Page 20 of Before You Can Blink (Rust Canyon #4)

Jett

August

“How were my best girls’ days?” I dusted a kiss first over Daisy’s lips and then over the crown of the baby nursing at her breast.

Though she’d been born bald as a cueball, Aspen’s head now featured a reddish fuzz at four months old.

My mother had worked herself into a tizzy, insistent we’d brought the wrong baby home from the hospital, but Daisy had been quick to reassure her that she had a few distant cousins who were redheads.

Although it might not be ideal on a ranch, where most days were spent in the sun, it was easily managed by investing in a good hat and applying copious amounts of sunscreen.

“Lazy,” came Daisy’s reply as I shucked my shirt, tossing it into the hamper. “Spent most of it eating and napping. I think she’s going through a growth spurt.”

With our daughter clad only in a diaper, the rolls lining her limbs were on full display. A smile touched my lips at the proof that she was being well-fed. At least that was one less thing to worry about, with the constant stress of ranch ownership weighing me down.

I’d known it wouldn’t be easy, but I never expected it to be this hard. Sure, we had the barn and the bunkhouse built, but we hadn’t yet taken the necessary action that would put our horses in the family way.

Simply put, Daisy and I were the only ones who had done any breeding on our breeding ranch. And that was something that needed to be remedied very, very soon.

Unfastening my belt buckle, I shoved rough denim down my thighs as I made my way over to the steel tub in the corner set beside the toilet. We were fortunate to have indoor plumbing at all, but there were times when I would kill for a wall separating the bathroom from our main living space.

Hosing myself down in full view of my wife and child, I quickly scrubbed the dirt from a hard day on the range off my skin. Once I was clean enough to hold my baby girl, I stepped out, dried off with a towel, and pulled on a pair of sweatpants.

“All right. Hand her over.”

Without hesitation, Daisy placed Aspen in my arms, and I cuddled her against my chest, skin to skin.

“Missed you today.” My lips moved over the top of her head. “Come on, let’s give your mama a break.” I slipped through the front door and dropped onto the porch steps.

This was our routine. I came home, took a shower, then took my girl outside for a bit of daddy-daughter time while her mama got a moment to unwind.

When I bounced Aspen on my lap, she squealed, giving me the biggest gummy grin. Her bright blue eyes followed my finger as I pointed out the birds in the sky, the horses on the range, and the sun beginning to set on the horizon .

She wouldn’t remember these quiet moments we spent bonding, but I would never forget them.

The door unlatched behind us, and Daisy sat down beside me, her head coming to rest on my shoulder. I turned just enough to press a kiss to her forehead, working up the courage for what I needed to ask.

And because my wife knew me better than anyone else, she remarked, “Best to get it off your chest instead of bottling it up.”

I grunted. “Not sure you’ll feel that way once I let it out.”

“Try me,” she challenged.

Here goes nothing.

“We need more mares for breeding,” I began. When Daisy remained silent, I pressed forward, “And we need to bring in studs to get them pregnant.”

“Okay, then we buy the mares and bring in the studs.” She said it like it was so simple when it was anything but.

Swallowing my pride, it pained me to admit, “I don’t have the cash, Daze.”

“How much do you need?”

God, I hated asking my wife for a share of her hard-earned salary down to the very marrow in my bones. “Minimum five grand, ten to do it right.”

Dusting her hands on her skirt, she stood, easing Aspen out of my hands. “You can pull ten from our joint savings account.”

“Daisy, I can’t—”

“You can and you will.” Her sharp tone had me twisting around to find her giving me a look that told me it was no use arguing.

“We didn’t move all the way out here to do this half-assed.

If it helps you sleep better at night, consider it an investment in our future.

” She hitched Aspen higher on her hip. “In her future. ”

Fuck, she knew which buttons to press. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for that little girl.

Guess I was going horse shopping.

December

I kicked my boots against the doorframe to knock the snow off them so I wouldn’t track it inside the cabin. An early-season blizzard had rolled through a few days ago, and we were finally digging our way out of it. Just in time for Christmas—Aspen’s first.

Speaking of my chubby cutie . . .

An excited squeal split the air, and I found my baby girl sitting in her playpen, extending two pudgy hands in my direction. She was a literal ball of sunshine, lighting up even my darkest days.

“Hey there, sweetheart.”

I pulled Aspen into my arms, where she promptly gripped two fistfuls of my shirt before snuggling into my chest. Her warm weight tucked against me made my heart swell.

