Page 19

19

D id I hear her right? She wants me to kiss her?

Fuck, I wasn’t expecting those words but I’m glad she said them.

“I’d love to kiss you, Angel, but why do you want me to kiss you now before you tell me?”

I study those big doe eyes glassed over with intense emotion, wishing I could see into her soul. Her pink tongue darting out to lick her lips draws my attention, and I watch as she wets them, perhaps in anticipation, which has me distracted until she speaks.

“Because I’m scared it will be the only chance I’ll get to feel the kiss of a real man.”

Fuck. A real man? She thinks I’m a real man?

I’m a man, yes, but not a good one. Maybe I should tell her in detail about all the bad shit I’ve done. Maybe that will help to remind her who she’s talking to right now.

Yet I can’t bring myself to do it.

Selfishly, I want to shield her from that darkness. I want to pretend I’m a better man than I am, but fuck, if she asks me, I’ll tell her the truth. I have a feeling I’d do just about anything for her, which once again is a really fucking weird notion. I’ve known her for a whole what? Five days?

Fuck.

Did I ever feel this way with Kylie?

Just thinking about my dead ex feels wrong while I’m with Abbey, so I push all thoughts of her away and concentrate on what Abbey said. She’s scared that kissing me now will be the only chance she’ll get to kiss a real man.

“You don’t think I’ll want to kiss you afterwards?”

She shakes her head.

Shifting closer, I hate that we are huddled on the filthy green carpet, but love how close she’s letting me get. With my palm cupping her cheek, my gaze roams her face for any last signs of fear before I speak.

“I will kiss you, Angel, but just so you know, it won’t be the only time. Once you let me kiss those pretty plump lips, I’ll want to keep kissing them until you ask me to stop.”

Her caramel eyes widen a little at my words, but I don’t hesitate for a second longer, closing the small gap and pressing my lips to hers.

She’s trembling under my touch, and I consider if I should stop, but the moment I shift back the slightest, she follows, her hands fisting the front of my shirt like she can’t bear the thought of me moving away.

I part my lips, needing to taste her, and when hers part too, I gently brush my tongue between her lips, and feel her moan around it.

Fuuuuck.

In a flash, my other hand comes to her nape, my need to control her and keep her in place taking over. Instead of fighting me, Abbey’s trembling falls away as she melts against me and deepens the kiss.

The moment her tongue brushes against mine, a growl rumbles from my mouth into hers, the animalistic part of me wanting to truly claim her. To make her mine. To never let her go.

That fucking thought startles me, and I pull back, because what the fuck?

Five fucking days.

Five.

Fucking.

Days.

How the fuck can I be feeling like this after only five fucking days?

It has to be because I haven’t been this close to a woman in three years.

But that’s not right, is it?

How many times have Celina and Wendy attempted to seduce me? How many times have I let them grind their arses over my crotch, and rub their tits in my face, just for my cock to remain flaccid?

Then there was that time up in Sydney when the bar chick caught my attention. She got me hard, and even though I didn’t fuck her, I about came in my fucking pants, but then my mind went back to Kylie. To that day. That awful fucking day.

The worst day of my life.

“I’m sorry.” Abbey’s timid apology shakes me out of my thoughts, my eyes refocusing on the here and now and the sweet-looking angel in my clutches.

Shit.

She’s not the only one that’s damaged.

“Why are you sorry?” I ask breathlessly, stroking back some blonde flyaways that frame the side of her face.

“I didn’t mean to get carried away. It’s just…” She trails off, her trembling fingers coming up to touch her lower lip and I watch in awe as she traces her fingertips over the beautifully plump flesh. “I’ve never been kissed like that before.”

Her words are a whisper, and fuck if they don’t twist me up on the inside in the best kind of way. I can’t hide the fucking shit-eating grin that tugs at my lips as I chuckle.

“You think I’m a good kisser, then? Good to know, but why are you sorry?”

“Oh… uh… You stopped so suddenly. I really didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

Jesus. What I’d give for her just to let go and take. Be selfish. Worry about herself and her needs instead of pleasing everyone else.

“Actually, I’m the one who has to apologise. That wasn’t on you. It seems I have my own demons.” I point to my head, and the most fucking adorable frown brings in her brows.

“You do?”

Cupping her face again, I nod. “I do. I’m sorry. And for the record, you’re an amazing kisser, and I can’t wait to do it again. ”

Her cheeks flare to life, even as her lips pull up in a smile that nearly fucking floors me.

Fuck.

Seeing her happy, even if it’s for a moment in time, is truly a fucking sight to beholden.

I should back away and put space between us, and not just because I’m having some sort of possessive attachment issue to Abbey, but because she is here to be protected. She is here to be given a new start away from the toxic life she’s been stuck in. She’s here only for as long as I can find somewhere more suitable for her.

