Page 18 of Blood as Sweet as Roses

Paige

“Paige? Are you there?”

The soft voice snaps me out of my daydreaming.

My thoughts had wandered back to Crimson, to the night we shared together.

I’d been thinking of the chill kiss of her fingers against my skin, the way our bodies moved as one, the way she’d coaxed orgasms out of me, like she was playing an instrument… and I was designed perfectly for her…

“Yes, yes, sorry,” I say quickly, fidgeting with my hands in my lap.

The therapist looks at me gently. They have rust-coloured, ringlet curls and a pair of gold-framed glasses sit on their pink cheeks.

“No need to apologize,” they tell me. “I know that talking about these things can bring up a lot of feelings. It’s all right to take some time to ease into the process. ”

Miles reaches over and squeezes my hand.

It’s only been a week, but already, he’s looking so much more like himself.

His face is rounder, more full, even though his eyes still have a slightly hungry, haunted expression.

I know withdrawal can’t be easy for him.

But he’s been doing such a good job, attending all of his group and individual therapy sessions, and trying his best to get back on his feet.

I can’t imagine how difficult that must be for him.

Joining him for this family therapy session is the least that I can do. I squeeze his hand back.

“I’m just so proud of Miles,” I say, both to him and to the therapist. “Anything I can do, I’m here for.”

“That’s wonderful,” the therapist replies.

“Often, we think of addiction as something individual, a relationship between the person and the substance they’re struggling with.

But really, it involves the entire family, and the community at large.

The more that we can identify and name the dynamics happening in the wider social sphere, the more we can support Miles through navigating his relationship with substance use.

” They lower their tone slightly, becoming a bit more somber.

“I know that for the both of you, this is especially complicated.”

Miles and I exchange a glance. I’m sure that the pained expression in his eyes is mirrored in my own.

But to my relief, the therapist’s eyes flicker toward the clock on the wall. “Perhaps we can discuss it further in our session next week.”

“Great,” Miles and I say in unison. Miles gets up from his chair, and I take my purse from the side table.

“Miles,” says the therapist. “Would it be all right if I have a word with your sister in private?”

“Of course,” he says. He flashes me a smile. “I’ll wait for you outside, Paige.”

“See you in a minute,” I tell him.

He closes the door shut behind him. I give the therapist a worried look.

“Is everything all right?” I ask them. “Is Miles…”

“Miles has been doing wonderfully,” they respond, with a warm smile. “It’s clear how much you two care about each other, and it’s great to see how much support Miles has from you. Many people struggling with substance use don’t have such a robust emotional support system.”

“I do my best,” I reply. Compliments always make me feel a little bit uncomfortable, and I tuck the hair behind my ear nervously. “I’ve done a lot of reading, but I know you’re the expert. Let me know if there’s anything I can do better.”

There’s a gentle expression, tinged with a little sadness, in their eyes.

“That’s what I was hoping to talk to you about, Paige.

You clearly do so much for your brother, and it must have been very difficult, especially after what happened to you.

I’m sure that this is bringing up very painful emotions for both of you. ”

My fingers tighten over my purse.

“Miles has been benefiting so much already from having someone to talk to in individual therapy,” they continue. “I think it might be good for you to see someone as well, if you aren’t already.”

“Oh! Well, I…I’ve never considered it…”

“You’ve been through quite a lot. And carried a heavy burden for a long time. Maybe there’s a place you could put that burden down, by getting support from a professional.”

I shake my head. “That’s very kind of you, but I’m all right. Therapy is expensive, and I’ve always been able to manage on my own.”

They frown. “Are you sure? I can refer you to someone who does sliding scale…”

“No, no, that won’t be necessary,” I insist, rising to my feet. “I’m sure there are lots of other people who need those spots. I’ll be perfectly fine on my own. But thank you for thinking of me.”

Their frown deepens, but they don’t push it any further. “Well, maybe consider it, ok? And I’ll see you next week.”

“See you next week.” I give them a tight smile before leaving.

Miles is waiting for me in the hallway, his eyes scanning a bulletin board.

It’s full of colourful posters advertising mindfulness sessions, crafting workshops, and more.

I’m so glad we were able to afford this place.

It’s one of the best treatment centers in Midnight City, with tons of resources and a supportive environment.

I researched all of the available options, and this one had excellent recommendations, and emphasized their trauma-informed, evidence-based approach.

“A little heavy, huh?” Miles says to me. “They really don’t pull their punches, do they?”

“They’re nice,” I reply with a shrug. “I know this isn’t easy, Miles. But it’s good to go through the process. These are skills that will benefit you for your entire life.”

He nods. “I know. And again…I really appreciate you paying for all of this, Paige. I don’t know how to thank you.”

I link my arm with his as we walk down the hallway. “Don’t mention it, Mi. I’m your big sister, it’s my job to take care of you. And I’m happy to see you getting the support you need.”

He acts like he’s doing fine, but I can feel the way he holds onto me, and nuzzles into my shoulder. No matter how old he gets, or how tough he acts, he’s always going to be my baby brother.

His cheek grazes my shoulder, and he pinches the thick fabric of my shirt. “Is this a new turtleneck?” he asks. “I’ve never seen you wear one before.”

“Oh, um…” I fail to stop the colour from rising in my cheeks. “Yes, it’s new…”

“Isn’t it a little warm for this weather?”

