Page 19 of Before You Can Blink (Rust Canyon #4)

For a moment, I got caught up in what it might be like to have my own son working by my side, teaching him the ropes—if I ever managed to learn them myself—in the hope that someday, he might carry on my legacy.

“You’re either brave or stupid for starting this whole thing from scratch.”

I turned to find Buck Livingston standing beside me.

“Try desperate,” I grunted my response.

Buck let out a hum. “That makes more sense. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why a young man like yourself would shackle himself with the life sentence that is ranch ownership.

Especially one who wasn’t brought up with the expectation of taking over one already established, like me and Winfield over there.

” His chin jerked toward the man barely able to get much done with three kids underfoot, all of them trying to “help.”

“Is it always like this? People showing up without asking?” I failed to keep the annoyance from my tone.

“No, son.” The relief that flooded my system was short-lived when he clarified, “Usually, we’re not too proud to do the asking.”

All I could do was gawk at the man old enough to be my father.

Chuckling, Buck shot me straight. “You’re a landowner now, and around these parts, that means we work together.

Today, we’re out here building you a barn, but tomorrow, Tanner might need help bringing in his herd for vaccinations.

It always evens out, and if you’re lucky, someday, you might find yourself in a position to pay it forward. ”

Given that I was likely decades away from offering someone a leg up, his words didn’t bring much comfort.

“You given any thought to a foreman? ”

“I’m more concerned about making it through the winter without freezing to death,” I muttered.

“Fair.” His head bobbed. “But if you survive that long”—there was a hint of humor in his voice—“you’re going to need someone you can count on, someone you trust.”

“I can barely house me and my wife out here. I can’t bring on help without being able to provide them with room and board.”

“Then I guess we’re building you a bunkhouse in the spring.” I opened my mouth to protest, but he held up a hand to cut me off. “I could see the chip on your shoulder a mile away. I know it’s the last thing you want to hear, but you can’t do this all on your own. It’s impossible.”

I scrubbed a hand over my face. The mere idea of accepting this much assistance had my gut churning so violently, I was certain I’d have an ulcer before the day was through.

“As it happens, I’ve got the perfect man for the job,” Buck said.

“Oh yeah? Who?”

When Buck didn’t answer, I tracked his gaze to find it had landed on Wade, who was flirting up a storm with Caroline as she helped Daisy dish out servings of the breakfast spread laid out on someone’s truck bed.

“Wade? Really?” I had my doubts that he could carry out such an important role. I loved the guy—he’d been my best friend since we were kids—but he wasn’t what I’d call responsible.

Yeah, well, neither were you a few months ago.

“Really,” Buck confirmed. “If I didn’t already have a guy, he’d be up for a promotion. Came to me green as hell, but he’s taken to ranching like none I’ve ever seen. He’d be a hell of an asset.” He clapped me on the back before beginning to walk away. “Do me a favor and think it over.”

Before he could make it too far, I called out to his back, “Any other advice? ”

When he turned around, Buck’s lips pulled into a thin line, and his neck craned to peek over his shoulder to where Caroline made moon eyes at Wade.

Gaze returning to meet mine, he said, “Pray your wife is carrying a boy. That way you only have to worry about one dick instead of all the other ones out there.”

While insightful, it wasn’t quite what I’d been hoping for when I asked that question. But at the same time, I sent up that silent prayer, just in case.

January

I squinted at the black-and-white shapes on the screen. I couldn’t tell this kid’s head from its ass. The images were blurry as hell.

Didn’t bother Daisy one bit, though, seeing as how her eyes overflowed with tears as she gripped my hand while Doc Stevens moved a wand through the gel smeared over her bare belly.

“How about the sex?”

My back went ramrod straight. “The sex is none of your damn business!”

Daisy stifled a giggle with her free hand as I shot a murderous glare at the town doctor.

“Honey, he’s asking if we want to know if it’s a boy or a girl,” she explained.

I tugged on the back of my neck. “Um, you can actually tell?” The monitor looked like static on a TV when the antenna got knocked off kilter.

Doc Stevens chuckled. “Bet this looks like a whole lot of nothing to you.” He could say that again. “But I’ve been doing this long enough that I can make out the parts just fine.”

Gently, I squeezed Daisy’s hand. “I want whatever you want. ”

Eyes flitting to the screen, she folded her lips inward in thought. With a firm shake of her head, she declared, “I’d like to be surprised.”

Well, that settled it. What was another ten weeks in the grand scheme of things?

April

“This is taking too long.” I paced the confines of the tiny room, both hands pulling on my hair. “Something has to be wrong.”

Daisy smoothed a hand over her swollen stomach from where she lay in the hospital bed. “Everything’s fine. If you don’t believe me, come look at the heart rate monitor.”

Feeling helpless and completely out of control, I stalked over to the computer that displayed both my wife’s and baby’s heart rates while spitting out a printout that tracked the contractions.

We’d come in for an induction late last night at Doc Steven’s request because Daisy was almost two weeks overdue, and he feared that if we let things continue to progress naturally, there might not be enough time to make it to the hospital an hour away in Enid.

He told us that while he had assisted in dozens of emergent deliveries in Rust Canyon, if my wife was at all interested in drugs for pain management—which she very much was—this was the best course of action.

