Page 26 of Beautiful Scars: Unshakeable (The Beautiful Scars Duet #2)

Chapter Twenty-Two

Sunny

I can't sleep. There are nights when my skin feels too tight and my scars ache and I can feel the monsters stirring—waiting for me to close my eyes and expose my throat to them.

It happens less often now, but it's still there.

Usually being tucked between Levi and Zane's warm bodies, and listening to their steady breathing for awhile is enough to calm me.

Enough to soothe me into sleep. But tonight it just feels… claustrophobic.

I carefully extract myself from between them, holding my breath and freezing when Zane stirs.

His protective instincts run deep, even in sleep.

The years I spent growing up learning to be quiet and careful serve me well now.

I slip out of bed without a sound, and stand at the foot, pausing to watch them.

Zane's long dark hair spills across his pillow.

Levi's face has lost its usual intensity in sleep.

The sight of them together catches me off guard sometimes—in the best way.

The house creaks as I find my way downstairs. Light spills from the dining room, voices murmuring low. My first instinct is still to freeze and assess the threat. But I recognize Chase's laugh, followed by Ty's quieter response.

"That's not how probability works, man," Chase is saying as I reach the doorway.

They both look up, Chase's face breaking into his usual bright grin while Ty's eyes sharpen with concern.

"Angel!" Chase pushes back from the table. "Come join us."

Papers and laptops cover the table's surface, along with empty energy drink cans and half-eaten snacks. The familiar chaos helps ease the tension in my shoulders.

"Am I interrupting?" I ask, sliding into an empty chair.

"Never. Just getting some work done," Ty says, his gaze assessing me. "Everything okay?"

I wrap my arms around myself, avoiding his too-perceptive eyes. "I couldn't sleep."

"Nightmares?" Chase's usual playfulness dims. They all know how hard sleep is for me. They’ve all been woken up in the middle of the night to me screaming more than once. This house is huge, but it's still small enough that there aren't a lot of secrets between any of us.

"Yeah." I pick at a loose thread on my sleeve. "They're not as bad now, with..." I gesture vaguely upstairs. "But sometimes they still come."

"Want to talk about it?" Ty offers quietly.

I shake my head. "Not really. I just needed some space, maybe watch some TV or something."

"Well, you're welcome to stay out here and help us work through these shipping manifests," Chase says, pushing a stack of papers my way. "Though fair warning—it might bore you to death."

That startles a laugh out of me. "That bad?"

"Worse," Ty groans. "Chase's lack of math skills is giving me a headache."

"Hey! My numbers are perfect. You're the one who has to go over everything fifty times."

Their familiar bickering settles over me like a warm blanket. I’m amazed at how easily they've accepted me into their world. Into their family. How freely they offer comfort and protection without making me feel weak for needing it.

"You want some tea?" Ty asks, already standing. "I was about to make some anyway."

"That would be nice, thanks." I pull my feet up onto the chair, curling into myself. "You guys really don't mind me crashing your work session?"

"Angel, you're always welcome," Chase says with surprising seriousness. "Besides, you probably understand this stuff better than I do."

"Don't sell yourself short," I tell him. "I've seen you. You're smarter than you let on."

His grin turns sheepish. "Don't go spreading that around. I've got a reputation to maintain."

Ty returns with three steaming mugs, setting mine in front of me. The familiar scent of chamomile rises with the steam. He remembers how I take it—the opposite of my coffee, no sugar, just a splash of milk.

"Z and Levi still sleeping?" Chase asks, accepting his own mug.

"Yeah." I wrap my hands around the warm ceramic. "I didn't want to wake them. They worry about me enough as it is."

"They love you," Ty says simply. "We all do."

The words catch me off guard, making my throat tight. Even after all these months, genuine affection still hits me sideways sometimes.

"I know," I manage. "I just... I don't want them to think I'm not okay. That I'm not getting better."

"Having nightmares doesn't mean you're not getting better," Chase points out. "Hell, we all have them. Comes with the territory. With this life."

"Besides," Ty adds, "they'd rather be woken up than know you're dealing with it all alone."

I take a sip of tea to hide my expression. "I'm not alone though, am I? I've got you guys."

"Damn straight," Chase declares, his face breaking out into a wide grin. "Now, want to help me convince Ty that I actually know what I'm doing?"

I tuck my legs underneath me, letting the warmth of the tea seep into my hands while I gather some courage. I have a question I've wanted to ask them for weeks now.

"Sure, but first..." I trace the rim of my mug nervously. "You guys being the ones down here tonight is kind of perfect. I've been thinking about something and wanted to talk to you."

