Page 36 of Blood as Sweet as Roses

Paige

I twirl the vermicelli around my fork, but I can’t bring myself to take a bite.

Clarance insisted on bringing me a full dinner, even though I told him I don’t have much of an appetite. The only reason I came to the restaurant was because I couldn’t stand being alone in my room any longer.

After I argued with Crimson, so many horrible memories came flooding back. I spent the night crying, clutching my pillow, wishing with my whole heart that I could hold my mother one last time.

The pain never goes away, it just disappears into the background for a while.

I never tell anyone about what happened.

It’s a lot to unpack. I can’t believe I said it to Crimson.

There’s no way I’m not going to get fired, or get in trouble, for talking back to her.

I’m sure she never wants to see me again.

The sensitive girl with the addict mom.

That’s all I’m ever going to be.

The tears threaten to break through again, but I push them down. I don’t want anyone to see. Luckily, there aren’t many others here this time of night. It’s after sundown, and most of them are either finishing up their dinners or already downstairs in the lounge.

I lean against the dark window, the cool glass grounding on my forehead.

But a warm, excited voice distracts me.

“Paige, there you are!”

I turn, to see Eloise coming over to my table. Immediately, I stand up, and she gives me a big, tight hug.

“I’m so glad you’re ok!” I gasp, breaking away from her hug and holding her at arm’s length, looking at her throat. There’s barely a mark where Crimson punctured her airway. “You can barely see it…”

She touches the spot lightly with the tips of her fingers. “Murad’s blood,” she explains. “He gave me some once I could swallow, and I think it reduced the scarring.”

“It’s good to see you,” I tell her, squeezing her arm.

“It’s good to see you,” she replies. “Paige, I owe you a huge thank you. If it wasn’t for you, I would have died!”

“It’s nothing,” I answer.

“Don’t be silly,” she says, releasing me so we can take seats opposite each other at the table. “Your quick thinking saved my life. How did you know what to do?”

“I’m hoping to become a nurse one day,” I explain.

“You’d be an incredible nurse,” Eloise says. Then she shakes her head. “I just can’t believe I didn’t have my epipen. Usually I carry one around with me everywhere.”

I bite my lip. I don’t know if I should tell Eloise about our suspicions. I wouldn’t want to scare her, especially since we don’t know if they have any merit.

And now…will I even have the chance to discuss it with Crimson? Will she want to talk to me anymore, after I told her all about my mom, all about my views on substance use?

“What’s wrong, Paige?” Eloise asks softly. “Sean told me that you haven’t been downstairs in a few days.”

“I…just needed a bit of a break,” I answer.

A server brings Eloise her usual raspberry iced tea. She sips it, a concerned expression on her face. I can tell I haven’t fooled her.

I’m not used to having so many people who can sense my feelings like this.

Growing up, my mother always had a lot going on, and didn’t really have time to talk to me about things that were upsetting me.

Of course, Miles and I are close, but he’s younger than me, and I wouldn’t want to burden him with my feelings.

Blake…well, he was never the best listener either.

But Eloise watches me patiently. “Is everything all right with Crimson?”

I wring my hands under the table. “I…I think I really messed everything up, Eloise.” My eyes dart to the window, remembering our conversation in the rose garden.

“Crimson was telling me about how the vampires are planning to start selling glow, and I told her that I don’t think she should do it.

I told her about…about how substance use disorders run in my family, and… I think I may have crossed a line.”

Eloise frowns, a little line forming between her eyebrows. I wait for her to tell me what a mistake I’ve made. How I shouldn’t talk about my personal life with the vampires, how it’s unprofessional, how I have no place telling a vampire king how to run their business.

“You were the one who told Crimson not to move forward with the glow production?” she finally says, cocking her head, a curious expression on her face.

“Yes,” I confirm, my stomach twisting. “It was totally out of line, I know…”

“I think…” Eloise raises her eyebrows. “You should go down to the lounge, and talk to Crimson.”

My breath hitches. “Am I…am I going to be fired? Is she really mad? I’ve never told anyone about my past like that before…”

Eloise reaches out across the table and pats my arm gently. “No, no, Paige. Just go talk to her. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

“Ok,” I reply nervously. I trust Eloise, but she does seem to be calmer around the vampires than I think is warranted.

