Page 72 of Between Passion and Revenge: Part Two

“Tempest,” Yenn says, stepping up to me and placing her hands on her hips. “Come on, sister girl, or you’re not getting pain au chocolat when we leave this place.”

Tempest gasps and comes from the restricted area immediately, looking up to her aunt with pleading puppy eyes.

“Please, Auntie Yenn? Don’t take away the chocolate!” she says, her voice going too loud, and a group of tourists turns their heads toward our party. It feels like there are hundreds of people here despite us arriving well after the evening rush and it being Thursday.

“Well, behave,” Yenn says simply, giving her a serious look and then winking. I blow out a breath. Lately, I feel so out of touch with the kids. I know they’re growing and they’re curious, but I get this sense that they’re doing more than testing my limits, and I’m not sure what to do with that.

Spank ‘em, is what my daddy would say. Spare the rod and spoil the child, and all that bullshit. As for me, I will never cause them physical or emotional pain. Not if I can help it.

Grabbing Tempest’s hand in a firm grasp and scooping up Raiden’s in the other, I say to the guide, “Excusez-moi, Monsieur. Où sont les jardins? Pouvons-nous voir l’Orangerie?”

If we can skip to a place like the gardens where the kids can move around a bit without fear of causing an international scandal, I might be able to breathe.

“Oui,” the man says, spinning on his heel and guiding us past the impossibly pristine garden and toward the airy enclosure that holds Marie Antoinette’s orange grove.

“Enfin, l’Orangerie. Merci.” With a short bow, he leaves our group.

I guess that’s the end of the tour.

“Jesus,” I say, releasing Raiden and wiping my forehead with the back of my hand. It feels like everyone is watchingme—watching us. I usually don’t care what other people think becausefuck ‘em.They don’t pay none of my bills.

And yet, it’d be nice not to move around the world encased in armor, deflecting everyone’s snap judgments about me.

“Mama, can Raiden and I go look at the pretty flowers over there?” Tempest’s big eyes widen a bit as she looks up at me, and I squat, tucking my skirt between where my thigh and calf meet behind my knees.

“Honey, look at me,” I say, keeping a soft voice and trying my damndest to gentle parent through this moment. “I know you wanted to go to Disneyland again?—”

“Yes!” she interrupts.

“But,” I say, “You already went. And it’s really important to Mommy that you havethisexperience, too. You are standing in living history, baby. You’re getting to do something not many people get to do. I certainly didn’t get to visit Versailles at your age.”

She pokes out her lip, and I grab Raiden’s hand, pulling him to stand next to his sister.

“We can do all that we need and get most of what we want, right?”

I look between their faces. They’re fraternal twins, obviously, but I’m always taken aback by just how similar they look.

“Mommy.” This comes from Raiden. “I’m glad you’re here.”

I touch his cheek.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here earlier,” I say. Looking at both of them, I continue, “Let’s give it five more minutes. I’ll be able to sleep better knowing you had this experience. Okay?”

Tempest steps forward, her smile bright.

“Okay, Mommy! We’ll be right over there,” Tempest says. She points toward a bend in the Orangerie where a bloom of colorful florals climbs a trellis.

I stand, straightening out the invisible wrinkles in my paisley wrap skirt.

“All right,” I draw out, looking around. Luckily, there’s an empty bench right in the sight line of where they want to go, so I move us all toward it as a group and flop down with Yennifer next to me.

“I’ll be right here,” I say, offering them an inch. The twins flounce off to see the flowers and the sculptures nestled within.

“You’re doing a great job with them, Shae.” Yennifer’s soft voice breaks my observation.

I blow out a breath in response.

“I am fucking up a lot, too,” I reply. Before she can refute that, I hold up my hand. “Nope, don’t argue. I know I’m doing a lot for them, but I can be more present. I should be more present.”