Page 16 of Bloom

Nearly four weeks after the hunting incident, Aleric wasn’t feeling his best one morning, and Father’s griping wasn’t helping.

“It’s not that I mind him going down there to eat, but he’s doing it every meal now, and I told him to come back to the High Table. But noooo. He prefers it down there now anyway.”

Aleric held back a sigh and moved his food around on his plate while Jaime feasted on a pile of blueberry flapjacks. One would think he hadn’t seen food in a week.

“Enjoying yourself?”

“Yeah. These are almost as good as my Aunt’s.”

Lord Monet sighed. “Aleric, were you listening to me?”

“Yes. What do you expect me to do?” Ever since that one night, Zacharie ate at one of the round tables with Gautier and a few courtiers he was friends with. “Tell him to come back, and use a firm voice if you want it that badly.”

“He’s not seven. The firm voice doesn’t work very well anymore.”

Because Zacharie had learned that nagging often wore Father down. “Then let him stay and yak to his friends. The Kingdom won’t collapse because he doesn’t eat with us.”

“You’re so helpful,” Lord Monet grumbled as he drizzled more honey mixed with cinnamon on his flapjacks. “He acts like you’re going to beat him up.”

He probably also didn’t like that Aleric had insisted on Jaime joining them for meals. After all, he’d taken care of Aleric when he’d been ill, and letting him sit at the High Table for meals was a small reward. Father had agreed.

Zacharie had been avoiding Aleric, and he couldn’t pretend he cared. The little shit was all smiles for Gautier who could do no wrong, and the farther away they stayed, the better.

“Why aren’t you eating?” asked Jaime.

“I’m not feeling it.” For whatever reason, his stomach had been a little off after dinner the previous night. Since his appetite had packed its trunk and gone on holiday that morning, he’d barely nibbled on his food. He usually liked blueberry flapjacks too. The texture and taste weren’t helping him. He didn't care for the toasted bread or fruit either.

He’d felt like his old self after a few days of recovering, and in the past weeks, nothing had changed. Things between Jaime and Aleric had been neutral, and Jaime had kept his promise by not grabbing him or making sexual jokes. Mostly, he stayed with Aleric outside of the rooms because he was afraid Gautier might try something a little more daring. While he could see Jaime’s point, since a frustrated man might take risks, Aleric made sure they had time apart since he was at home, and others were often nearby in the day. He couldn’t have a man plastered to his side at all times.

When they were in the rooms, he spent more time in his bedroom to be alone, and since he had his toy, he’d managed to keep his thoughts away from his aid. Mostly. He might have slipped up a few times, not that he'd dare admit it.

They hadn’t fought since Jaime was right, and Aleric shouldn’t be nasty to him. It didn’t mean they were chummy or friends since he wasn’t taking chances. Who knew what Jaime thought about him in private? He didn't want to know.

Olivier had asked Jaime how he was feeling, and he’d pretended the herb combination was helping him. No problems there. Olivier had slowly nodded and said that was good. He must have been boggled that Jaime wasn't constantly stuck in the privy.

Gautier couldn’t pull a plot out of his ass every week, or even every month, so he figured they had time. Jaime would be a nuisance to work around. He’d even said Gautier might give up since he’d failed so far. He hadn’t looked too convinced, and Aleric wouldn’t believe that for a second.

He'd wait and bide his time. If he guessed Jaime knew the truth, Gautier would hope for Jaime to grow lax and perhaps start to doubt that Aleric was telling the truth. If nothing was happening for a while, then perhaps Aleric was a liar.

Living in limbo sucked. It wasn’t a thing a person got used to. Maybe he should go, leave Father a note to warn him, even though he likely wouldn’t believe it, and find a new place to live and get by.

“I’m going riding with a few courtiers.” Father stood. “Are you coming, son?”

“No.”

“You still can’t ride Mighty yet, right?”

