Page 20 of Bloom

Jaime listened as it was poured out. When Aleric described what the lord had done to him, it was in a rather bare, bland way, as if the facts happened to someone else a long time ago, and he was merely relaying the story.

Somehow, it showed the pain more than anything. He wouldn’t even look at Jaime.

“I finally went to speak to him. I told Zacharie what happened and why he needed to stop seeing Gautier. I figured it would happen to him too, and I wanted to protect him.” Aleric tugged his coat cuffs down as if trying to hide his wrists even though there was nothing to see anymore. “He said I was jealous and accused me of having a crush on Gautier.”

“A crush? Are you serious?”

“Mhm. According to him, I hadn’t acted on my feelings, and since Zacharie had gotten to him first, I was pissed. I was jealous and trying to take away something that was all his. He said I already have the position of future lord, and why can’t he have one thing? If Gautier had beaten me, why hadn’t I said anything? I tried to explain why and convince him, and the real insults started. Selfish, liar, pig. You can guess.”

Jaime’s chest pinched. After so many years, Aleric had finally admitted the truth in an attempt to protect his brother only to be treated like pure shit and called a liar.

“I should have immediately gone to Father. Instead, I went to my rooms and tried to calm down because I wanted to go to Father with a more level head.”

“Zacharie told him first.”

“Yes. He twisted everything I said. By the time I went to Father, he thought I’d tried to break them up out of jealousy, and he didn’t believe I’d been with Gautier for two years. He also didn’t believe I’d been beaten because ‘Alex wouldn’t harm a fly.’ He was furious and called me a liar.”

Jaime couldn’t imagine the shame Aleric had felt while his Father said those hurtful words.

“Zacharie made it sound like I’m jealous, and Father doesn’t believe that his best friend would do anything. He thinks I picked something horrible but not the worst thing ever to paint him badly. He asked if I’d tried to get with Gautier only to be refused. Of course, Alex would be too nice to admit he’d rejected me if so. I have no evidence or proof that anything happened, and the marks were long gone. Even the little white scars had faded. I have a tiny one on my hip if the light is just right, but it could be from anything.”

For fuck’s sake. Jaime couldn’t imagine trying to protect a sibling only to have it all go entirely wrong.

“I know I’m not the same as I was years ago, but I didn’t think he’d call me a liar. I should have said something when I had blatant proof, but…” Aleric leaned on the arm of the couch with his legs drawn up and rubbed his forehead. “I think Zacharie’s more pliable than me. He’s a brat, but with someone he loves, he’ll probably do whatever they say, and Gautier’s had time to think about how to work this. That’s his last chance to be a lord. Even if Zacharie said no in the middle of sex, he’d probably be safe. You can’t beat your last chance bloody. Who knows, maybe Gautier’s stamina is finally wearing down, and he doesn’t care to have sex so much.”

“Do you think Zacharie was a virgin when they started?”

“I’m not sure, but I suspect he was. A virgin is likely to fall harder for their first love. They have nothing to compare it to.”

Jaime nodded. They might when the first love knows what to say and how to keep them hooked.

A lot made sense while he sat there and told himself a few times to keep his ass on the couch. He couldn’t find Gautier to beat the shit out of him.

The insistence that Aleric didn’t bottom. His refusal to do foreplay or anything that might seem intimate. Everything he did made complete sense. He couldn’t bring himself to trust another man with his body and feelings. He'd finally admitted everything which was a big step, but not enough.

Worse, there had been times he’d moved away or shifted his positioning. In the back of his mind, he was afraid Jaime would grow violent. The morning when Jaime had jumped off the couch after being startled from his nightmare, he’d seen genuine fear in Aleric’s eyes. He’d expected a hand to the throat or a slug. His nasty attitude and words were a form of defense, but he was still afraid of the other snapping.

Any man could. Why not? The man who’d said he loved him and even mentioned future children had left him tied and bloody on his bedroom floor. The image enraged Jaime so much, he had to grip the arm of the couch to keep himself down.

That was why he’d threatened to kill Jaime if he ever grew forceful or violent. Plenty of relationships and marriages were fine with neither party abusing the other. In Aleric’s mind, Jaime was going to treat him like a hole and beat him if he said no.

