Page 75 of Beast and Remedy (The Last of the Heirs #2)

“That.” I point at his expression. “That’s exactly why I didn’t want to say anything. And also why I didn’t want to rehash the past when we have other problems to solve.”

Wanting to fold into myself and hide away from the disappointment he wears, I cross my arms.

Our time is limited, and I hate the doubt constantly creeping in whenever we share a blissful moment, a shared kiss, a warm touch.

I want him more than life itself, and yet I can’t have him for more reasons now than before. Even if I could have him, Papa would never look at me the same for taking sides with a man he believes killed Mama.

And without any evidence or proof Beau wasn’t behind her death… I don’t even know. But if my father truly knew how I feel about Beau, maybe he would not be so stubborn and would listen to logic and reason—

I shake my head, hating anguish stirring in my heart. “Can we please drop it and get back to trying to focus on my transition?”

But when I lift my chin, Beau’s mouth crashes against mine and steals every fearful, anxious, meddling thought.

He holds my cheek and deepens the kiss.

I arch into him, moaning as heat explodes across my skin, the scorching sensation seeping down my throat, chest, and between my legs.

And when he squeezes my ass… Sweet Makers.

Gripping his shirt, I keep him near as he lifts my leg to his hip, grinding into me. Fuck, I remember him mentioning taking me against a tree.

I clench my muscles with anticipation at the thought, my mind, heart, and body at war.

I should be mad he thinks kissing me will make everything go away.

But it doesn’t. And it never will.

No matter how much I want him. Need him. Love him.

The thought settles, and I withdraw, trying to speak.

Beau places a finger over my lips, wearing a delicious smirk I want to kiss senselessly off his face. But it smooths away, hardening his expression and tone of voice.

“You don’t get to push me away, Vi.”

“ Beau ,” I murmur.

“I know the circumstances are extremely unfortunate, but I can’t help but take them as a blessing.” He cups my cheek, his eyes filled with so much devastating hope. “I see it as a blessing to be given the chance to be with you, to help you and your kingdom, and to show your father—”

“You can help us all you want, but until Papa has proof, real proof you weren’t behind Mama’s death, he won’t look at you the same. I’ve tried for years to get him to hear me out. I’ve tried to find answers. But he won’t listen to anyone .”

Solemnness stretches across Beau’s features, and it shatters my heart even more.

My vision blurs, and I blink away the tears, failing miserably.

Stupid fucking tears.

“I know you didn’t kill my mother. I know it with every piece of my heart and soul.

” I touch his chest. “And still, to this day, even here with you now, my mind tries to find the answers. Deities, my hopeful heart can’t stop thinking of Sybille’s warning as a sign or a clue of some sort meant to grant me the chance to fix everything.

With the cure. With my shifts. With the past… ”

I hold his face, and he leans into my palm and kisses it.

“But my feelings and thoughts are not proof. And I shouldn’t have voiced it aloud or even considered the words as a possibility.

I shouldn’t hope the Makers will bless me with solutions.

Closure. Happiness. Growth. Not when I’ve severely fucked up with this virus.

I shouldn’t be looking, shouldn’t even be searching for those answers right now when Marian’s life—everyone’s lives are at risk. ”

More tears soak my cheeks as my words hang in the silence, and I hate saying it in the first place. I drop my head, broken and defeated. As much as I wanted to keep this inside, it still found a way to claw itself out.

My lip wobbles as people flash by in my mind.

“I-I-I can’t stop seeing my guards’ ruined bodies.

Marian almost dying in my arms. Annie showing up bitten.

” I pull away, wanting to sink into the ground and have the soil bury me.

“I-I-I let them down. Their blood is on my hands. And I can’t get rid of it. I can’t fix everything.”

“ Rosebud .”

The pain etched in his voice and the double squeeze he gives me breaks me.

I cover my face, my knees buckling, and my own weight drags me down.

Beau pulls me from the tree, preventing me from plummeting deep into my own Oblivion. He hugs me tight, comforting me despite the fracturing of our hearts.

My chest rattles, my body trembling through my choked gasps. “I-I-I’m sorry, B,” I rasp. “I’m sorry I looped you into my problems. I’m so sorry I haven’t found all the answers. I’m sorry for everything. You don’t deserve any of this.”

“Shhhhh.” He runs his fingers through my waves, barricading me. “You have nothing to apologize for, my love. So much has happened. So much has affected so many. And while we cannot change the past, we can and we are doing everything possible to create a cure.”

I sniff, trying and wanting to believe his words.

“We’re even out here right now, trying to strengthen the control of your abilities,” he murmurs. “And I know your father is the type of person to see truth with tangible evidence. I’ve been trying to find answers ever since it happened. So, you aren’t the only one wanting to fix everything.”

“Wait. You—you have?” I ask, blinking up at him in astonishment.

He nods and dries my tears. “And I think I’ve narrowed it down to a few people.”

My world shifts on its axis as my mouth falls. “Wh-Wh-Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t want to until I knew for certain.” He brushes his nose along mine. “And much like yourself, I didn’t want to mention anything because of the high amount of stress you and Marian were under when you came back.”