“You know I run cold,” I reply, with a nervous chuckle.

I didn’t tell him what I’m doing to earn the money for his treatment.

I don’t want him to worry about me, or feel guilty.

And I don’t know how to explain to him that…

giving up my blood isn’t as big of a sacrifice as I thought it was going to be…

Miles gives me an intense, probing look. “You seem…”

“What?” I ask, fiddling anxiously with my collar, hoping he didn’t see the two red marks on my neck.

He shakes his head. “I don’t know. There’s something…different about you. Did you break up with Blake?”

A pit of guilt lodges in my stomach. “What? No, I didn’t break up with Blake.”

He shrugs. “You just seem happy, that’s all.”

“You don’t think Blake makes me happy?”

“I think Blake makes you comfortable,” Miles retorts.

“He takes care of me,” I reply. “We’ve been together for a long time. When you’re with someone for a while, it starts to become comfortable, but that’s not a bad thing.”

“Whatever you say,” Miles sighs. Then he spots the door to the dining hall, which has a bright pink sign taped to it. “Hey, there’s ice cream sundaes today! Want to stay for dinner?”

I check my phone. “I should really be getting back. I have to be there for sundown…”

Miles cocks his head. “Sundown? Why?”

“Oh, I…I’m going to a…party with Amanda. It starts at sundown, and I have to get ready.” I hate lying to him, but it’s too much to explain right now.

“Ok,” Miles replies, letting go of my arm. “But you’ll be back for next week’s therapy session, right?”

“Of course,” I reply, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. “I love you, Mi.”

“I love you too, Paige!” he grins at me, then hurries into the dining hall.

I feel a little bad on my drive back to the mansion, especially after what Miles said.

Should I have gone to visit Blake, while I was in the city?

I thought about texting him, but I know that on Thursday afternoons, he’s always with his friends at their favourite bar, taking full advantage of their Thursday happy hour, watching football and taking two dollar shots.

I joined him a few times before realizing that it was not my vibe.

Even though I haven’t seen him in a week, I don’t know if I want to join him for that, and I don’t think he would cancel it to make plans for just the two of us.

I stare guiltily out of the car window. It’s only me this time, alone in the back seat with my thoughts.

I asked Eloise how to travel in and out of the city with no buses, and she insisted that I take the car anytime I need, as long as I arrange it ahead of time.

It’s completely new to me to have such easy access to transportation.

I’ve never owned a car, or been able to afford taxis, never mind a luxury limo and driver willing to take me anywhere I want.

At first, I tried to convince Eloise to let me pay for the service, but she insisted it’s included for everyone in their employ. Another one of the job perks, I guess.

The high, wrought-iron gates to the mansion swing open as we approach.

“Thank you very much,” I tell the driver. He’s the same driver who first took me to the mansion. It already seems like a lifetime ago. “It seems a little silly to drive such a long way for just me. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem,” he replies, but his tone is a little abrupt.

I wonder if he’s irritated that he had to take me all the way into the city and back.

But then he stops the car outside of the mansion’s entrance, looks around to ensure that nobody is nearby, and leans over the back seat.

“Listen…” he says. His voice is low, and his hazel eyes are slightly narrowed.

“You seem like a nice girl, so I’m going to give you some advice. ”

I frown, feeling a little apprehensive. “What is it?”

He scratches his ear nervously. “I’m not a vampire, but I’m…

involved in the supernatural world. This vampire clan…

they’re bad news. Some vamps are ok, don’t get me wrong, the independent ones can be perfectly reasonable.

But this bunch are…they’re ruthless. They’ll do anything for money and power, especially the older ones. ”

I shift uncomfortably in the backseat. “Do you…know anything about Roslyn Night?”

“The Crimson Stake?” for a moment, his eyes flash yellow.

I inhale sharply. Did I see that right? He gives me an urgent, panicked look.

“Stay away from Crimson, if you can help it. She’s one of the oldest vampires in the entire region, and she’s as bad as they come.

All she cares about is power. She won’t hesitate to end anyone who threatens her throne. ”

My stomach tightens. I don’t want to believe what he’s saying, but something inside me knows that there’s at least a bit of truth to his words. I’ve felt her power for myself, experienced her bloodthirsty ruthlessness firsthand.

“Even if you decide to stay, which I wouldn’t recommend,” he continues, “you should be careful. The last vampire leader, Xavian Night, was recently staked, and it’s created a huge power vacuum. Crimson seems to have secured the throne, but there’s always bloodshed when an old vampire gets staked.”

I nod. “Thank you, for the advice. But I…I need this job.”

He gives me a serious look. “Enough to risk your life for it?”

I think of my brother, finally getting the treatment that he deserves. I know that there’s no other way I could quickly make the money I need to pay for it. He’s the most important person in my life. Of course I would risk it for him.

And…I know that Crimson is dangerous, but so far, she hasn’t hurt me.

She’s terrifying, and I know I should be careful around her but…

a part of me also trusts her, for some strange reason.

She might be cold and cruel, but when she’s drinking from me, I always feel safe.

Taken care of. It’s a feeling I’m not used to, and one I don’t want to give up.

Could I just walk away from that, even if I wanted to?

“Yes,” I whisper in reply. “Thank you for your advice, but I have to stay.”