Page 85 of Be My Brayshaw (Brayshaw High 4)

As if my blood has turned to stone in my veins, the unexpected weight threatens to collapse my lungs and snap my ankles.

I’m frozen in place, unable to look away, traitorous eyes glued on what may very well be the end of our beginning, on Ken and his Barbie, flawless, gorgeous.

Made for each other.

He says something, and I wish I knew what, as she answers with a smile.

Mallory steps from the doorway, but keeps one hand inside, wrapped around the frame of the front door.

The ice that froze me here must have fully taken over, numbing other parts of me, because I feel nothing when she grips his shirt as he likes to do with mine, gently pulling him closer, and it doesn’t sting when she angles her mouth to his and he does nothing to stop her.

She’s cautious, almost slow motion in her advance, or maybe that’s how my mind decides to torture me, by slowing this nightmare down to make sure I can replay it with no moment left out.

Her pink lips lock with his.

Thick full lips I crave but am not allowed to touch.

That refuse to touch mine.

What’s worse than the kiss itself is Captain’s response, or lack thereof.

He doesn’t pull back, doesn’t tear away, or shove her off.

Her lips mold to his and he accepts them, accepts her.

Her feet begin to shuffle backward, her lips still aligned with his, fists still tight on his shirt as she leads him the two steps from the porch to the entryway.

She stares up at him, and he down at her as his foot makes the final move, officially placing him across the threshold.

Blindly, Captain reaches behind him, closing them inside.

As if the seal of the door shook the ground beneath me, cracked the earth to its core and released a molten lava right at my feet, the ice in my blood melts, and I’m flooded with everything at once.

The ache and the burn and the venomous sting threaten to take me to my knees, but I refuse to fall.

It’s a deserving pain, after all, so I welcome it, embrace it.

“Fuck you doing, VicVee.” Royce’s voice suddenly meets my ear, and then he’s beside me, staring at the same door I can’t seem to pull my eyes from. “Go get your man.”

I must shake my head because he asks with a heated undertone, “He not worth the fight, or are you too weak, not up for a challenge?”

“He’s worth every hit, Royce. Every battle.” I’m surprised by the hollowness of my own voice, and he must be too, because his head snaps my way. Slowly, I meet his eyes. “I’d fight for what I want, and I can sure as shit handle it. I’m not too weak or afraid or anything else you might think or want to believe, not in the slightest.”

He turns his body to face me better.

“I’d go up against anything or anyone for him.”

He frowns, whispering, “Except her.”

I nod, and I’d go as far as to say he feels bad, not that I want him to.

Royce looks away, heavy tension lining his forehead. “That’s fair, but that girl, she don’t deserve him.”

If only he knew how true a statement that was.

His footsteps carry him away, and then he calls, “Come on, girl. Let’s go home, huh?”

Translation: let’s not sit here and see how long it takes him to come back out.

“Did you know?” I call out.

“That Cap is fucking his baby mama, who I’m half tempted to feed to the gorilla at the zoo?” he snaps. “Nah, can’t say I did.”

He slips inside with a hard slam to his door, so I make my way over, climbing into the passenger seat of his SUV.

He puts it in gear but before he presses on the gas, his dark eyes swing to mine. He opens his mouth to speak, but then shakes his head and off we go.

Only once on the drive back do I realize the timing was no accident, none of it. The trip to the store, Cap’s arrival, Royce and the ride home.

Maybell knew what she was doing.

She always does.

The rest of the afternoon is a wasted pit of time, like staring at the sun in the peak of the day wishing for the moon to show himself.

I’m about to give in and look to the clock I’ve forced my eyes not to touch when an engine dies out front, alerting us Captain’s finally back.

The door flies open, and he rushes inside, quickly tossing his keys on the coffee table.

“Hey,” he says, stiff and to no one in particular, his feet carrying him directly through the living room, right past us. “I talked to Dad, he said he just now convinced Zoey to leave the zoo.”

Royce’s eyes stay locked on me as he talks to Captain. “Season pass is gettin’ its use, huh?”