Jaime was sure Aleric had heard of other abusive relationships. That wouldn’t help his mindset. It wasn’t just him who had suffered, and there was always a chance of finding a darker side to someone.

Gautier had also used their submissive and dominant relationship. Ignoring a safety word could obliterate a submissive’s trust. No matter what was happening, a word or signal had to be honored. Any man who ignores it is not a man to be trusted.

“I think the only reason he didn’t rape me was because he might have injured me to the point where I wouldn’t have had a choice but to go to the physician,” said Aleric. “That wouldn’t be an injury anyone could explain away, and I might have broken down and gone to Father even if Olivier kept his mouth shut. I think he knew I’d be too ashamed to say anything about the beating, and if I did, he could have denied it and tried to make it seem like I’d picked a bad lover for a one-night stand gone wrong. That’s why he hid our relationship.”

“Why wait so long?”

“To see if I stayed compliant and how I’d act after the initial phase is over. Also, since I’m the oldest and only living child out of three from Pearl, Father might feel more protective of me, so he couldn't rape me or do serious harm that would be obvious.”

“But he’s not fully protecting you.”

Aleric turned more toward him. “From what you’ve seen and know. Outside of that, Father has been a little harder and a bit more protective of me as a teenager. It’s not the same with Zacharie. He’s not supposed to be lord, and he often got his way more by nagging. Father let it happen because deep down, he likely blames himself. He sought companionship with Honoré because he was lonely, planned a baby with him, and he died in childbirth. Father’s never had a relationship since, and if Zacharie cried as a little boy because he didn’t want to go to bed, or wanted another sweet, I could tell it made Father feel guilty.”

“Wouldn’t he feel more protective of the youngest and tell him no?”

“Not necessarily. Father doesn’t like me going outside at night by myself, and he has a point. He never wanted me to go into the city alone during the day before. He’s finally eased a bit, and he did for Zacharie too.”

The oldest had survived to adulthood and fought for independence. The other wasn’t too far behind, so Lord Monet had finally stepped back a little. Even though he hadn’t been too happy about Zacharie picking a man old enough to be his parent, he’d decided to keep his mouth shut and let him navigate the relationship on his own. After all, it was a family friend.

With Aleric having just turned eighteen, he might not have been too inclined to let go.

“You mentioned something about him telling you not to stay up late at eighteen?”

“Yes. Like I didn't know I need sleep. He hasn’t done that in years. It’s not as if I’ll go to bed just because he says so. Anyway, I was the failure because I’ll stand my ground over certain things even after I’ve been slammed into a wall. That morning in the tower didn’t completely break my will. I not only refused to do his kink, I sexually denied him, something I’d never done before. He had two choices. Stay with me and possibly put up with things he doesn’t like, or try to break me in a new way, end everything, and look to the other brother once he was old enough.”

Jaime had met a few men like that, and he’d never liked them. Of course, they couldn’t always beat the other and risk arrest. They’d talk about another who didn’t want to sleep with them or do something, and they used disparaging terms. If a man or woman said no, they seemed to take it as quite personal. That sort had always made Jaime uneasy.

His blood was absolutely boiling because not only had Gautier abused him, he’d picked a fragile moment. Abuse is always bad, but Jaime was pretty sure it was a lot worse when the victim is naked, vulnerable, and in the middle of activities they wouldn’t do with anyone else. Anytime a submissive agrees to anything, they’re putting full trust in the dominant to do whatever they’ve agreed on without true harm or injury. They expect to be safe, and after two years, Aleric had fully settled into trusting his dominant.

Ignoring their safeword was like taking the trust and not only breaking it but stomping and spitting on the remains.

Aleric’s sense of safety and trust had been shattered when Gautier had left him naked and tied on the floor. He wouldn’t even allow physical intimacy despite going to a whorehouse to have sexual interaction with others.

“You probably don’t even believe me,” said Aleric. “If you’re going to leave, just do it. Don’t waste time berating me.”

“I just sat here and listened to everything.”

“So? I don’t know what you’re thinking.”

“I’m not thinking you’re a liar.”

Aleric looked away.

Damn it. Mostly everything would be scrutinized now, and the past few weeks together meant little. Aleric had let him stay, and he’d been more pleasant. That didn’t mean much because they hadn’t grown closer.

