Page 100 of Billionaire Bachelor

I work with celebrities every day. I’ve become so desensitized, I don’t even get starstruck around the biggest A-listers anymore. But hearing a couple of morning talk show hosts discussmelike I’m one of them? That’s just weird.

And as if the Google alerts flooding my inbox weren’t enough, my family has been blowing up our group chat all morning. I scroll through our messages from earlier, shaking my head harder with every line.

Mom: Kudos to Logan on the statement, Rosa! It was SO romantic!

Sylvie: And

Dad: How are you doing, pumpkin?

Me: I’m fine, everyone. Logan’s statement seems to be getting the job done. The vultures are backing off.

Mom: I hope you plan to reward him later…

Sylvie: I’m sure Rosa planned on doing that regardless.

Dad: Are we talking about what I think we’re talking about?

*Ryan has left the group

*Sylvie has added Ryan to the group

Sylvie: If you think we’re talking about Rosa getting to the center of Logan’s tootsie pop, then the answer to your question is yes.

*Ryan has left the group

*Sylvie has added Ryan to the group

Sylvie: You know I’m going to keep adding you, Ry, so don’t bother leaving. Let’s call it payback for being a dick the other day.

Dad: Ope. She got you there, son.

Ryan: I hate you all.

Mom: Ryan, you’re 28 years old. You should be able to handle a conversation about oral sex.

Ryan: NOT WITH MY PARENTS!

Me: I’m with him on this one. We just went over this. BOUNDARIES, MOTHER!

Sylvie: What is up with these two prudes? I don’t have an explanation for Ry but maybe Rosa and I were switched at birth.

Me: You’re two months older than me, Sylvie. The math ain’t mathing on that theory.

Sylvie: Semantics. I’d much rather talk about blow jobs anyway.

*Ryan has left the group

*Sylvie has added Ryan to the group

Dad: You kids crack me up.

Mom: Hector…this conversation has reminded me that I could use your help with something. Meet me in the bedroom, hot stuff.

Dad: Be right there, my foxy lady!

Ryan:

Me:What he said