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I wake to a gentle brush of fingers gliding up my abs and over my chest. I assume Abbey doesn’t know I’m awake since her fingers don’t stop exploring, which is why I keep my eyes closed and breathing slow.

I don’t want her to stop. I don’t want to scare her away and think she can’t touch me like this. Fuck, if she wanted to drag a blade over my skin, I think I’d fucking let her.

The graze of her fingers shifts south, going back down over my ribs, moving closer to the towel still secured around my waist.

Of course, my cock starts to wake the fuck up. I feel it swelling, stretching, hardening under the towel, and I have to wonder if she can see it as those delicate fingers linger at the top of the fabric covering my bottom half .

I’m about to ask her to take the towel off when I feel it shift, and I fucking hold my breath, not wanting her to stop as she slowly eases the fabric apart.

A small gasp falls from her, and for a long moment, nothing happens.

I want to open my eyes, but I don’t want to scare her off. I want her to do whatever the fuck she wants, without shame, so I keep really fucking still, not knowing what she’s doing right now.

Is she looking at my face for a reaction?

Is she staring at my cock?

Does she want to touch it?

That’s when I feel the mattress shift a little, the brush of her bare legs against my hip sending a ripple of excitement through me.

What the fuck is happening right now? Am I a fucking teenager? I feel like it with that fucking flutter in my chest, yet still, I don’t move. I don’t make a sound. I wait.

There’s a few long beats before anything happens, and it’s too late to prepare myself when her gentle touch presses to the tip of my cock.

The fucker jerks, and she gasps again, the bed shifting like she drew her hand away quickly.

Fuuuck, I want her hands on me.

Come on, Angel. Do it again.

As if she can hear my thoughts, the mattress shifts again, and this time when she touches my hard length, I’m prepared.

Her fingers start gently gliding up and down over my straining flesh, the feather-like touch teasing the fuck outta me before her palm presses to it and she slowly wraps her hand around me.

Fuuuck yes .

Gritting my teeth, I will my body to remain completely still and not get carried away by the fact my Angel has my cock in her hand. There’ll be time to celebrate later, but for now, she just needs to explore of her own free will.

Slowly, my heavy length is lifted upright before her grip tightens and she starts to ease her hand up and down my cock.

Fuck. I’m quickly losing my control, and I know my breathing has quickened, which she must notice because she speaks.

“Are you awake?”

“Yes, Angel,” I rasp, keeping my eyes shut.

“Should I stop?”

FUCK NO!

“Only if you want to,” I say instead, fucking surprised by my self-control.

“I don’t want to,” she says, and I swear, I relax and let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

“Then don’t,” I say through clenched teeth as she starts working her dainty grip over my cock again.

“Will you keep your eyes closed?” she asks, and even though her words are soft and quiet, she doesn’t sound as timid as I thought she was.

“If that’s what you prefer?”

“Yes.” She squeezes my cock tighter this time, right from the tip to base and back up again.

Fuuuuck. I’m going to arrive too fucking fast at this rate.

“Okay, Angel,” I groan as she works over my length again.

It feels fucking fantastic having her touching me like this. To be honest, I didn’t think she had it in her. And not because she’s a prude or anything, but because she’s been abused. The very thing she’s stroking has been used against her by other men and I would think it’s fucking natural to be turned off by it, or never want to touch one again.

But here she fucking is, blowing my mind, and I’m not about to take this away from her. If I can do this for her and give her back some of the power she’s lost, then I’ll do it a thousand fucking times over. And not just so I can get off. Hell, if she stopped right before I came, I wouldn’t fucking care. All I care about is how she feels.

Risking a glance, I part my left lid slightly since it’s the one least swollen, letting my eye adjust to the darkness, and the low hue of the courtyard light filtering in through the curtains.

She’s sitting on the bed next to me, probably with her legs crossed, if I have to guess. It’s hard to tell with my fucking hoodie engulfing her. I wish she’d take it off. She wears it like armour, and while I do like her wearing my clothes, I kind of wish she’d take it off around me.

Her hand squeezing my cock as she slides it down has me moaning, Abbey’s eyes transfixed on my erection in her hand, rather than my face where she’d spring me watching.

Fuck, she’s beautiful.