If this was going to work, they’d have to go slow. Jaime stood so he could kneel at Aleric’s end of the couch and try to be smaller.

“I meant what I said earlier about us trying. I know you’re not going to believe anything you can’t see for yourself, and words won’t mean much, but if we give it time and try-”

Aleric still refused to look at him. “Am I the abundant male trophy that you’ve always wanted to breed?”

“No.”

“I seem to remember someone saying they’d only marry an abundant male,” Aleric said dryly. “Lucky you, impregnating one on your first try.”

“You’re not a trophy. No abundant male is. I’ve always wanted kids. I don’t want a consort, and that’s not changing. I wasn’t hoping to breed you. I’m not trying to get into your bed now so I have a thing to screw or beat. You’re carrying my baby, and even though he or she wasn’t planned, we could give the baby a good life, be parents, and grow close. This doesn’t have to be doomed to fail. I’ll take care of you through pregnancy and afterward. I’m not going to be one of those Fathers who leaves the nappies and every little thing to the other parent. I’m not going to snore away while you’re up every two hours to feed the baby and half-dead from lack of sleep. We don’t have to have sex either. I’ll sleep on the couch, and you can have your bedroom entirely to yourself.”

Aleric finally looked at him. “We’re going to have a sexless marriage, and you’re okay with that?”

Not exactly, but Jaime wasn’t sure how to word it without sounding like an ass who was counting the seconds until he could put his dick in a tight hole. If Aleric learned to trust him and wasn’t afraid Jaime was going to flip one day…it seemed kind of inevitable he would eventually want more. It was clear he still had desire like most men.

“I figured you might decide to try it again because you probably won’t like a sexless marriage yourself. It’s your choice, and you can decide on it later.” Shit. Aleric might think there was a time limit, and he better allow sex by a certain point or risk another beat-down. “There’s no time limit. You’re the one in control of things. I’m not leaving you to cope with a baby alone, and I’m certainly not leaving you with that prick living here.” Jaime practically spat out the last part.

“Mm.”

It wasn’t a yes. It also wasn’t a no. Jaime dared to reach up and take his hand. Aleric didn’t pull away, although it was like holding a limp fish. Maybe that was a good sign. If he truly hated Jaime’s guts, he’d pull away, right? Gautier might have abused him, but he hadn’t beaten out all of the fight.

“You didn’t deserve anything he did to you, and you don’t have to deal with everything alone. I don’t think you’re lying, and you can tell me anything later. If you do decide for us to have any kind of sexual contact, you can also say no or stop it at any time. I want you to feel safe.”

“Why are you acting like this?”

“Uh…is this a trick question?”

“Father didn’t believe me. You should be focusing on the part where I slept with Gautier for two years and questioning everything I’ve told you because maybe I am just a jealous whore who doesn’t like my little brother getting with the attractive, older man.

Jaime looked away, not wanting to say it.

“Well? I can’t read your damn thoughts.”

Jaime finally looked back at him. “Your Father’s not seeing what I see. Obviously, he's never seen you or dealt with you in any kind of sexual situation. I have. You don’t act jealous or like a whore. You act like a man who lost all of his trust because he was burned so badly, he didn’t know who to turn to, so he’s packed it all down and would rather lash out first so he doesn’t get burned again. You trust Clementine. You didn’t even tell her, and you’ve been stuck shouldering this load that’s affected your entire life and might even end it if that dickhead manages to off you. Your Father doesn’t get that, and when there are small signs, he misses them. If you backed away from me or any man, he’d think you’re just moving. I’ve seen things that he hasn’t, and after what you told me, it makes sense. Just because I grew up as a village boy doesn’t mean I’m stupid and blind.”

Aleric stared at him. Maybe he hadn’t quite realized what kind of image he’d present to a new person who was around a lot and also willing to listen. With their father-and-son relationship, it was probably easy for Lord Monet to think he already knew Aleric. So easy, he’d make wrong assumptions and think himself right. It’s easier to do so with family. They get comfortable and used to certain things.

“I didn’t notice everything either, or I thought the wrong thing before. I do now.”

Aleric finally shifted his gaze and didn’t seem to know what to do or say.