Chase looks up from his papers, eyebrows raised. "That sounds serious."

"It's not." I shift in my chair, trying to find the right words. "Not really. I just… I was wondering if maybe one of you, or both of you could teach me some self-defense?"

The silence that follows makes me want to crawl under the table. Ty sets down his mug slowly, his expression neutral.

"Have you talked to Z or Levi about this?" he asks.

"Not yet." I stare into my tea. "I know they'll probably freak out. They're still so careful with me. It's like they think I might break."

"I don't think I'd ever call you breakable," Chase says firmly. "They're protective. For good reason, Sunny."

"I know that." Frustration creeps into my voice. "But I'm tired of being afraid. Of feeling helpless. When Garrett..." My voice catches. I take a breath. "When he had me, all I did was freeze up. I felt so helpless."

"That's a perfectly normal response," Ty reminds me gently. "It doesn't make you weak."

"Maybe not. I get it. It's normal. But it doesn't—it didn't—do much to help my situation either." I meet his eyes. "I don't want to learn how to fight I don't think. I just want... options. Ways to get away if I need to."

Chase leans forward, his usual playful demeanor serious. "You know none of us would ever let anything happen to you. Right?"

"You can't always be there though." The words come out smaller than I intend. "None of you can. I think we all know that now."

Ty sighs and leans back in his chair. He exchanges a look with Chase that I can't quite read. "You're right."

"I am?"

"Yes." He pushes aside his laptop. "And for what it's worth, I think it's a good idea. Basic self-defense, escape techniques—those are skills everyone should have."

Hope flutters in my chest. "So, you'll help?"

"We'll need to talk to Z and Levi first," Chase cuts in, his tone serious. "They need to be on board with it."

"I know." I wrap my arms around myself, a wave of apprehension washing over me. "I wanted to ask you guys first. You're less likely to immediately say no."

Ty's expression softens. "I don't think they're going to say no, Angel. They might worry a lot, but more than anything they want you to be safe."

"This is something I need from you though.

Not them," I say, a hint of desperation creeping into my voice.

“I know they'll want to be the ones to teach me, but it won't work. They're too close, too protective, too worried about anything hurting me. And that’s the last thing I need right now. I need to see myself differently. Stronger, more capable.”

Chase nods slowly, understanding furrowing his brow. “I get that. You don’t want their protection to hold you back.”

"Exactly," I insist.

Ty leans back, contemplating my words. “It’ll be tough for them. But having someone willing to push you—someone who believes you can handle it—that might be what you need.”

“That’s why I thought of you guys first,” I say, the conviction returning to my voice. “I need this to be real. I want to learn to fight back, not just wait to be rescued.”

It's obvious, as these men absorb my words, that they understand. And, that I made the right choice.

"I'll bring it up to them in the morning, so we can get started."

I can't help but break into a wide smile. "Thank you so much. I appreciate it more than you could possibly know."

"You're welcome," Chase adds with a grin, "And just so you know, we can be very persuasive. If you need us to be, of course."

I arch my eyebrow in his direction. "Is that what you call it?"

"Hey, my powers of persuasion are legendary." Chase clutches his chest in mock offense. "Just ask anyone."

"I think the word you're looking for is 'annoying'," Ty deadpans.

"That too." Chase winks at me. "But seriously, Angel. We've got your back on this. And between you and me?" He leans in conspiratorially. "I think learning some moves would be good for you. Might help quiet some of those nightmares."

The understanding in his voice makes my throat tight. These men, who could so easily be intimidating and dismissive, have become something like brothers to me. Protective but not suffocating, supportive without making me feel weak.

"Thank you," I whisper. "For listening. And understanding."

"You're one of us now," Ty says simply. "That means something."

The monsters that drove me down here are starting to feel a little more distant.

"So," Ty says, gathering up the scattered papers. "While we're planning your future as a badass, want to try helping me teach Chase some basic math skills?"

"Don't even start," Ty protests.

I pull one of the papers closer, studying the numbers. "Well, once upon a time I did actually enjoy numbers. Before..." I trail off, but at least the memory doesn't hurt as much as it used to. "Maybe fresh eyes will help."

"See?" Chase beams. "Sunny's on my side."

"I didn't say that," I counter, already finding three errors in his first equation. "But I'll help you fix it."

The conversation shifts back to work matters, but I can feel something has changed. A small step maybe, but an important one. Towards what, I'm not sure yet. But for now, sitting here with these two men who've become family, I feel stronger than I have in a long time.