Page 17 of Blake University: HBCU Chronicles: Brynleigh & A.Z.

A.Z

I walked into Tyra’s dorm room and saw her sitting at her desk typing. Her curls were wet, and she was dressed in gym shorts and a sports bra. The scent of soap filled the small room, and I knew she’d just gotten out of the shower.

“They finally let you out of prison?” I joked easing into the room.

Tyra chuckled without looking away from the computer. “Finally. I have never been happier to see this room.”

I sat on the edge of Tyra’s bed and watched her type for a moment. Her fingers moved extremely fast as she typed her heart away.

“You going to say something, or are you just going to stare?”

When I didn’t respond, Tyra’s fingers stopped moving. She turned around in the swivel chair she was seated on and peered at me.

“Just say it, Azra. You told me so?”

“Nah, I wasn’t going to say that. I just want to make sure you’re good. I don’t know why you were drinking like that, but it scared me.”

When Tyra was released from the hospital, my parents made her come home.

For a week, they got a driver to driver her to and from school.

They only let her leave the house for class.

Seeing as how my mother pissed me off with how she treated Brynleigh, I didn’t wish to visit Tyra at my parents’ house.

It was the first chance I’d gotten to talk to her since she was discharged from the hospital. ”

“My entire life, I’ve been the unproblematic golden child.

I could do no wrong, and I was going to always make good grades, follow the rules, and make everyone proud.

For a long time that was just who I was, and I really didn’t have a problem with it.

Then one day, I just thought to myself what if I don’t want to be a doctor?

Then I thought about mom and dad flipping out.

Disappointing everybody, and the pressure began to smother me.

I spent my entire life dedicated to pleasing everyone else.

The moment I even thought about going against the grain, I literally couldn’t breathe. ”

“But for as long as I remember, you said you wanted to be a doctor. Ma and dad didn’t make you choose that career.”

“I know that, but had I changed my mind, they would have been upset. Especially because if I’m not a doctor I don’t know what I would do instead.

Work in a lab? Switch to a career in IT?

Like now, I want to be a doctor. I made the decision to stick it out but when I was indecisive, when I didn’t know what I wanted out of life, the only thing that made me feel better was alcohol. ”

“I’m sorry you felt like that, and I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t tell me. I’m the fuck up, so I know more than anything how it feels to have them breathing down our necks. They only want the best for us but at times, it can be too much.”

“Exactly. I had a lot of time to sit and reflect however, and I’m going to take school one day at a time. I’m not going to overthink or worry about things that I can’t control. When I find myself becoming overwhelmed, I’ll journal, read, or pray. Drowning my sorrows in a bottle is over.”

I was so proud of Tyra. She was back to looking like her cheerful, vibrant self. All it took was some IV fluids, much needed rest, and a break from alcohol. Her face looked slimmer, and she looked refreshed and full of life.

I stayed in Tyra’s room for another hour talking to her.

Afterward, I left, so I could go to the grocery store.

It had been two days since I saw Brynleigh and found out that she’d aborted my baby on some spiteful shit.

That was what it had to be because I didn’t have a dead-beat bone in my body.

My child would have been well taken care of, but she took that choice away from me.

I was annoyed with everyone. My mother, Rhia, Brynleigh.

And the messed up part was that I agreed with Brynleigh.

My mother was out of pocket, and Rhia was just a judgmental asshole.

But why take it out on me? Because I made the mistake of being a judgmental asshole in the past?

I had apologized numerous times. Running my hand over my waves, I released a deep sigh and went into the grocery store to handle my business.

There was a step show coming up in the next week, and I had practice every day leading up to the day of the show.

College was time consuming as hell. Add in the workload and extracurricular activities, and I was sure it was hell trying to work full-time and balance it all, but people did it every day.

After I left the grocery store, I went back to Tyra’s dorm to drop some snacks and drinks off to her.

Our parents had taken her car and wasn’t going to give it back until she proved she had her drinking under control.

Tyra could always use our father’s driver, get things delivered, and take ride shares, but I didn’t mind dropping things off to her.

