Page 10

Chapter ten

T hat night, I slept beside him. I woke up every few minutes, making sure he was still next to me. Deus barely slept. He tossed and turned, tormented by his experiences in the pit and what he had done when he was soulless. I placed my hand on his arm, letting him know I was there, but I didn’t say a word … I didn’t know what to say.

I was dealing with my own trauma from what I had endured and seen in Hell. The smell of blood and burning flesh seemed to be permanently singed into my nose. The cries of those lost souls woke me during the quietest moments of the night. I could feel the claws of the flying bat creatures still latching into my skin. The sound of the noctori haunted me, blood pooling in my ears. My mind was wrecked.

And then there was the emotional and physical abuse I had gone through at the hands of my mate. Even though the horrors the I had witnessed and endured in Hell weren’t truly done by the man I loved, the memories and feelings still weighed heavily. I had accomplished my goal. He was safe, lying next to me. I just didn’t know what came next.

The next morning, after he finally dozed off, I managed to sneak out of the room, going to the kitchen to gather food. Giana was in the kitchen with Frankie, preparing breakfast. They looked at me with small smiles.

“Good morning,” I said softly .

“Morning,” both echoed.

“How’s Gor?” I asked.

“Better,” replied Giana. “He’s awake and his arm has grown back. Still a little red and tender, but he’s assured me the hard part is over.”

“That’s great to hear,” I said, the weight of my worry lessening. “I’ll stop by this afternoon to check in with him, if that’s okay.”

“Of course,” she said, putting two plates on a tray. “He has quite the lashing prepared for you, so I know he’ll be thrilled.”

I laughed. “Good to know. Have you reached out to your family?”

“No,” she said hesitantly. “I’m not ready for that yet. I’m just going to focus on Gor and his health right now.”

“I understand,” I replied with a smile. “One thing at a time.”

She took my hands in hers. She was holding back tears as she forced a smile.

“Thank you … for saving me.”

“Don’t mention it,” I replied, rubbing the top of her soft hand with my thumb.

“I wish there was some way I could repay you.”

“Live a happy life. Make each other happy. That’s all I want for you and Gor.”

“We are eventually going to have to go home,” said Frankie, popping a grape in her mouth. “Nonna has been blowing up my phone.”

“I know,” I huffed. “I’m just …”

“I feel you,” G said, her brow furrowing, “and for what it’s worth, you’re handling all of this with an amazing amount of grace.”

I nodded my thanks. “I just can’t deal with anything else right now.”

Frankie ran her hand down my arm. “I get it,” she said. “I’ll go to them tomorrow and explain everything. In the meantime, you and Deus focus on healing.”

“How is he?” asked Giana.

I shrugged. “I don’t even know where to begin,” I admitted. “I don’t know how to help him, or what to even say. I was so focused on the saving part that I didn’t really give much thought to what happened after he came home.”

“The love you share will aid the healing,” said Frankie. “Right now, you both need time.”

“Here,” said Giana, pushing the tray of food and beverages towards me. “Take this and go to him. The best thing for the both of you right now is to be together.”

“Thank you, guys,” I said, picking up the tray and heading back to our room.

When I opened the door, the bed was empty. I set the food down and followed the sound of running water to the bathroom. Deus was showering again. I waited patiently at the table, sipping my coffee. When he finally emerged, his skin was red and raw, like he had scrubbed off the first few layers. His heavy eyes landed on me, sadness still lingering.

“The water bill is going to be outrageous this month if you keep these habits up,” I said teasingly.

He threw the towel in the basket and sunk into the chair in front of me. “I feel … disgusting,” he admitted, taking a cup of coffee off the tray.

I allowed my eyes to roam over his handsome features. The skin under his eyes was bruised and swollen. Even though he was suffering, it couldn’t diminish the happiness that he was sitting in front of me … alive and breathing.

“What can I do?” I whispered softly. “Tell me what I can do to help you. ”

“There’s nothing. You’ve already done enough.”

I got up from my chair and sat softly on his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. He didn’t touch me. He hung his head in shame. I rubbed his cheek softly, and his body tensed.

“I hurt you,” he whispered. “In so many ways … I hurt you.”

“I knew it wasn’t you.”

“But it was. It is this vile, horrible part of me that deserves to suffer.”

“Deus,” I said, forcing his eyes to mine. “Anyone would have acted the same way without a soul. This isn’t your fault. None of it is. I don’t hold anything during your time in Hell against you.”