“Y-You could have told me.”

“I am now, aren’t I?”

I swallow. “Yes, but—”

“Against my better judgment to wait until knowing for certain, I’m telling you this now because I don’t want you to push me away.

I want you to want this as much as I do.

” He encompasses my hand in his and squeezes twice.

“I want you to fight for this as much as you are fighting for your sister. But I want you to fight for this after we solve everything because I am not letting you go again, Vi. I can’t —”

His voice cracks and his throat bobs. “I can’t lose you again.”

I hold his wrists, waiting in the quiet with him, being his steady support as he works through his emotions.

He masks his pain from the world, and it’s a pain that matches my own whenever I think of Mama.

A pain that instills fear of losing my sister. A pain that taunts me with the inevitable loss of Papa, Jean, Pierre—of all my loved ones.

A pain that closes around my heart, threatening to consume me whenever I think of living a life without him in it.

I inhale Beau’s sweet citrus scent, tracing small circles across his skin as the world feels too much for the two of us. I don’t want him to feel alone with the burdens and pain we both carry.

“I can’t lose you again, either,” I whisper as our eyes lock.

“I swear we will not lose each other again. I swear we will find out who killed your mother. And I swear we will cure Marian, and we will sort out your magic,” Beau vows, and seals his promise with a kiss.

“I love you, Rosebud,” he breathes when we break apart.

My heart flutters, filling up with more love than I believed fathomable. “I love you too, B.”

The summer’s sunset encircles us, and I glance to my right, a familiar floating ember appearing.

The esprit.

I smile and nudge Beau, his eyes catching on the reminder of why we came out here.

With a grin, he asks, “Are you ready?”

Tenderness and love fill my heart, expanding and thrumming along my nerves before I nod. The esprit flashes from an ember into a sizzling soul, dusk strengthening its tether to communicate with me.

“Powerful, are your gifts. But mightier is your will and intellect,” the soul whispers.

I beam, grateful for its presence here with Beau. “I-I don’t know the first thing about shifting at will.”

“I’d say make yourself as comfortable as you can,” Beau suggests, and I agree, reaching to remove my clothing.

My love multiplies as Beau tenderly holds my gaze, taking my shirt and trousers and placing them by our packs without his eyes drifting over my nakedness.

I ease down to the grass, the small spikes poking and tickling in different places before I rest against the tree stump.

Beau squats, a flicker of magic at the ready. “I’ll do everything I can to help with the pain.”

“I love you,” I breathe, grateful and fearful I might never have the chance to say it again. “And nothing will ever stop or keep me from loving you.”

I drag his mouth to mine, kissing him earnestly like I did when I first made my affections known to him so long ago. My reckless mindset back then steered me to savor this, melting from Beau’s groan before I pull away.

“I love you, too.” His dimples appear, and I memorize every part of his handsomeness before tucking it away and summoning my magic.

The sizzling soul drifts to my other side, a ghost of heat hovering by my skin. “Breathe in the forest and breathe out the power. The magic and your acceptance will guide you through the rest.”

I wiggle to get more comfortable and close my eyes, listening to the forest.

The smell of moist soil drifts along my nostrils, mixing with Beau’s citrus scent as leaves rustle with the wind. Soft chirps of insects and birds fill my mind as the rough bark of the tree rubs against my spine.

“Good,” the soul whispers. “Now reach for the beast inside of you and evoke understanding as you can with animals.”

The empathy and love of treating others surges forth from my heart as I open my palms, willingly reaching for my gifts.

I startle when power pulses like lightning in response, scorching my veins and making me flinch. But I steel my focus, gritting my teeth as another burst of magic shoots out from my chest, careening to my legs.

“Mightier will and intellect,” the soul reminds.

I shift my mindset from bracing for a broken bone to one of understanding and openness.

And when the first fracture happens, there isn’t a snapping or stabbing sensation. A deep ache takes over, but it’s more manageable than ever. But the joy is short-lived when my shoulder dislodges.

I wince before sending a wave of awareness and acceptance to the pain.

Sweat protrudes along my hairline as I mentally chase after the gifts altering me, conveying goodwill and being rewarded with merciful changes to my appearance.

The transition expands, muscles stretching, nerves tingling, and bones restructuring. All with more thoughtfulness. More tenderness.

Power caresses me in an embrace, a blast of gratitude rocking through me.

My magic has waited so long for me to listen. So long for me to give up my control. And I can’t help but feel Mama’s presence. Like she’s here watching over me.

I smile and sink into the feeling, letting it surround me.

“I feel your power changing you,” Beau breathes in stunning revelation. “I’ve barely had to do anything to help you because you’re doing it on your own. You’re doing it, my love.”

His praise stirs up a song in my heart, eliciting a purr from my chest as the added weight sinks me further into the soil before fur ripples forth from my pores.

I wrinkle my nose—my snout—bombarded by the heavy scent of Beau as I move to all fours.

The tether of my power and my mind snaps when I involuntarily crack my neck, my eyes blinking open to the sizzling soul and Beau dipping into a bow of reverence, uttering in unison.

“Hail the Protector of Beasts.”