I hate the thought of her leaving, but this place is no place for someone like her. She deserves better than a compound filled with a bunch of rough men that drink too much, kill on command, and sink their dicks in whatever holes are being offered.

“You should smile like that more often.” I point out, and her eyes drop to my chest as the smile slowly falls away.

“I’d like to. I hope that one day, it’s all I can do.”

“Hey.” I urge her eyes back to mine, stroking my thumb over her cheek. “You will. It’s just gonna take time. But you have to tell someone what happened.”

Holding my gaze, her doe eyes turn glassy, and she nods. “Okay.”

“Come on.” I ease back and stand, offering her my hand. “Let’s move to the couch.”

She takes my hand and lets me pull her up and lead her to the tattered piece of furniture, and once she takes her seat, I move to the kitchenette to get us a cold drink each and some chocolate.

I hear girls like chocolate.

We each take a sip of our drinks, and I sit next to Abbey, angling myself towards her, feeling fucking nervous for what I’m about to hear. I know it isn’t going to be good, and I already want to kill her fiancé and parents, but fuck, when she mentioned more than one person, she didn’t mean just those three. There are more people involved in what’s happened to her, and I need to keep fucking calm so I can take mental fucking notes of all the people I’m going to kill.

We sit in silence for a few more minutes, and I realise she’s stalling. She wants to have this conversation as much as she’d like to eat a bar of soap. I have no fucking idea what to do, but I need to get this conversation started, and not just because not knowing is eating at me, but because keeping it in is destroying her.

“You asked before if you’ll ever be normal again? If you’ll always see those monsters. Do you mean your parents and your fiancé?”

Her lower lip trembles, her eyes darting to her fidgeting fingers in her lap as she shakes her head.

I fucking knew it.

“Can you tell me who you mean?”

Her tear-filled eyes dart up to mine as her lips part to speak, but a sob lodges in her throat, and she shakes her head as she pulls her knees to her chest and lifts my huge hoodie over them to hide nearly her whole body.

“Okay, let’s start with something easier. What’s your fiancé’s name?”

“Daniel,” she whispers, but then angry heat fills her eyes. “And as far as I’m concerned, he isn’t and never was my fiancé.”

Ahhh, there’s the fire I want to see.

“How did things with you and Daniel start?”

She sighs, her expression turning bored. “He showed an interest in me, and I fell for it, basically.” She shrugs. “He was nice in the beginning. Patient with my inexperience.” She sighs then, resting her head to the side to lean against the back of the couch. “I remember thinking it was perfect. I thought we had this really strong connection, and when we were around each other, we couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves.” Her expression falls. “It all started around the time Lexi began spiralling.” Her lip starts to tremble again as her gaze locks with mine. “I swear I had no idea what was happening to her at home. She never said anything to me. I really thought her hate for her brother was just sibling rivalry.”

Reaching out, I rest my hand on her knee, which is hidden away by the hoodie. “No one’s blaming you for what happened to her.”

She scoffs. “Well, they should. What sort of best friend am I if I never noticed?” She shakes her head, her self-loathing evident in her expression. “A bad best friend. That’s what I was. What I am.”

Lexi’s words come back to me.

“She’s a good person. She’s going to tell you she isn’t. Be hard on herself for some of the shit that went down eighteen months ago, but you have to remind her that she’s still a good person.”

“Hey. Stop,” I demand, and her hatred falls away as her eyes round at the tone of my command. “I won’t let you speak badly of yourself, Angel. You need to remember that Lexi deliberately kept that secret, probably because she was ashamed. Does that remind you of anyone?” I point out and she shoots me a ‘really’ look with raised brows.

“Whatever,” Abbey mutters, and I give her knee a squeeze.

“So, you and Daniel were in a relationship?”

She nods. “Yeah. I was worried about my parents finding out, but when he told me his parents were members of the same church my parents joined earlier that year, I knew that perhaps I didn’t have to hide my relationship from them.” She shakes her head in disgust. “The stupid church. I don’t know why they moved from the one we’d been at for years.”

“What’s the name of it?” I ask, already knowing and hating this fucking story. There have been hundreds of random churches popping up across the country over the last few years, and not your basic Christian or Catholic church, either.

“It’s the Valley of the Trinity and Merciful Fellowship.”

Even though I already know, just hearing her confirm it has me rolling my tongue in my mouth to bite back the rage I want to start spewing.

Those fucking churches are run by cult like groups who like to enforce sick and twisted beliefs and make money off trafficking.

Knowing they are a part of that church explains a lot about Abbey’s mum’s extremist ways. Unfortunately, since Abbey has obviously attended that church and knows some inside information, it does put a bigger target on her back.

I’m going to have to tell Smitty the real reason Abbey is here.