“I wouldn’t try it.” Aleric had taken her out on walks in the mornings since she couldn’t simply stay in a stall all day, and she was fine to follow. “She doesn’t like her back being touched, so if I or anyone tried to saddle her, I doubt she’d put up with it. Forget mounting her.”

“Maybe she’ll allow it in a few months,” said Father. “I’ll see you later.”

It wasn’t fair to leave him to save himself.

Once Father left, Jaime pushed his empty back. “I’ll be in the library again.”

“I know this must be boring, but I’m sure he’ll approach soon,” said Aleric.

“It’s not boring since,” Jaime said as Gautier stood. He kissed Zacharie before leaving the Hall. Zacharie stole a piece of leftover bacon from his plate to munch on while he continued talking to the young courtier next to him. “I like reading anyway. It’s hard to lug around a bunch of books when you're drifting. They take up too much room in the pack. I’ll see you in a bit.”

Jaime had started going to the library in the mornings to read. Aleric sometimes went to train alone or with a few of the younger men since Gautier never joined them. There were a couple of older men he preferred practicing with, and they always did it in the afternoon. Gautier would have to be pretty stupid to try to murder Aleric in the yard by the guardhouse. Guards were almost always either coming, going, taking a break, or training. Some often stood outside to talk and smoke a cig after their shifts before heading home.

Gautier would notice the habit, and while it would take a while, he’d surely try to approach Jaime. Maybe he’d simply say a few words here and there to seem innocent and gauge how Jaime felt about him with the nose-breaking incident behind them.

If Jaime was rather neutral but pleasant, Gautier might suspect that Aleric had told him nothing. After all, it was clear Aleric was ashamed, and if his Father didn’t believe him, why would Jaime?

Once Jaime was gone, Aleric took his time with his tea. He eyed Zacharie, who should have been with a man his age, like the one right by him. Idiot.

While the Hall gradually emptied, Aleric slowly finished his tea. When he finally pushed away his plate, he wondered if he should try a piece of toasted bread from the platter since he’d barely eaten a thing. It’d be cold and unappealing. No thanks.

As he went up the stairs, he hadn’t reached Olivier’s floor when he started to grow lightheaded. Also, since when had the stairs been so tiresome?

Nobody else was coming or going down, so he sat on one of the steps. What was wrong with him? He had a frantic moment as he tried to think if breakfast had been poisoned. The tea? The honey for drizzling over the flapjacks? A couple of bites wouldn’t do anything, and the other two had eaten full plates. They had been fine.

While sitting, his head felt better. It’d be stupid to poison up to three people at once and rather difficult, although not impossible. It would certainly be too suspicious. Maybe he was lightheaded because he hadn’t eaten, although he’d never felt like that before.

He needed to get up in case anyone saw him sitting on the steps. He could imagine Father later. Are you ill? Maybe he should go downstairs and get something from the kitchen. Nothing appealed to him when he tried to imagine eating a piece of fruit or whatever was easy to grab.

He peeked down, trying to see if anyone was coming. It seemed empty, and he heard nothing. Quite a lot were likely riding with Father or already elsewhere to do whatever they did with themselves all day. He’d lie on his bed for a few minutes and see how he felt.

If anything was wrong, he’d go see the wise woman before he dared to utter a word to the physician. Besides, he was probably fine. Not wanting breakfast wasn’t the end of the realm.

As soon as he stood and planted his feet on the landing, his head grew light, the railing blurred, and he grabbed the top. His heart thudded, and he made the mistake of looking down. The floor of the entrance hall below was too far away, and he wasn’t sure if he’d be sick as he broke out in a cold sweat.

“M’lord. Sit on the step. What’s wrong?”

The landing came back. When had Olivier come down? He didn’t remember how he’d gotten on his knees either. Blinking, he realized the physician’s face had a greyish tint.

“I think you fainted. You’re lucky you didn’t fall down the stairs.”

