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Chapter Eight

Julia

I ’m desperate to see Matteo again and while I know it’s risky, I sneak back out of the house. It’s starting to become almost too easy. The guards are predictable when it comes to their schedules.

Matteo and I are going to meet at a new hotel and this time, we have to be more secretive about it. I can’t risk Connor finding out about us again.

I knock on our hotel door and Matteo answers. The sight of his handsome face instantly makes me comfortable and before I can stop myself, I throw my arms around him.

“I got you,” he murmurs into my hair. “I got you. I won’t let Connor hurt you.”

“How are you going to do it?”

“I haven’t spoken to Dante yet but he wants Connor dead. I don’t have any details. And anyway, you won’t want to know, Julia. I can’t risk putting you in danger if you know too much.”

I step out of his arms. “I understand. Just tell me you’ll be safe.”

“I always try to be.”

“So… what do we want to do?” I purposely avoid looking at the bed.

“We could talk some more.”

“That sounds good.”

But Matteo and I don’t move from our spot. It’s like our feet are rooted to the ground.

“I don’t want to talk,” he says gruffly.

“Neither do I.”

Matteo wraps his arms around me and brings his lips down to mine. I kiss him back hungrily. Never have I felt this passion inside of me. I’ve always been the polite, good girl who did what her brother asked of her. I’ve never been the rebel.

But then again, I’ve never known what this feels like: lust and maybe even love.

Matteo gently lowers me onto the bed as we continue to kiss. I trust him not to hurt me, even though he’s the enemy. He’s proven himself to me at this point.

Our kiss becomes more heated. His hands grip my hips as he hovers over me. The feeling of his body on top of mine is both exciting and terrifying.

I pull back slightly. “I’m not ready for sex.” I’m not sure if I’m ready to risk all of myself just yet.

“We don’t have to have sex. But we can do other things if you’re open to it.”

Slowly, I nod. As much as I can experience with Matteo, I want to.

He kisses me again but this time, his fingers move down to my upper thighs. With my dress on, it’s easy for him to touch my skin. I inhale sharply. We’re playing a dangerous game. No man should be touching me before my wedding night. If Viktor found out…

He pushes my dress up to my hips and settles his fingers on my panties. “I want to touch you here. Without these in the way.” He doesn’t ask me if I want to but I know he’s still asking for permission.

A flare of arousal hits me. It makes my stomach clench at the thought of him touching me down there, skin to skin. No one has touched me there. I’ve barely even touched myself there.

“Yes,” I gasp.

Matteo kneels before the bed and slips my shoes off before he grabs the edges of my panties and pulls them down. I shiver.

Suddenly, I’m self-conscious. What if he doesn’t like what he sees?

But when I glance down at Matteo, all I see is lust in his eyes. He parts my legs and I can’t believe I let him.

“I need to touch you,” he says before placing his palm over my entire vulva. My hips buck up from the contact. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.

Matteo slowly rubs me. Every motion sends heat through my body as he touches my sensitive nub. It’s a place I’ve explored on rare occasions: when I was feeling brave or even lonely. But I would feel silly and stop.

With Matteo, I don’t want this moment to stop.

“You’re getting wet for me,” he murmurs, pressing his hand harder against me. I gasp. My hands grip the bedsheets underneath me.

“This is all new for me.”

“I know. And I know I shouldn’t be the one doing this to you but fuck, Julia. I need to be. I can’t let anyone else do it.”

Connor. He means Connor.

Knowing that Matteo could have all of my firsts sends a shoot of pleasure through my body. I want him to have all my firsts. If I do have to marry Connor, then giving Matteo my firsts is at least something I can control.

“I need to taste you,” he growls. “Will you let me?”

“Taste?” I whimper.

“Put my mouth on you,” he explains. Oh, I know what he meant. I’m just not sure I can handle it.

But if I’m going to hell for being with the enemy, I might as well enjoy it. Explore it.

“Ok,” I gasp, arching my hips up slightly.

Matteo’s lips tickle my skin as he places a kiss to each of my inner thighs. “You’re bare.”

“I wax,” I admit.

“Waiting for this moment?” He flashes me a teasing grin.

I smile back even though I’m blushing. “No. I never knew this was going to happen. But I’m glad it’s you.”

“Good.” He brings his lips to hover over my most sensitive area. I can feel his breath on me.

And then he finally brings his lips down onto my folds. I gasp out and arch up. The sensation is a funny one: both a little ticklish and extremely pleasurable at the same time.