And to think, there had been a time when I’d written off the idea of having kids of my own.

The man I used to be was a fool. It was terrifying to think I would have missed out on one of life’s greatest joys.

The unconditional love that I shared with my daughter filled my cup to overflowing on a daily basis.

Scanning the space, I frowned when I realized Daisy was nowhere to be seen. “Where’s your mama?”

Aspen’s only response was to smack her hands together. Clapping was her newest trick, and her sweet baby laughter did nothing to diminish the fear rolling down my spine .

It wasn’t like Daisy to leave Aspen alone for more than a minute or two, whether it be to grab more firewood or hang the laundry, and usually, she only carried out those tasks when our daughter was asleep. Even still, I would have seen her outside when I arrived home.

Something wasn’t right.

“Daze!” I called out, my throat constricting.

A weak moan sounded in response, barely audible over the rush of blood roaring in my ears.

With giant strides, I covered the entire area of the twenty-by-twenty-foot cabin in a matter of seconds. Only to have my stomach bottom out when I found Daisy behind the privacy screen we’d set up to cordon off the bathroom.

She was curled up in the fetal position around the base of the toilet, dried vomit visible at the corners of her lips.

I stood there frozen, my mind only coming up with one explanation as to why she would be sick like this, and that was the last thing we could afford right now. Aspen was the light of my life, but it was no secret that we were barely scraping by.

Roughly, I cleared my throat. “Daze?”

My wife mumbled something unintelligible from her resting spot on the cold wooden floor.

“You’re not—” Swallowing down the ball of dread lodged in my throat, I asked the question I was terrified to hear the answer to. “You’re not pregnant, are you?”

“Bug,” she rasped. “Going around class.”

A relieved rush of air burst past my lips. “Okay. Let me put Aspen down for a minute, and I’ll help get you into bed, then make some tea to settle your stomach.”

“No!” Blue eyes snapped open, her wild gaze fixed on me .

I cocked my head. “No to which part?”

Licking her lips, Daisy replied, “Take Aspen to your mom’s. I don’t want her to catch this.”

“But tomorrow’s Christmas . . .”

We might not have a tree, but there were three wrapped gifts tucked away for our girl to open in the morning.

Luckily, Aspen was more than happy to play with pots and pans, having no clue that times were lean, but I knew Daisy had put a lot of thought into the few toys she’d been able to purchase with our tight budget this holiday season.

A single tear tracked down her cheek. “I know.” She tried and failed to hide a sob that bubbled up from her chest. “The only silver lining is that she has no clue what day it is and wouldn’t remember it even if she did.”

Logically, it made sense, but it didn’t feel right. “I can’t leave you here like this.”

“Been down here a while. I’m sure I can survive the half hour it takes you to get to town and back.”

This fucking sucked, but she wasn’t giving me much of a choice.

“Okay,” I grudgingly agreed. With my lips pressed to Aspen’s ear, I whispered, “Say Merry Christmas to Mama.”

Our baby girl waved enthusiastically at the woman who was selfless to a fault.

“Bye, baby. Be good for Meemaw. I love you.” Daisy just barely managed to get that out before her body lurched and she scrambled upright to empty her stomach into the toilet.

When were we gonna catch a break?

When I returned, Daisy was exactly where I’d left her, hunched over the toilet bowl, moaning so loud it echoed off the walls.

She whined weakly as I scooped her off the ground, before setting her down on the bed. Her cotton nightdress was soaked through with sweat, and a press of my lips to her forehead confirmed she was burning up.

I peeled the damp fabric away from her skin, maneuvering her body so that I was able to lift it over her head. She sucked in a sharp hissing breath when the back of my hand grazed the side of her breast.

“What’s wrong?” I searched for visible signs of physical injury.

“Full,” Daisy gritted out. “Was just about to feed Aspen when I got sick.”

My gaze dipped to her exposed chest, where the first droplets of breastmilk leaked from her nipples.

Sliding off the bed, I became a man on a mission. “Where’s your hand pump?”

Fever-glazed eyes landed on me. “What?” The word came out slightly dazed, like she couldn’t understand what I was asking.

In my mind, it was simple. “My hands may be tied while your body fights this bug, but I won’t sit idly by when it’s in my power to ease at least some of your suffering.” My wife blinked at me for a full minute, so I prompted again, “Where’s your pump?”

A slow hand came up to cover her eyes. “Oh my God.”

“You can pray after you answer my question.”

“Not funny, Jett.”