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HEAVY – CHAPTER ONE

My bedroom door rattles on its hinges, threatening to fly open as my good for nothing half brother beats it from the other side. My lungs betray me, seizing up so no air can get in, and I slap my hand to my chest a couple of times, trying to force them to work. A cough escapes me as my body fights to breathe past my fear, and I hurry to my window, my fingers fumbling as I struggle to get it open fast enough.

“Open the fucking door, Ali!” he bellows, and a squeak escapes me as I panic and jump in fright, worried he’s about to break through.

“Shit. Shit. Shit.” I whisper, feeling hot tears burn my eyes before I finally manage to get the window open.

Hurrying to climb over the sill, Islip out onto the rooftop, desperate to get away before it’s too late.

Even though my heart is thrashing against my ribs, being out here in the open helps me to think clearer, knowing he can’t trap me. I carefully balance my way across the tiled roof as fast as I can, desperate to escape without notice before I climb down over the edge.

This has been my escape route for a little while now. It used to be my way of sneaking out to go and have fun with my friends. I never imagined I’d have to use it to flee, but that all changed when my half brother moved in unexpectedly, and the strange boy I used to know growing up, is now a sinister man.

As my feet land on solid ground, I can still hear him beating on my door, yelling. It’s not as loud out here, but it makes me wonder if our neighbours have heard the noises that come from my house lately. Or perhaps they are none the wiser, thinking us to be the happy family my mum tries to portray.

My phone vibrating in my pocket reminds me that Abbey keeps calling, so I hurry along the side of my house and out onto the path before I call her back.

“Lex. Where are you? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for ages.”

“Sorry. I must have fallen asleep.” I lie as I hurry to the end of my street, checking over my shoulder to see if Mike is coming.

“Only you would fall asleep when everyone else is already half drunk at a party.” Abbey laughs, and I laugh too, glad she can’t see my face and the lack of smile on it.

“I’m on my way. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

“Okay. You’ll find me at the beer pong table. Or by the fire, although that’s close to the shed where all the stoners are sucking on bongs which I’d prefer to avoid.”

This time, I do smile, although it’s only slight. “You already sound drunk Abs. Maybe steer clear of the beer pong?”

“No way. I’m the champion.” She sing-songs. “Oh, I have to go. It’s my turn. Byyyye."

The call disconnects, and I stop on the path, taking in a deep breath.

Fuck.

How the hell has my life come to this ?

Looking down at myself, I shake my head. I’m still wearing my skinny jeans and hoodie from earlier, and I can only imagine my blonde hair is a mess. The dress I was going to wear was in the laundry, but I couldn’t get to it. As soon as Mike saw me, he was in my face, too close, behaving too fucking inappropriate that my only other option was to get back into my room and hope he’d go away.

He didn’t.

My hands are still trembling even though my heart rate has eased, and all I want to do is go to the party and pretend for the night that I’m just like all the other seventeen-year-olds there. I need to pretend I’m happy. That I’m carefree.

After all, it’s what everyone expects from me. Lexi West. The pretty blonde popular girl with a perfect life.

They don’t know.

No one knows. Not even my best friend, Abbey.

Needing to keep moving in case Mike discovers me missing and decides to come looking, I press forward, taking the back streets where I can, and make my way to the party.

It’s at Tasha’s house, one of my friends. And I mean that loosely. Tasha is in our circle of friends, but I endure her more than I like her, which I know is fucked up, but if I want to hang out with my best friend Abbey, I need to learn to deal with Tasha.

The party has been going for hours now, everyone is completely smashed, and I get hugs from people I don’t even know as I weave through the crowd in search of my best friend. Unfortunately, when I find her, she’s a little preoccupied in a dark corner with Daniel. Her new boyfriend.

Great .

“Lexi!” Allison runs into me, throwing her arms around my neck and sending us both backwards, tumbling to the floor from the force.

“Jesus, Allison. How drunk are you?”I ask, trying to shove her off me, and she rolls off, laughing before Tasha stumbles over and pulls her up off the floor.

