Page 20 of Bonds of Magic (Vesperwood Academy: Incubus #3)

I still didn’t know why I’d been able to see inside his dream last time. To be honest, I’d tried not to think about it. Part of me thought I’d imagined it. Seen what I’d wanted to see, rather than what was there.

Because how likely was it, really, that I could see into the dream world through Cory? It didn’t make any sense. I couldn’t reach it on my own anymore. Why would I be able to see it through someone else?

But if I could see it, what did that mean?

Could I do anything with it? Did it help me at all? Help Isaac and me in our fight against Argus? Or would it just remind me of what I’d lost access to?

I’d thought I felt the dream world, that night I held Cory’s hand. But maybe it was like a phantom limb. A reminder of what I’d once had. Maybe it was better not to remember.

But still, I reached out for Cory. Not his hand this time. His cheek. I stretched my index finger out and stroked across his cheekbone, and in that instant, an insubstantial scene appeared in the middle of the cabin. Cory and a taller man were moving slowly towards a bed.

Something deep inside me ached. Some that came from touching the dream world again. It was barely there, like gauze in my fingertips, but it was real.

But most of the ache came from a deep need for release. It had been weeks since the last time I’d been with Lew. But I didn’t want Lew now. I didn’t want just any release.

I wanted what I couldn’t have.

Stop it , I scolded myself as Cory lay down on the bed in the dream vision in front of me. This is sick .

I traced my finger down his cheek to his lips, brushing lightly across them, but I made myself pull back after that. The scene in the middle of the room disappeared.

I’d promised Cory I wouldn’t watch him again, and I was going to keep that promise. But I couldn’t bring myself to leave his side. I wanted to kiss him. Wanted to cover his body with mine. Wanted to cry at the ache I felt inside.

My hand was still inches from his face when he opened his eyes. My heart stopped. I had no idea how long I’d been sitting there, unable to move. My breath caught as I looked into his glorious eyes, blue and luminous like misty mountains.

I knew I should stand up and walk away, but instead I brought my finger to his face again, feeling the heat of his skin on mine. All the words I longed to say piled up against my lips.

His eyes went wide. He brought a hand up to touch my finger where it lay on his cheek.

“Cory,” I breathed, intending for an explanation to follow. But I couldn’t think of one.

And before I could say anything at all, Cory sat up. He put one hand on my shoulder, the other on my chest. His fingers gripped the front of my shirt. He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine.

I froze, too stunned to react. His soft lips moved on mine tentatively, like he wasn’t sure of what he was doing. He wasn’t, I realized. This was his first kiss.

But I still couldn’t move, not until he made a frustrated little noise in the back of his throat and began to pull away. His fingertips slid down my shoulder and my body knew what it wanted, even if my brain didn’t.

I swept one arm around his back, pulling him closer, keeping him in the cradle of my body. The warmth of him pressed against me. My lips sought his, and when they met, mine parted and my tongue slid out, gently teasing him until he opened his mouth.

I ventured inside, not trying to pressure him, but desperate for more. His tongue met mine, darting forward, then back. I deepened the kiss, and he hummed low in his throat.

I wasn’t sure where his chest ended and mine began anymore. My fingers tightened on his waist, and his hand slid to my neck. I groaned, a broken half-sob that escaped my mouth and made a home in Cory’s. God, I’d wanted this for so long.

He hummed again and pushed forward, trying to merge into me. There was nothing I wanted more. His fingers slid down my chest, then to my stomach, then dipped lower, coming to rest on my cock, where it pressed up against my joggers.

I jerked back, wrenching my lips off of his. The taste of him still danced on my tongue. I exhaled, inhaled raggedly, and exhaled again like I’d been climbing a mountain.

Cory’s face was flushed and his lips, already plump, were red and wet. His chest heaved, and his eyes were filled with frustration and hope. I knew I’d made the right decision.

No matter how much I hated myself for it.

“I’m sorry.” My voice was gruff, more from desire than anger. But the anger was there—all directed at myself. “I shouldn’t have—I’m sorry. That was wrong.”

