Page 123 of Bellini Bound

The doctor continued, “During our attempts to quell her internal bleeding, we discovered that a fragment had nicked her uterus. Despite our best efforts, we were unable to repair the damage. Upon its removal, it came to our attention that the reproductive organ was swollen to about the size of a small grapefruit.”

“What does that mean?” Somewhere, in the back of my brain, I knew exactly what he was trying to say, but I wasn’t ready to process it.

Matteo’s hand came down on my shoulder. “Enzo, why don’t we sit down?”

I shook him off. “I don’t want to sit down. I want this fucking doctor to tell me what the hell that means?”

Sympathy filled the man’s eyes, and a quick peek at Matteo showed him wearing an identical expression of pity.

“Will someone tell me what the fuck is going on?!” I roared.

Hanging his head, the doctor delivered the fatal blow. “Mr. Bellini, your wife was pregnant.”

Was.A three-letter word that acted like a sucker punch to the gut and left me gasping for air.

“I’m very sorry for your loss. We were able to leave her ovaries in place, so—” he droned on, but I couldn’t hear a damn word he said.

“I want to see it,” I demanded when the fog finally cleared enough to think straight.

The doctor blinked at me in shock before shaking his head. “I’m afraid that’s not possible, sir. All of the biohazardous waste from the surgery has been properly disposed of.”

The dam holding my grief at bay broke, and I screamed, “Mychildis not biohazardous waste!”

“Technically speaking—”

He wasn’t able to finish that thought before I grabbed two fistfuls of his scrub top, lifting him off his feet and snarling, “Technically speaking, you’re lucky I don’t fucking kill you for not saving our baby.”

The doctor’s already widened eyes bulged, and his face drained of color as his mouth opened and closed soundlessly.

Matteo stepped in, forcing me to release my hold. “Enzo, I know you’re hurting, but you have to remember he saved Allie.”

I scoffed, turning away to pace the room, fighting against the rising tide of emotions swirling so violently within me that I grew dizzy, and it felt like I might pass out.

My visceral reaction to this news didn’t make any sense. I’d never wanted kids. But finding out that there was a tiny piece of me combined with a tiny piece of the woman I loved, only to learn its life had been snuffed out cruelly and without warning, changed me on a molecular level. A gigantic hole had been torn through my soul, and there was nothing that could ever fill it. I would carry this loss with me for the rest of my life.

“Hey.” My cousin’s voice had my head whipping around to find he was staring at me with a softness in his eyes that was usually only reserved forhis wife and daughters. “I’m so sorry, Enzo. I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through.”

My brain was misfiring, trying to comprehend this sudden turn of events. “I-I-I don’t understand. She was on the pill. How could she have been pregnant?”

Matteo calmly addressed my confusion. “Every form of birth control has a failure rate.”

Voice wavering, I asked, “How am I supposed to tell my wife, who may or may not have even known she was pregnant, that we not only lost our b-baby, but because she jumped in front of a bullet for me, she’s been stripped of the ability to ever have another?”

The man standing opposite me looked as shaken as I felt. “I wish there was something I could say that would make all this easier, but it’s one of those things where you have no other choice but to walk through fire to get to the other side. It’s gonna hurt like Hell and leave permanent scars on your heart.”

“I need some air.”

Shoving past my cousin, I bolted from the room, my feet moving automatically until I pushed through the door to a stairwell. Doubling over, I emptied the contents of my stomach into a well-placed trash can. Eventually, my heaves grew dry before stopping completely, and I slumped against the wall, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

Walking into this hospital last night, I thought my wife being shot would be the worst thing to ever happen to me.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Chapter 31

Enzo

FinallyallowedentryintoAllie’s ICU room, I was startled by the sight of her, fragile and pale, lying in a hospital bed.