His eyes drifted to my neck and then my shoulder. “I—” he tried to say.

“Stop!” I demanded, pressing my forehead against his. “It wasn’t you. The Deus that I love, that is here now … you died for me. You gave your life to save mine. You risked everything so that I would live.” I pulled back, looking in his beautiful eyes. “So that we could live. I want to live with you … my mate.”

“How can you forgive me?” he whispered.

“There’s nothing to forgive. Your actions weren’t your own.”

“But I remember,” he admitted. “I remember the thoughts, the actions, the … women. I remember all of it, and it makes me sick.”

“Then let’s forget it. Let’s replace those memories with our own happiness. Don’t let Lucifer win, my love. Don’t let him take away this special bond that only few get to experience. We’ve only begun to explore what we can do together … what we can be.”

He didn’t look at me. His hands remained at his sides. God, how I craved his touched. “What Lucifer said at the end,” he whispered. “He’s coming for you. It’s no longer just about your power. His pride is damaged. He’s going to attack everything you’ve ever loved.”

“I’m no longer afraid,” I said confidently.

His eyes finally met mine. “You should be, Seren. You should be very afraid.”

I left Deus after breakfast to check on Gor. When I opened the door, Giana was snuggled into his side, grinning from ear to ear. Gor’s laughter filled the air, possibly the most beautiful thing I had ever heard—except for the laugh of my mate, that is.

I knocked, feeling like I was interrupting something intimate. “Hey, it’s me,” I said softly. “I can come back if it’s not a good time.”

“Oh, no,” said Gor, wincing as he sat up. “I’ve been waiting for this visit, you little kamikaze witch.”

Giana laughed, kissing him on the cheek before getting up from the bed. “I’m going to the kitchen to get more food,” she announced. “Does anyone want anything?”

“All you’ve done is eat this morning,” stated Gor. “Where do you keep it all?”

“You try being dead for a few months and see how hungry you come back.” She stuck her tongue out at him, shutting the door behind her.

I walked to the bed, smiling down at my friend softly. “I’m so sorry you got hurt,” I whispered.

He shrugged. “Isn’t the first time, won’t be the last. Come sit,” he said, patting the bed. As soon as I did, he pulled me into him, crushing my body against his chest. Safely engulfed in my friend’s embrace, I broke. I cried while the demon of sloth soothed me, rubbing his hand down my hair and back, kissing my head softly.

I lay there in his arms for what seemed like forever. It was the first moment of peace I had experienced since being tortured by Lucifer all those weeks ago. Everyone was where they should be … except Orion.

I forced myself to bury the memories from the hall of mirrors deep in the back of my mind. I wasn’t ready to process what I had confronted within myself.

“How are you,” Gor asked softly.

“Honestly … I don’t know.” I pulled back, looking up at his soft brown eyes. “Deus is suffering, Orion is still dead, and I pissed off Lucifer to the point that he is now not only after me, but everyone I love.”

“So, just another Tuesday then?”

I laughed, laying back next to him. “How do I help him, Gor? How do I heal him?”

“Being there for him, so he knows he’s not alone, would be a good place to start. When I first had my soul returned, it was years before I could look at myself. Granted, I was without mine for centuries, but still … the pain and regret is potent, especially with how powerful we are.”

“I miss him so much,” I admitted.

“I know, but look on the bright side; now that we know you are part demon, you’ll have all of eternity to heal and find joy together.

I pulled away, looking at him in disbelief. “What?”

He shrugged. “I still want to run some tests. Mammon is the one we need to see about that, but since you have Lucifer’s powers and DNA along with being Asmodeus’s mate, it would only make sense you have our life span … you’re immortal, Seren.”

“But, if that’s the case, how did I die—” I froze, putting all the pieces together. The moment Deus died, he’d sacrificed his lifeforce in exchange for mine. And then there was what I had seen the brothers do in the underworld with the souls and how they had consumed them entirely. My mind spun and swirled with the possibility.

Lifeforce, even for a prince of Hell, was fragile. Not enough and you died … too much, and you would suffer the same fate. In this universe, each plane has a balance. If I could somehow overpower Lucifer, gain the upper hand, maybe I could tip the scales, use my lifeforce to overpower and burn him out. Though, if I was right, it would mean sacrificing myself in the end.

“What is it?” Gor asked. His brow furrowed while he studied me.

“Nothing. It’s just crazy to think of myself as immortal.”

“You deserve a long life full of happiness, Seren.” He smiled at me endearingly. “You are my favorite of any of them, you know.”