Granted, the light is low, but she’s always beautiful, and the last few days the colour has started to return to her skin, and she’s been eating more, the sustenance already making her look healthier.

Her tongue darts out to wet her lips before she bites down on her lower one, moving her hand a little faster as she pumps me.

“Fuck, Angel. Your hand feels so good.” I tell her, wanting her to feel good about what she’s doing.

Abbey’ s head darts in my direction, but I manage to close my eye before she springs me watching, and she shifts on the bed like she’s trying to get closer.

“I’m not hurting you?” she asks, curiosity lacing her tone.

“Fuck no.” I grit through clenched teeth. “I’ve been aching to feel you touch me like this.”

“Really?” she asks, my admission clearly surprising her.

“Fuck, yes, really.”

Not able to control myself, I thrust up, meeting the pump of her hand and she starts working it faster.

Parting my single lid again, I see her focused on my cock, her eyes hungry from what I can see of them. Watching. Anticipating.

Her breathing is rapid. Her chest rising and falling quickly, like she too is struggling to maintain her control.

What I’d give for her to let go.

Fuck, just the thought has my nuts tightening, the familiar tingling at the base of my spine preparing me for my pending climax.

“Fuuuck, Angel. That feels so good.” I admit, unashamed. “Can I come?”

“Yes, pleeease.”

Oh fuck. The beg in her tone is what undoes me.

“Grip my cock tighter,” I demand, and she does, obeying quickly.

“Pump faster,” I demand, and she does that too.

“Fuck yes. Your hand feels so good around my cock, Angel.”

She whimpers, her hand pistoning around my erection, and pleasure erupts deep inside me, drawing my balls high as I roar.

I force my eyes wide, not wanting to miss this, and I watch my cum shoot from my cock, so fucking high it must be a new fucking record, and Abbey’s eyes widen brightly, watching as each rope of cream jets from the eye of my pulsing cock.

“Fuck, Angel.” I pant as the waves subside, my breaths loud in the room. “That felt amazing.”

My white seed is oozing down over her hand and back down my shaft to pool at the base, while more of it remains in its splatter pattern where it came to rest from the first few explosive eruptions over my abs, thighs, and even some on Abbey’s bare knees.

A small grin kicks up her lips as she looks at me, her hand still wrapped around my cock as it starts to soften.

“That was… something else,” she admits before dragging her gaze back to my cock and gently laying it to rest on my lower abdomen.

“A good something else, or a bad something else?” I ask, wanting to keep her here in this space of confidence.

“Good. Definitely good,” she admits, running her fingers through the white substance coating my skin, making my cock jerk from its sensitivity.

“You wanna taste it?” I ask, daringly, loving the way her cheeks flush red.

Yeah, she does. She just doesn’t want to admit it.

“It’s okay. You can if you want.” I gesture my head to my cock when she looks at me in surprise.

Biting her lip in thought, she releases it and brings her coated finger up to hover before her lips, her caramel gaze shooting back to mine as she flicks her tongue out and tastes my cum .

Her brows shoot up, meanwhile my cock is reawakening, for fuck’s sake.

“Not so bad, huh?”

She smiles and nods. “Better than I remember.”

Fuck.

Just hearing that makes me want to fucking kill.

The thought she has tasted anyone else’s cum is bad enough, but I have a really fucking bad feeling that her experience wasn’t consensual.

Grinding my teeth, I work for control as she returns her stare to my cock.

Okay. Calm the fuck down. I can’t change the past, but I have her right here, right now, clearly curious about sex, which is a good thing. She obviously feels comfortable with me or she wouldn’t be doing this.

One thing is for sure, over the past few days, she’s been really fucking randy. Being in this environment where sex, especially open-door sex, is such a regular occurrence, it’s no wonder she’s been feeling this way despite her past.

She bites her lip again as she glides her finger through my cooling cum, and I wonder if biting her lip is a tell for her. An arousal tell.

I’ll have to keep my eye out for that.

“Are you horny, Angel?” I pry, hoping she’ll be honest.

“Yes,” she admits so quickly that her brows shoot up again, surprising herself.

I bite back my smirk as she eyes me warily, like she’s worried about how I’ll react to her admission.

“Do you want me to touch you ?”

