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T his is all one big clusterfuck!

“Look, my brothers didn’t tell you everything,” Liam Marx admits on the other end of the phone. “But you know I’ve got your back, man.”

“What the fuck didn’t they tell me?” I snap, my voice raw from spending the last three hours on the phone, trying to convince the oldest Marx brothers that I’ve got shit under control, when in reality, I fucking don’t.

“You should know,” Liam continues, “Officer Allen name-dropped you directly. Puffed his chest out like a big man in front of my dad. You know we’ve been trying to keep the Southern Sadists off Dad’s radar, but Allen threw you and your club right fucking in it. Claimed you were into kidnapping minors, which goes against our treaty.”

“You know that’s bullshit!” I roar, and Liam chuckles.

“Relax. I know it’s bullshit. Most of my brothers know it too. But you know how my dad is.”

“Yeah. I fucking know how Ewan is,” I grumble, hating that Smitty was right earlier when he said the reputation of our club is on the line.

Ian Allen is gunning for us.

“Allen mentioned Abbey’s name so many times that it’s now ingrained into my dad’s brain,” Liam says. “He know’s Allen is dirty as fuck, but it doesn’t matter. Being associated with an MC accused of trafficking, especially minors, is not part of Dad’s business model.”

I’m about ready to hurl the phone at the wall when JD cuts in.

“Has your team dug up anything else on Allen or his family?”

“Nah. Not yet. That bloke must have deep fucking pockets, because our informants have gone dark. We’ve got hackers working around the clock, but men like him don’t leave a paper trail.”

JD and I lock eyes, our concern mirrored.

“Why does Allen have such a hard on for you, Ringo? How’d he even know you were involved?”

I consider Liam’s words for a moment before it hits me.

I know exactly how.

Back on the freeway, when my MC surrounded Daniel and Donny’s car so Crow could get Abbey away… I fucking poked the bear.

The bear being Ian Allen and his nephew, Donny.

I punched Donny in the nose, and threw my name in his face.

“I can’t fucking wait to meet your uncle Ian. Be sure to tell him Ringo is coming for him! ”

It doesn’t take a genius to find out who I am. We didn’t hide our cuts, so Donny and Daniel saw our Southern Sadists death heads on our backs. And there’s only one Southern Sadist that goes by Ringo in Australia.

The hunt for Abbey is now more than personal.

I’m the real reason my club is in the firing line. Not Abbey.

So while they are still hunting for Abbey, they’ve basically put the Southern Sadists on notice by dragging our allies into it, shaking up every partnership we’ve built.

It’s smart.

Stir up shit with our people, drop my name, and suddenly we’re not just dodging cops. We’re dealing with a hoard of organised crimers who don’t want their business getting fucked by the police.

Fuck.

Not only have I put a bigger target on Abbey’s back, but I’ve put one on the club too.

No wonder Smitty was so pissed.

“I may have punched his nephew in the nose,” I finally answer Liam’s question. “But let’s not forget, Donny is a rapist cunt, along with his prick mates. They’re all going to die. I won’t fucking stop until I see to that.”

“Damn. You’re in deep with this chick, huh?”

“Shut up,” I snap while JD chuckles.

“He sure is.”

I punch his shoulder, but he takes it with a grin, tossing a peanut into the air and catching it in his mouth like a cocky bastard.

“Come on, man.” Liam sighs, the sound of a lighter clicking in the background. “You’re talking to me . No need to lie about your girl.”

My girl.

“Not my girl,” I snap, not wanting that attention.

“Well, if you’re about to feed me some shit about her being just a job , then I’m getting in my car now so I can personally deliver you a swift fucking cock punch.”

“She is a job. I’m helping her as a favo—”

“Let me stop you there.” Liam cuts me off. “Smitty’s been running his mouth about her being your old lady. That you’ve claimed her or some shit. And as much as I love that for you, my old man doesn’t give a single fuck about your love life. He wants to know why we’re all paying the price because you’ve got a fucking crush on an eighteen-year-old.”

“Be very fucking careful with what you say next,” I warn, my fists balling on the bar top, about ready to start smashing shit.