Aleric’s knees must have buckled. “I don’t remember.”

“What happened?” Olivier took his elbow as Aleric used the railing to stand.

“I think I got up too fast. That’s all.” Aleric pushed away his hand and sat on a step. “I’m fine. I need a moment.”

“Got up too fast? If you made it here from the High Table, that doesn’t make sense.”

“I mean, I sat on the step.”

“Why?”

Damn it. Aleric focused on his knees. “Can you go?”

“It’s not normal to faint. You should come to my room, and I’ll look you over.”

Fuck no. He’d be demanding Aleric take whatever bullshit for his constitution.

Aleric lifted his gaze to glare at him. “I’m fine.” Even though he’d broken out into a cold sweat. For that matter, Olivier was sweating too, and he wiped at his forehead as he tugged on Aleric’s arm with his other hand.

“I’ll help you up.”

“No.” He’d go to the library. “I’ll find Jaime. Leave me alone.”

“You don’t need him.” Olivier straightened as Aleric yanked his arm away. “It’ll take a few minutes, and you can go to your rooms to rest afterward-”

He cut off, and a bead of sweat dripped down his forehead. He made a strange noise before grabbing his chest.

What if a sickness was going around, and he’d caught it too? Then he realized how ridiculous that likely was since they hadn’t been near each other in a while, and nobody had been ill.

“Get-get-” Olivier cut off.

Aleric remembered the symptoms of a heart attack which would explain the greyish pallor, the sweat, and the way he was clutching the railing.

As he sank to his knees, Aleric drew up his legs and slowly stood on the first step of that flight. He didn’t grow dizzy even though he still didn’t feel his best.

“Get someone,” gasped Olivier. “Anyone. My chest…”

There wasn’t much to be done for a severe heart attack, and the victim either recovered or died. Sometimes, they had one later. It was supposedly more likely after the first according to a book he’d once read. Besides, when the physician is ill, who is supposed to take care of him?

It was hard to tell if Olivier was about to die with his ashy face.

“Aleric, get Lord Gautier-he can ride to one of the physicians in C?te.”

“Why would I get him?” A cruel and amazing opportunity may have fallen into his lap. Letting a man die like that was wrong, but it was wrong to work with another to kill, and he’d be a fool to let the chance go. “Why Gautier? There are a bunch of other people here. Oh, wait…you’re his lackey. Pity he can’t save you now. I hope it was worth all the money he’s surely paid you. What else has he promised?”

Olivier stared at Aleric who still wasn’t moving, and he seemed to be struggling to catch his breath and think of an excuse as to why he’d said Gautier out of everyone living at court. “I-” His breath sawed in and out of him.

“No denial? Or does your chest hurt too much to talk? I imagine a heart attack is quite painful.”

“Please…”

“I don’t like people who try to kill me,” Aleric whispered. “I’m sure most don’t. What were you going to give me in your room for my constitution after fainting? Hmm? You tried to poison Jaime, although that was mild. You poisoned me after I was injured and nearly killed me.”

Breathing raggedly, Olivier stared at him with his mouth open before he fell forward, and Aleric backed up a couple of steps. The physician pushed on the floor with one arm like he could force himself back up before he went limp.

“If you're still alive later, I'll see what you’ve got in your cabinets and force poison into you. Bastard. I guess I got my wish because you’re dying, and it looks painful.”

“Aleric-”

“Fuck you.”

“Please…get…”

“No.”

Olivier made a strange noise, and his back rose with a short breath. Fell. The next rise was barely perceptible.

Aleric listened for any slight sound from the man. Another movement. He didn’t seem to be breathing anymore. He’d read heart attacks can drag out, some cause nearly instant death, and others are rather fast without the sudden death. Olivier seemed to have followed the latter. Aleric dared to lean over and touch his neck, seeking a pulse.

Nothing.

