Page 119 of Blood as Sweet as Roses

“Well, actually, we already have one,” Renata replies. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a picture. It’s a little boy, perhaps six or seven, with ash-blond hair and dimpled cheeks. “This is Elijah, my step-son.”

“How precious,” Murad says. “Is he looking forward to having a sibling?”

“I think so,” Renata replies. She leans forward eagerly. I’ve never seen her so excited to talk about anything other than work. “I found a children’s book about becoming a older brother, that Lily and I have been reading to him before bed…”

I tune out her words. I don’t have much experience with children. In fact, I’m absolutely shocked that Renata has chosen to start a family with her human lover. It’s strange for vampires to have significant relationships with breathers. And the idea of starting afamilywith one…well, it’s almost outrageous.

But Murad certainly appears intrigued by the concept. He asks Renata a series of questions: how they chose a sperm donor, how she makes sure she can spend time with Eli at night.

Damien finishes off his glass and looks to the smartwatch on his wrist. “Well, look at that,” he says. “I should be getting to my crypt. Good morning, everyone.”

“I’ll take my leave, as well,” I echo, feeling strangely pensive as I rise from my seat. “Murad?”

“I may stay a while longer,” he says, clearly still invested in his conversation with Renata. She looks like she wants to continue, so we all say our goodbyes.

Celine and Damien take a separate elevator down to their crypts, and I find myself alone. It’s very late a night, almost the morning now.

It strikes me as odd, that Murad was so interested in Renata starting a family. He’s easily curious. Where I tend to focus on what’sworked in the past, he’s always been interested in new innovations.

But it seems like it could have been more than that. I think of how close Murad has been with Eloise in recent months. I know that he’s cared for her for some time, but didn’t want to make their relationship known when Xavian was around. I can’t blame him. Loving a vulnerable human is an easily exploitable weakness for a vampire. If Murad had ever had a disagreement with Xavian, I wouldn’t have put it past my Creator to threaten her to keep Murad in line, or to hurt her as revenge if Murad ever disobeyed him.

I suppose it’s different now. There’s nothing stopping Murad from having a relationship with Eloise like Renata has with Lily. Although it’s difficult to imagine ababyat the Midnight Mansion.

As soon as I think of it, my thoughts turn to Paige. I wonder if she likes children. If she ever planned to start a family of her own. I suppose she might have. It’s possible she still does.

But obviously, I could never fulfill that for her. I’m part of a very different fantasy for the breathers I drink from. One that doesn’t involve diapers or bottles or whatever else babies require.

There’s a little tug of guilt in my stomach. What if Paigedoeswant children? What if she wants to get married, wants a life with someone that goes beyond sex, blood-sharing, and midnight dinners?

Is that something she’s sacrificing, to be with me?

I’ve never asked her about her hopes and dreams. She once mentioned she wanted to become a nurse. I’m sure she’d be an incredible one. I’m sure she would be a wonderful mother.

It strikes me as a terrible thing, to take those hopes and dreams away from her.

And another terrible idea strikes me. The thought that, perhaps like Renata and Lily, her and I might have a family. That she could go to nursing school if she chose, still.

Instinctively, I push those thoughts away. I’ve never allowed myself to indulge in such daydreaming. It’s much too dangerous.

But to my surprise, a warm feeling lingers in my chest. There’s no Xavian to stop us. Especially here, surrounded by our allies.

Paige felt so perfect, nestled in my arms as I rested in my coffin. I’veneverdone that with a living human before. Had neverimagineddoingsomething like that. But it felt so natural.

Could I give her more? Could webemore?

I’m so distracted that I barely notice Kai when I get off the elevator. They’re coming down the hallway, all alone.

“Good morning, Kai,” I mutter, still engrossed in my thoughts.

But they don’t reply. Instead, they stumble forward, and catch me by the front of my button-up shirt. I quickly grab their arms and hold them up, concerned. It’s unusual for a vampire to stumble. Then Kai looks up at me, and my unbeating heart leaps into my throat.

Their eyes are completely white, wide and unseeing. They clutch me with sharp fingers, and the scent of salt wafts off of their skin.

“Kai?” I gasp. “What’s going on?”

They open their mouth, wide and gaping. When they speak, it’s with a voice I don’t recognize. It’s a hollow, rasping voice, like the sound of a shovel digging into fresh earth. Their lips move in an unnatural, exaggerated twist as the words tumble out of them.

“Night turns to day, and dust to ground…”