Fuck. I should have already done it.

“Is something wrong?” Abbey asks, and I sigh, realising my expression must be giving away the fucking chaos in my head .

“No, sorry. I’m just processing everything.” I gesture my hand in a wave for her to continue. “So, was your mother happy about the relationship?”

She nods. “Happier than I thought she’d be. It’s all she could talk about with Dad, and before I knew it, she was having lunch with Daniel’s mum, and giving me permission to go away for the weekend to their beach house with them.” She shudders, and whispers, “I hate that place now.”

“Hey. Come here.” I offer, patting my lap, and a small grin tugs at her lips as she unravels herself from hiding in the hoodie, and crawls onto my lap, getting comfy and stretching her legs out on the couch.

“Am I squashing you?” she asks shyly, and I can’t help but chuckle.

“Angel, you’re as light as a feather.”

She grins back before her eyes fall to her lap again, where those damn fingers start fidgeting again.

“So when did things change with you and Daniel?” I ask, weaving my fingers through hers to stop the fidgeting… and also because I can’t fucking help myself.

“It was just after I spent the weekend away with him and his family. My parents were out. Weren’t meant to come home for ages, and well… ummm.”

I already know the story from the Angel sisters, but I want Abbey to think she’s the one that told me. I need her to trust me.

“Angel. Were you a naughty girl?”

Her big doe eyes meet mine, amusement dancing in them at my question, and I can tell she’s not thinking about what she and that fuckwit did, but rather what she wants to do with me .

Just to test my theory, I dart my tongue out to wet my lips, and she instantly tracks the movement, her lips parting as her breathing grows heavier.

I have to admit, I feel fucking invincible that I can get such a visceral reaction from her despite the conversation we are having. She’s clearly in need of a release, and one I’m determined to help her with, but first, she needs to lift this weight off her shoulders.

“What did you and Daniel do?” I ask, and the mention of his name severs the trance she was in, making her spine stiffen.

“Ahhh, well. You can guess.” She shrugs. “And my mum came home early and walked in to find her sweet innocent daughter with her legs spread and her cherry obviously already popped.” There’s so much hate in her tone, her lip curling as she speaks. “That was the moment everything changed. She lost her shit, got on the phone to his mum, and before either of us knew what was happening, we were told we were to get married.” She waves a dismissive hand. “There was a whole lot of talk about bringing shame to the families, and me being a whore, which I found utterly rude since no one called Daniel a whore. Just me for being so easy and giving it up to him.”

I can’t fucking wait to gut her mum.

A low growl rumbles in my chest, and Abbey’s unsure gaze meets mine.

“In my defence, I really did think he loved me. He told me he did.”

“Angel. There is no defence needed. None of what you just told me is alright, nor is it your fault. You did nothing wrong.”

She shrugs like it’s neither here nor there. “I guess it doesn’t matter now. It happened, and then my life changed. ”

“How so?” I ask, needing more details.

“My mum was adamant that Lexi was the one to lead me astray. They used to feel sorry for her, you know, because her parents neglected her so much. They didn’t mind that she stayed over a lot when she was little, or that they had to feed her. But when we turned into teenagers, things changed. They no longer liked those things about my best friend. Hated her music choices. Hated her messy hair, and that she didn’t carry herself like a lady. Hated when I went to her house for sleepovers while her mum was so spaced out.”

Her voice cracks then, and she takes a moment, clearing her throat like something is lodged in it.

“I didn’t help with how my parents felt about Lexi. I used her to cover up my own lies.” She shakes her head, dropping her chin to her chest. “When they smelled smoke on my clothes, I said it was from Lexi. When I got home past curfew, I said it was Lexi’s fault. When they found a love note in my school bag back in year nine, I said it was Lexi’s…” She trails off, a quiet sob escaping her. “It was no wonder when the shit hit the fan about Lexi’s home life that they refused to help. And the stuff with Daniel meant they used my pending marriage against me. If I put a foot out of line, the marriage would happen sooner. If I associated with Lexi, the marriage would happen sooner. If I disrespected them again, the marriage would happen sooner.”

Fuck. There’s no doubt in my mind that I’m going back to Fox Pines as soon as the lockdown is over to fucking slaughter her parents.

“Daniel’s feelings for me changed after we were sprung. It was clear he never really had feelings for me, and admitted later that being with me was a bet with his mates. They each had to make a girl fall in love with them and get the girl to give up their virginity within three months, at which time, they were to dump the girls and find a new one. The winner would get five grand at the end of the year. I was lucky number four for Daniel.”

“I’m going to kill him,” I mutter, not able to keep my thoughts in, and slowly, Abbey’s caramel pools lift back to mine.

She studies me, no fear in her gaze, but more curiosity than anything.