“Look, you fuckers might do old ladies plus have a citizen wife, which by the way, why the fuck would you want to juggle that shit? But as far as Ewan Marx is concerned, in the real world, there’s only one fucking relationship that counts. A wife. So to him, all this drama is just you chasing pussy and dragging the rest of us through hell.”

“Fucking come here, Liam! I fucking dare you to say that shit to my face!”

Liam chuckles, and JD smirks, not even pretending to be worried about catching a flying fist.

“You know what you’ve gotta do, man,” Liam says. “Only one thing’s gonna give her proper protection, and repair your club’s reputation. ”

“Hate to say it, but Liam’s right.” JD holds up his hands as I step towards him. “Club rules don’t mean shit to the underworld. An old lady is nothing but an inside club title. Outside the MC, the only thing that matters besides money is family.”

“Exactly,” Liam agrees. “So why the fuck haven’t you seen to that?”

With every word Liam spits, my blood fucking boils.

But, fuck. The bastard’s not wrong. Neither is JD. And neither is Smitty.

If I want Abbey safe, like really safe… I have to marry her.

Only then will the club protect her.

Only then will the Marx family stand behind her.

And only then will the rest of our allies back us up.

“Jesus fucking Christ, would you two back off,” I hiss. “I know what I have to do. It’s happening tomorrow.”

“Well, fuck,” Liam scoffs. “Why didn’t you tell my brothers that?”

“Because Abbey doesn’t even know it’s happening yet,” JD snickers, and this time I grab a handful of peanuts and hurl them at his smug face.

“Uh… not to be the bearer of bad news.” Liam sounds fucking amused as he speaks. “But you do know, for it to be legal, she actually has to agree with it.”

“I fucking know that,” I growl, “but how the hell do I ask her to do something that her parents were gonna force on her? She’s fucking traumatised, man. I can’t just drop it on her and expect her to fall in line.”

“Remind her there’s this thing called divorce ,” Liam says casually. “And once this whole mess is behind you, she can ditch you and live her best life however the fuck she wants. ”

“Fuck,” I hiss, raking my hand through my hair again.

I hate the part about divorce, because deep down, I don’t want to let her go, and I still don’t understand why.

“Fuck’s right. She’s really got you twisted in knots. Never thought I’d see the day.”

“It’s a beautiful fucking sight,” JD adds unhelpfully.

“Both of you, shut the fuck up,” I snap, and they just laugh.

“Look. It’s not ideal,” Liam continues, still sounding more amused than serious. “But the people after her aren’t messing around, man. Get hitched. Consummate or don’t. I don’t give a fuck. Just make it official. Then the club’s associates will know she’s important enough to be properly owned by the Southern Sadists. It’s a win-win. And once everyone’s back on your side, you’ll have all the fucking backup you need to wipe those cunts off the face of the Earth.”

“Will we actually have that help?” I ask, my jaw so fucking tight I’m starting to get a headache. “Because word is your dad has blown a fucking gasket and ordered Riggs to burn down the Western with everyone still inside.”

Liam huffs. “Riggs won’t do that. He’ll stall for as long as he can until this shit is resolved. But my old man has every right to be pissed off. He’s worked hard to build our reputation. We haven’t been raided in over eight years, and all of a sudden they get hit with no warning, and it’s got nothing to do with our business.”

“Yeah I fucking know,” I mutter, the exhaustion catching up with me, wrapping around my shoulders like a thousand weighted blankets.

“Right. So get fucking hitched, and let me know if you want to use one of our penthouses for your honeymoon. ”

I roll my fucking eyes. “Like fuck I’m taking Abbey to one of your penthouses. You probably have them rigged with cameras.”

“Of course. Why pay for porn when I can watch my brothers’ conquests in high def?”

We chuckle, and JD cuts in. “Any chance you can send me one of your home-made pornos? I’m out here in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere with nothing but my hand for company.”

“Sure. Five grand and you can take your pick.” Liam laughs. “Well Ringo. Good fucking luck with your marriage proposal. Make sure you get down on one knee. I hear chicks dig that shit.”

As Liam laughs at my grunt, the call ends, and I sit at the bar numb as fuck over what I have to do.