“What are you wearing?” Tasha asks, screwing her face up, not at all trying to hide her disgust at my clothing choice. “You’ve known about my party for months, Lexi. Why the hell are you wearing that?” She points a claw-like finger at me.

“What’s wrong with wanting to wear pants and a hoodie?” I ask, standing up after she doesn’t even bother to offer me a hand up.

Her brows shoot high, and she cocks her hip, ignoring Allison who runs off to hug-tackle some random guy across the room.

“You look like a homeless person. Jesus, Lexi. My party has standards. If you’re going to dress like a pot head, you may as well go and hang out with them.”

My cheeks heat at her insult, and my top lip threatens to sneer at her, but I hold it back. Like always, I keep my real feelings in.

“You know what?” I step up into her personal space. “I think I will go and join the potheads.”

I want to say that at least they aren’t stuck up bitches like you, but I don’t. I just turn my back on her exasperated expression and push my way through the crowd, heading to the shed where the stoners hang out.

I don’t know why I do it. I don’t know why I go inside. Or why I snatch a bong off some guy who starts cackling at me when I press it to my mouth and suck the damp smoke in. And I don’t know why I drop my arse onto the old, tattered couch and accept a joint off some other random guy I don’t know.

All I know is that I just want all the fucking noise in my head, and in my life, to stop.

Just for a while.

As I sit in the shed, with a haze of smoke hovering in the air, I finally relax and just be. I drag back on the joint, loving the burn as it seeps into my lungs, and the longer I hold it, the lighter I feel.

In fact, everything feels lighter now as I continue to smoke the joint. People talk to me, but I don’t acknowledge them, and I don’t even care.

Time slows, or maybe it speeds up. Lights are brighter but then they are duller. Sounds are muffled and it all just seems so easy.

It’s peaceful. Moving, walking, it feels both harder and easier at the same time. I feel tired, yet wide awake, and the stars in the sky look huge.

Wait? The stars?

When did I come outside?

It doesn’t matter. It’s nice out here. Less people. No one around.

Where did everyone go? Is the party over?

I glance around, fairly sure the streetlights I’m looking at are lining a different road to where Tasha’s house is.

Did I leave the party?

There’s someone here. I don’t feel alone. I can’t really see them, though. He—I’m pretty sure it’s a he—is more like a shadow. I can’t seem to see his face .

Smashing glass echoes through the silence, forcing me to sharpen my attention. It’s a hard task, given the fuzzy feeling in my head and the way my eyes struggle to focus. I blink fiercely, trying to clear my vision, my eyes locking on to the blurry shape of a hand pulling back through the now shattered window. As the scene before me comes into clearer view, the moonlight filtering from above allows me to see tiny droplets of blood splattered across the pale skin of a dainty hand.

Ouch, that has to hurt.

Normally, the sight of blood turns my stomach, especially when it’s not mine. Right now, though, I find the way the crimson beads over the ivory skin quite fascinating. I watch, transfixed, as the molten juice starts to ooze and trickle over my hand and down my wrist.

Wait…

My hand?

My wrist?

What?

“You’re such a badass!” A deep voice interrupts me. “A sexy badass!”

Forgetting about my hand, I drop it lazily to my side and turn to whoever dared to interrupt me while I examine the nectar seeping from my body. The shadow I saw earlier is here again. Definitely a guy. Why is he here, and where did he come from? Where did we both come from? And where are we exactly?

He’s laughing at something he said as he walks away from me, and the view of his broad shoulders gives me no clue as to who he is. I should probably ask him, but the fuzziness in my head is making me too tired, and I just can’t be bothered talking .

Through the haze clouding my eyes, I watch as the guy climbs through the smashed window into the building, being careful to avoid the jagged shards of glass protruding from the frame. He disappears into the darkened room, which kind of resembles a classroom. It’s hard to tell from outside in the shade of night and my lacking ability to see straight. The room doesn’t look as vibrant and as full of life as a classroom normally would, especially with the artworks lining the walls that are now devoid of colour. In this light, everything appears to be monochrome.

