Page 19 of Bonds of Magic (Vesperwood Academy: Incubus #3)

“No. I do know how to make choices, you know. Whether or not you approve of them. I knew what I wanted. But it took me a minute to admit it. So to Sean, it might have looked like he got me to change my mind. And I kind of let him be a little rough with me. And I didn’t tell him to stop.

So it’s possible that tonight, he thought…

” Cory looked away and said softly, “It wouldn’t be fair to kick him out. Not for this.”

I stared at him in disbelief. I didn’t know what to do with this information. I didn’t want to know what ‘ a little rough ’ meant, except, of course, that I did. But I really didn’t want to picture Cory with Sean. Not my Cory.

And I still thought he was cutting Sean way too much slack. If I hadn’t come into that shower room—I didn’t want to imagine what might have happened. My chest was tight, just brushing up against the edge of that thought. I wondered if Cory had any idea how close a call it had been.

“You must think I’m pathetic,” he said after a long moment.

“I don’t think you’re—” I stopped myself, shaking my head.

I didn’t think he was pathetic, but that wasn’t really the point.

I tried again. “Who you hook up with is none of my business. I’m your teacher, Cory.

I’m not even supposed to know about that.

But I am concerned for your safety. And after seeing how Sean acted tonight, I don’t trust him if he stays at Vesperwood. ”

“He wasn’t hurting me,” Cory said slowly. “I just didn’t want him to—”

“Touch you. I know. You were telling him to stop, and he wasn’t going to.”

“I didn’t want him to kiss me,” Cory corrected in a rush. His breath frosted the air, and he shoved his hands deeper in his jacket pockets. “I didn’t want him to kiss me, okay? I didn’t want Sean fucking Donohue to be my first kiss.”

I blinked. “You’ve hooked up with him but you haven’t kissed him?”

Cory shot me an annoyed look. “Why is that so hard to believe?”

“I don’t know. I guess I assumed…” I trailed off when I realized what Cory had actually said.

He hadn’t just not kissed Sean. He hadn’t kissed anyone .

What kind of world did he live in, where sex was easier than kissing? Had he really never explored with a friend in high school? Never kissed someone at a school dance?

“ Now you think I’m pathetic,” Cory said.

“I don’t.”

I didn’t tell him that what I actually felt was sadness. I didn’t think that would make him feel any better.

When we got to my cabin, Cory walked straight into the kitchen and peered at the cactus again, as though checking for infinitesimal signs of growth. At least he had the sense to keep his hands to himself this time.

I watched for a moment, then said, “If you like it so much, you can have it.”

His head whipped around. “Really?”

I shrugged. “I can always get another one. You want it?”

He pressed his lips together, then shook his head. “No. I want answers.”

I didn’t like the sound of that. “Answers about what?”

“Everything. How did you find out you were an incubus? Did you know your whole life? Which of your parents was an incubus and which was human? Did you have weird dreams at first too? Did they ever stop? And how did you learn to control your powers? Did you come to Vesperwood, or did someone else—”

“Kid, kid. Calm down.”

Cory laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. I know enough by now to know you hate talking about yourself.”

I was quiet for a minute. He was right. I didn’t want to answer him. But he was a mess after what had happened with Sean, and he seemed so convinced I was disgusted with him. He deserved some answers. The ones that were safe to give, at least.

“No,” I said finally. “I didn’t know I was an incubus my whole life.

I was raised by my mom, and she had no idea.

It was my father who—” I broke off. Best not to go too far down that road.

“Suffice it to say, he found me right before I turned eighteen. Explained what I was. He was able to teach me how to control things, tell me what to expect.”

“That must have been helpful,” Cory said wistfully. “I wish I’d met him before all this started.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. Things had gone sour so quickly with my father. I regretted ever meeting him. He’d made me regret being born. But I wasn’t going to go into that now.

“My father had other traits that would make you think twice about that.”

“Couldn’t be worse than my dad,” Cory said darkly.

I wasn’t sure that was true, but saying that would only invite follow-up questions. Besides, there was a chance Cory’s father was my father.

“What was your mother like?” I asked.

“Don’t know.” Cory shrugged. “I never knew her.”

“What happened?”

“My dad said she left almost as soon as she had me.” His face contracted for a moment, like it wanted to crumple in grief, but he smoothed his features with effort. “He never let me forget that. Stuck with a kid he never wanted. A kid who disgusted him.”

