Page 20 of Beyond Repair, Part One (Damaged Duet #1)

Nina

T hey did not leave. In fact, they stayed for a few more hours.

I'm still contemplating the weirdness of yesterday, making it hard for me to continue reading.

I had a few bites of the nachos before I felt like I was going to be sick.

Making them feel welcome in my house was asking way too much when they just barged in.

But I didn't need to do anything for them to make themselves at home.

Henry migrated to the ground beside his fiancé, Trevor stayed on the couch near me, and Ridge kept his place in the recliner. For hours, all they did was talk to each other. I must not have said more than a few words, but it didn't matter. Conversation ebbed and flowed naturally.

I tried so hard to keep my eyes trained on the TV, yet I couldn't keep myself from stealing glances.

So many times I wondered just what the heck they were doing hanging out in my living room.

Aside from the occasional bathroom breaks, random phone calls, and trips to my kitchen for snacks, they stayed in the living room with me until I started yawning.

Something about having so many people interacting around me took all my energy.

Or maybe it was the ever present thrum of anxiety.

Ridge was right. They did make me uncomfortable; the whole time, honestly.

But there was a security in having them here.

Similar to when I'm in a room with my dad, my mind gets all fuzzy like it's taking a rest.

Huffing, I flip the cover on my e-reader and debate getting out of bed. Life is easier in the confines of my blankets. Until the doorbell rings and I have to contemplate my choices.

Ding-Dong!

Nibbling on the inside of my cheek, I tap the screen on my phone and see it's midafternoon. Sheesh, I've been stuck in my book for a few hours. My bladder screams, effectively urging me out of bed.

As I'm wiggling out of my sheets, the doorbell rings again. Grumbling, I fly out of my room and down the stairs. "Nina?" Kai hollers, setting me at ease.

Now knowing who's here, I unlock the door and fling it open before hightailing my butt to the bathroom.

"Are you okay?" So Henry's here too.

"Pee!" I basically screech and slam the bathroom door behind me with a boom that makes me jump. Once my bladder's empty, a blush heats my face and neck. Oh my God...Who screams pee like that?

Sweat beads on my lower back as I realize I need to go back out there and face them. How embarrassing. Why they haven't run for the hills, I'll never know. I wish I would have paid more attention to their conversations yesterday instead of zoning out and letting my mind shut off.

I can't do that again. I may have known them as boys, but I don't know them as men. Although Mom and Dad wouldn't have told them about me if they thought the guys were dangerous.

They are dangerous though. I'm terrified of the way they infiltrated my life yesterday. It seemed so easy for them to take up space and quiet my demons.

Yeah, they're dangerous. I can't let them in like that anymore because the look on Kai's face when I saw him watching my meltdown about near killed me. My emotions hurt him, and when I saw the sadness and confusion flicker in Ridge's eyes, my heart cracked right down the middle.

They may never inflict harm on me, but I'm damaged. I'll shred them just as Mr. M shredded me. They won't have the brutal scars I do; the wounds would be beneath the surface. If I allow them in, I'm dooming us all.

I've had enough pain in my life. I can't stand any more hits.

Having Kai, Henry, Trevor and Ridge here again has me closer to keeling over in agony. They are a reminder of all that I used to be. Every time I spoke a word yesterday, I watched hope flare in their eyes.

Soon they will learn there's no hope for this broken thing.