My feet shuffle on the concrete path just outside the building and I curiously watch the guy through the shattered windows as he lifts his leg and kicks a few chairs out of his way. Walking up to the wall of art, he laughs and rips piece by piece down, tearing some in the process as they float down to the floor.

I frown.

This isn’t funny. I know I should tell him to stop, but I don’t have the energy to speak.

Once he finishes destroying the artwork, he turns and stalks towards the chairs he kicked out of his path. I still can’t see his face from where I stand outside, and I squint, hoping it will help. I can’t tell if the reason why I’m unable to see him is because the night shadows his features from me, or if my head is really just that fucked up. I can, however, make out his form, which is now lifting a chair over his head.

What the hell is he doing now?

I get an answer to my silent question when he hurls the chair towards the bank of windows next to where I’m standing.

Time slows to sloth speed. The moment the chair leaves the guy’s grip, and sails across the room seems to take forever. The intense shattering of glass fills the silent night again as the chair explodes through it, coming to a crashing thud as it lands outside on the concrete path below.

The boy jumps and fist-pumps the air, calling out a loud “whoop.” He then turns his sights on me, his face shadowed in darkness except for the white of his teeth spreading into a smile.

“Your turn, Lexi,” he encourages.

How does he know my name? Do I know him? His voice isn’t familiar to me. Surely, I would remember his voice if I knew him. Come to think of it, why am I here again?

I should care about these things, I know, but I don’t. My body feels heavy and numb, yet light as a feather, and if a bed were close by, I’m pretty sure I could fall asleep before my head even hit the pillow.

Even as I think this, my mind flutters to what the guy did, and oddly enough, the thought of it makes my heart race a little. Throwing the chair through the window did kind of look like fun. If there’s one thing I like, it’s fun.

The chair that was hurled through the window only moments before catches my eye, and I find myself approaching it. It’s laying on its side on the path surrounded by shards of glass. Reaching down, I clasp the cold metal legs and lift the chair above my head. Turning towards the windows that still remain intact, I toss the chair with a grunt, keeping my eyes on it as it sails through the window, before tumbling to the floor inside the classroom. The sound of the shattering glass sends a spike of adrenaline rushing through my veins while the guy repeats his jumping and fist-pumping as he leaps out through the glassless window.

“Damn, girl, that was sick!” He appears in front of me, and the moonlight touches the side of his face, giving me a better glimpse of dirty blonde hair and brown eyes. He has a faint smattering of freckles across his nose that makes him look more boyish than manly.

Who is this person?

I tilt my head to study his familiar face, but I keep coming up blank. My brain flutters with the knowledge, but it’s not playing fair and won’t divulge the secret.

“Who are you?” My voice rasps, feeling dry and unused.

Confusion flits across his face briefly. Then he throws his head back as he laughs hysterically. “Oh man, Lex, you’re baked as fuck!” His grin is wide and pleased as he places his hands on my shoulders, turning me into the moonlight to examine my eyes.

I shrug him off, not wanting him to touch me. I’m not sure why I don’t want him to touch me. He seems to know who I am, and he’s decent looking enough, but for some reason, I can’t stand the thought of his hands on me.

A loud gurgle rumbles in the silence between us, and then he laughs, throwing his head back again.

“Damn girl, was that your tummy? You hungry?”

I shrug, “Yeah, I could eat.”

“Me too. Let’s crash the canteen before security turns up.” The boy nudges my shoulder, and we quickly lose interest in the classroom we just demolished.

A canteen with food sounds like the best idea, so I nod and follow him as he leads the way. As I stagger slowly behind, I gaze lazily up at the stars, trying to tune out his annoying yapping. After stumbling a few times, I reluctantly draw my eyes away from the twinkling sky and look around at my surroundings.