He wasn’t sure what to do now. He’d never killed a man, and while he hadn’t driven a weapon into him or done anything directly to him, it wasn’t like killing a rabbit, a deer, or a boar.

The last time he’d seen a dead body, it had been Fleur with Father weeping over her. A day before, Florence had passed. Mother nearly a month before.

He couldn’t pretend he felt sad, although he wasn’t happy either. It was more like…he wasn’t sure. He’d let a man die.

A sound from below made him jump, and he went to the other side to look down where a glint of silk caught his eye.

“I think Olivier had a heart attack! Come quickly.”

The two ladies rushed upstairs. One gasped at the sight of Olivier.

“He collapsed,” said Aleric. “I tried to ask what was wrong, but I think he’s already dead. He wouldn’t answer.”

The other woman crouched by him and touched his neck. “I think he’s dead.”

Aleric swore in a low voice and stepped around the body as the first woman leaned over the railing and shouted. A male voice came from below.

“I think Olivier is dead!” she shouted down to him.

“What?!”

“Have someone ride into C?te and fetch the physician on Flassoa Street. Olivier must have had a heart attack.”

“I don’t think there’s any hope for him,” said the second. “He’s not breathing. Let’s go downstairs. Are you okay? That must have been such a shock! You should sit down.”

“I’ll be fine,” he muttered. “I want to find Jaime.”

“Someone needs to tell Lord Monet,” said the other woman.

One down as if Elira herself had struck him. Aleric didn’t think much about the Goddess. Maybe she was paying attention to him.

He headed straight for the library. He hoped Gautier hadn’t gone to find Jaime because he needed Jaime and no one else, although he couldn’t even explain why. He didn’t want to be alone or with courtiers dithering everywhere.

He crept along the rows until he spotted a corner where he figured Jaime might like to sit. There he was, and it was just him. Aleric hurried down the row, and Jaime looked up and frowned.

“What’s wrong? You look-”

“Olivier had a heart attack.”

***

Aleric had to change his story when he told a few others. After he’d fainted and come back around, Olivier had collapsed quite suddenly. He certainly wasn’t admitting he’d watched the man die and did absolutely nothing. Some heart attacks were known to kill instantly. The victim collapsed, and that was it, so no one appeared suspicious.

Nobody had seen him that morning yet, so it was unknown if he’d been sweating or appearing ill.

The fetched physician from the city could do nothing except have the body taken away after he did a check to ensure that, yes, Olivier was definitely dead and nothing could be done.

Jaime insisted the physician check out Aleric because people shouldn’t faint. They also didn’t come back around to see a person die seconds later.

Aleric admitted he hadn’t eaten breakfast. Getting up too fast had made him feel faint. The physician said it was an unfortunate chain of events but easily remedied. Aleric was to eat something small with sugar and take it easy that day since he’d also suffered a dreadful shock. He also shouldn’t skip meals anymore because it caused certain people to not feel well.

“I’m not hungry,” Aleric said from the couch in his sitting room when Jaime returned with a plate of food.

“I know, but you shouldn’t go until lunch with nothing if you blacked out for a few seconds.” Jaime set the plate on the table in front of the couch. “Fainting isn’t normal for you, is it?”

“No. It’s probably just a one-time thing. Dead people aren’t good for the appetite.”

“Try to eat a little. Please? Do you feel bad?”

“No. I’m a bit tired, I guess. Not enough to nap.”

“I mean about Olivier.”

“Kind of, but at the same time, I’m relieved. It seems…wrong in a way. I’m…”

“Unsettled?”

“Yeah.”

Jaime sat in the armchair. “If he’d come after you with a sword, what would you do? What would you do if anyone tried to attack you?”

“Fight back if possible. I’d likely kill them.”

