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Chapter Twelve

Julia

N ow that Matteo and I don’t have to sneak around to be together, it makes things… a little awkward, like neither of us knows what to do with each other.

Our entire relationship was built on hidden glances and stolen moments.

Now we have this whole house to ourselves and Viktor will surely find out the truth about me and Matteo soon enough, if Inessa hasn’t already told him.

Things are going to become more chaotic and dangerous.

Viktor will surely go on a warpath to get me back.

I wonder what he’ll think of me if Inessa tells him the truth about me and Matteo. Will he understand? Probably not. I know my brother. He’ll think I hurt him beyond repair. That I’m a stranger to him.

That’s why I want to return and explain everything myself but I also know that Viktor will lock me right up and kill Matteo without a second thought and then I’ll never get a chance at happiness.

That leaves me and Matteo, trying to figure out where our relationship stands now that he’s literally taken me from my home.

“Are you hungry?” he asks as both of us stand in the living room, not knowing what to say after Dante leaves.

I’m still in my wedding dress that I was supposed to marry Connor in. This whole thing is surreal.

“I am a little hungry,” I admit.

“I can make us some dinner.” He flashes me a warm smile and instantly makes me feel better. I care deeply for Matteo. I might already be in love with him. But I’m also conflicted over what he did. Taking me has only made things worse.

Matteo starts on dinner while I sit at the kitchen table. “Do you want some help?”

“I got this. You just rest. I know it was a hard day for you.” He starts chopping up cauliflower.

“It was a hard day for you too. You invaded my wedding. Kidnapped me.”

Slowly, he sets his knife down. “Are you angry at me for that?”

“I just wish I had the chance to explain things to Viktor. Now he’s going to think the worst of you and maybe even the worst of me!

You weren’t supposed to attack my wedding.

You were supposed to kill Connor before we even got to this point.

” I motion down at my wedding dress. “None of this was supposed to happen.”

He sighs. “I am sorry, Julia. Like I said, Dante wanted to attack. I couldn’t stop him.”

“But you never had to tell him about my wedding in the first place.”

“Someone would have found out if it weren’t for me and if someone else told Dante, then Dante would have gone in that church and killed every last one of you without hesitation. It’s because of me you’re alive.”

A flare of anger hits me. I’ve never felt anger for Matteo at all before. It’s a strange sensation. “I should be grateful that I wasn’t killed?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Fine. You had no choice to attack my wedding. But you chose to take me here. You chose to throw me over your shoulder and took away my agency. You made this choice for us. For me.”

He roughly tosses the cauliflower into a pan. “If I hadn’t taken you, you would have gone back home with your family and Viktor would have married you to Connor right then and there. You’d be stuck with him forever if I hadn’t taken you. I wasn’t going to let that happen.”

“But Connor still could have been killed.”

“But he wasn’t!” he shouts. It’s the first time Matteo has ever shouted at me. I can’t help but flinch.

Matteo slowly sighs and comes over to me, kneeling before me.

“Julia, I know you’re worried what your brother will think.

But the reality is, you either would have ended up with another man forever that you didn’t love or the truth about us was going to come out.

In the first case, you’re miserable forever.

In the second case, your brother is upset.

Because of our feelings for each other, it was never going to have a pleasant outcome.

We’re together now. We have a chance to actually be together. Let’s make the most out of it.”

I look into his warm, brown eyes and the sincerity on his face and know he’s right. There was never going to be a good outcome to any of this. All I’ve wanted for these past few weeks is to be with Matteo and now I get that chance. I need to make the most out of it.

If Viktor finds us and kills Matteo, then I’ll be upset that I never gave us the chance.

With a sharp inhale, I kiss him. It’s rough and raw. Matteo kisses me right back. Both of us are trying to consume the other one. To live inside the other one. To be as close as we can get.

He pulls me to my feet and wraps his arms around me, making me feel safe and warm. As long as I am with Matteo, I’ll be fine. Everything will be fine. I have to convince myself of that because the alternative is not something I want to even consider.

