Page 41 of Be My Brayshaw (Brayshaw High 4)

“Boys. I’d heard you were back today, but I didn’t have time to say hello this morning.”

“Lookin’ good, James.” Royce nods.

He scoffs. “If I had known becoming principal of a high school was harder than managing the entire town’s safety, I’d have never agreed to this.”

“Hey, it’s a good compromise. You have to stay involved; we need you,” I tell him.

“I’m pretty sure my daughter doesn’t share your sentiment.” He chuckles. “She’s not so happy I’m here.”

“Ah, she’ll come around, doesn’t take much to please Chloe,” Royce adds with a smirk.

James levels him with a stern look. “I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that.”

“Nah, my man.” Royce pats his shoulder, stepping around him. “You mean, you’re gonna try and forget I did. Good luck with that, James!” he shouts from inside the locker room door.

I fight a laugh while James looks ready to puke.

Maddoc watches Royce go before turning back to James. “You got eyes on Raven?”

“Am I tracking her every move like you asked me to?” James lifts his brows.

My eyes snap to Maddoc.

“Yes,” he says.

“No,” James responds.

I quickly put my shoulder between them, knowing Maddoc’s advance was coming.

“That wasn’t a request.” Maddoc speaks slow.

“I can’t invade the privacy of the head of this town without her permission,” James tells him calmly.

“I put a fucking kid inside her. That is permission enough.” Maddoc’s shoulder begins to push against my back.

James, though, he smiles at him, used to his aggressive nature and proud of his fierce protection over his girl. “I’ll talk to Mrs. Brayshaw and see what I can do. See you guys later.”

Maddoc shoves into the locker room with me on his tail.

“You know she’s gonna tell him to kiss her ass, right?”

“Yeah, I know. I’m working on the doctor, need her forced into bed rest, so I can keep her ass locked at home until she’s stronger.”

I laugh. “She’s pregnant, not broken.”

“Then why’s everything hurt her?” he shouts.

“She say that?”

He scoffs, giving an incredulous glare. “Yeah, fuckin’ right, Cap, but I can tell. She’s exhausted, makes all these faces when she moves, like she’s stepping on thorns and shit. It’s her feet, her back, her fucking tits.” His eyes widen. “Swear to God, if her puss—”

“Cut it, brother.” I lift my palms and walk away, but the second I get under the warm spray of the shower, an unexpected and unwelcome question begins to swim inside my head.

I try to refocus, force my thoughts to anything other than where they’ve suddenly taken me, but it’s no use.

The things he’s describing in Raven, the things we’ve all began to notice, the swell of her stomach as her child starts to grow, the little cravings and mood swings, the added sentiment behind her eyes and lost look she gets when she’s quiet, I wonder... are those things Mallory experienced while pregnant, too, but alone?

And if she did, how the fuck could she go through all that, and still walk away from our baby girl in the end?

Was it easy for her or hard?

Did she give a damn at all?

Did she ever even hold her?

Did my baby girl lie alone, uncomforted and unwanted her first days in this world?

A deep, crushing ache falls on my chest and I fight for a slow inhale.

The pain has nothing to do with the girl who picked a different path than the one I gave her, and everything to do with the little girl waiting for me at home. For a love that was foreign but felt the moment I knew she was out there somewhere.

I didn’t have to see her to love her.

I needed no convincing to keep her.

The second I found the hospital birthing records with Mallory’s name all over them hidden deep inside my gym bag, it was as if an invisible weight lifted, like somehow deep down I was aware something was missing, and learning Zoey was out there filled a hole I never knew had been dug.

Mallory lost out on more than she’ll ever know, but Zoey never will.

I’ll adore her enough for us both, as will my family.

She’ll lack no love.

I’m stuck in my own head the remainder of the day. I don’t remember speaking to anyone or even eating at lunch. All I’ve been doing is waiting for the bell to ring so I could get the hell out and home.

I round the corner, headed toward the main entrance and a grin pulls at my lips.

Guess the others felt the same.

They’re waiting in the hall, ready to get out of here. With basketball season over, we’ve got nothing forcing us to stay after school.

We head straight for the truck, but when I spot Victoria eyeing Chloe and her friends across the parking lot, head tipped with a slight pinch of her dark brows, I pause beside her.

“Leave it alone, she’s with Mac now.”