Her frown is instant at my words .

“I-uh… I’m not sure.”

“You can control my hand if you like,” I suggest, holding up my hand closest to her. “Pretend my fingers are yours, and you can move them however you want. I won’t do anything but give you my hand.”

She stares at me for a long-drawn-out beat, and I can’t tell by her expression what the fuck she’s thinking.

“You won’t move your fingers?” she asks, and I shake my head.

“No. You can move them. Have full control over them. Place them wherever you want.”

She considers this. “And you won’t try to touch me anywhere else?”

“No, I won’t even look if you don’t want me to. I’ll lay on my side, keep my eyes closed and you can just use my hand.”

“On my bare flesh?” she asks to confirm, her brows high again.

“Whatever you want. It can be over the top of your clothes if you want. It can be touching your bare flesh. It can be sinking inside you. Whatever.”

She squirms the moment I say, ‘ sinking in’ , and I know she’s imagining the feel of my fingers stretching her.

“You promise not to touch me anywhere else?”

“I promise. I’ll even give you my gun if it makes you feel better.”

Her shoulders relax at that offer, and she smirks. “No, that’s not necessary.”

Smirking back, I nod and wait to see what she’ll decide, and a moment later, she rolls off the bed.

“Let’s clean you up first. ”

There are fucking bugs or butterflies or something in my chest, because I’m pretty fucking sure something is dancing in there the moment she just agreed to my offer.

Disappearing before I can say anything, Abbey returns a moment later with a damp washcloth, coming to stand next to my side of the bed, eyeing my still semi hard cock laying in its own filth.

Grinning, I snatch the cloth and make quick work of cleaning myself, using the towel to dry myself before tossing both on the floor, too fucking worked up about what’s about to happen.

“Get in here, Angel,” I say, half demanding, half playful, hoping she doesn’t change her mind.

She rounds the bed, not looking at me, her brows drawn together deep in thought. I want to tell her to take her clothes off, but I get the feeling her clothes, like my hoodie, are an armour. If she’s wearing them, she’ll feel safer. Less exposed.

If Abbey needs that, then I won’t try to strip her bare.

Slowly, she slides into the bed, pulling up the sheet, hiding her body away.

I’m completely naked now and wonder if I should perhaps put some clothes on, but then she glances down at my cock, hard again just from the idea of her letting me touch her, and her cheeks flush with arousal.

Yeah, she can fucking look all she wants.

“How should I… what do I…” she trails off, and I hold in my grin, not wanting to make her feel self-conscious just because I find her uncertainty adorable.

Rolling to my side, I offer her my hand, my eyes trained on what I can see of her expression in the dull light.

“It’s yours to do with as you please, Angel. ”

Her gaze darts to mine, and a flicker of fear flashes in her eyes.

“I want you to know if this doesn’t work… like if I freak out or can’t get over the line or…” she sucks in a deep breath. “It’s not because of you. It’s because of me.” She stabs a finger to her temple in frustration.

Shit.

“I won’t take anything personally, Angel. Don’t worry.” I offer, reaching forward to remove her finger from her temple. “Before we begin, can I kiss you?”

Her breath hitches and her lips part, her dark gaze snapping to my lips.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” she whispers, obviously looking at my split lip.

“Angel, it hurts more not to kiss you.”

This time her lips part in an O before a smile breaks through and she nods.

I don’t waste another fucking second, closing the distance and pressing my lips to hers.

She’s so soft and timid at first, but when my tongue darts out and brushes into her parted lips, she melts into the mattress and gives herself over to the kiss.

Fuck, I love kissing her.

I know I shouldn’t be doing this. My job is to protect her, not bed her, but how can I refuse her if she needs this from me?

A soft moan falls from Abbey’s lips and into mine when I deepen the kiss, and I shift closer, my body nearly flush with hers, but not quite. I don’t want to make her feel smothered, but I want her to feel the heat of my body. I want her to know what she does to me .

Reluctantly, I break the kiss, knowing all I want to do is lose control with her, and I’m right on the edge of doing that.

“Can I touch you now?” I rasp, holding up my hand again, and she nods, accepting it in hers.

