Page 80 of Beast and Remedy (The Last of the Heirs #2)
Guilt
A fter telling Jean and Pierre everything and with Marian’s health declining, they agree it is safest to finish what we started in Beau’s kingdom.
I write to Papa and Queen Tove, along with checking in with Princess Sybille, before setting out with the transportable ingredients. Jean and Pierre will forward the roseroot to Torgem once it arrives in Belmur.
The journey to Beau’s home is uneventful, thank the Makers, and we all quickly settle in, working and catching up with Esme, Hugo, Odette, and Veryon upon our arrival.
But Marian needs more monitoring, more healing sessions, and time to rest as we offer her remedies. And each day we treat her with no success, I am reminded if we stayed home, Jean and Pierre would have already tried to convince me to warn my father.
But we are so close to creating a cure.
I can feel it.
Everyone, including Beau’s advisors, helps mix ingredients, pour vials, and formulate the different ratios for a possible cure.
It’s been a tedious process.
Our breakthrough came when we administered a second, more potent dose to a few foxes and lynxes Beau’s men had successfully trapped and brought back to the keep for us to monitor.
With the help of Beau using his powers to scan the animals, he was able to see the remedy at work. It cleared all symptoms within moments of ingestion, leaving us comfortable enough to release the animals back into the wild.
But there was still the mutation to consider, and we weren’t sure if humans or larger mammals needed a different formula.
We had Veryon, Marcel, and a few guards try to capture other animals yesterday to offer the tonic to, but the group returned today unsuccessful.
Beau and I discussed after my shift tomorrow we could see if we could find any creatures, and we planned to iron out the specifics after visiting Marian.
“I don’t see why you can’t let me help while I’m locked away in this room,” my twin grumbles in her guest bedchamber, surrounded by a heaping stack of pillows and blankets.
While I want to tell my sister the good news, I want to ensure everything is right and not watch her resentment grow and hear her repeat spiteful words that already echo in my mind.
Another potential cure? Sure, I bet it won’t work... Come and find me when you’ve actually used that head of yours… You probably want me to die. Don’t you?
Deflecting from my thoughts, I sigh. “We’ve told you before we don’t want to overwhelm you while you’re—”
“Sick. Yes, yes.” She flicks a wave.
The queasiness in my stomach builds with her persistent anger despite Beau using his gifts this evening. Each time we check on her, she has lost her true self and is replaced by someone I don’t recognize.
Her fever returns, her moods always shift, and her hallucinations are happening more frequently.
And I am terrified the news I am withholding will not fix her.
Beau recalls his power and grimaces, his own fatigue making his magic less useful for her treatment.
Maybe we should tell her? Give it to her if only for granting us a reprieve and more time to rest and recover should it not work out.
“Well, don’t keep it all to yourself.” Marian rests her hands on her hips, making me bristle and move my focus from Beau. “You two are the only ones I am allowed to see anymore, so you might as well treat me as part of the conversation you appear to be silently having.”
I hold her fiery gaze, taking in her unkempt waves and red cheeks from the recurrent fever we can’t keep away for too long. It’s ruined her natural sun-kissed glow and leaves a hole in my chest. The longer I stare, the more I fear I’m losing precious time with her.
I want to tell her. We should tell her.
“Well?” Marian starts again, and I shrug.
“Beau—” I glance at him, waiting for him to take the lead. But he doesn’t, and his hesitation leaves me scrambling to fill the void. “We were considering letting you help us.”
His eyes widen, mouth parting.
Shit. Maybe he thinks we should wait.
Too late, Vi. Now you really need to tell her.
“Wait, really?” Marian perks up, her resentment and anger dissipating.
It worsens the guilt in my heart, and I fidget with my trousers. “Yes.”
Maybe she needs an escape. Maybe a little hope and a little lie might keep my sister around and not the soul-sucking illness. Who better to grant her a reprieve than Beau and me?
I square my shoulders, my mind made up. “After I shift back tomorrow morning, you could accompany us to give an animal beyond the castle the tonic we have finalized,” I explain, my heart clinging to the potential of bringing her joy back.
She squints. “You’ve found a cure?”
“For the animals, I think,” I reply, careful not to trade one hopeful thing into another.
“And you don’t think it will work on me?”
Deities, I walked into that question. I can’t lie to her.
“I… I… I’m not certain with the mutation and different species.”
She crosses her arms in bed, scrutinizing me.
“I just want to be certain before giving it to you!” I blurt, trying to appease her. “An escape would be good for you, while also instilling some hope. Plus, I want you to be there.”