“Let’s go to the bedroom,” he murmurs against my lips. A flare of arousal hits me.

“We can’t have sex though. I’m waiting for my wedding night and we’re not married.”

“We don’t have to have sex. I just need to touch you.” There’s a desperation in his voice that I can understand.

“You should turn the stove off first.”

“Right.” He moves faster than I’ve ever seen him as he turns the stove off and captures me into another kiss. He carries me down the hall.

The bedroom is decorated in simple beige and whites and greens. All calming colors. I could stay in this room forever with Matteo. If only…

He sets me on my feet. “Let me get this dress off you.”

I tremble as Matteo’s hands undo the buttons at the back of my dress. This is my perfect wedding dress but I was getting married to the wrong man in it. “It should have been you,” I say, nodding to the dress. “I should have been marrying you in this.”

He pushes the dress down my body and settles his hands on my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder. “Maybe we can rectify that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… we could get married.”

I go still. This can’t be reality. Nothing in life ever feels this good. “Are you just suggesting that so you can have sex with me?”

“No, though that would be an extra perk.” He kisses my neck.

“I want to marry you because I want you to be mine. I haven’t been able to think about anybody but you since we met.

You’re in my dreams all the time, as fucking corny as that sounds.

I want to be with you for the rest of my life if I can. If you’ll have me.”

“Are you proposing?” I whisper. I never thought this would happen. I never allowed myself to even dream it.

“Yes,” he murmurs against my neck.

“Can I have a moment to think about it? It’s all just so new to me.”

“Of course. Do you want to stop or…”

I turn around to face him. “No. I want to touch you. I just can’t give you an answer right now. Not after the day I’ve had.”

“Then let me make you feel better.” His kiss is tender and passionate and sends heat through my entire body. My hands find the bottom of his shirt and I strip it off him. I see the gauze over his shoulder. He risked his life to be with me. No one has ever done that for me before.

Matteo hisses when my hands move down to his waistband.

“Can you take these off?” I nod at his pants.

“I should leave my underwear on though. Since we’re not having sex, I think it’s better if I keep my cock away.”

I flush at his words. They’re so vulgar and yet sweet at the same time.

Matteo pushes his pants down and true to his word, keeps his underwear on. I’m curious to see what he looks like but I guess I can wait.

Does that mean I’m considering marrying him?

I know I love him. There’s no denying it. I’m just worried to take that next step with so much uncertainty right now. I don’t know how Viktor feels. I don’t know what’s going on outside this house. To marry Matteo without knowing any of this is frightening.

But a marriage could also heal. It could join each side of this war and bring us all together. In a fairytale world that is and I don’t live in a fairytale.

Matteo cups my face. “You are so beautiful, you know that?”

I could cry from how tender and sweet his words are. “You’re always on my mind too, you know. Ever since we first met.”

Our lips meet in another passionate kiss. Matteo lowers me onto the bed and unclasps my bra, his hands skimming across each breast. I arch up. His touch, no matter what it is, always sets me on fire.

“I think it’s best that we leave my underwear on too,” I say. “Before, when we were sneaking around, it was easy to keep some distance between us. But now, if we wanted to, we could have sex. Nothing and no one would stop us. I don’t want the temptation.”

“Then we’ll just touch each other. Here.” He sits us both up and places my hands on his chest. “Just touch.”

I take a moment to explore his body. The hard ridges. The strong muscles. The tanned skin.

My fingers skim along his chest, his shoulders, his back. The entire time, Matteo watches me with a soft expression that makes me love him even more. Every so often, he’ll lean down and give me a small kiss on the lips or the temple or my neck. It makes me smile every time.

His hands linger on my back, encompassing the whole space. He’s just so strong. I feel so petite and womanly next to him.

I gasp when his hands tickle my stomach.

“Sensitive?” he asks.

“Very much so.”

“I’m still learning so much about you. I want to know more. Tell me something I don’t know about you yet.” The kiss he gives me to my neck makes me melt into him.

“Uh… I’m afraid of the ocean.”

“Why?”