“Who?”

“The vessels. Even Cecilia. I am honored to have spent time with you, and to call you my friend.”

I laughed softly, wiping the tears from my cheeks. “A girl from a nunnery, best friends with a bunch of demons. Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke.”

“Or maybe a really good one.”

After I left Gor’s room, I found Frankie and told her I’d return home with her to Castle Salvo. I needed to talk to Nonna. I prayed she would understand and support me when it came to my plan on how to be rid of Lucifer for good. Frankie would not. Aunt Thora most likely would side with Frankie. It didn’t matter. I had started this war with the devil, and I was the one that needed to end it.

That afternoon I took a walk through town and worked out how I was going to end Lucifer, and the dominos I needed to set in place to make that happen. Late in the evening, I returned to Deus’s room. He was awake and standing on the edge of the balcony.

He was so beautiful. I couldn’t have created a man more perfect even if I tried. The thought of having eternity with him … I embraced the joy of it, even if only for a moment. That eternity would never come. Not in this life, at least.

“Are you going to say hello, or just stare at me?” he said, turning his head slightly.

“I was just enjoying the view,” I replied, stepping up next to him.

His hands were in his pockets, and I didn’t dare push it with physical touch. Even though I wanted to spend the remaining few moments of my life wrapped in his arms, taking in every feeling, smell, and taste.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

“For what?”

“Coming for me. I know you suffered because of that decision … but all the same. Thank you.”

“And thank you for sacrificing your life to save mine.”

“I would have a hundred times over again. Your life is worth more than mine.”

I paused, feeling the weight in my heart. “Don’t say that Deus. You’re amazing.”

He looked at me then, offering a half smile. “How can you say that, after all you’ve witnessed?”

“Because I know what it’s like to love and be loved by you. And I’d take those moments of happiness with you over anything else this life has to offer.”

“You’re insane,” he said, shaking his head with amusement.

“I know. I’m mated to a Prince of Hell, for heaven’s sake.” We both laughed, and my heart lightened at the sound. “I missed you so much.” I turned to face him fully.

He allowed a few moments to pass before he spoke again. “When I saw you … felt you die, it was the worst feeling I have ever experienced. Like a part of me had been torn out of my soul, just when it had finally been made whole. I was foolish to deny what was so evident between us before. It took you being kidnapped to get me to admit what I knew I’d never be able to escape.” He laughed softly. “Sometimes, I wonder if pride is Lucifer’s sin or mine.

“We made it, Deus. I’m alive, and so are you. Against all odds, we made it.”

He finally turned to me. “Seren, I need you to be honest with me, even if it’s not the answer I want to hear.” He paused, licking his lips as he dropped his eyes from mine. “After everything, you truly, without hesitation, still want to be with me? You can overlook who or what I am, and what I’ve done?”

I smiled, drawing my hand down his face and neck. He stiffened. “I love you more than my own life,” I said. “I am honored to be your mate. I know you better than you know yourself, Deus. I’m never letting us go.”

His body relaxed and he smiled, truly smiled, for the first time since he had returned from Hell.

“Well, in that case, I promise to love and cherish you for eternity. My heart, soul, mind, and body will belong to you and only you. Forever and always.”

My eyes filled with tears. I had wanted to hear those words so many times before. And now they came from the lips of the most extraordinary man I’d ever known.

“I am honored, my prince.”

He stepped closer, his smile remaining as he looked down at me through his thick, black lashes. He trailed his fingers tenderly along my jawline and down my neck, then pulled back hesitantly. I caught his hand, placing it on my face.

“Don’t you ever hesitate to touch me,” I said, reveling in his caress.

He smirked. “I’m working on it.”

I took a breath of relief at the breakthrough, knowing it would be short lived.

“I’m going back to Triora tomorrow with Frankie. I need to inform my family and coven about what’s coming. Would you like to come with me?”

His eyes fell. “I … I’m not good around people right now.”

“I know, but maybe a change of scenery would help with that.”

He hesitated. “I’ll think on it.”

I smiled. “I can live with that.”

He looked out over the balcony, and I followed his gaze. The beautiful landscape of the massive mountains was captivating. Small snowcaps had formed on some of them as the winter winds were beginning to descend. I smiled at the peace my home provided. I felt his eyes on my face. When I met his gaze, he was smiling down at me.

“I was thinking about going for a ride,” he said. “Care to join me?”

“I’d love nothing more.”