There’s an Australian flag floating in the breeze, and it looks familiar, much like the one we have at school. Cometo think of it, this place really does look like a school. I’m sure I’d be able to confirm that if my fuzzy vision wasn’t making it so hard to see clearly.

If this is a school, then why am I here at night? And why am I with this weirdo whose incessant yapping is irritating the crap out of me? He won’t shut up. I don’t know what he’s saying, and while I want to tell him to stop, I can’t find it in me to bother. My eyes are too tired, and my stomach won’t stop growling at me.

Am I getting hangry ?

The stupid thought makes me giggle as we come to a stop in front of two glass doors with the word ‘Canteen’ displayed overhead.

Oh good. Food.

“Shit, the glass looks thicker than the classroom windows. I’ll break my hand if I try to smash it.” The boy, who I shall name Weirdo, has a point, although his head looks thick enough to do the job. I giggle again, and he grins at me like he’s the one who just thought that hilarious thought, even though he has no idea what’s going on inside my head.

“I love this version of you, Lexi. Who would have known such a bad girl was inside this gorgeous prim and proper body?” He chuckles, giving me a lopsided smirk, which I think is meant to come across as sexy, but it looks the opposite and just makes me laugh again.

Eventually deciding that food is more important than talking to this weird guy, I look around the dark yard to find something to help us break through the doors. Keeping in line with the theme of the night, I spot a chair under the covered eating area and walk lazily over to collect it. Lifting it seems like too much effort, so I drag it, and the normally irritating sound of metal on concrete doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

As I approach Weirdo, I witness idiocy at its finest when he tries to take matters into his own hands by repeatedly ramming the glass doors with a flimsy tree branch. Backing up, he charges towards the doors with a grunt and nearly face plants the concrete ground when the branch snaps.

The laugh rips from my mouth before I have time to stop it, and his reddened face turns to me in fury, which only makes me laugh harder. Dusting himself off, he starts towards me, his hands balling into fists at his sides.

I get the impression he thinks he’s going to intimidate me.

Huh! Not likely. I have bigger monsters than him in my life.

I repeat my earlier actions and lift the chair above my head. Weirdo, using his brain for once, freezes in place, his heated face turning worried. Ignoring him, I lunge with force, letting the chair fly from my grip. Weirdo’s eyes widen right before he drops to the ground to duck out of the way as the chair sails mere inches from his head, before the knowing sound of smashing glass greets us again, and I grin.

Even though I don’t seem to feel much at the moment, I feel my grin. That was legit good!

“Fuck, Lexi!” Weirdo hisses as he rises and turns to me. At first, I think he’s going to try and act angry and intimidating again, but he surprises me and laughs. “Seriously, can I kiss you?”

I look at him, now advancing on me with a determined look in his eyes. I don’t answer, and before I can react, his hands delve into my hair, tugging my head close as his lips close over mine.

I kiss him back… I think. It’s hard to tell because I feel nothing. My face is numb, and my mind is fuzzy. I don’t typically let random gu ys kiss me, but then again, I don’t typically break into schools and throw chairs through windows, either. I’m not sure why I’m doing any of this. I can’t remember how I got here. My memory is nothing but a haze of fog.

“You’re a great kisser.” Weirdo draws away, his eyes flicking back down to my lips as he licks his own.

I think about his words and realise I must have been kissing him back. It seems strange that I didn’t feel it.

I shrug, not caring if I’m a good kisser or not, and step around him to climb through the broken glass doors of the school canteen. My food of choice is chocolate cake and juice boxes. He chooses potato chips and a can of cola. We don’t speak now that food is in our hands and filling our mouths, and when we are all stocked up, I follow him out of the canteen.

Walking in silence, we’re both too ecstatic with the food we’ve scored to care much about anything. I probably should care about a lot of things right now.

Like who the hell he is, and if kissing him is something I would normally do. I should probably care that we were just in a school instead of the party. And as we make our way towards the back of the school, where the shadows are at their darkest, I should care more that at any point, I could run into my brother, and if that happens, I should really fucking care about what he will do to me.