“He didn’t try to stab you, but he did attempt to murder you, so if you’re not feeling bad about letting him croak, it’s pretty obvious why. He’s a guilty man. I think you’re kind of in shock. You don’t normally see people die of a heart attack right in front of you, especially the guy who’s supposed to take care of everyone’s health. He knew why you didn’t get anyone. The fact that he immediately thought of Gautier riding to get another physician shows proof they were working together, so we’d best remember that. Why else would he ask? I wonder if he was feeling ill all morning.”

“He might have taken something and told himself it wasn’t a big deal.” A man might not say anything if he’s not feeling well in the hopes that it’ll pass or it’s only a minor issue.

Aleric took the plate that contained sliced cheese, crackers, a pastry, and pickled ginger which was an odd choice for a midmorning snack in his opinion even though he liked it. Ginger was good for the stomach so he started with that first. The little strips were easy to eat and better than breakfast.

“If you want anything else, let me know,” said Jaime. “I picked things you might want to nibble on, and ginger’s easy on the stomach.”

“This is fine. Normally, I wouldn’t feel relief over a man’s death, but that’s one down. A new physician won’t be snagged by Gautier too fast.”

“It was almost too easy.”

“It was shit luck for him. Or the Goddess frowned upon him. It’s about time she did something. You still need to go off alone again at some point to see if Gautier finds you.”

“I know. He’s down an ally now.”

The suspicious part of Aleric’s head said Jaime and Gautier were already plotting against him in secret. The commoner would get a fat reward for helping to kill him. The thought was unsettling to say the least even though he couldn’t name a single piece of evidence that proved his suspicion.

Jaime rubbed his chin as he stared at the empty fireplace. “Do you know what? I just thought-it might be stupid. What else does your Father own? I forgot the name.

“Narter. It’s much farther west. We haven’t been there in years, and barely a thing happens in that village.”

“Do you have a proper house there?”

“It's a small home. It’s kept up to a point, and we haven’t been around in years, so I’m sure it needs a good cleaning and a few repairs. I didn’t much like it there because the kids didn’t want to play with me and kept calling me city boy. It also smelled like an old fish, and the servants kept serving us fish for every damn meal.”

“What if we could make Gautier and Zacharie go there?”

“I don’t think Zacharie would appreciate that.” Aleric finished the ginger and figured he’d try the crackers. “A smelly fishing village? Why don't we put him in a box by the docks?”

“If it’s made to sound marvelous…it's quite nice to have your own home, and he’d be sort of like a Baron. Lord Monet would likely allow him to make most of the decisions. It’s a fishing village, so I’m sure nothing major happens for the most part. I’m sure Gautier would prefer an Earldom, but if Zacharie goes, it’d be odd if he didn’t. They’re in love, right? Zacharie might like the idea of having his own little place.”

“Hmm. We’ll see. Father probably wouldn’t like sending him away. We also can’t bring that up right now since Olivier just died, all right?”

“I know.”

***

Olivier had a few family members elsewhere, so the body was sent away to be buried. Fortunately, they meant they didn’t have to attend the funeral. Instead, Father held a dinner in honor of Olivier two days after his death, and he gave a speech. When he said they’d all miss Olivier and how he’d been a good, loyal man who had selflessly devoted his life to helping others, Aleric was tempted to loudly scoff.

That would smear his image beyond belief. He settled for looking appropriately mournful. Zacharie and Lord Gautier had most unfortunately decided to sit at the High Table for that meal, and Zacharie kept fiddling with the edge of the tablecloth while he sat like a stone.

They’d have to find a new physician, and whoever filled that post wouldn’t be someone Gautier could snare within a month or two. Aleric wondered about the wise woman, Delphine. She might be decent enough to say something if Gautier or anyone ever approached her. Fully trusting anyone was foolish, but she was better than a complete stranger.

Father might not be keen on a person who hadn’t received formal schooling. Still…perhaps he and Jaime should take another ride.

***

That night, Aleric woke up with a faint cramp in his midsection. He rolled over and managed to fall asleep again, although not for long. The cramping was worse when he next woke up, and his first horrified thought was that he had heat fever again.