“You’re going to kill him?” she whispers, and I nod.

“Yes.”

She stares at me so intensely, for so long, that I start to fucking squirm under her stare, and then she says something I never thought I’d hear.

“Make it hurt.”

Fuck.

“I will, Angel. That’s a fucking promise.”

Her lips part and her eyes drop to my lips again, that need inside her once again taking over.

“There’s something wrong with me,” she whispers, and I frown.

“What do you mean?”

Her gaze shoots back to mine as she whispers again. “I ache.”

Fuuuuck. Even her tone sounds like it’s in pain as she admits to the arousal coursing inside her.

“I know you do, Angel. And I promise to help take it away as soon as you’re ready.”

She rubs her thighs together, the movement making the globes of her arse rub against my crotch, and my cock instantly awakens .

“Maybe I’m ready now,” she whispers again, and the edge of unsureness in her tone tells me everything I need to know.

“Not just yet. But I think you’ll be ready soon.”

She chews on her lower lip, keeping it trapped under her teeth for a few long beats, but then she snaps herself out of it, releasing her lip and sucking in a deep breath.

“You doing okay?” I ask, and she nods.

“You’re a distraction.”

Her admission has me throwing back my head, my laugh loud in my room, and that pretty fucking smile quirks up her own lips.

“I’m not the only one that’s a distraction.”

She blushes, ducking her head, and a moment later, all the colour drains from her face.

“Angel?”

“There’s so much more,” she whispers, shaking her head.

“Just take your time.” I suggest, hoping it prompts her to finish telling me what happened to her.

“Daniel was mad about being forced into an engagement with me, naturally. So was I.” She explains, watching her fingers fidget again. “I wondered why I was the only one asking why it had to be that way. Why he wasn’t arguing or fighting the decision our parents were making?” She shrugs as she scoffs. “Turns out he’s fuelled by money. There’s a trust he gets access to when he’s twenty-one, but his father threatened that he won’t get a cent of it if he doesn’t fall into line and do as he’s told.” Her eyes come back up to mine. “So, he fell into line.”

She takes a moment, her eyes going distant, like she’s trying to recall a memory.

“I can’t actually remember the first time it happened. Daniel had turned so much hate towards me, that I figured he’d never want to touch me again, but our families kept forcing us to spend time together, and eventually, he decided that if he was being forced to marry me, then he owns me, and can do as he pleases.” She sighs, dropping her gaze to my chest. “So he started forcing me… you know… in the bedroom.”

“He raped you,” I state, and she shrugs, so I jut her chin up with my fingers and catch her gaze. “He raped you, Abbey.”

“Mum said it wasn’t rape because I was to be his wife, and part of my duty to him was letting him have his way with me. She asked me why it matters when I’m already so good at being a whore that it shouldn’t bother me.”

She chokes up then, and I pull her to me, wrapping my arms around her slight frame as she cries into the crook of my neck, while I try to keep my fury reined in.

I should have killed that fucking bitch. She is so much worse than I realised.

“Why does she hate me so much?” Abbey chokes out through her sobs, and I hold her closer, her head in the crook of my neck as I press my lips to her hair again.

“Fuck, Angel. Your mum is messed up.” I try to make excuses for the bitch of a woman just so Abbey doesn’t think there’s actually something wrong with her. “She doesn’t deserve your tears.”

“I know, but it just hurts so much, knowing how she used to be with me, and how she is with me now.”

“I know it does,” I say, not knowing what else to fucking say.

This is so fucking messed up, and I know we haven’t even touched the surface yet. It fucking kills me to see, hear, and feel the pain emanating from this sweet soul .

I hold her for a long time, until her tears stop falling and her cries fall silent, and just when I think she must have fallen asleep, her whisper meets my ears.

“It happened three times.”

I stiffen.

“What happened three times?” I ask, shifting to tug her back so I can see her face, but she doesn’t let me move, obviously wanting to keep her face hidden in my neck.

“The first time was my birthday, when I turned eighteen. My birthday was during one of the lockdowns, so I thought it would be nice and quiet, but then, despite the rules set in place, my mum gave me a pill and told me to take it.”

A shudder ripples through her, and I know she’s reliving that day in her head.

“I did, not knowing what it was, but I took it because she’s my mum, and she told me to.” She shrugs against me. “Soon after, I felt really relaxed and tired. She put me in the car and drove me to Daniel’s house on the outskirts of town. She didn’t even take me into the house, just told me to get out and she drove away. I wasn’t sure what was happening, but then Daniel appeared and led me to their big shed. Half of it is decked out as a party space, and inside, were his friends…” She trails off, and I swear my fucking blood turns to ice in my veins.

“What happened?” I whisper this time, and a sob leaps from her throat right before she lurches off me and runs for the bathroom.