“Is there anything else you want to tell me?”

“No.”

Maybe a break and a shift in topic would be good for them both. “Can we focus on a couple of baby-related things for the moment?”

“There’s not much to do. It’s barely a speck.”

Jaime remained crouched. He’d better start thinking about a lot of things he did. Even if Aleric didn’t move away, say anything, or act a certain way, the potential threats of something likely lurked in the back of his mind. Jaime was a lot bigger, and a simple action might say the wrong thing.

“You fainted on the stairs that morning,” he said. “You were off your food, and if you faint again, you might not just crumple on the landing. You could fall and seriously hurt yourself.”

Aleric scratched the back of his head. “She said some symptoms happen before the cramps. A lot of stuff is about to be going on in my body. Actually, things are happening right now even though they’re not noticeable, and feeling faint is one. She said my not eating much likely worsened it, and a lack of appetite sometimes happens early on. Not everyone experiences the same thing either.”

“Shouldn’t your body be telling you to eat so the baby can grow? You need bigger meals three times a day and snacks too.”

Aleric rolled his eyes. “You can’t see it yet. It’s not like a…born baby. Whatever it needs to take from my body to grow isn’t a big deal now. I don’t need to start packing my face all day.”

Logic said he didn’t need to start eating a lot. Then again, Jaime probably had certain things wrong. He couldn’t even remember a single thing Mother ate while pregnant because at seven, he hadn’t thought about the logistics of pregnancy at all. All he knew was that the baby needed sustenance, so the one carrying it had to eat more. “I got a book from the library so I can learn about abundant males when they’re pregnant. Erm, I figured I’d take advantage of your library in case I get married later, and then you came in and told me you were pregnant...I wasn’t expecting this to say the least.”

Aleric shot him a faintly disbelieving look. Jaime had shoved the book between the cushions earlier, and he didn’t feel like digging it out.

“I’m supposed to rest if I’m tired, get enough sleep, and drink water. I can continue my daily activities for the most part. She advises I stop alcohol entirely or at least cut down and be entirely off it within a week or two. She doesn’t think alcohol is healthy for a baby, and it doesn’t matter what kind.”

Jaime had heard of that. Supposedly, the baby got a bit of everything the parent had, and that went for alcohol too. Drinking while pregnant made the baby drunk, and if one wouldn’t give a newborn a mug of ale, why pass it to them in the uterus?

Not everyone believed the baby could get drunk before being born.

“I think it makes sense,” continued Aleric. “It’ll get energy from the food I eat, hydration from water, and drunk from any alcohol I consume. My Mother refused alcohol too, and a lack of it certainly isn’t harmful to anyone. And since I’m not going to lunch, the baby will be fine with one skipped meal, and I’ll get something later.”

“Uh, why are you skipping lunch? Do you feel sick?”

“I’m tired,” snapped Aleric. “I just spent ages telling you…things, and I have to tell Father later. I’m tired, I don’t feel well, and I don’t have the energy to go down to the Hall and act normal.”

“I’ll go downstairs and get us a plate,” Jaime said hurriedly. “It’s almost lunch. If you ever want anything, tell me.”

Aleric stood. “I’m sure you feel like running around for me now.”

“I want to eat too, and if you want anything, just tell me, and I will go get it for you. I don’t care what it is. Haven’t I gotten you food before?”

Aleric paused. “Yeah.”

“If you wait too long to eat or skip meals, that’s not going to make you feel better. Even if you don’t like me, it’s my job to take care of you and make sure you have anything you need.”

Aleric didn’t look convinced. He probably expected Jaime to forget that declaration in two minutes, bitch at him, and tell him to fetch his own food.

“I want ginger with my meal.”

***

Aleric appeared surprised by the pile of pickled ginger on his plate.

Jaime had meant it when he said he’d get anything Aleric needed or wanted. His future husband might insist on a divorce later and make him go live in the city, but in the meantime, he’d take care of Aleric the best he could. That was what a man and Father should do.

Aleric picked at the chicken, polished off the ginger, ate the cinnamon-buttered bread, and ignored the rest.

Jaime finished his food and leaned over since Aleric hadn’t eaten a lot. “What do you want?”

“What?”

“What do you want to eat?”

