Page 25 of Blood Loss (The Obscura Saga #2)

KY L O

Saying goodbye to his mate and his parents hurts worse than he knew it would. It feels like the end of the world. Punishment for a crime he’s terrified to atone for. But now they’re gone, and he’s being wheeled into an ambulance, alone.

The ride is arduous. Especially with the pull in his chest as his bond with Lathan stretches thinner with each mile. In the hospital, he finally felt it again—connected to his mate—but it’s slipping through his fingers with the growing distance. If it wasn’t for the sedatives in his IV, he’d be doing everything in his power to go back to him. He assumes his parents informed the medical team of that fact, since they’re aware of his new ability to shift with the fluctuation of emotions.

He feels like cattle. Being transported to his final destination. Doomed for slaughter.

But as time passes, everything begins to lose meaning.

Without his loved ones, he is left with nothing but pain and the consequences of what he’s done—all while stuffed inside a metal cube, staring out into the pitch black of night through the tiny glass holes in front of him .

When they finally arrive, the thick, clunky doors are pulled open, revealing the sun beginning to rise above the horizon, just past the large, ivory brick building standing before him. The giant French doors are rounded at the top, and above them, an ornate sign: ANCHOR RECOVERY CENTER.

ARC.

Dissociated, the transport team helps check him in. The building is a ghost town apart from a handful of staff working the night shift. His stiff muscles and bruised rib cage ache in protest as he’s transferred from the gurney to a wheelchair. The halls blend together in a dizzying maze before they arrive at his accommodations for the next thirty days.

An empty room with blank cream walls, a bed, a desk, and a smooth metal chair—devoid of personality, devoid of threats, devoid of Lathan.

◆◆◆

Day 1Friday, August 22, 2025

I got a caseworker, lucky me. Danny. He acts like Lucas, kind of a prick, but he wants me to write everyday no matter what. So here I am, writing.

I hate it here. I can’t stop fucking shaking and sweating and throwing up. I wanna go home. To Lathan. I can feel our bond stretched to its limit and it hurts. I’m scared it’ll break. I’m scared of what I’ll do if it does…

There, I wrote. Fuck you, Danny.

Day 2Saturday, August 23, 2025

Can’t sleep without nightmares, can’t eat without vomiting, my whole body fucking hurts and they won’t give me anything to stop it, but all I want is another hit.

Will I ever stop crying?

Day 3Sunday, August 24, 2025

Hey Lathan,

Danny said to write to a person, and you’re the only person I wanna see, so here we are…

I’ve been in solitary since I got here, to get through withdrawal. The room’s fine, worse than our old dorm. Same size though.

I’m so tired. Withdrawal has been ten times worse than before, and my skin still itches for more.

I messed up so bad and I’m fucking scared, Lathan. I hope you can forgive me. I don’t know if I can forgive myself.

Day 4Monday, August 25, 2025

Hey Lathan,

Danny is getting on my last nerve. He tried all day to get me to leave my room to go to group therapy. Like that’s where I wanna go right now. Withdrawal is getting easier, but I’m still exhausted. It’s like I have the flu…except my skin crawls for stardust, so I guess it’s not like the flu.

Dinner’s in thirty minutes, which means Danny will be back to give me my tray. Food’s fine, what you’d expect from this kinda place.

If it’ll make him shut up, I’ll go to group after dinner…

Gods, take me now.

Day 5Tuesday, August 26, 2025

Hey Lathan,

So, group went fine last night. Couldn’t say anything though. It’s too soon…

Today I actually left my room. Went to group this afternoon to get it over with, then sat in the common room by myself like an idiot. It’s got comfy couches I guess, and big windows, if you don’t mind the bars. And I saw the psychiatrist…

Day 6Wednesday, August 27, 2025

Lathan,

I don’t know if I can do this. I can’t stop fucking crying. The leader at a group workshop told us to think about the life we want, but how can I when I’ve fucked it up so bad? All I ever wanted was you. Like we talked about. But how can I ask you for that when I keep hurting you? Hurting myself?

FUCK. I’m sorry, Lathan. I’m so fucking sorry for ignoring you, yelling at you, lying to you, doing ALL OF THIS AGAIN. I’m your mate, I’m supposed to love you, protect you, not THIS.

I’m toxic, but I don’t wanna be. I’m sorry.

Day 7Thursday, August 28, 2025

Hey Lathan,

Good news, withdrawal seems to have subsided. Everything but the itch. Yesterday was so hard, I kinda spent all day in a panic. Anytime I thought about getting a fix, I’d push the thought away and run to do something else. But it’s like running away from your own shadow on a sunny day.

At the workshop today, we did an activity to set an intention or goal while we’re at ARC.

My intention is to be a better mate.

My goal is you.