“Why?” Marian glares at me before rearing back against the pillows. “You actually want me to be there?”
“We both started it together.” I shrug, tucking a loose wave behind my ear. “I thought it poetic to finish it together, too.”
She rolls her eyes, the sister I love vanishing and withering away, the ruinous infection gutting me.
She turns to Beau. “You’re the one ordering me to stay put, and you’re actually behind this idea as well?”
He lifts his hands in surrender. “Look, I’m just there to make sure Vi doesn’t get ambushed by any other animals like we did in Belmur.”
Marian huffs. “Yeah, a bear shifter needing a hunter to protect her.” She scoffs, muttering, “Typical, Vi.”
I tense, my cheeks prickling as if she slapped me.
“Marian,” Beau says, voice sharp and clipped.
It only makes me feel worse.
Marian fusses with her sheets. “Sorry,” she says, voice annoyed.
No matter how mean she is acting, the apology reminds me she is still in there despite the insult burning my skin. My face feels so hot, and I rub it, trying to process and not be affected.
“It’s alright. You’re… you’re not yourself.”
“Is the brief glimpse of freedom going to be taken away from me now?” she asks Beau, not even bothering to respond to me.
I slump.
Beau rubs my back, and I fight the urge to curl into his comfortable support as he moves past my sister’s remark. “We offered it to you, and it wouldn’t be fair to take it away now.”
“Good. Now, what time are we leaving?” Marian asks, skipping straight to it.
“We will leave when we are ready and will come get you,” he answers, steering us toward the exit. “And we will have to have an extra healing session before we depart.”
“Why?” she demands.
Beau and I look over, her defiance and anger reemerging.
My heart stutters, pain funneling in and gripping it so tight I have to rub my chest. Our efforts to keep her with us are already overpowered by the virus.
I need more time.
“Because if you want to carry your bow tomorrow, I want you to be at your best,” Beau answers. “Now, rest up, and we’ll see you in the morning.”
It’s the first time Marian’s smiled since returning to Torgem, and it takes everything in me to not falter at the small fraction of her old self I miss so much. As if Beau can sense my emotions wanting to surface, he leads us out and pulls the key to her chambers, twisting it in the lock.
I hate how it’s come to this.
But she’s verbally lashed out at everyone.
First, she screamed at Esme, Hugo, and Jules, accusing them of not truly being friends with us and Mama. Then she said Christine’s mother dying during childbirth was more of a tragedy because of the waste of space she found Christine to be.
And Leo… Sweet Makers, my heart broke when she yelled about how shallow and lonely he was and everything she did was all a game. She tore into his feelings, ripping him to shreds with insults and began comparing him to Prince Stefan.
It doesn’t even cover the one night she tried to fight one of the kitchen staff members. We’ve had to lock her in her rooms, and I fucking hate it.
I want to keep it together, but I can’t .
Shudders rock through me as Beau pockets the key and immediately pulls me in.
I hold him, trembling. “Sh-She’s declining fast. Will we have to chain her down to keep her from trying to break out if this cure doesn’t work?”
He runs his fingers through my wavy tresses. “We won’t let it come to that. It’s all going to work.”
“H-How can you say that? How can you have so much hope when you see how fast her mind is deteriorating?” I swallow, trying to stop the dryness in my throat.
“I just wanted to see my sister, and I thought for a moment I did and then I couldn’t stop my mouth from running to end my own torture at seeing her act so volatile. ”
I shake my head, refusing to acknowledge how much losing her is truly breaking me. “And then I go and give her hope I don’t know is well placed.”
He pulls me from his chest. “Then we will make sure it is.”
“How?”
“We’ll follow through with what you said because even I saw her still in there. And it’s worth letting her out under our watch and give her a little bit of hope. If not for herself, then for another place she calls home.”
I sigh, fumbling with his tunic. “I think even she can tell how we are treating her differently. Maybe that’s adding to her mood along with the infection.”
“Knowing Marian, it’s very likely,” Beau agrees with a small lift of his lips. “Maybe it was a good thing you made up tomorrow’s plan and told her.”
I lower my head, my waves falling forward. “Sorry. I—”
He lifts my chin, his gaze darting between my eyes as he sweeps back my hair with the utmost care. “It’s alright,” he whispers before taking my hand and squeezing it twice.
“Yeah, but now we won’t have much alone time tomorrow,” I mumble.
Beau laughs, his teeth gleaming. He leans in, kissing my forehead with a tender smile, my soul soaring when he withdraws, still beaming.
“I’m sure we will manage.” He winks and tugs me with him to our friends in the alchemy room, bidding them a good night before we head out for another shift.