“I just ate.”

“Not a lot. I’ll tell the servants to make it. If savory stuff isn’t appetizing, I’ll bring you whatever you want even if you just nibble on it during the afternoon.”

The suspicious expression returned. “You’re going to go all of the way downstairs again?”

“For you, yes.”

“Fine. I want bread with norben, not butter. No cinnamon.”

Jaime returned with a plate to find Lord Monet in the sitting room.

“What on Ymir’s dirt is that?” He eyed the plate loaded with bread. Jaime had smeared the buttery spread on himself.

“I-I had a hankering for bread,” said Jaime. “With norben.”

Lord Monet glanced at the two plates on the table in front of the couch. “You just had lunch.”

“I know, but I really wanted some bread. Aleric will help me eat it.”

Lord Monet raised an eyebrow at Jaime’s sudden longing for bread and turned to his son. “Why weren’t you downstairs? Are you sick? You didn’t eat much, so I don’t see why you’re going to gorge on bread with Jaime.”

“It tasted funny, and my stomach’s been upset. The bread will be easier.”

“Do you want me to send for a physician from the city?”

“No. I’m sure my stomach will be fine. I’ve got a little peppermint tincture in the privy room if I need it.”

“If you change your mind. Let me know. Or send Jaime to tell me.”

“Thanks, Father.”

Jaime handed him the plate once Lord Monet left.

“This is a bit excessive,” said Aleric. “Eight slices of bread? Are you trying to make me fat? I just told you I don’t need to stuff my face all day. It’s not like I’m ravenous and wasting away.”

“What if you get hungry after two? You can nibble all afternoon, and if you don’t like dinner, I’ll get you more food if you want. It’s not to make you fat. But I imagine you will be quite cute once your belly’s bigger.”

“You’ll probably be revolted by me and think I’m a cow.”

“No, I won’t.”

“Whatever. There is something else you can do for me.”

“What?”

Aleric stood. “Leave me alone all afternoon. Go to the library or do whatever.”

Or take the opportunity to grab his stuff and tiptoe out. Aleric probably expected him to run for it.

“I barely slept last night, and I have to think about how I’m going to tell Father that he has another reason to be disappointed in me,” finished Aleric.

“He shouldn’t be disappointed in you.”

“You weren’t even here for a full twenty-four hours before you got me up the stick.”

“So that means if you fully trust me later once this one is toddling around and getting into things, I could probably stick another baby in there pretty fast and have you up the stick again. Only if you want, I mean.”

“We’re not even married yet, and I already want to divorce you.”

“Can we try to make this work and not be mean? Another kid is not an obligation. I was just saying. A hypothetical situation.” It’d likely be a bad idea to mention that Jaime had always hoped for more than one kid.

Aleric made a face at him before he took the whole plate with him to his bedroom and closed the door. He hadn’t said no. If allowed later, Jaime would happily put another baby in his belly.

He sat on the couch and frowned. He’d always imagined that if he married an abundant male, his future husband would be excited to tell him he was with child, and Jaime would absolutely lavish him with affection. He wanted to go into the bedroom, cuddle Aleric, rub his stomach, and try to make him feel secure even if it was only for a few minutes.

Oh well. A lot of things hadn’t gone the way he’d imagined before.

***

The book infuriated Jaime.

The first chapter on the basics of their biology was all right since it was just facts laid out.

The second gave tips on how to conceive. Some couples appeared to be healthy overall with no issues and still took years to conceive. If an abundant male didn’t use their heat, they had a smaller chance, but it was still possible.

Certain herbs might work. Jaime scanned through the list of foods and herbs that might help a couple to conceive. He didn’t need to know since he and Aleric were past that point.

Reading about the first trimester in deep detail, Jaime's irritation started going up. Early pregnancy could make men weepy and moody, much like a woman. Also, like a woman, it could tend to make them manipulative. They might start asking their husband to do things they wouldn’t normally request. If the other spouse let them get away with it, they’d probably be worse next pregnancy.

Jaime glared at the page. What the fuck?

They might also complain about being tired, and while they did need a little rest, they shouldn’t have too much. Since having a baby and caring for it would be a lot more tiring later, it was best to avoid constantly doing things for them.