Now I’m anxious, and even though it fills me with dread, I know I need to speak with Crimson quickly, or this knot in my stomach is just going to get worse. I stand up from my seat, and give Eloise a tight smile.

“I think she’s in the lounge,” she says, taking another sip of her tea.

“Thanks, Eloise.”

I slip quickly into a high-waisted skirt and a matching crop top, and then I do my best with my make-up.

I have big bags under my eyes from spending the last few days cooped up in my room.

It’s more than my fundamental make-up skills can handle, so I finally settle for some light mascara and a quick swipe of tinted lip balm.

If I’m going to get in trouble, it won’t matter whether my make-up looks cute or not.

I hurry downstairs to the lounge. Chelsie and Sean are on the dance floor, and they wave me over. I give them an apologetic shake of my head, and I point to the back of the lounge, where Crimson sits on her throne. Sean and Chelsie both give me a big thumbs-up.

Crimson looms, intimidating and ferocious, over the usual festivities. My stomach gets gooey as I approach her. Tonight, she wears an all-black ensemble, a long-sleeved turtleneck tucked into a pair of dark jeans, a shining gold watch on her wrist.

How does she manage to look so effortlessly sexy all the time?

Her grey eyes find me in the crowd as I get closer, and she watches me with that steady, unblinking stare that all vampires seem to have innately mastered. The gooey feeling intensifies into a full belly-flip by the time I’m standing before the raised platform where her throne is.

“Good evening,” Crimson says dryly.

“Um, hi,” I reply awkwardly, fiddling with the hem of my skirt. There’s a long, painful silence as we regard each other. Then I decide to just go for it. What do I have to lose? “Listen, I…”

But I’m cut short by another vampire, the one with long blond hair. He appears silently beside Crimson’s throne with a scowl.

“I did what you asked, my king,” he says grouchily, avoiding her gaze. “And I think I managed to smooth things over with the independent witches, although they were disappointed.”

“Thank you, Alin,” Crimson replies curtly, but before she can say anything further, the other vampire has slunk away into the shadows of the lounge. Crimson watches him go with a scowl.

I clear my throat, a little annoyed at being interrupted. I know I’m a human in a vampire clan, but I don’t appreciate that sort of behaviour.

Crimson’s eyes flicker back to me. “You were saying?”

Mustering all my courage, I step a little closer to her throne. “My king…I’m sorry that I snapped at you the other night. I know you’re a…a businessperson, and that you have a lot of responsibilities to manage. I shouldn’t have lectured you like that. It was inappropriate.”

I know it’s good to always admit wrongdoing and take accountability in disagreements, so I want to start with that. But it doesn’t mean I’m letting her off the hook. I need to be assertive.

I take a deep breath. “But, I want to let you know that I don’t agree with profiting off of illicit substances. I understand that that’s how you make money, and that I may have benefited indirectly from that, but I just can’t stand by and watch something wrong without saying anything.”

There’s a shimmer in Crimson’s eyes. It’s subtle, but ever since I drank her blood, I’ve been able to notice those sorts of things. Otherwise, she remains completely still. At least she’s not yelling at me, and she hasn’t fired me yet.

Emboldened, I continue, my voice a little stronger now.

It’s difficult to say this, but it has to be said.

I have to hold firm to my values. “And I respect your autonomy to make your own business decisions. But I want to let you know that, if you’ve decided to get into this business, I can’t continue to… ”

“We’re not going to produce glow,” Crimson says.

“You’re…what?”

“I told Alin and the other vampires last night. The Night clan is not going to produce any magically-enhanced drugs,” she repeats, leaning back on her throne.

“And I sent a team of my best vampires take out one of Cedric’s warehouses.

They should be reporting back any minute now, but I expect they’ll be successful.

That should disrupt his supply chain until I can find a more permanent solution to that problem. ”

I stare at her, totally shocked. Out of every possible outcome, I hadn’t even considered this one. It takes me a moment to process. “Really? You’re just…you’re not going to do it?”