Page 86 of Between Passion and Revenge: Part Two

Riale’s voice batters my guilt. I have no one to blame but myself.

I was the one who broke us. I was the one who sent Shae away.

Shae hurt me by denying my children knowledge of who I am, but I hurt her—hurt us—first.

And that I’ll have to live with.

The sound of my phone ringer is jarring in the quiet, so I snap toward the sound as if it were a bomb. Making my way toward the coffee table, I snatch my cell and growl when I see Riale’s name, my attitude going murderously dark.

Riale. I’m really struggling with the fact that I want to torture and then murder my best friend.

In many ways, I can give Riale more grace than I’m able to give Shae. It’s probably fucked up, and I should be able to see Shae’s side of things.

In many ways, I do.

But it hurts me in a place I rarely acknowledge that she’s taught my children I don’t exist. The reality is, I would love them deeper than anyone else on this planet, differently from but just as intensely as I love Shae.

Eight years. She stole eight years from me. And she might not see it now, but she stole eight years from Tempest and Raiden, too.

I reject the call, and it’s not seconds later when Axel calls me.

Why can’t I just be left alone?

“What?” I spit out as soon as I answer.

Silence on the other end ratchets up my agitation. I’m entirely too sober and too wrung out to deal with Axel’s goofy ass.

Before I hang up, Axel says, “So…big day, huh?”

I grit my teeth.

“Axel, don’t piss me off,” I grind out, and Axel chuckles. I head toward the bedroom, stripping off my shirt.

“Why are you calling me?” I ask, irritation growing because I get another wave of Shae’s sweet scent when I move the fabric over my head.

Shower. I should shower, but the idea of washing her off my body repulses me.

Shae Olivya Rivers is in my blood, in my DNA. There’s no coring her out of my soul, and right now, Ifuckinghate that.

Because while I can’t get rid of the ache I feel every time I think her name, she’s managed to find ways to erase me, not only from her life, but from our children’s, too.

I throw my shirt into a corner, wishing it were something harder, more fragile.

I wish I had something to break that’s brittle like me.

Fuck. I’m so goddamn fucked.

“I’m calling for two reasons. One: Are you going to kill Riale? I’d prefer it if you didn’t, but I can understand if you feel it necessary.”

I blink at Axel’s bluntness, as if he isn’t asking me if I plan on offing our friend. The thing is, I know he’s completely serious.

Friend. Riale thought he was doing what was best. The logical part of me can realize that. But the emotional part of my psyche? I want to go scorched earth.

“Nah,” I say dismissively. “He’s straight.”

Axel’s disbelief is loud in his silence.

“Next question,” I press, heading into the bathroom. I turn on the shower for the second time tonight.