“How could you disgust him when you were less than a year old?”

Cory snorted. “I’m pretty sure babies can be gross even if you do want them. But I mostly meant when I got older.”

“I guess it could be hard,” I said slowly. “Raising a kid you know isn’t yours. But that’s still no excuse for him to—”

“What?” Cory broke in. “What do you mean I wasn’t his?”

“I don’t mean that there’s anything wrong with that,” I said quickly. “But some guys can be assholes. They decide to take it out on the kid, the fact that they’re not blood related.”

“Uh, my dad and I were definitely blood related,” Cory said with a mirthless little laugh.

“Believe me, I wished over and over again we weren’t.

That my mom would come back, or some other guy would sweep in and tell me he was my real father.

But my dad and I looked way too much alike.

I would never really have believed it, even if someone told me he wasn’t my real dad. ”

I frowned. “But if you’re related to your dad, then that means—” I tilted my head to the side. “If your dad wasn’t an incubus—”

“Then my mom was,” Cory finished for me. “Yeah, I’ve thought it through. It has to be her. My dad was a terrible human being, but a human being, nonetheless.”

That put things in a different light. If I wasn’t related to Cory… Well, it still didn’t matter. I wasn’t going to do anything with him anyway. But it was…interesting.

“I’ve never heard of a female incubus reproducing with a human man,” I said slowly. “Hell, I’ve only heard of one male incubus reproducing with human women.”

Cory’s eyes widened. “Really? Wouldn’t that mean all half-human incubi are related?”

I nodded. “It would. It does.”

“Well, I guess that explains why Romero said we were so rare,” Cory said. “But I’m still pretty sure my dad is my biological parent. Everyone always said I had his eyes.”

“That would mean a female incubus had to take human form, conceive, and then stay in this world until she gave birth. That’s much more involved than—well, it would take a lot of effort. You’d have to be really motivated.”

“And yet my mom went off and left me anyway,” Cory said with a smile that wasn’t a smile at all. “I guess it wasn’t just my dad who sucked.”

“Wait a second. You keep talking about your dad in past tense. Did something happen to him?”

Stupid question. It was obvious something had.

“He died. When I was sixteen.”

“Oh,” I said, feeling stupid.

Cory didn’t say anything else. Now would be the time for him to elaborate, but he looked back at the cactus, like it were the most fascinating thing in the world.

“Well,” I said after another minute ticked by in silence. “If we’re going to do this, we’d better get started.”

It was an awkward transition, but Cory seemed grateful for it. He marched to the couch and lay down. I pulled my usual chair out from the table and sat across from him, watching.

“You think you can put yourself to sleep?” I asked.

“Maybe?” He didn’t sound sure.

“I’ll talk you through it again. In case it helps.”

I wouldn’t have been surprised if it took him extra time to fall asleep, after the incident in the showers, but he seemed to slide into it easily. I stared at him from across the room, determined not to go any closer.

The kid was stronger than I’d given him credit for.

His mom had left before he’d ever gotten to know her, and his dad hadn’t just been a bigot—he’d died before Cory had finished growing up.

I wondered idly if that was why Cory had been drawn to Sean.

Maybe some part of him thought he deserved to be treated like crap.

I’d never liked Sean, and now I had to figure out the fall-out from tonight’s encounter.

Cory didn’t want Sean expelled, but I had to do something to put the fear of God into that kid.

And frankly, I still wanted to tell Isaac.

I wanted a mark against Sean on his permanent record, in case he pulled this shit again.

I kind of let him be a little rough with me . My stomach clenched. How rough was rough?

Something Cory said during our last lesson resurfaced. That it wasn’t only what he wanted that bothered him, but how he wanted it. Did he like it when men pushed him around? Did he think that was what he deserved, after what his dad told him?

I thought about the snippet of Cory’s dream I’d seen in his last lesson.

It hadn’t looked rough or coercive, but I hadn’t seen all of it.

And Cory didn’t have full control of his powers yet.

He shouldn’t be forced into a dream he’d be uncomfortable with, but if he didn’t know what he was comfortable with…

Against my better judgement, I found myself moving to the couch again. His body was warm, and mine responded to his heat with tingling. Something in my core flared every time I was near him, a bolt of desire that never diminished.

God, I wanted him. But I had to be good.