Day 8Friday, August 29, 2025

Hey Lathan,

Can’t believe I’ve been here over a week now. Honestly didn’t think I’d make it this far. But it’s official, I’m going to get better. I don’t care how bloody hard it’s gonna be. It’s already been fucking hard and I’ve survived. I want a future for us, one where we aren’t aching every day. So this is it. I’m putting all the energy I have left into staying clean, getting strong, learning coping skills, and learning to be a better partner. For both of us.

Day 9Saturday, August 30, 2025

Hey Lathan,

Well, today didn’t go how I thought it would.

Saturdays are visitation day and I finally saw my parents since…you know. I asked about you. They told me what happened while I was out, how they fucking treated you. I nearly went full wolf on them. Calmed down before staff needed to sedate me though.

I told them everything. Right up to the first night I met you. Didn’t leave out a single detail. Well, I did leave out most of the sexy stuff. That tea stays unspilled.

But for real…it was hard, especially after all this. Already told the psychiatrist, but reliving it all in front of them was wo rse. Seeing their faces… We all cried by the end.

But it was worth it, clearing things up for them about us and the whole blood drinking thing. Now things feel lighter, if that makes sense. No more lies, no more hiding.

Day 10Sunday, August 31, 2025

Hey,

I don’t know how to start this, so I’ll just say it.

I’m embarrassed and ashamed for how I’ve contributed to your pain by keeping secrets. It made things so much worse. You’ve suffered enough by the hands of too many people and I should have NEVER played into that. Our relationship, what we’ve been through, shouldn’t have ever become a misunderstanding in the first place. I take full responsibility for not telling my parents, for actively making things harder for you, and I cannot express how sorry I am.

Please let me try to make it up to you. When I’m back, let’s start over fresh, a clean slate.

Day 11Monday, September 1, 2025

Hey Lathan,

Me again. Not gonna be anyone else, in case you were wondering.

Danny took me to the gym today. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but he’s not that bad. He and Luc have that in common too, I guess. We started building a lifestyle plan together, something to focus my energy in a positive way. He says it’ll help me be more conscious of how I treat my own body. My new form. Even scheduled me to see a meditation specialist in two days.

Not sure how this’ll all go, it’s kind of a lot for me to wrap my head around right now, but I’m trying, and Danny says that’s already progress.

First step is wanting change, the second is to be brave enough to try.

Day 12Tuesday, September 2, 2025

Hey Lathan,

Back to the hard stuff (as if any of this is easy).

Saw the psychiatrist again, but today she wanted to focus on the root cause of my substance abuse. Not just stardust, but weed and alcohol and sex and venom too…

We figured it out, but it was hard to get there, to realize how long it’s been festering.

I was just a kid when my pack started to notice I wasn’t growing up to be big and strong or smart and daring, the way a wolf “should be.” The way Kianna and Lucas are. Pedro was the elder who always had the most say, and he said I was going to be a disappointment. I was five, barely older than Mateo. For years I pretended to be someone I wasn’t, masked it so I could be accepted by my elders. Until he found out I was seeing a guy.

I was only fifteen, and it was barely more than a crush, but he made an example of me. Shamed me in front of everyone, used me to threaten my cousins into becoming who he said they should be.

I hated my grandfather, I hated my pack, but I hated myself more. Over the years, I’d do anything I could for dopamine. Make lots of friends, even if they weren’t great company. Sneak off with whoever and get high behind the school. Go to parties, dance, drink, fuck.

My parents tried their best to support me, but the elders were hard on them because they weren’t adhering to tradition, because they raised me. And I was different.

He fucking broke me.

Day 13Wednesday, September 3, 2025

Hey Lathan,

I saw the meditation specialist, Charlie, today. Since I’m the only werewolf in ARC affected by Obscura’s attack, we were alone in the hot yoga room (which is hotter than the beach, by the way. We could use a redo of our beach day…sober).

He guided me through a meditation to tap into my senses, connect with my “inner wolf.” We’ll meet for about thirty minutes to an hour daily, and hopefully it’ll help me control my shifting, so I don’t just wolf out whenever I’m angry, and understand the new body I’m living in.

So far, it was nice. Calm.

Day 14Thursday, September 4, 2025

Hey Lathan,

Damn, the day kinda got away from me! Had counselling after breakfast, then went to the gym with Danny, played some board games with a couple other inmates (bit of an inside joke) after lunch, had group after dinner, then did the meditation with Charlie.

Gods, now I’m finally back in my room, more than ready for bed.

It’s busy, but Danny says it keeps my nervous system regulated. A routine that works for me and my healing journey.

Kinda cool to say that, even if it still feels a little hippie- dippie.

Day 15Friday, September 5, 2025

Hey Lathan,

Kinda the same gist as yesterday, but I’m feeling good. Charlie and I talked a bit about positive outlets for emotion, and he suggested I find something creative, where my energy can flow. It’s been months since I wrote poetry but…I think I’m ready.

Rot and decay

Is all that remains

After a storm

Of blood and snow

It rained down

On my desolate ground

And your ivory petals

Turned crimson

Though it hurt us

I know my purpose

To protect

My darling dahlia