The abundant male wasn’t helpless and should be going about his life normally as much as possible for as long as possible. Too much rest could cause other issues and worsen certain symptoms later on.

If they focused on living normally, they’d likely have fewer mood swings. The other husband should also be conserving his patience and energy for later since there might be certain things a male in the last three months couldn’t do. The baby would be quite big by then, and it would hinder their mobility.

Jaime stared at the page with his mouth partially open.

“You literally sat in your house or whatever, treated your pregnant husband like garbage, and wrote this shit?” he muttered.

Aleric certainly hadn’t been in the best of moods, but he had a real reason since he’d been coping with trauma for years. He’d even put a bit of effort into not lashing out quite as much during the past month, until that morning. Finding out he was pregnant had rocked things quite a bit.

He was going through a massive change, didn’t feel safe, and was dealing with the man who’d assaulted and dumped him once he realized Aleric might not be quite so pliable. Even if he didn’t have the outside issues, how could Jaime expect him to be entirely the same? His body was still going through a shift that he’d never be able to experience himself. Aleric had eight months left to grow a whole fairy being. Afterward, he’d have to push it out.

If anything, Aleric needed to conserve his energy since his body would be going through a lot more as time went on. Making a whole fairy being couldn’t be easy. If pregnancy did make him moody or weepy, how was Jaime supposed to ignore him or pretend his feelings didn’t matter? Especially when it was his baby Aleric had to lug around in his body.

He continued reading in the hopes it would get better. Except in cases of pain or bleeding, sex is typically fine during pregnancy. Kink could be all right, but that varied, and the reader should seek another book if they wanted more information on what was safe.

The couple should engage in sex and enjoy it while they can because the belly could get quite big and in the way during certain positions later. Also, the husband might not feel as attracted later with the other being larger the closer they got to birth.

Jaime nearly threw the book across the room. Of course, Aleric or anyone growing a baby would be bigger after a while. That didn’t mean he’d be unattractive, and if the other husband thought so, that was his damn problem.

The pregnant husband should eat more to ensure the baby grew, but not too much. A lot of food would make him too fat, and they’d be less attractive earlier. It also wasn’t healthy to eat after seven at night because most food consumed after that time made a person fat so the husband should try to convince his pregnant spouse to not eat after that time.

Jaime didn’t see how that was true. The whole thing was beyond wrong anyway. It wasn’t Aleric’s job to stay as slim as possible so he’d be more appealing to Jaime’s gaze. He had a kid to grow, and if he was hungry after seven in the evening, he better eat, not go to bed with hunger pangs so Jaime could look at him and get hard.

Besides, how could a man look at the other who was carrying his child and not be aroused by him?

By the time it was nearly time for dinner, he couldn’t take it anymore. The whole book had turned into a list of things not to do in his mind. He started skimming. After the birth part, he saw a line about staying on top of the abundant male concerning their eating habits. They needed enough food to create milk, but again, too much could fatten them up. Some men had no problem keeping their weight down while nursing the baby. Others did. If not, the other husband might have to imagine them as thinner during intimacy.

Aleric came out just as Jaime threw the book across the room. “Fucking useless pile of shit! This guy is pure rubbish.”

Aleric glanced at the book lying in a sad pile by the wall with some of its pages bent as he edged around the couch. “Did your favorite character die?”

Jaime took a deep breath and tried to stuff his anger down. “No. It’s a pile of shit opinions written by a shit man. I feel sorry for the abundant male he married. He’s probably miserable, and I bet he’s checking himself in a looking glass right now and thinking he’s fat while his kids scream and run around the house. I bet the writer of the slop right there doesn’t do anything and leaves everything to his husband. The husband likely hounds him if he sees him eating an extra bean, or if he dares to say he’s tired. Because boo fucking hoo. How dare he be tired or ask for anything, right?”

Aleric scrunched his eyebrows together. “I'm not quite following this.”

Jaime stood and marched over to the book. “Nobody should ever read this again. The last thing some young guy needs is to read this crap and end up brainwashed.”

“Uh, Jaime…”

The book landed in the fireplace.

“What-”

Jaime drew his sword.

“-are you doing?”

The handle grew warm under his grip, although the leather wrapping was fine, and fire blossomed around the blade. “I’m burning it because that’s what you do with rubbish, and no man should be taking advice from this book.”

