Page 14 of Beyond Repair, Part One (Damaged Duet #1)

Nina

T ingles race from the tip of my nose and through my upper lip, making the urge to itch incredibly agitating.

"Shh, sweetheart. Slowly now."

I feel my brows pull together as easily as I feel myself relax into my mom's lap. The tickles start on my forehead again and trail down my temples until it traces my ears.

"Mom," I murmur, unclenching my eyes as I come out of my panicked state. "When did you find me?"

She hums, her eyes damp with unshed tears. "Maybe five minutes ago. This was a bad one, Nina."

I nod as she continues to trace my features with her fingertips. She used to do this when I was little. Since coming home, it seems to be the only thing to pull me out of a panic attack without making it worse. I don't need deep breathing exercises or a cold shower. I just need my mom.

We study each other; me laying with my head in her lap and her looking down at me with so much love and worry it makes me feel guilty.

Mom frowns and parts her lips before closing them again.

I wait and when she whispers, "Do you trust me?

" The hesitation in her voice forces me to remember there were people here for me. To take me away?

My breathing picks up and before I realize what's happening, I'm sitting with my knees pressed to my chest. "Who's here?"

"Nina. Do you trust me?" Mom's voice sounds firm, like she knows something awful I don't.

"Please. Don't let them take me away," I croak brokenly. Her mouth opens again but I rush on. "No, Mom. I'll do better. Don't let them take me."

I want to stay. I want to stay. I want to stay! I won't go back! I don't care if it's the basement or the institute. I won't go!

"Stop, sweetie."

She reaches for me, but I bury my head in my knees, crying and begging for her not to give up on me.

"Trevor. Henry. Ridge and Kai."

My breath catches. Those names...

Trevor, Henry, Ridge, and Kai.

Their names...

"All four of them are here."

Here? Why are they here?

"Because they want to see you," she answers my unspoken question. "They've missed you, sweetheart. We reached out to them yesterday and said you were okay."

I'm absolutely not okay. I'm rocking back and forth on my butt in a small closet under the stairs with my mom trying to calm me down like a wild animal.

"I know we all agreed to wait until you were ready, but Nina...It's time."

It's time. It's time. It's time . I HATE that statement.

What about what I think about my time? I'm not ready.

I'll never be ready because that part of my life is over.

The happy parts are buried, and the bubbly parts of me they loved are broken.

POP! Each whipping popped my bubbles that made me a joyful girl.

I'm not ready and the guys are definitely never going to be ready to meet the new me.

"I think..."

Finally, I meet her gaze. "What?"

"I think they could help you," she says, but is that guilt I hear in her voice?

"Sheesh Nina, I'm struggling here, okay?

I wish I could keep you at home with me forever, but that would be so dang selfish of me.

Encouraging you to grow and to explore the world again, explore who you are, that's what a mother is supposed to do. "

If she cries, I'm gonna cry...

Sniffing, she quickly wipes her eyes before her tears can fall.

"I want you to have support. I would love to be the only one you come to, but you're a woman now, sweetheart.

An adult who needs more space to thrive.

And those boys? They just trampled into this house because they love you so much. They will be good for you."

But will I be good for them? The answer is no , but if they're anything like I remember, the four of them are awfully stubborn. They will push and push until they get their eyes on me, then they'll see.

"Okay," I whimper quietly. The sooner I show them how broken I am, the sooner I'll be left alone.

Now it's Mom who hesitates. "A-are you sure? I didn't think you would?—"

"It's fine." Why can't I speak louder than a whisper? At least the guys will get the full brunt of my issues. Shuffling to the corner, I wait for my mom to push the cracked door open first so I can hide behind her. I never said I was mature.

Still half bent over, Mom turns and pins me in place with an intense stare. "If you don't want to, Nina, tell me. I'll kick them out with a frying pan."

I really don't want to. Smiling sadly, I shake my head. "Let's go."

I know she hates how little I talk, but telling her the truth would upset not only her but five other people as well. They want to see me. Mom wants me to see them, so I will. The most valuable thing I learned in my twenty-six months of captivity is that giving in is always the easiest option.

She eyes me for a moment longer, then moves to give me space to leave my nook. I don't want to leave . Panic threatens to send me crawling back inside and the suspense of the situation is only heightened by the pounding of the blood rushing in my ears.

Keeping my focus on my hands as I crawl, I try not to throw up. It's silent beyond the drums rattling inside my skull. Every ounce of willpower I have to keep moving forward dwindles with each breath I take.

A dust bunny swirling around my pinky finger soothes me just enough to take a steadying breath, and as I leave it behind to stand, I shift my attention to plucking at the fraying string on my shorts.

My other hand goes to my chest in hopes that I can keep my heart inside if I press on it hard enough.

Don't look up, don't look up , I keep chanting. I love my open concept home, but right now, knowing everyone can see me makes me want to flee. Shifting to the left, I tuck myself behind Mom a little more as I try to gain control of myself.

My God...What is happening?! I can't do this. I CAN'T ? —

An audible gasp makes me jump and cower. "Neen?!"

That nickname, the one my guys coined and always spoke with warmth. It draws me up and out of my body, leaving my fizzing veins of nervousness behind if only so I could get one look at the boy who comforted me through every bump and bruise growing up.

Henry.

Tears blur my vision, but not before I realize that he's no longer a boy. Just as I am no longer a girl. His girl. His Neen. Time robbed me of seeing him grow into a man.

Four years and now his black hair is longer but still incredibly disheveled on top of his head. He's pale and his freckles have faded with maturity. He's painfully beautiful.

" Henry!" I choke out, reaching for him, needing him. But just as I planned, my body takes it upon itself to show him just how broken I truly am.

Darkness steals me from his embrace once again.

My knees buckle and all feeling disappears before I feel the crash of my bones on the floor.

Because that's all I am...skin and bones.

Nothing to offer. I might as well be the dust bunny spinning in circles on the floor just waiting to be picked up and tossed out.

I'll be tossed out soon enough.