive person, who enjoyed learning for learning’s sake.

The best way to honor her memory is to forge ahead.

I’m sure that’s what she would want to do, if she were here. ”

It should have sounded hollow, but the fact was, Kazansky was right. Erika would have wanted to press ahead with lessons, her pen poised to take notes, her mind grasping new content quicker than anyone else.

Kazansky’s gaze swept the room looking for…what, exactly? Assent? Objections? Someone to burst into tears and claim they couldn’t go on?

No one said anything, or even moved. Finally, Kazansky nodded. “Alright, then. Let’s pick up where we left off yesterday.”

I spent the rest of class in silence and sorrow, doing my best to ignore the psst ’s and hey ’s coming from Ash.

I ignored him during Environmental Magic too, and tried to slip out quickly and head back to my room when it was time for lunch.

But Ash was too fast. He nabbed me before I reached the end of the corridor.

“What is up with you?” he asked, yanking me to a stop. He’d gotten a hold of my sleeve and wasn’t letting go, no matter how hard I pulled.

“Nothing,” I said, giving him a look that I hoped was…something. I wasn’t even sure. “I’m just tired.”

“That makes sense,” Felix said, coming up to join us. He shifted his books from one arm to another. “We never caught up with you last night. How long were you out there?”

“And did you see what happened?” Ash pressed. “Were you the one who found Erika?”

“I—no—I don’t want to talk about it,” I stammered. Other students were streaming past us. I didn’t want to have this conversation at all, but I especially didn’t want to have it here.

“Because Paolo Webb said he saw Noah bring you back to the manor, covered in blood,” Ash said, not listening to me at all. “Were you there? What happened to her? How bad was the fall?”

“I wasn’t—” I tried again, but Ash steamrolled on.

“Did she really fall? Or is that a cover story? I feel like people don’t die from falling unless it’s like, off a cliff. Was it off a cliff, down by the lake? You have to tell me, Cory, I’m dying.”

“Jesus,” I snapped, tugging my arm free once and for all. There was a tiny hole in my sleeve now. “Erika is actually dead, and you’re acting like this is just stupid gossip. What the hell is wrong with you?”

Ash looked wounded.

“I know she’s dead,” he said angrily. “And she was my friend too. I probably knew her better than you did, seeing as how I’ve been here longer. Sue me for wanting to figure out what happened to her. God knows the administration isn’t going to tell us anything useful.”

“There’s no reason to think they’re lying,” Felix said sadly. “People die from falls all the time. All it takes is landing in the wrong place at the wrong angle.”

“Not Erika,” Ash said, glaring first at Felix, then at me.

I sighed. It had felt good to snap at Ash, but it wasn’t fair. I wasn’t actually mad at him. I was mad at myself.

I looked around the corridor helplessly. We had it to ourselves now. There was no rescue coming to save me from this conversation.

“The dean told me I’m not supposed to talk about it,” I said. Ash was still glaring at me, and I held my hands out helplessly. “I promised. He said he didn’t want rumors starting.”

“He would,” Ash said, but a touch of anger went out of his tone.

That wasn’t what the dean had said, exactly. But it was close enough.

“The thing is, you guys should probably—” I broke off. Not because I wasn’t supposed to say more, but because I didn’t want to say what I knew I had to tell them next.

“It’s my fault,” I said, trying to push down the sorrow and guilt that rose in my chest. “That’s what you really need to know. That’s what matters.”

“What?” Ash said. “How could it be your fault?”

“It just is, okay?” I needed to drive that point home. “If I hadn’t gone out there, if I hadn’t insisted on going off alone, she’d still be here. If I’d never come to Vesperwood, Erika would be—”

“Okay, stop right there, because you sound insane.” Ash cut me off and gave me an are-you-really-this-stupid look.

“I don’t even need to know the details to know that’s not true.

Unless you pushed her from a ledge or hit her with a cursed amulet or, I don’t know, put a gun to her head, whatever happened is not your fault. ”

I gasped when Ash mentioned a gun. He didn’t know. Nobody knew. But he might as well have, the way his words hit home.

“I did,” I whispered. How could I get him to see that? “I might as well have, anyway. I should have stopped her. Should have tried harder, should have been faster. If I hadn’t been such a coward, then maybe she’d—”

“I’m sure you did everything you could,” Felix cut in. “But if the dean doesn’t want you to talk about it, you probably shouldn’t.”

“Will you let him speak for once?” Ash said.

“You’re the one who keeps interrupting people.”

“You interrupted him just now.”

“Only because I was trying to—”

“Oh my God, will you two stop?” All the exhaustion I’d felt last night returned, listening to them. My head was starting to hurt again, too. Maybe I really should go back to my room and rest.

The two of them looked at me, chagrined, and I felt shitty for snapping again. It wasn’t their fault. They’d lost a friend too. And Ash was right, they’d known Erika longer than I had. Of course they were struggling today.

“I won’t say anything I shouldn’t,” I told Felix.

“And I can’t convince you guys of something you weren’t there for.

But I think—” I swallowed around a sudden raft of tears, lodged in my throat.

“I think it would probably be for the best if you guys stopped hanging out with me. People around me tend to get hurt. And I don’t want anything else to happen. Especially not to you guys.”

“God, that’s even dumber than the last thing you said.” Ash sent me a withering look. “If you were really a danger to everyone, the dean would kick you out. Or close the school. Or something. But he hasn’t done any of those things, so I’m pretty sure you’re actually fine.”

I’d wondered why the dean hadn’t done exactly that. But since he hadn’t, it was up to me to convince my friends of the danger.

“I’m not,” I said. “Don’t you get it? I show up here and things start going wrong like, immediately. I’m dangerous. I honestly don’t know why the dean hasn’t kicked me out. He probably should.”

“Cory, I’m not trying to be rude, but you haven’t even managed to manifest a light yet in Spellwork. I don’t think you’re a secret serial killer about to slay us all with your evil spells.”

“I’m not what you think I am,” I protested.

“Yeah, because I thought you were at least moderately intelligent, but everything you’ve said today is making me question that.” Ash sighed. “Look, I won’t ask you about Erika anymore. We don’t have to talk about it. But don’t you get it? We already lost one friend. I don’t want to lose another.”

I looked at Felix helplessly. He shrugged. “Ash has a point. I don’t want to lose you either.”

Frustration welled up inside me, but it blocked all the words I wanted to say, and all I could do was look at them pleadingly. I didn’t want to lose my friends either. But I didn’t deserve them. And I couldn’t make them see that without telling them everything.

Should I? Should I be honest, and screw everything Dean Mansur said about keeping silent? Maybe my friends would be able to make sense of the bits and pieces I remembered of the conversation in the dean’s office last night.

But then I remembered the dean’s warning. That keeping quiet wasn’t just for my safety. It was for everyone else’s too. I didn’t want to put Felix and Ash in more danger than they were already in by hanging out with me.

“I’ll take your silence as acceptance that I am, as usual, one hundred percent correct about everything.” Ash smiled and linked his arm through mine. “Now come on. I didn’t see you at breakfast, so you’re probably starving. Let’s go get lunch, okay?”

It was easier to let him drag me along than to take a stand. Because that was what I did, wasn’t it? Always took the path of least resistance. Even when I knew it was wrong.

My head hurt, and I was starting to feel spacey, but it wasn’t until I felt that familiar tug in my core that I remembered I hadn’t dreamed last night.

I had been due for a lesson with Romero, but I’d skipped it.

Which was, undoubtedly, why Romero had been out in the woods looking for me.

Yet another consequence of my thoughtless actions.