Page 80 of Beautiful Secrets

Dirty talk doesn’t count.

I drag a hand down my face as I grab Mika by the scruff of her neck and herd her after Derek. Her neck muscles stiffen under my hand, but that’s fine. Better that way.

Because in the ten seconds I’ve had to think this through, my future doesn’t have a Mika in it. Not on any planet where man discovered fire and built nukes and went into space.

It doesn’t make any sense.

Not. One. Fucking. Iota.

28

Mika

Iwake up sometime close to dawn, when everything is gray and everyone is still sleeping. Except for me, of course, because I have to pee. The door of the guest bedroom opens silently when I push it, and the thick carpet swallows the sound of my bare feet as I hurry down the hall.

I slip into the bathroom I washed my face in last night. It was bright and cheery in here last night with the light on, but I don’t bother with it now so the yellow walls and white fixtures look dingy in the pre-dawn as I sit down to pee.

After an eternity, I reach down to pull up my underwear.

My skin goes cold.

Shit.

There’s a spot of darkened blood on my underwear.

My mind races. Is it from the sex I had, or did my period finally start? It’s already a week late—I guess that’s more reasonable than Cole fucking me so hard I bled.

Except…this is exactly what happened the day after Vanya’s engagement party.

Yuri had not been gentle.

And I had not been nearly as wet as last night.

I squeeze my eyes closed, banishing the horrid memory. Trying to breathe through the sudden swell of panic.

I flush, wincing as the sound fills the small bathroom. Then I wait, straining to hear if I woke anyone.

In a way, I hope I have, because I need to find a tampon.

My gaze darts to the cabinet under the sink. I grit my teeth and then hurry over to look inside.

No…no…yes!

I grab a box way at the back of the cupboard and haul it out. In my eagerness, another one falls out with it.

I huff through my nose when I read the label.

A pregnancy test.

I open the box of tampons, and then stop. My eyes dart down to the box on the floor.

I usually get a warning before my period comes. Cravings. Mood swings.

Oh God.

Aren’t those all symptoms of pregnancy too?

No, that would be too cruel a fucking joke, wouldn’t it? Getting pregnant the first time you have sex—sorry, the first time someonerapesyou?