Page 18 of Bloom

Every fiber of Aleric's being was telling him this was going to turn out bad. Jaime was going to think he owned Aleric now, and he’d be trying to get up his ass by tonight. Why not fuck his husband-to-be? It wasn’t like they had to worry about pregnancy anymore.

When Aleric said no, and Jaime realized he wasn’t going to be up to his ears with sex anytime he wanted…Aleric might have to deal with worse than a verbal argument.

He hadn’t expected the sudden worry, as if Aleric’s well-being along with the baby was the only thing on Jaime’s mind. Like not a single other thing mattered. Maybe he wouldn’t turn right away.

It would just take longer.

Jaime approached to take his hand, and Aleric looked away. He needed Jaime because he’d be more vulnerable now, and the one protecting might have more power. He could hang it over Aleric’s head later. There were so many things that could go wrong in their relationship, and he couldn’t go through anything like that one night again. It might not even take two years.

“Come here.” Jaime tugged on his hand, and Aleric grudgingly let him lead him to the couch. Jaime sat and took his other hand.

It was odd that he was sitting and making him stand like Jaime was trying to be smaller. It was almost as if he was trying to be the subordinate.

“Can we talk without yelling or snapping?”

“Mhm.” There was something about this Aleric didn’t like. Men such as Jaime didn’t enjoy being the subordinate. Even on his knees the first night, he’d taken control, and it didn’t matter that he hadn’t said anything dirty or sexual to Aleric in the last month.

“If you can’t stand my guts in a few years and want to divorce me, fine. We can decide on how to raise the child then. In the meantime, how about if we actually try to get along better? We’re going to have to act like husband and husband, and that means showing affection in public. We don’t have to make out in the middle of the Hall at dinner, but if we look like we enjoy each other and our company, we’ll appear more united. Gautier lost an ally. You’ve gained one. Poking a husband with his spouse and child on the line can be like poking a bear. After a while, we might be happy together.”

“Mm,” Aleric hummed again. Like fuck he was going to get all lovey-dovey with this guy. He might as well forget the slippery slope and throw himself off the cliff of no return instead. He’d rather divorce Jaime in a couple of years once the main problem was solved. For now, they could do the bare minimum. He doubted Gautier would stop just because Aleric had an heir and a husband. “Fine. We’ll act for a while.”

“But what if we weren’t acting? My parents were happy together.”

“I’m sure you’ll be happy with me. Happy that you have a hole to fuck.”

Hurt flashed in Jaime’s eyes. “That’s not what I meant.”

Aleric tugged his hands away, ready to be done. “Whatever.”

“You’re not a hole, and-”

“I don’t even know what you’ll be like in a few years,” Aleric burst out. “You might hate me and feel like I’ve trapped you in C?te. If not, you’re going to think you own me and can fuck me, or do whatever you want to me whenever you want.” The idea was making his stomach twist, and it was even worse with the minor cramps in his uterus. “Even if you don’t care to move up, I’m sure being the Earl later will be the sugar icing.”

“Just because you’re my husband doesn’t mean I own your ass. Or your mouth. That’s not how sex and marriage work. Your body is yours.”

Until someone bigger decided to take that control away.

“If you say no, I’m not going to ignore you,” added Jaime.

Bullshit. Plenty of men were nice for a while. The husband or wife would later have a black eye or hidden bruises.

“That’s disgusting, and I don’t get off on harming others.”

More shit. A man could turn in an instant, and Aleric wasn’t going through that again. “You don’t have to get off on it! You just have to be pissed enough at me. I don’t want to have to stand here and listen to this bullshit like we’re going to be happy five or ten years from now.”

“It’s not bullshit! Maybe we'll be quite happy in a few years.”

How Aleric wanted to believe him and get back the thing he’d thought he’d had once. “You can say anything right here, and do whatever later. You’ll know you can get away with it then too because nobody listens to me now! You know damn well if I go to Father in a few years and say you’re abusing me, he won’t listen. He didn't believe me before either, and I’m not-I can’t-” He didn’t even know how to describe the horror of completely trusting someone only to be overpowered.

Jaime’s face pinched. “You said-”

Aleric stepped back. “Except I’ll kill you if you ever lay a hand on me. It won’t matter if anyone listens to me or not. You’re not trapping me.”

He was never going to take that from someone he was married to and stuck with. The first lesson had taught him nothing. The second had drawn blood and made itself impossible to ignore or forget.

He’d rather hang for murder than remain with a man who beat him or shoved him into the wall and choked him. If they were married, it could happen over and over again, leaving him alone in a cycle of abuse. His stomach tensed enough to make him feel sick when Jaime suddenly stood.

Aleric had just threatened to kill him. Not all men need long before they show their true colors, and he suddenly didn’t know whether to run or draw his sword. His limbs froze before Jaime wrapped him in a crushing hug, and his thoughts stuttered. Why would he hug anyone who’d just threatened him?

