Page 18 of Blood Loss (The Obscura Saga #2)

LATH A N

Blood moves sluggishly in Lathan’s veins. His heart beats a lazy rhythm, one of mutual hurt. Pedro’s words may as well have been his own mother’s. While an obedient child, it was never enough, so eventually he grew out of following the strict line his parents drew. He hasn’t veered far from it, but enough to be judged, to be hated, much like Pedro hates Kylo right now, or at least who he is and who he’s with . Being part of that pain is a lot; he’s a direct reason some of Kylo’s family does not accept him.

Lathan dropped his Quiet Boy act by the end, hearing the vile things a grandfather is capable of saying to his kin, and made sure the old bastard saw it on his face. The world knows werewolves are lethal creatures—even if much of the general public doesn’t know the intricacies of a full moon shift, like Lathan didn’t until facing Kylo head-on. So how is it fair to put an unobtainable expectation on one’s pack members? It’s not controllable.

If only you knew what I’ve done. If only you knew I had a choice, and chose violence.

He lets Mateo climb down his legs and scamper off to find a toy or someone else to busy himself with. Once the little body is gone, he feels cold. Empty. And with the bounce of Kylo’s knee beside him, overwhelmed. It bubbles a panic in his chest, similar to that of his blood aversion and the attack he fell victim to on the bathroom floor of their dorm. He grips the fabric of his jeans tightly, focusing on pushing the rising, restricting feeling away.

He doesn’t know what to say in the wake of the pack’s discussion. They listened to him, which he’s surprised about. He answered everything with information he knows to be true, but he doesn’t know everything. He considers his parents, how they erased his name from what happened to Trevor—however they framed it, he doesn’t know. And while Ether laws and regulations should protect Kylo, part of him wants to reach out and ask how they managed it. Even just his dad. But then his stomach churns with the reality that he wasn’t here to prevent what his mother recently did…or anything she’s done in the past.

He can only pray to gods he doesn’t serve that he knows the legal system well enough to be entrusted with the fate of Kylo’s criminal record. He doesn’t want to even think about what the pack will do if he’s wrong. Several of them outwardly criticized him and his partner. His mate. With the threat of Kylo splitting from the pack, he doesn’t know where that leaves them—what that means, truly, for a future together. He wants to be here for Kylo, always, but the more he is, the more he realizes everything is his fault. He makes every situation so much worse.

“Thank the gods, I was worried they’d never leave.” Patty cackles before downing the rest of her coffee and kicking back in her seat. “So what have you two lovebirds got planned for the rest of the day?”

“I, uh—nothing really.” Kylo shrugs a shoulder, wiping his hands on his pants. “We have compassionate leave from classes for the rest of the week due to the…notice.”

“Perfect! More time I get to spend with my favourite nephew and his new boo—no offence, Lucas.”

“None taken,” Lucas mumbles, spittle spraying around the sausages stuffed in his cheeks, still scarfing down breakfast before David and Maria can clean it up.

Lathan’s able to narrowly avoid a panic attack when he catches a small smile tug at the corners of Kylo’s mouth, and it actually reaches his eyes.

◆◆◆

Lathan busies himself from his thoughts by helping Maria and David clean up the breakfast food he didn’t end up touching. Eventually he joins Kylo with Patty and Chloe, piping in with a few words here and there, but mostly keeping to himself. Even though the two women are friendly, clearly more open-minded, he still feels so foreign amongst the pack. He knows he doesn’t belong. It weighs heavily in his soul, feeling a lack of home he initially felt stepping foot onto Garcia soil. His parents have never encompassed that feeling, never been safe, and now his new family isn’t either. He blames himself for it all .

By the time dinner has come and gone, the family members still remaining are tuckered out and call it a night. They all give their goodbyes—Patty making sure to give both Kylo and Lathan a hug as she leaves—and the two ‘lovebirds’ retire to the peace and quiet of the guest house.

Lathan lounges on the couch with a sigh, kicking his shoes to the floor and running a hand through his long hair, retracing the events and the words of the last few days in his head. Alone with his thoughts, he doesn’t notice Kylo slip into the bedroom to change into pyjamas until he returns and flops onto the couch with him, resting his cheek on his stomach.

Lathan welcomes his closeness without a word, simply dropping a hand into the mess of Kylo’s curly hair and gently petting him, massaging the pads of his fingers into his scalp in absentminded patterns. He leans his head back and closes his eyes, encouraging the stillness of just the two of them, the comfort of being on their own and away from mindless glares and poisonous judgement.

There are words he nearly admits— I’m glad they’re gone; your grandfather is a righteous dick —but he keeps them to himself. Nothing he could say about the pack would be encouraging or soothing. Like everything he’s done so far, he’d only bring more harm to Kylo.

“So…you want kids?”

“Hm?” Lathan remains static until the prompt sinks in.

Oh .