For a long moment, she just stares at the pads of my fingers, holding my hand up between us. I can’t tell what she’s thinking. Maybe she’s trying to figure out how to get out of this. Or maybe she’s trying to figure out if she wants me over or under her clothes.

Whatever her thought process, a moment later she comes to her decision, and directs our hands under the sheet and between her legs.

Even though she’s the one guiding my hand, she gasps and jerks at the first contact over her shorts, but when I don’t do anything, my fingers remaining relaxed and at her disposal, she sighs and presses my fingers to the seam that runs through the centre of her mound.

She holds it there for a moment, and small trembles rattle from her hand and into mine.

She’s scared.

Nervous.

Yet determined.

I feel privileged that she trusts me enough to try this.

“Do you need anything else from me, Angel? Do you want me to put a pillow over my head?”

“No.” She giggles, her eyes darting to mine before she turns serious. “No, I need to see you.”

“Do you want me to talk, sing, whisper?”

“Definitely talk… but like…” she bites her lip before whispering, “dirty. ”

“So, it’s okay for me to tell you how much I ache to feel how wet your pussy is?”

“Yes,” she rushes out breathlessly, her fingers pressing into mine, which puts more pressure between her legs.

“I can’t wait to taste you again, Abs. You have the sweetest nectar.”

She moans quietly, and I feel her pelvis shift under my fingers, pushing against them, seeking more.

“I really want to feel what it’s like to slide my fingers into your tight cunt,” I rasp, and she stiffens, her half-lidded eyes snapping wide.

Fuck. She obviously doesn’t like that word.

“Forget I said that,” I demand, and she nods, although she’s still as stiff as a board, so I try again.

“I really want to feel what it’s like to slide my fingers into your tight pussy.”

She relaxes, thank fuck, and starts moving my hand with hers, rubbing my fingers over her mound.

Okay, so cunt is a no, and pussy is a yes. Noted.

Shit. This is a lot of pressure.

What if I do or say something that is a real trigger for her?

What if I make things worse for her?

Even as I think it, she moves our hands so my fingers run over the seam again, another whimper of a moan falling from her parted lips.

Fuck. It’s okay. She’s here with me. She wants this.

“Do you think you’d like to feel my fingers inside you, Abs? To feel my skin on yours. Gliding through your wet folds and spreading you wide?”

Her rubbing speeds up as she whimpers incoherently .

Fuck yes. I want her to take what she needs. Lose control and let herself go.

“I want to sink my fingers inside you, while I lick your clit,” I rasp, shifting closer so I can feel her panting breaths over my lips, and then I get really fucking game. “Fuck, baby, I want to fuck you with my tongue.”

I flick my tongue out then, grazing her lips, and she gasps before latching onto it and sucking it in.

Fucking hell, my cock jerks, and need slams into me, making my whole fucking body vibrate with the desire to claim her.

Before I realise what’s happening, Abbey shifts under the sheet, her other hand dragging her shorts down before she desperately presses my fingers to her bare, wet flesh.

I moan, claiming her lips as we both start fucking each other’s mouths, and I have to remind myself to not do any more than this, because this wasn’t part of the fucking deal I made her.

But she’s going with it. Taking my lips and devouring my kiss, all while she uses my fingers to drag her slick juices from between her folds to her clit before she finally lets go.

“Fuck, Abs. I’m going to come again,” I admit against her lips, and she whimpers a loud yes, mashing her clit with my fingers so fast that I’m surprised a fire doesn’t erupt from the friction.

“Cam,” she cries, using my real fucking name, which I gotta admit, does something to me, and then she goes silent, as if she’s holding her breath, fighting to get herself over the line.

“I’m coming,” I lie, because I know that’s what she needs, and just like I predicted, she gasps right before she explodes in a shattering orgasm .

My lie is no longer, my balls tightening, my spine tingling, and pleasure rippling through me for the second time before I’m covering the sheet between us with my seed.

She doesn’t let up on her clit, using my hand, my fingers to wring every rippling wave of pleasure from herself, until she finally stills, pressing my fingers between her folds as her slickness pools at her entrance.

Fuuuck, my fingers are so close. How easily I could sink them in and take control.

I’d make it my mission to replace every awful memory she’s had there with new ones, and then some.

But I can’t. Not now. Not yet.

Never have I had to have so much restraint.