“What the fuck were you reading?”

“It’s for husbands of abundant males. I thought it was going to teach me stuff so I can take care of you.”

“Okay, but the librarian is going to ask where’s the book you checked out, and if you say you burned it-”

“He can suck my dick.”

Jaime jabbed the tip of the flaming sword at the book which had caught. Once it was burning well, he let the fire go out from his sword, sheathed it, and tossed in a couple of logs and kindling. After a few good stabs with the poker to get the kindling lit, he was satisfied. Hopefully, the book would be pure ash soon.

“It couldn’t have been that bad,” said Aleric.

“If you’d read it, you’d see why it’s bad. I don’t care if you want me to fetch things downstairs or whatever, I’ll do it. You’re to rest as much as you want and eat whatever you like, okay? I don’t care if you get bloated, and I’m not going to fantasize about a skinnier version of you.”

Aleric’s expression was priceless. “Why are you telling me this?”

Because Jaime wanted to take care of him. Even though they weren’t in love, and they hadn’t been planning anything, he didn’t know how to suppress the urge. Maybe he was one of those guys who is simply meant to be a Father. He hadn’t expected the urge to happen so fast, but there it was. Shouldn't all men want to take care of their husbands or future husbands especially when they’re pregnant?

His Father had doted on Mother when she was pregnant.

Aleric was still watching him. “Listen, I guess I’m not one of those men who think they need the whole pregnancy to get used to the idea of a kid coming. The other has to get used to it right away and deal with everything from day one. That never made sense to me anyway. Why would I need so long anyway? The baby doesn’t only exist after someone pushes it out.”

“Okay…”

“I should be caring for you the best I can because no matter what I do, you’re going to be dealing with the problems that come with pregnancy, including giving birth which I’m sure is quite painful. I can’t shoulder everything for you, but there are things I can shoulder, and it’s not my place to keep you skinny or to ignore you because of-whatever. I guess it’s just how I was raised.”

Uncle had slid into the parental spot pretty easily when Jaime first came. As for his Father, instead of letting Mother do everything, like some parents, he’d also been a proper parent. It hadn’t always been Mother bathing, dressing, and putting Jaime to bed or getting him up and ready in the morning. She hadn’t always been stuck watching him. There had been no nanny, and Jaime was pretty sure Father hadn’t been afraid of changing his nappies as a baby.

Aleric paused. “And the book?”

“It was written by an asshole who acts like a pregnant abundant male is a thing to deal with. He thinks they’re like women in some ways who get all weepy and manipulative. You can tell he looks down on women too with that attitude, and all he cares about is putting his dick into a body that still looks young and thin. He’d probably get along great with Gautier. I’m sick of it, and nobody needs to read that nonsense.”

“Fine.” Aleric started for the door. “Be more careful with what you take from the library so you don’t have to burn more books. I don't need the librarian shuffling around to see where missing works have disappeared to.”

Jaime straightened his coat, followed him into the hall, and put out his arm once Aleric locked the door. “Here.”

“What?”

“Do you want to take my arm? To keep you steady?”

“I’m pregnant, not deathly ill and incapable of walking.”

“I don’t know if you’re going to get dizzy on the stairs again-”

“I ate, and it’s not necessarily something that will happen every damn day. Besides, people are going to wonder why I’m hanging onto you like I'm helpless. We do have to announce it, but not right this second.”

“Oh.” Of course, he wasn’t going to blurt out that he was pregnant at dinner. “If you do need it, tell me. Fuck what everyone else thinks.”

Jaime had to keep himself from clenching his fists or showing any anger when they entered the Hall. Gautier was at a round table with Zacharie and other courtiers. Looking at his face was even harder.

Seeing him there, smiling and talking with another courtier while completely uncaring that he’d beaten Aleric, infuriated Jaime. He was absolute scum and needed to be dangling from a noose. Even better, he needed a beat down in the Hall. See how he liked it. Except Jaime knew if he got started, he wouldn’t stop until Gautier’s face was smashed into a pulp and completely unrecognizable.

It wasn’t fair that Aleric had to come down to meals every single day and see his abuser sitting with his brother all clueless and in love.