His fingers freeze, entangled in Kylo’s hair.

“Sorry,” he says, instead of answering, “I shouldn’t have blurted that out loud. The way he looked at me with Mateo—” His chest clenches, saddened. Maybe he is a monster, but he’d never hurt a child. Growing up, he endured enough hurt himself—how could he ever inflict any pain on another kid?

“No, don’t be sorry. I think you’d be a great dad.”

Lathan looks down at the sweet face in his lap. “Yeah?” he says, sheepish, scooping hair out of Kylo’s shining eyes. “Do you want kids? Because I’d be happy just being us, too.” And he means the words he says. While, yes, he can see himself raising children, his only requirement of the future is his mate.

“I never really gave it much thought until visitation day—seeing you with Mateo,” Kylo says, rehashing the memory of meeting Kylo’s immediate family for the first time. “I was a bit surprised when you said it today, ‘cause we’ve never talked about it. But, yeah…I want to build a family with you.”

Lathan smiles for the first time in hours. His heart gives one solid ba-dum as his desire for a family is reciprocated by the love of his life. He can see them together, with children, and it makes him hopeful—makes the hurt little boy in his heart hopeful. He wants to give them everything he never got. He wants them to be oh so loved.

“We should have talked about it first,” he agrees apologetically. The two have been together for over half a year already, which feels both so long and so, so not. Lathan doesn’t know when the appropriate time in a relationship to discuss the potential of children is, but probably sooner than today.

“No time like the present.” Kylo chuckles and tilts his head into Lathan’s body to better his view. “Have you thought about whether you’d wanna go through adoption or surrogacy?”

“No, I haven’t, really. I’ve always wanted a family. I don’t care if they’re my blood or not.” His eyes move about the room as he thinks. “I’d rather they weren’t, actually.”

“Really?” Kylo’s ears stiffen, surprised. “Why not? They’d be damn cute, that’s for sure.”

Lathan exhales a laugh. “Vampire fetuses are particularly difficult to gestate. They demand a lot from the carrier. That’s why most of us have no siblings; it’s too dangerous to go through a second pregnancy. I wouldn’t let someone risk their life for that.”

“Oh, shit. I had no idea.” Kylo pauses and looks away to ponder. “You’re right, I wouldn’t want to risk someone’s life either.” Then he nods to himself and determines, “Then we adopt. Or use my genetics…i-if, uh, you’d want that.

“A bunch of tiny Kylos? I don’t know if I could handle that,” Lathan says, but his smile and the twinkle in his eye is playful and excited. He glances into the small living room they’re in, imagining their future kids hobbling and crawling around it. “I’d be happy with your wolf pups.”

Kylo’s canines make an appearance as his grin grows and a soft pink powders his cheeks. “ Our wolf pups,” he corrects. “A family of our own. I’d like that for us. ”

Lathan hums pleasantly. I’d like that for us, too. He rubs Kylo’s arm as they lounge together, humouring the embrace of future fantasies. Allowing himself, in this moment, to be hopeful for a normal future together.

“We won’t be roommates in the fall,” he blurts, realizing that that future together is still a ways out. “With what happened this year, there’s no way they’ll let different species room together for another year. And they don’t take requests anyway.”

It takes Kylo a minute, but he tips his head again to meet his gaze, brows knitting together. “I cannot have a different roommate. Sharing a room with a man that isn’t you feels wrong.”

Lathan smirks as Kylo visibly shudders. It’ll be a full year of living together by the start of the next academic year, from being roommates on campus to sharing a cute in-law suite on his parents’ property.

“I don’t want to live alone again,” he sighs, staring across the room at nothing in particular. He’s outgrown it, the solitude. He knows he’s capable of more now.

A beat of silence fills the room as they both think, and stress, about not being by each other’s side—a truly unfathomable thought after everything they’ve been through. As protective as Lathan is of Kylo, he also knows Kylo’s instincts treat him the same way now. It would be torture.

“What if…”

Lathan breaks from his trance and looks at his mate, who’s abruptly sporting a cheekiness to his expression .

“…we rent one of those apartments on campus?”

Lathan peers down at Kylo’s suggestion. He studies his face, the way he nibbles his lip in anticipation, and then Lathan feels the corner of his mouth twitch. “It’s more expensive than living in residence.”

“I could try tutoring first-years, o-or I could see if the campus library has a part-time position open. Shit, I’m sure Eunice could get me a leg in at Benedict Bistro if I asked!”

The twitch of his mouth solidifies into an amused smirk. “You really want an entire apartment with me? That’s a lot more than a bedroom and toilet.”

“Uh, yeah .” Kylo snorts. “That sounds much better than our last setup—crammed in that tiny room like sardines.”

Lathan smiles fully and leans down to kiss his mate. “Then let’s see if they’ve started taking applications yet,” he whispers against Kylo’s lips.