Now it was closing in on noon, and after fourteen hours of labor, we still didn’t have a baby.

Eyes on the monitor that read a steady one-hundred-and-forty-three beats per minute, I grumbled, “Only takes a horse a few hours.”

Daisy huffed out a laugh. “Hate to break it to you, Jett, but in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not a horse. ”

I let out a displeased grunt. Her teasing did nothing to tamp down my anxiety surrounding this whole situation. “Can’t they do anything to make it go faster?”

She reached out to me, and automatically, I threaded my fingers with hers. “They already did. Now we wait for this little nugget to decide they’re ready to join us.”

I released a shuddering breath when her thumb rubbed soothing strokes over my knuckles. “You in any pain?”

“Nuh-uh.” Daisy shook her head with a smile. “They gave me the good drugs. I don’t feel a thing from the belly down.”

Thank God for small favors.

“Dad, we need you to help hold her leg back.”

In a daze, I watched as more medical personnel filtered into the room. How many people did it take to deliver one tiny baby?

“Dad?”

A hand landed on my forearm. “Jett, honey, they’re talking to you.”

“What?” I tore my gaze away from the gleaming implements that looked more like torture devices set up on a tray at the foot of the bed.

“You okay?” My wife searched my eyes.

Swallowing roughly, I looked at where she lay, legs spread with a doctor sitting on a stool between them, and rasped, “Feels like I should be asking you that. ”

“Hey.” Her hand slid upward from my arm, coming to rest over my racing heart. “I’m just fine. But I need you to take a deep breath for me before you pass out.”

“Can’t.” I shook my head weakly with the weight of an elephant sitting on my chest.

“Yes, you can,” she insisted. “Come on, we’ll do it together.”

My eyes slammed shut, but I heard her exaggerated inhale as she tried to coax me to do the same. A sound that could only be described as a whimper slipped past my sealed lips that refused to part.

Why was I so fucking weak? She needed me right now, and I was panicking.

“Wanna know why I’m not scared?”

That had my eyes popping open.

My wife stared back at me with a gaze full of tenderness and a love I wasn’t sure I deserved. Lips tipping up at the corners, she said, “Because I’m so excited we’re about to meet our baby. This is going to be the happiest day of our lives, Jett, and I love you so much for giving this to me.”

This woman. She could put a positive spin on anything, even when I was spiraling.

I dropped my forehead to hers, whispering, “I love you too, Daze.”

Her chin lifted enough that her lips could press to mine. “It’s time to see what that love made, don’t you think?”

Pulling away, I nodded my agreement.

“Good.” Turning to the nurse on the opposite side of the bed, she said, “I think he’s ready to listen now.”

The woman in pink scrubs offered me a warm smile. “You’ve got the best seat in the house, Dad, but I’m gonna need you to help me out.”

“Yeah.” I cleared my throat. “Whatever you need. ”

“You’re gonna hold Mom’s leg back the same way I do.” She made a show of demonstrating how she hooked an arm behind Daisy’s knee and gently pulled it toward her chest.

Tracking the move, I mirrored her actions. “Like this?”

“That’s perfect. We’ll do this while she’s pushing, but in between contractions, ease off and let her rest.”

“Got it.” Though it seemed like an inconsequential task handed to me on such a monumental day, I would do anything to make this easier on Daisy.

The doctor between my wife’s legs clapped her gloved hands. “Let’s have ourselves a baby.”

Everything became a blur after that. There was pushing and counting and grunting.

Words like crowning and sunny-side up and episiotomy were thrown around.

Until finally, a garbled cry split the air.

My lungs expanded with the first full breath I’d been able to take in what felt like days as the slimy, squirming infant was placed on Daisy’s chest.

In an instant, I fell head over heels in love.

Hands seemingly appeared out of nowhere with towels, vigorously rubbing the baby’s back, cleaning it of the afterbirth that clung to its bright pink skin.

Daisy’s head was thrown back, an expression of relief etched on her face. She’d done all the hard work in bringing our child into this world, and there was no way I’d ever be able to repay her.

I pressed a kiss to her sweat-dampened temple, my voice full of awe when I said, “I’m so proud of you, Daze.”

A shaky laugh spilled from her lips as her eyelids cracked open to reveal the glassy sheen beneath. “What is it?”

“Huh?” My brows drew down .

Fingers threaded through the short strands of my hair. “The baby. Boy or girl?”

I reared back, staring down at the little life we’d created together. “Uh . . .” Tugging on the back of my neck, I confessed, “I don’t actually know.”

“Why don’t you take a peek, Dad?” The nurse pulled away the towel, which had been obscuring the baby from view.

Extending a hand, I pulled up short when I saw how my palm looked extra-large compared to the tiny body. Instead, I elected to twist my neck to check between their legs.

Like I’d been punched in the gut, the word came out on a heavy rush of air. “Girl.”

A sob sounded from Daisy, and when I lifted my gaze, I found happy tears streaming down her face. “A girl,” she repeated, voice thick with emotion.

We’d narrowed down names weeks ago, so with zero hesitation, I brushed a kiss over the top of our daughter’s head, murmuring so softly only she could hear me, “Hello, Aspen. We’ve been waiting for you.”