Cory tugged on my shirt. “But I—”

I stood up so suddenly my head spun. He fell back against the arm of the couch, staring at me.

“I shouldn’t have let that happen,” I said. “It was a mistake. It won’t happen again.”

“I didn’t—” Cory began, but my mind was reeling, too busy taking in the implications of everything I’d just done.

“Fuck, and after Sean tried to pressure you? What the fuck was I thinking?”

“It’s wrong to kiss me because Sean tried to do that earlier?”

“It’s wrong to kiss you regardless. But the Sean stuff doesn’t help. I took advantage of you when you were vulnerable.”

“I kissed you . You didn’t take advantage. And I didn’t do it because I was vulnerable.”

“You did it because you’re confused,” I said, running a hand over my face.

How could I have let it go so far? Cory was messed up. The last thing he needed was me making things worse. His dad had already made him think liking men was a problem. He didn’t need to add kissing me to the poisonous swirl of thoughts in his head.

“I’m not confused,” he said stoutly. He stood, glaring at me. “Give me some credit. I’m not a complete idiot. It’s fine if you don’t like me, but you don’t have to paint me as some helpless little victim who’s not responsible for his own actions.”

“Whether I like you or not has nothing to do with it.” I was so mad at myself, but I was beginning to get frustrated with him too. “I should never have gotten us into this situation. Letting you think that—”

“That you might actually care?” His voice thickened with disgust. “God, I am pathetic. I told you I didn’t want my first kiss to be with someone who despised me, and then I went and did it anyway.”

“I don’t despise you, Cory. But I’m your teacher. There are rules.”

“Those rules didn’t seem to bother you a minute ago,” he accused.

A new rush of guilt flooded my body. “I wasn’t thinking. But I shouldn’t have put us in a position where this could happen. That’s my fault, and I apologize. If you want to stop working together, I understand. I’ll talk to Isaac.”

“God, can you listen to me for a second? I don’t want you to talk to Dean Mansur, about this or anything. I want you to stop treating me like I’m a kid who needs to be protected from the big, bad world.”

“You are a kid.”

“I’m eighteen.”

“Close enough. I’m over a decade older than you. This can’t happen between us. Nothing can.”

I said it with more force than necessary, but it wasn’t only Cory I was trying to convince.

“My job is to help you gain control of your powers,” I continued. “I don’t want things to get complicated.”

“I’m not asking you to marry me. I’m asking you to admit that you kissed me back. And to not act like I’m some kind of leper.”

“I can’t do that.” I could see the rejection in Cory’s eyes. But I knew this was for the best. “I can’t be what you need.”

“You don’t know what I need.”

“I know you need someone to set boundaries. That’s what both of us need. I should never have let you think you owed me something in exchange for these lessons. I should never have touched you, should never have told you what I saw. I was caught off-guard, but that’s no excuse.”

“Say what you actually mean. You mean you should never have let me think there could be something between us. Should never have actually treated me like an equal for once.”

My heart ached, and I couldn’t figure out why. Nothing had happened between us. Almost nothing, anyway. The kiss had lasted less than a minute. So why had it turned my world upside down?

“I am treating you like an equal,” I said. “By respecting your personal space. Your privacy.”

“What if I don’t want you to respect it? What if I like the idea of you invading it?”

“Then you’re even younger than I thought.”

Cory had never felt what I’d felt. A grief so huge it threatened to drown him. Horrors so real they drove you out of your mind. He was innocent. And he should stay that way.

“You can’t get your hopes up about me,” I said heavily. “It will only hurt you in the end.”

He opened his mouth to object, but I shook my head.

“We’re not talking about this anymore. I’m taking you back to your room and that’s the end of it.”

“Can’t wait to get rid of me, can you?”

His voice dripped with contempt, and I didn’t know if it was for me, or for himself.

I can’t wait to be free of you , I answered inside my head, because being in the same room as you makes me want to explode. Because I can’t trust myself around you.

Getting Cory back to the manor would help. A little. But it wouldn’t solve the problem. Now that I’d tasted his lips, felt his hands on my body, I would never be free of him.

I turned and headed for the door.

“Come on. It’s time to go.”