“You told me nobody touched you,” Jaime said against his hair.

“I never said that. You don’t have to rape someone to hurt them.” Aleric almost wanted to shake him for being so blockheaded and forward enough to grab him even though it wasn’t sexual.

For a moment, it also felt damn good to simply be squeezed. It was like having someone who cared. It was what he’d wanted when he'd told Father the truth.

“Then what happened?”

“Nothing.” It was the first word that came to Aleric’s mind, and the first one to slide out as he pushed on Jaime’s chest. “Leave me alone.”

Jaime drew back enough to look at him and take his shoulders, although not too hard. It was still enough to make Aleric afraid of what would happen if he tried to pull away entirely.

“Stop and talk to me for a minute. I had a slight feeling there was something you weren’t telling me in the stable that day. I didn’t think it’d be-can you look at me?”

No. Aleric had run his damn mouth like a fool. Except…maybe if told the truth, Jaime would think him a liar too, and he’d finally go. Alone was easier.

“Something happened because you act like I’m going to start beating you after a while. I can see if you simply don’t like me that much or don’t have any real feelings, and you just found out you're pregnant. It’s not normal that you’re threatening to kill me if I touch you later. Most people don’t automatically think ahead to what if their spouse turns out to be abusive. You're acting like I definitely am, it’s only a matter of time, and nobody is going to believe you.”

Because any man could pretend to love another wholeheartedly and turn quite swiftly. Kind words one day, and a hand around the throat the next. If that was how some men loved, Aleric didn’t want anything to do with it, and he wasn’t going to take the risk of trying to figure out what kind was in front of him when the consequences would be painful.

Jaime was already the type to do what he wanted a lot.

“I don’t know what you’ve experienced before, but...” Jaime dropped to his knees and took his waist. “I’d never abuse you, and you’re the Father of my child now…” He planted a light kiss on Aleric’s stomach through his shirt. “Do you want me to do something to prove myself? Is that what you need?”

He wasn’t supposed to do that to the accident child he’d known about for less than an hour. What if Zacharie blabbed to Jaime? Why hadn’t Aleric thought of it before? Of course, he would if he learned Jaime was marrying his older brother. He’d do it to be spiteful, or Gautier would tell him to do it.

He’d say what happened from his point of view and tell Jaime that he felt sorry for him since he was stuck with Aleric , the selfish, jealous, pig who’d wanted to take away what was Zacharie’s and made up horrid lies.

Aleric jerked back out of Jaime’s grasp. “Gautier and I were lovers for two years, and we had a dominant and submissive type of relationship. I wanted to stop one night when he had me tied up and…When he couldn’t fuck me anymore, he waited until Zacharie was old enough. The other heir is good enough if I’m out of the way. He beat me once, but I didn’t say anything for years. I was too scared.”

Jaime, still on his knees, stared at Aleric with his mouth slightly open. A part of Aleric wanted him to beg him to believe it because he wasn’t a selfish pig who was jealous of his brother, and he certainly wasn’t in love with Gautier or wishing they were together. Not anymore.

“He-wait, you were his submissive, and he-he fucking used that against you?!”

“Yes.” Any second, Jaime was going to think it all sounded ridiculous and say he was making it up. He was trying to make Gautier look worse, or maybe he was lying about everything. The three outlaws had simply seen an opportunity. Nobody had hired them.

Everything would be thrown back in Aleric’s face. Jaime would tell him to go fuck himself and take care of the baby alone because he wasn’t staying with a crazy liar.

Pure rage showed in Jaime’s eyes, and Aleric’s heart rate shot up. He should have already run. He was about to bolt for his bedroom and pray he could get the door locked in time when Jaime strode toward the door to the hall instead of striking him.

“The fucking bastard is-”

“Wait! Jaime!”

If they got into a fight and tried to kill each other, Jaime might not make it.

Aleric grabbed his arm. “No! You can’t-”

“You’ve had me talking to this piece of shit who raped you, and you didn’t tell me?”

“He didn’t rape me! He beat me with his belt.”

“Like that’s so much better!”

“Nobody else can know. Father didn’t believe me.”

Jaime tried to pull his arm away. “I’ll find him and make him see. He fucking left his sons to a rat!”

“No, he didn’t!”

“You expect me to believe he didn't think twice about his son getting the shit beat out of him or why you two suddenly weren’t together!”

“He didn’t know we were together!” Aleric practically shouted. “We didn’t tell anyone, and I didn’t say anything later until my brother was with Gautier. He’s open with Zacharie because it's his last chance, and Zacharie can’t keep his mouth shut for five minutes. It’s not the same, and he’s been much more careful with my little brother because if they break up, there are no more brothers for him to go to! If you go out there and try to kill him or say anything, you’ll ruin everything, and I might as well fucking leave. Father will think you’re crazy, and I put you up to it. I don’t want to leave my home or try to convince Father that I didn’t get you to murder Gautier. He didn’t know, and he still doesn’t. Zacharie fucking twisted it, and I had no proof by the time I said anything!”