I wasn’t psychic, but Tyra had finally been able to vent and get her frustrations off her chest. She didn’t have to carry all of those emotions around with her every day, and my parents knew the amount of pressure they’d put on her.

Something told me that Tyra’s days of getting wasted were over and that we didn’t have anything to worry about.

My heart went into overdrive when I saw three police cars and an ambulance on campus.

Wondering what was going on, I jumped out of my car forgetting all about the items I was supposed to be dropping off to Tyra.

Of course, there was a crowd standing outside.

I walked over to three women that I knew were members of Royale Phi-Rho Sorority.

“What’s going on?” I asked Alexandria.

“I heard Kandi overdosed on ecstasy. It might have been laced with Fentanyl. I think they gave her Narcan, so she isn’t dead, but it’s bad.”

My eyes darted toward the building that everyone was gathered around. I didn’t know much about Kandi except she was Rhia’s cousin, and she’d tried to sleep with me a few months after I broke up with Rhia. I declined because even if Rhia was foul, I want going to sleep with her cousin.

“Yeah, and I heard that Rhia told the officer she was with Kandi when she bought the pill, and she got it from Brynleigh. The police are going to be looking for her to question her. I haven’t even seen Brynleigh around campus lately.”

Fuck!

I was pissed that Brynleigh didn’t tell me she was pregnant and went behind my back and had an abortion.

That didn’t mean I wanted to see her in trouble.

Should I call her and tell her to stay away from campus?

Rhia was green and didn’t follow any kind of street code, but something told me that her snitching didn’t have anything to do with her wanting justice for Kandi. She had done it out of spite.

I hated popping up at Brynleigh’s place like a stalker, but when she wouldn’t answer the phone for me, and it was important, I felt like I didn’t have a choice.

I didn’t know the code to get in the building, so I had to wait around for someone to let me in without looking suspicious.

There was no one on the elevator when I got on, and I stepped off on the correct floor.

I wasn’t even sure if Brynleigh was home.

If not, I’d try the tattoo shop. Before I could approach the door, it opened.

Brynleigh stepped out wearing black leggings, a fitted black shirt, and in her hand was a black server belt that waitresses wore around their waists.

It seemed as if she’d gotten another job.

“What are you doing here?” her tone wasn’t confrontational, but she had a slight frown on her face.

“I just wanted to give you a heads up.”

“I know about Kandi, and I know that lying ass Rhia dropped my name. I’ve served Kandi a few times before a whole lot of months ago.

I doubt that she was still hanging onto the same pill.

And even if she was, I don’t sell pills anymore, they won’t catch me with shit, and it’ll be her word against mine.

She’s a salty bitch that’s mad she got her ass beat.

And if she keeps playing with me, I’m going to beat it again. ”

I was relieved to know that Brynleigh was no longer selling pills.

Why? I wasn’t sure. She didn’t even want anything to do with me.

“Brynleigh, I swear I can’t understand why you’re mad at me.

I haven’t spoken to my mother since the day she was rude to you.

As long as I made my wrongs right, how can you punish me for something someone else says? ”

“Because it’s too many someone’s, A.Z.” I could see the pain in her eyes.

“No one that knows you thinks I’m good enough for you.

The first night I met you, it wasn’t just you.

Your friend judged me too. I was just that ratchet ass hood rat that came to college events to sell drugs.

That’s all I was. I never cared about anyone judging me, but I’m also not going to spend energy trying to prove to anyone that I’m good enough for someone else. ”

“No one that matters is asking you to do that shit. I don’t care what anyone else thinks. And if you don’t either, we should be good.”

“It’s deeper than that, and you know it,” she shook her head regretfully.

“It’s cool that you haven’t spoken to your mother for a few days but what about a few months or a few years?

Why would you even want to deal with someone that would constantly have you at odds with your family?

You think I want to be with someone knowing that their family hates me, and they have to choose one or the other? ”

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel where she was coming from, but that didn’t make it any easier to digest. I couldn’t even say that eventually, my mother would come around, but I didn’t care if she never did.

“Brynleigh, you have a right to your feelings. Don’t ever think I’m discrediting how you feel. But what about how I feel?”

“I have to get to work.”