He rubbed his eyes and rolled onto his back. It wasn’t the same or nearly as bad, although the cramping was around where his uterus was. It wasn’t stabbing like when he’d had heat fever, so he wouldn’t be begging Jaime for his ass to be bred.

Dinner had been roasted chicken, sweet potatoes, greens, and bean salad. His appetite hadn’t been very good in the past couple of days although he hadn’t fainted. He’d been forcing himself to eat at meals and figured it was just a minor issue. Last winter, something had gone around for a couple of days and left quite a few feeling poorly in the privy. At first, they’d thought the cook had messed up the food until a servant mentioned that a few people in C?te had it too. They hadn’t been eating at the Castle, so a minor illness was going around. Aleric hadn’t caught it.

Maybe it was similar, and he needed the privy now. It would also explain his lack of appetite.

Sitting there in the light of a crystal lantern on low produced nothing, and the cramps ebbed. They hadn’t felt like trapped air, but maybe that was all it was, and it had shifted when he got up.

He was more awake than he wanted to be when he crawled back into bed and figured it was a fluke. After about ten or so minutes, the cramping returned.

What if it was his uterus? Despite being under the blanket, he went cold at the thought and sat up again. If an abundant male conceived, the cramps always came four weeks later as a sign of pregnancy. The uterus was preparing to grow and house the baby already inside it. After another eight months, the baby would be born.

He’d never felt anything quite like it before.

He slid out of bed and tapped the lantern on his bedside drawer. In his writing desk, he had a little leather booklet with pages for each month inside. The days and dates were listed on them. For the new year, he’d replace them.

He found the one for June and marked the day before counting backward to mid-May. That was when he had the heat fever. They had screwed four weeks ago. His heart pounded as he tried to will away the cramps and the truth along with it.

Jaime had gotten him pregnant.

He flung down the booklet. “Damn it!”

The herb pasties were supposed to be taken before sex, and they lasted for a few hours. One could take them after sex although it was better to not forget and wait until afterward. The wise woman said it was something about how they were initially absorbed. Even though he’d fallen asleep right after cumming, exhausted from the heat fever, and that had delayed him, he’d taken two as a precaution! What the fuck? How could two not be enough?

The baby had also managed to stick despite the incident in the woods and being poisoned.

He couldn’t have a baby right now. He wasn’t safe, and he was supposed to bring a kid into the world? Unless he figured out something fast in the next eight months to get rid of Gautier.

What the fuck was he supposed to tell the Father who was currently asleep on the couch in his sitting room? Aleric rubbed his stomach although that did little for the cramps. He’d probably have them for a good twelve hours, or maybe a whole day. It varied.

Out of desperation, he sat on the privy again just in case he did have to go and was worrying over nothing.

After fifteen minutes, he was sitting up in bed and staring at the flowers gleaming in the window from the lantern light. What was he supposed to tell Jaime? He had the cramps, and by the way, it was his baby.

“Congratulations. You're stuck with me now.”

Jaime wasn’t terrible since he’d stuck around, and he’d kept his promise by not grabbing him and saying sexual things. Still, Aleric hadn’t looked at him as marriage and Father material. Then again, he never looked at anyone like that anymore. Not since he was twenty. Jaime was like an employee, and in the future, they were supposed to part.

Except he’d leave a lot sooner. He already knew Jaime wasn’t going to stay and take responsibility for an oopsie baby. Since Aleric would have to tell Father soon, he’d be in a hurry to get out before Lord Monet could make him stay.

Jaime had even said he wasn't in the position to be a Father. While he was okay with helping Aleric with his problem, he saw it as temporary. A baby would make him feel stuck, even though he’d admitted to wanting to fuck Aleric without a heat fever being the reason, that didn’t mean he wanted to stay.

It was better that way. He didn’t need a husband. The baby would be another thing to worry about alone.

At least he was used to being alone.