JD tries to chat with me for a while but he quickly realises I’m not good fucking company tonight, so he wanders outside to sit around the open fire with my sisters.

I should join them, but I can’t bring myself to look my sisters in the eye yet, after the way they treated my Angel at dinner.

Rounding the bar, I flick the sound system on, needing to drown out my sisters flirting with JD.

I don’t know where Abbey is. Probably back inside after I stormed off and left her under the Jacaranda tree.

With Hope.

Fuck.

Pain slices through my chest just thinking about my little girl. The little girl I never got to meet.

I never got to see what colour her eyes would have turned.

I never got to hear her cry or coo, or speak that gibberish babble babies make.

What I did get was the feel of her light, lifeless body as I scooped her up from the dirt. So tiny. So fragile, her skin almost translucent. Her miniscule fingernails, and how blue they were underneath.

It’s one sight I’ll never forget.

Her little fingers, limp and cold, curled around nothing while I held one with my thumb.

That image is seared into my brain.

Doc said she was likely stillborn. Said Kylie’s shit lifestyle killed her and expelled little Hope before bleeding out.

Some days I wish I didn’t kill that fucking bitch just so I could have made her suffer. But really, that’s just me wanting to punish someone for what I lost.

Getting rid of Kylie was the best thing for everyone, yet still, I wear the anger like a fucking crown. It’s in everything I do.

It built my ruthless reputation and cemented my future with the Southern Sadists, because when my world fell apart, and my fury unleashed, my fucking club brothers were the only ones that stood by me.

They didn’t tell me to calm down.

They didn’t force me to go to a therapist.

They didn’t tell me to take some time away to heal.

Normal society does that shit. But not my club. They handed me the matches and helped me burn it all down.

Some call that fucked up.

Me? That’s the best therapy a man can get.

Fuck.

I need to figure out how to bring up marriage with Abbey. And I need to do it tonight.

Will she understand ?

Will she feel trapped again, like she did with her parents?

Will she flat-out refuse?

The barn door creaks open and JD strolls in, carrying a few empties, tossing them in the bin as he passes, moving to the fridge.

“You wanna come sit by the fire?” he asks, eyeing me over the open fridge door.

“Is Abbey out there?” I stand, stretching my neck from one side to the other.

“Nah, man. Think she went up to bed a few hours ago.”

I nod, considering whether I should go to her, even after I lied and told her Ma wouldn’t want us sharing a room.

Would she let me touch her like she did back at the Western? Maybe she’d let me taste her pink flesh this time.

I could run the marriage thing by her as she comes apart on my fingers, while she’s in an orgasm coma.

Fuck. I want all of that except for the part where I try to seduce her into something she’ll likely say no to under normal circumstances.

“I think I’ll enjoy the quiet in here for a bit,” I mutter, and JD frowns, a six-pack now in hand.

“Everything okay?”

“Bout as okay as it was before,” I deadpan, and JD cringes.

“What can I do?”

“Nothing.” I shake my head. “Just don’t stay up too late. I’ll need all hands on deck first thing in the morning to get this place ready for the club.”

“You got it.” He nods, then leaves me to wallow in this fucked up mess .

Oddly enough, my misery isn’t about the fact that I’m being railroaded into marrying Abbey, because honestly, I like the idea of her being my wife.

My misery is because I hate taking this decision away from her.

She deserves better than this. Better than me and this fucked up life I live.

She’s not a club wife or an old lady. She’s too good for that life.

“Fuck,” I hiss to myself.

“Are you talking to yourself now?”

I fucking jump at Lani’s voice.

“Jesus fucking Christ. Make some noise when you enter a room,” I snap at my sister, who just smirks and pulls out the bar stool beside me and takes a seat.

“I wasn’t quiet, Cam.” She rests her arms on the bar. “So, what’s going on? You’ve been off ever since you got home.”

Sighing, I pinch the bridge of my nose.

“There’s a lot going on, Lans.”

“With Abbey?”

I nod.

“You call her Angel.” Her eyes search mine, studying me.

“Yeah. I do.”

“She means that much to you?”

“Yep. She does.” And somehow, saying it out loud again, makes me feel a little lighter.