Jaime’s chest heaved, and veins stood out on his forearm. “Damn it.”

Aleric let go of him. Jaime looked to be on the verge of snapping until he rubbed his face.

“That piece of shit is still walking around, and he’s got another young guy-stop looking at me like that.”

“Don't tell me how to look when you're mad.”

“I swear I’m not angry at you. I will never hit you. I’m sorry, Aleric. For fuck’s sake. No wonder you think I’m going to abuse you. Nobody should go through that. And you expect me to go? If you think I’m going to stroll out while you’re stuck living with… him . No. Fuck that. If I have to go anywhere, I’m throwing you over my shoulder and taking you with me.”

“No, you’re not.”

Jaime pointed at him. “Watch me. I’ll carry you to the Windswept Isles before I leave you in the same vicinity with that sack of shit trying to kill you. He broke your nose not long ago.”

None of this was going the way Aleric had imagined. Where were the denial and claims that Aleric was a liar or crazy? What lord’s son was abused by another lord even if he was an exiled one who’d lost his position?

Any second, Jaime was going to say it didn’t add up, and how did he know if Aleric was lying when he’d held so much back?

“Can you explain to me what happened?” asked Jaime.

Part of Aleric wanted to pour it out, but he remembered Father’s expression. His own flesh and blood shaking his head. Zacharie hadn’t run his mouth to Jaime, but still…

Jaime pinched the bridge of his nose. “How did he keep this a secret?”

Aleric paused. He’d told chunks of the truth while skirting around the past, and Jaime had believed him. “How do I know if Zacharie is going to blab? Or if you go behind my back and talk to Father-”

“I don’t care what your Father has to say. Apparently, he doesn’t know shit. I’m not your Father, Zacharie, or Gautier. I’m asking you. I need to know what’s going on instead of you dribbling bits of information to me. Did I think you were a liar before when you talked to me?”

“You had proof before,” said Aleric. “Someone had tried to kill me, and you saw me with an arrow and a spear sticking out of my back. It’d be pretty hard to make that up. How do I know if you’re going to say something completely different in a day or even an hour?”

“I’m not-”

“It took Gautier two years before he turned on me.” Aleric held up two fingers. “He played a damn long game, and I thought he loved me. You barely even know me. My own Father thinks I’m lying because Zacharie said I tried to break them up and lied about Gautier beating me. He said I’m jealous, and if anyone went and asked him, he’d say the same thing. He believed Zacharie over me. You have no proof. Only my word, and if that means shit to Father-”

Jaime spread his arms. “I have proof of this.”

“You weren’t even here back then!”

Jaime tilted his head. “You won’t reciprocate anything sexual. You said you only top, and nothing ever goes up your ass. That obviously wasn’t true. You looked like you were ready to kick me right off the bed because I was going to kiss you. I’ll admit I thought you were a pillow prince and a cold prick, but the way you act makes a lot of sense. You think if anything goes further, I’ll be beating you up in three days. You might be all right with going to a whorehouse and topping someone, but after today, I think you’re terrified to bottom or do anything that leaves you vulnerable and puts the other in total control.”

Aleric hadn’t thought about certain aspects of his behavior being like proof to anyone. He hadn’t been that close to anyone, and even Clementine hadn’t guessed since he’d put on an act to hide everything from her.

“I didn’t put it together before, but now, I think you act like someone who doesn’t know how to have a healthy relationship. You’re afraid, and that’s also why you’re so nasty at times, and you have no friends except for Clementine, but she’s not here. You think everyone is going to stab you in the back.”

Aleric’s face burned. “Two years, and he had me against the wall one afternoon because my opinion differed from his. That’s not even the worst. Why would I trust you after a month? In a week, you might be expecting me to do something disgusting, and when I say no…”

“Haven’t we argued and had some pretty big differences of opinion? Did I try to hit you when you didn’t want foreplay? Have I demanded for you to let me back in your bed? Even when you were absolutely maddening and frustrating, and you still weren’t entirely better, did I strike you? I could have gone over there and fucking knocked you out cold. I didn’t. It didn’t even occur to me.”

Jaime could have taken many chances and gotten riled to the point of violence. It wasn’t hard for Aleric to get angry. “Okay, but-”

“Do you think your Father was like to that your Mother?”

“Never.” He couldn’t imagine Father raising a hand to Mother.

“Not every man is like Gautier, and I’d swear on my parent’s graves that I’m not that kind of man,” said Jaime. “Can you please tell me what happened?”

Elira, Aleric wanted someone to finally listen to him.