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Hudson

Mason: Guys. I figured out our retirement plan.

Aiden: I don’t wanna know.

Dane: Is it illegal?

Mason: I’m serious. It’s a game. I call it: Where’s Hudson?

Mason: It’s like Where’s Waldo, except instead of tracking down a hipster with no fashion sense, we’re tracking down a train wreck with no fashion sense. I’m trademarking it as we speak.

Aiden: For real. Dude is Houdini. Where did he even go after the game last night?

Dane: Probably busy“reflecting on his life choices.” (Source: The Redville Post this morning. Hudson, you should probably have a libel lawyer on retainer at this point.)

Mason: Oh, he was reflecting all right. You should’ve seen him at the bar after I dragged his sorry ass there.

Dane: Do tell. ??

Aiden: Story time. ??

Mason: The man wasflustered. Red as a tomato. Muttering into his beer like the world personally wronged him.

Dane: Are we talking about the same guy?

Mason: Four drinks in, and he kept moaning, “Why is the world so cruel?” Like some tragic Shakespearean hero.

Dane: ?? Was he crying into his drink?

Mason: Helookedlike he wanted to. Almost spilled tequila on my shoes when he dramatically sighed.

Hudson: Are you all done?

Dane: Nope. Mason, any more details?

Mason: Oh, just that at one point, he mumbled something about “hexes” and “torture.”

Aiden: Hexes? As in witchcraft?

Dane: Should we be concerned? I’ll ask the cleaning crew to hide their broomsticks.

Hudson: I hate all of you.

Mason: Bro, the world might be cruel, but we will always be crueler. 3

Hudson: You’re all dead to me.

Mason: ?? Love you, too, big guy.

Hudson: [Attachment: Middle finger selfie]

Dane: Frame it. Hang it in the locker room.

Aiden: New team logo.

Mason: ?? Cry harder, Shakespeare.