Matteo runs his lips along my folds and over my clit. His tongue spends a long time just licking and playing with my nub. I can barely speak. I can’t believe this is happening; that I’m letting this happen.

Matteo knows exactly what he’s doing and I try not to let that bother me. He’s been with other women and I know this. But right now, it’s just between him and I and that’s all that matters.

My hips move up but Matteo places his arm over my waist, keeping me in place as he pleasures me with his mouth. I can’t think. All I feel is pleasure.

“Matteo,” I whimper.

“I got you,” he murmurs against my folds. “I got you.”

He licks my nub faster and draws more pleasure out of me. I can feel a growing sensation inside my body. It’s intense and pleasurable. Instinctually, I know what it means.

My hands find the back of Matteo’s head and I hold him there. Never have I been this bold before but I need to feel it. I need to know that this was even real when I leave here tonight.

Matteo grips my thighs tighter as he pleasures me. He doesn’t stop and I don’t want him to even though I feel like I’m going insane.

“Matteo,” I gasp.

“It’s ok. Let go, baby. Let go.”

I’m panting like I just ran a marathon. My hips buck up towards his face. My body is tingling from all the sensations.

And that’s when it hits me.

I grip his hair tighter as my orgasm finally hits me. My legs tremble and my breath finally relaxes. I feel more at ease than I have in a long time.

Matteo sits back on his heels, looking proud of himself. I blush and look away. Knowing he just had his mouth on me makes me embarrassed.

“It’s ok.” He pulls my panties back up. “You don’t have to look away from me.”

“I just can’t believe I let you do that to me.”

“Hey,” he says in his soft voice. His hand finds my face and he gently makes me look at him. “It’s normal. What we just did. You don’t have to be embarrassed.”

“You’re not my husband.”

His eyes darken. “I know. But I’m going to kill the man who will be your husband.”

“But then my brother is just going to find someone else to be my husband. You’ll never be it. And we shouldn’t have done that.” I stand up, pulling away from him. I can see the pain in his eyes but there’s nothing I can do about it. “I’m sorry. I need to get back home.”

“All right. But Julia, we didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I know. And that’s why we shouldn’t have done that. Because it didn’t feel wrong at all.” I leave the hotel room in a rush before Matteo can stop me.

Sneaking back in to my house is just as easy as sneaking out.

But there’s one problem.

Viktor is in the living room, despite it being past midnight. He stares at me as I stop in my tracks. His eyes flick to the back door and then back to me. “Where were you?”

“What?”

“You’ve been gone for hours. I went to talk to you about Connor, ask you if he hurt you, but you weren’t there. I searched the whole house and you weren’t there. I sent my guards out looking for you and yet, here you are, just casually walking back inside.” He stands up. “Where were you?”

If I tell him about Matteo now, while he’s upset, it will for sure lead to Matteo’s death and I cannot have that.

So, I lie again.

“I’m sorry,” I blurt out. “I snuck out to take a walk along the river.”

“At night? It’s dangerous at night.”

“I know. It was reckless. I know anyone could have found me. You don’t need to lecture me. I just had to clear my head.”

He lets out a slow breath. “Is this about Connor? Has he hurt you? Inessa told me he cornered you in the kitchen.”

This could be the moment I tell Viktor but then Connor could still tell Viktor the truth about me and Matteo. It’s better if Matteo and Dante manage to kill Connor. That way Viktor doesn’t know the truth about me and Matteo. Connor will be dead.

“He… did corner me,” I admit. “But he didn’t hurt me. He just wanted to talk about the wedding. But I’m fine. You don’t need to ruin your alliance with him over that. I’m sorry I snuck out. I just needed to clear my head. I have a lot on my mind. But it won’t happen again.”

Some of the tension leaves him. “I trust you, you know that? I just want you to be safe.”

“I know. But I’m tired and want to go to bed now.”

“Of course.” He doesn’t stop me from leaving but I can feel his eyes on me until I get into my room and shut the door behind me.

Matteo

It’s time to kill Connor.

Dante and I come up with a plan to attack him when he shows up at Dante’s club. Despite the fact that we saw each other at Coney Island, he keeps coming back to Dante’s club, almost like he’s trying to show off how unafraid he is of us.

Well, he’s just going to make it easy for us to kill him.

“We can’t have Viktor gaining any allies,” Dante says as we head into his club.

“I’m right there with you.” But more so, I don’t want Connor to ever get the chance to put his hands on my girl.

Shit. I’m already thinking of Julia as my girl when she isn’t.