Page 86 of Beautiful Secrets

She drops her voice to a whisper. “Did you speak to Cole?”

I look at my cup of tea, inhaling deep. I don’t know how much I can trust this woman, even if she does seem nice. Especially since she seems to have mixed feelings about Cole—or, at least, their past.

If I tell her everything, what will that help?

I sit forward in my seat, swallowing hard. “If I tell a secret, you will not tell Cole?”

I expect a “yes” straight away, but instead Sarah studies me intensely. “I don’t get involved with the business,” she says quietly.

Another deep breath.

Is it wrong of me to burden this woman—someone I barely know—with my issues? If it was Vanya sitting in front of me, I would not have hesitated. But I’m a stranger in this house.

In this country.

Even though I’ve lived here for fifteen years, I’ve never ventured outside my estate. Everything about this place is still as foreign as the day we landed.

But what if I can’t do this alone? What if it will take more than just me to convince Cole to turn down my father’s offer?

“Mika?” Sarah grasps my hand. “Are you okay?”

I pull my hands out of hers. “You are right. This does not involve you.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean—”

“I am fine,” I tell her, patting the back of her hand. “I misspoke. I am happy to go back to my family.”

She searches my face like she’s trying to hunt out a lie, so I smile at her.

I point toward the kitchen. “May I cook something for lunch?”

Sarah blinks as if the question caught her off guard. Then she nods, smiles. “Yes, of course. Let me help.”

“No.” I hold out a hand. “You sit. Relax. Look after children. Relax.”

“I’ll help!” comes a squeaky little voice from the armchair. The girl is staring at us with big silver eyes. How much did she hear? And how much of that did she understand?

“Okay,” I say, grimacing at Sarah.

“Maddie,” she says.

“Huh?”

“Her name is Maddie.”

I look back at the girl. “Yes, okay, Maddie. Let us make lunch.” I stand, hold out my hand. The girl comes over and slips her hand in mine.

As I stare down into her pretty eyes, my chest goes so tight I can barely breathe.

I’ve never wanted children. Does that mean I’ll be a terrible mother someday?

Someday?

I bite the inside of my lip as I lead Maddie into the kitchen. I have a sudden overwhelming urge to cry, but I bite it back as I go to a crouch beside the little girl. “Do you know where the flour is, Maddie?”

The little girl nods.

“Show me.”