“How can she mean so much when you barely know her?”

I frown but answer truthfully.

“Can’t explain it.”

She half scoffs, half giggles. “You really are a man of many words.”

“Yep,” I mutter, smirking down at the coaster I’ve absently torn up into little pieces.

“You sure about her? Maybe your brain is just trying to replace what you’ve lost.”

My head whips in her direction so fucking fast I nearly throw my neck out.

Biting my tongue, because that fucker wants to rant obscenities at my sister for saying such a thing, I try to rein in my clawing fury.

“If anyone else said that to me, I would’ve fucking stabbed them by now.”

Lani just waggles her brows. “I’m not just anyone. I’m your favourite sister.”

“Hmmm. That’s fucking debatable,” I mutter, dropping my gaze back to the ruined coaster.

“Seriously though, are you sure that’s not what this is?” Lani pushes, and I sigh, squeezing my eyes shut for a fucking beat.

“I’d like to think not,” I rasp.

“But you’re not sure?”

Her words have me shoving back from the bar and pacing.

“I’m not sure about anything, Lans. How the fuck am I meant to explain this?” My gaze flicks briefly to hers to see she’s watching me. “I’ve known her for four weeks, and only one of those weeks was real time together. It doesn’t make any fucking sense, but there’s just something different about her. About me. About how I am with her. About us. I can’t explain it. I don’t fucking know, okay?”

Throwing my hands up in the air, I stare back at my sister, her long chocolate hair now twisted into a pile on her head, making her look more her age of thirty-one.

“Okay,” Lani holds her hands up like she’s trying to calm a wild animal. “Just for the record, I think she’s really nice.”

My hands drop to my sides.

“She’s too nice for someone like me.”

“Probably.” Lani nods with a growing smile before it falters. “What she said… about the baby’s father… I hate that she’s been through that. I can’t even imagine what her life has been like. I’m sure I don’t even know the half of it.”

“Nope, you don’t.” I cut in. “That’s her story to tell, though.”

Lani nods. “She’s strong. Incredibly brave. I know you wouldn’t be doing all of this if she didn’t mean something.”

“She does. She’s everything .”

That lightness returns at my admission, and Lani smiles as she slides down off the bar stool.

“In that case, I’ll have a word with Mills. Make sure she backs off.”

“I’d appreciate that.” I offer her a small smile, since it’s all I can fucking muster right now. “Hey, before you go.”

She pauses and turns back to me.

“Ma dozed off on the couch straight after dinner. Has she been doing that a lot lately?”

“Most days. She hasn’t had a flare up in a while, so she’s bound to have one soon.”

I nod, feeling like shit for adding to her stress.

“Did JD tell you what’s happening tomorrow?”

Her brows lift. “No. What’s happening tomorrow? ”

Taking in a deep breath, I glance at the door to make sure no one is slipping in unnoticed.

“The club is rolling in for the night. If you and Mills can be up early to help set up tents and shit, I’ll talk with Ma about the food and letting the Doxies have access to her kitchen.”

Lani scoffs. “You do remember who our mum is, right?”

Grinning, I nod. “I’ll try to alleviate her stress. The last thing I want is to trigger a flare up.”

“Okay. You coming outside with us?” she asks and I shake my head.

“No, I’d actually appreciate some alone time to be honest.”

Stepping closer, Lani gives my arm a gentle squeeze.

“Alright. I’ll keep JD out there for a while.”

“Just don’t fuck him please.”

She giggles, wagging her brows. “That, I can’t promise.”

I shake my head as she laughs all the way out, and once she’s gone, I round the bar and study the top shelf whiskey. I find myself a single malt, and take it and a glass to one of the old tables, pouring myself a decent portion.

I can’t remember the last time I had a drink. It was some time after Hope died. After I dug her grave with my bare hands, clawing at the earth until my nails bled.

That was three fucking years ago.

I’ve been sober ever since. Too paranoid I’ll end up like Kylie. Dependent on substances that do nothing but destroy lives.

But now, as I stare into the amber liquid in the glass, knowing I’m about to destroy Abbey’s life, I accept that I’m too much of a fucking coward to do it sober.